In this episode of KARAMO, host Karamo mediates a heated counseling session between a husband (referred to as SPEAKER B) and his wife Brittany. The husband reveals that his wife has been drinking heavily—about a half‑gallon of bourbon every two to three days—since the death of a close family member in March, and that she recently spent three weeks traveling after a short‑term job shadowing in Nashville, which sparked his suspicions of infidelity. He also mentions a 23‑year‑old man whose photos remain on her phone, leading to a demand for their deletion. Both partners disclose past infidelity: the husband admits to three affairs before marriage, while Brittany recounts a brief, non‑sexual connection with the young man during a period of grief‑induced bonding. Brittany also shares her recent gastric sleeve surgery, newfound confidence, and self‑identification as a “functioning alcoholic.” Trust, transparency, and the prospect of an open relationship surface as central conflicts. Karamo guides the couple to delete the contentious photos, encourages honest communication, and recommends returning to a recovery support group. The session ends with both parties expressing a willingness to learn about the “new” version of each other and a tentative commitment to rebuild their family.
Chapters
Please tell me, why are you here today?
I'm here because my wife is drinking heavily. She's lost a bunch of weight and she ran off with a guy.
Oh, she did?
Yeah.
So from what, so you caught her cheating?
Not cheating, she said she was going to shadow a job out in Nashville.
Yeah.
And she did and it turned into 3 and a half weeks.
Got it.
My kids are wondering when mom's coming home.
Wow. What do you think happened?
I don't know. I don't know the full truth. That's only what she tells me.
What is she telling you? Nothing happened?
Yeah, she said nothing happened, that it wasn't sexual or anything like that.
Got it. So you said also that she said she has a— you said before she has a drinking problem.
Yes, that middle of March she lost a very close somebody and She started drinking heavily.
Got it. And how much do you say she drinks?
She drinks about a half gallon every 2 to 3 days.
That's a lot.
Of bourbon.
Of bourbon, okay. And how long y'all been together?
We've been together 9 years.
And how did you two meet?
We met at a meeting. I'm a recovering addict of 9 years. And so is my wife.
Yeah. Have you been able to stay sober?
Ish.
Ish, okay, got it.
Clean.
Clean.
Clean but not sober. I drank with her so she's not getting in trouble.
Have you asked her to stop drinking?
Multiple times.
And what did she say?
She's not ready.
Not ready. My producer said you didn't want to unlock her phone. Why was that?
Because we built our foundation on trust and there's no reason to.
But you told my producers that she has photos you don't like. What do you mean?
Yeah, it's a 23-year-old boy that's with her. I can't deal with it, I want it gone off the phone. I want it out of my life.
And who's the boy, do you know?
I don't like him, but yes, I know him. I try to get along with him for her sake because they trauma bonded and they had similar backgrounds, so they basically just, just.
Do you know if, do you think they had an affair?
I hope not. She asked me if I wanted an open relationship.
Oh, wow.
She told me it would be beneficial to both of us because I cheated. I've cheated multiple times.
Okay.
I've admitted to it. I've moved on, but I don't think she's moved on.
Got it. And when you say multiple times, how many times did you cheat?
3, before we got married.
Got it. And how long have you been married now?
We've been married 5 years.
Got it. So the first 4 years you cheated 3 times, and then once you got married and you were committed, you no longer cheated?
I no longer, I took my oath and I'll take it to the grave.
So you tell my producers that you think that she changed after the weight loss. What do you think changed?
Everything. She gained so much confidence. She's a beautiful woman. But the drinking.
Yeah, the drinking.
It destroys marriages, it destroys lives, it's destroying me.
My producers say you almost got a divorce a few months ago, what happened?
It was about a month and a half ago after the open relationship talk and we did not speak for 2, 3 weeks. We were not speaking at all, we weren't on terms, she, Went to legal aid, everything, and wanted to get a divorce.
What will you do if she doesn't stop drinking?
I gotta go.
You gotta go. You gotta go. Okay.
Good job.
Well, it's time to meet Brittany and hear what her side of this entire story. So everyone please welcome Brittany to the show. Hey Brittany, thank you for being here. Okay. So when did he start accusing you of cheating?
It started after my drinking started.
Okay.
I left to go to Nashville for 3 days. It was supposed to only be 3 days. I was shadowing a job. It turned into being from Nashville to Las Vegas to LA to San Diego, back to Nashville and then back to Ohio. It ended up being almost 3 weeks.
Got it.
For a job I ended up not getting.
Got it, got it. So you were there for 3 weeks. And do you understand why you saying 3 days that turns into 3 weeks could cause insecurities?
Absolutely.
Okay then. So tell me about your weight loss journey.
After having gastric sleeve surgery, I did gain a lot of confidence that I didn't have before.
Of course.
I did not anticipate losing my grandfather in March or becoming an alcoholic. I call myself a functioning alcoholic, but Well, I might be. I'm not as functioning as I could be.
Drinking and driving's not functional.
Not at all.
You've been drinking and driving?
I have.
Okay. I gotta go back to when you were in Nashville for those 3 and a half weeks. I gotta ask you directly, did you cheat?
I did not. The night that I met this kid—
The 23-year-old?
He's younger than me, yeah. We had gone out to a bar in our hometown and it was 2 weeks after my grandfather passed and he was tired and wanted to go home. So he said, take me home, you can come back out. So I did and I was playing a game of pool by myself. This kid walks up to me and he's like, hey, do you want someone to play with you? And I was like, yeah, sure. And so we, you know, we played a game of pool and then we sat down, we went outside, smoked a cigarette, had a drink, started talking. He was talking about his child that he hadn't seen in a long time. On the other side of the country, and I was talking about losing my grandfather, and I did not realize it at the time, but now I realize that we kind of trauma bonded in a sense.
More than trauma bonded.
And we got really close really fast, and we are not friends anymore. We haven't spoken in months, and I know that's—
And it never got across the line, not once?
No.
He asked you to delete that photo. Why haven't you deleted it?
I'm not sure. Like, maybe the same way that as where in my past I was an addict, I wouldn't take it back because it made me who I am today and it's part of my life. Part of it makes me who I am.
Got it.
And—
So I gotta ask this because if nothing happened with him and you said nothing happened in Nashville, why ask for open marriage when you return?
Because, At the beginning of our relationship, a month before we got married, his ex-wife came to me and told me that they had slept together several times, and he ended up admitting it and telling me the truth.
One time.
There was a part of me, like in a selfishness, that was like, if he was able to do that, why can't I? You know?
Of course, yeah.
Kind of like—
Makes sense. Completely makes sense to me.
And I completely understand that, but at the end of the day, if I'd have took all 14 3 weeks, we'd be divorced.
Mm-hmm. Yeah, I would've lost my mind.
Well, you originally wanted to unlock his phone and then you changed your mind. Why?
Because if we are gonna make things work and we're gonna move forward, the only way we can is on a foundation of trust. Without trust, you have nothing.
I agree that trust is super important, but what makes trust is transparency, and neither of you have transparency. So what you're essentially doing, you're trying to build a relationship on blind trust You two don't have transparency.
We don't.
You all are pretending like you do.
We're trying to now.
So he's asked you to stop drinking. Why haven't you stopped drinking?
I'm not ready.
OK.
I am not ready to feel the pain of—
But pain is pain. Pain's going to be here no matter what. Understandable. And I don't want to hurt your feelings, but it's killing me to see you die.
It's killing the kids, it's killing the family, I know that.
The kids are looking at me with you being gone for 3 weeks. Where's mom? Where's mom? When's mom coming home? I don't know, I don't have an answer.
He's saying, he's also saying that the drinking could lead him down a path. How do you feel about that?
I would hate to be the one to cause that.
I don't want a daughter.
I just don't, yeah.
I would absolutely hate that. I would never forgive myself.
Got it. So what are you hoping for today?
I'm hoping that we can try to understand each other better, start fresh, have a fresh foundation, and just, I do want to try to stop drinking.
Yeah.
I think it's time to grow up. Mm-hmm.
I wanna ask something. Can y'all put back up that wedding photo for me? Do y'all recognize the two people in this photo?
I, no.
Do you recognize the people in that photo? And I don't just mean about the weight loss.
I mean, I do and I don't.
What I'm trying to do by bringing this up is help you to understand that until you start having that honest communication, the codependency that y'all are clearly growing apart from is going to break y'all down and it's going to keep causing y'all pain. You have to start being honest about who you are as a woman now. And the more, and I know that when you said, Hey, what about an open relationship? It didn't mean that you wanted it, but it was your way of trying to bridge the conversation. And I know that scared the hell outta you. It did. Since y'all are not unlocking phones, unfortunately I can't help you out fully because we don't have the transparency of it. But since you're making a commitment to be together, I'll tell you the first thing you need to do is delete that photo. Because even though you say, and I understand, I've worked with many people who have been in recovery and they say to themselves, hey, you know what? If this was part of my past, it's who it made me and I'm not gonna be ashamed of it. But in this case, this is not part of your past. This was not something that made you. This is something that's actually hurting you. Whatever confidence you felt, we do things in the moment. Y'all gotta have fun. Can you bring it to me?
There we go.
Thank you, Rob. You can delete it now.
Absolutely.
You know, you don't know how much this makes me makes me happy that you actually listened to me.
I think she's about to do it right now.
It's not the only one.
You can delete them all. Delete them all.
Keep scrolling.
Delete them all.
Keep going.
Delete them all. Delete them.
They're gone.
Delete them. There you go. Deleting them. There you go.
Thank you.
There you go. Does that make you feel better knowing that those are deleted? Yeah. I love you. Now this is what I'm gonna say to you. She's made that first step. What you gotta do is make a first step to say to her, even though she's drinking, and this is outside the drinking because you know that's killing you and it's gonna kill your family, you have to make the first step to say, you know what? I understand that you are a new woman now and I wanna respect and know who this woman is. I knew a woman that I got married there, but I don't know this woman yet. You have to say that I'm willing as your man to learn who this woman is and learn how this new woman thinks, how she sees the world, how she sees herself. Can you commit to her to say, I wanna see the new woman, I wanna learn about this new Brittany?
I want everything with you. There's not one thing I don't want to experience. I wanna experience life with you, but if you don't quit drinking, I gotta go.
I get that, I get that, I get that. Now before we get to the drinking, because we gonna get to the drinking, I need you to make a commitment that you'll learn about this new Brittany.
Absolutely.
Can you tell her that?
'Cause I'm never gonna be the whole Brittany The old Brittany again.
There you go.
I don't, to be honest with you, the old Brittany.
You don't want back?
I don't want back.
Great, so tell her that I'm willing to learn the new Brittany.
I'm willing to learn the new Brittany and who you are as a person inside and out.
Now the reason that I made him make that commitment to you, because I understand that even though your drinking is with grief, it also is with, am I going to lose everything? It's the fear of what's coming. What happens if who I am now and what I want now and what I desire now is gonna make me lose my family, my security, but he's telling you that he's willing to learn the new Brittany. He's willing to be by your side. And what happens is that if you share something with him of who you are and he does something different, you get to say, you said you were willing to learn. You met in a support group and I think it's time that you all go back to a support group. And I'm gonna be very honest with you because, 'cause I think it's time for more of you talking about it. What I do know is that this is both of your way of saying, "We need somebody to hear us. We need to get this out." And a support group, I've led those groups. This is a group that can help you to be in that space. So I wanna encourage you, if you don't know where one is in your town, I can have somebody backstage and we can find some of those groups for you. But I think that if you, knowing that he's gonna listen to you, he's gonna learn, seeing she made the commitment to delete those photos, and if you get back in a support group, I think you've taken the first step to rebuilding your family. You hear me? How do you both feel?
I think that's a great idea.
You both agree?
Oh yeah.
Absolutely.
Yeah. Yes.
Hopefully you got a little something from being here with me. I wish you both the best. Seriously, I wish you both the best. All right. Thank you so much. You're welcome.
Thank you so much for listening.
Yeah, you're welcome. I'm always here to listen. Always. All right, friends, stay with us. We'll be right back with more.
