In this Karamo‑hosted interview, newly sober parents Jesse and Ashley discuss how years of raising children while one partner continued using drugs created deep mistrust, paranoia, and feelings of gaslighting. Karamo explains that even brief drug use leaves lingering emotional and behavioral effects—heightened temper, poor decision‑making, and impaired communication—that can make sober partners feel as if they are “going crazy.” He points out that the couple’s silence and conflict stem from not truly knowing each other in sobriety, and that the separation period during rehab acted as a forced reset. Through guided introductions and honest dialogue, Karamo encourages the pair to acknowledge the hurt caused, take accountability, and begin rebuilding trust and a healthier family dynamic now that both are sober.
Chapters
You all met high. Mm-hmm. So you all don't know each other. Mm-hmm. Right. And you spent 2 years where you were sober and were raising your kids and you were still on drugs. Yeah. And so now that you're sober, I realize that the reason you've been paranoid this time and feeling like you're gaslit is because you were with a man who was still on drugs. And so through your sobriety, you were wanting him to match your conversations. You were wanting him to match your honesty. You were wanting him to match all these new things that you were going through and he couldn't match it. And so you were getting caught into this cycle of, well, you know what? Like, I feel like I'm going crazy. It's not that you were going crazy, he just was on drugs. And so, and I say it sounds silly enough, but the thing is, is that that's why the communication, because as a former addict, I know even if he stopped for a day or 2 days, the lingering effects of like what it is after you're, you're still high, you're still making bad decisions, your temper's still up, all these things. So even though he might have used one day, 4 days later you're trying to talk to him and he's still coming down. And you're having a problem which is making you feel paranoid and making you feel like you're in a very toxic relationship, which to be truthful, you were. But then I realized your silence because I was trying to figure out why you're silent right now. And I was thinking, is he a narcissist? Is he manipulating her in this moment? And I realized it's because you're finally sober and I realize you're finally hearing her. You're finally hearing the woman you love. How does it make you feel knowing that you were, during those 2 years, you were hurting your lady and hurting your family?
Terrible. It breaks my heart. I would never do anything to hurt any of my children.
Tell her.
Or you, Ashley. Not on purpose. I would never, you know, I love you deeply and I wouldn't wanna hurt you. I wanna help you. I wanna help us. I just wanna lift us up. You know, I've got a long way to go. This is new to me.
Yeah. Because I also, I was looking at the separation period and the time period where you were like this, In-N-Out dad, it's because you were in rehab. So all of these pieces make sense to me that you two have to meet each other for the first time. Seriously, you don't know this man. No, I don't. And you don't know her.
Right.
Like, and this is gonna seem silly, but I want you to turn to each other and say, hi, I'm Ashley. Hi, I'm Ashley. Hi, I'm Jesse.
Nice to meet you, I'm Jesse.
You gonna shake my hand? I know it seems silly, but all this paranoia and the things you're going through is because y'all don't know each other sober. And it's so exhausting. It's exhausting. And I know that weight on you of holding your family together for 2 years while the man you love was still on drugs was hard.
