Once A Cheater, Not Always A Cheater! Unlock My Phone and See! | KARAMO

Kayla says she made a big mistake when it comes to her boyfriend Deshawn. Take a look at what she had to say about the entire situation.

Deshawn friend requested me on Facebook last summer and we hit it off right away. I just came out of a very toxic relationship, but I could tell Deshawn was different. Deshawn was the first guy that wanted to know me for me and it felt so good. He wasn't just trying to jump into bed with me. I was scared of losing him and I made a terrible mistake. I cheated on Dashaud for the first month of our relationship. I regret that decision every day. But what Dashaud doesn't understand, things are different now. I cut those men outta my life. I only want Dashaud. I have not stepped out on Dashaud since October. Karamo, I need you to unlock my phone and prove it.

Tell me, Dashaud, how do you feel about what you just heard?

I wanna know right now what is going on.

Yeah, so you still feel like something's going on with her?

Of course, all the sneakiness and all the little suspiciousness, I just want to get it over with.

Mm-hmm. What is the suspicious behavior you see?

She always wait until I leave to get on her phone.

Mm.

If I come back in, she's getting out of it real fast and then put her phone down like she ain't doing nothing.

Got it. Have you been cheated on in the past?

Yes.

Okay, so when did Kayla tell you about the cheating?

When we was already together for about 2 months, staying together.

Mm-hmm.

She told me about it. I just kind of felt it and it was just not right. And so I just kept asking her about it and she finally just came out with one of them.

So there was multiple?

Yes.

Ooh. So what hurt you the most about that situation?

Because I gave her the opportunity when we first met that she should be able to, you know, I give her option like, you know, this is what you need to do. Like if you want to be with other people, Just tell me, you know, I can, you know, go about it the way that you wanna go about it. You feel me? Like, give me—

You're saying like, give me the choice.

Yeah, give me that choice, basically. You know? I mean, we here all here to understand each other, you know what I'm saying? So if I give you that, if you wanna be with them, go ahead. Don't sit here and lie to me, you know what I'm saying, to say you love me and all this and that, but then you still got everybody else that you on your phone.

Got it. So if she confessed, why are you still wanting to lock her phone?

Well, because I still feel like it's something more. You know, when you tell you, she tells me one story and it was like, oh, it's only one time. No, then it comes back and then she says it again. And then next thing you know, it's like she's talking to me about this other guy and I'm like, who is this? Oh yeah, we're supposed to get a hotel room and all this. And I'm like, what?

Why do you still feel like she's fibbing? Why do you feel like she's still acting suspicious? What is she doing today?

Because it's like the very hours that she comes home, you know, she supposed to get off at 12 o'clock. You know, she works right around the corner. Why you just won't either walk or catch an Uber? Why you gotta wait on this person or you getting outta, getting dropped off at Checkers and stuff like that there from other guys that I don't even know?

Yeah.

Like you ain't even confided in me and be like, "Hey babe, I'm got these guys dropping me off." You don't say nothing. You know, you just do what you wanna do.

What rumors have you heard about Kayla?

Well, just about a week ago, I was talking to one of the guys out there where we stay at, and he was like, "The girl next door, she's telling everybody that she's been messing around with your girl." Oh. Yes.

So now you're hearing that she might have been sleeping with a woman as well.

Yes. It kind of made me feel like, why is I'm here? Like, what are you trying to do? You're making me miserable.

You're the one who actually reached out to the show for my help.

Because I need you to unlock my phone to prove to him that I'm not cheating anymore.

Mm-hmm. So for the record, when was the last time that you cheated?

The last time I cheated was in October.

Mm-hmm. October.

Yeah, she left me. She supposed to been with me that night, two nights in a row that she said she loved me and that she wanted to be with me and, "Oh, I love you. I'm gonna be home soon." And next thing you know, I don't hear from her till the next day.

Got it. Got it.

And then it happened again. And then I was like, the next thing you know, I get this message on my phone and it's saying, "Oh, I'm confused. I love you, but I don't wanna be in a relationship no more." What was that about?

Because I felt guilty of what I did and I had just got out of a bad relationship months before I had met him. I haven't wanted to, you know, get into a big commitment right away.

Yeah.

Wasn't mentally stable yet. And I should have told him that.

But I just wanted to go—

At least you can own that. At least you can own that.

Yeah, but she should have told me that. I gave her opportunity. I was the opportunity. If this is what you want, then this is what you want. If you don't, just leave me alone.

Got it.

You know what I'm saying? It's just, I don't, I can't.

What is the reason that you hide your phone when he comes back in the room?

I haven't been hiding anything.

Okay.

Because he's always accusing me of doing something. So it's like I can't even play my game. I've stopped being on social media for months now. I don't even have any connection with anyone else.

I just feel like she got other things going on, like hidden apps and stuff like that though. Because it's like at night sometimes she can have her phone over here, but then it's always buzzing. It always beeping 3, 4 in the morning.

The only people I talk to are my kids, my coworkers, and him. I don't have any friends. I don't have a social life, nothing.

Got it. Okay.

Because of this.

I want everyone to take a look at it.

But she did it 3 times, sir.

Okay.

This is 3 cheating times.

And you did something also, so don't act like you didn't.

Oh, okay.

Back in January, so don't act like you didn't do anything, 'cause you did do something also.

Yes.

So don't put all the blame on me.

I did do something.

Okay, hold on, so what did he do? So did he cheat as well?

Yes. And I didn't even know about it. I found it in his phone. He told me he would tell me if he was gonna do anything. He didn't tell me anything.

But I always told her everything.

Oh no, it's my turn to talk.

I always told her everything. I tell her everything. I tell her everything. I kept telling her.

But hold on, because you painted a picture for me that only she cheated, you cheated as well.

Yeah, I did.

Okay.

I admit it, I did that. But I only did it to get her to feel the way I felt. And I told her.

No, that's not right.

But I kept telling her the same thing. I kept telling her the same thing. Like, what if I go mess around with somebody else and don't tell you or be sneaky with it? How you gonna feel about that?

So how did that make you feel when you found that out? Did you forgive him?

Yeah, 'cause he said he stopped, but it made me feel, it made my heart drop.

Yeah.

And I was in tears because I knew that I haven't been doing it. I know what I did at the beginning and I told her I'm very sorry for it. I regret it every single day. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about it and wish that I could take it back. But I've stopped doing that.

Have y'all ever broken up?

Yeah.

Yeah, she broke up with me.

How many times have y'all broken up? Just once?

Once.

Once.

Okay. Kayla, is there anything in this phone that I should be concerned about or that you wanna admit to? Nope. Nothing at all?

Nothing at all.

Okay then. Well, it's time to unlock your phone. We found zero photos. When it came to locations to see if Kayla had shared her location with anybody about where she was or where she wanted to meet them, we found zero shares. All right. Okay.

All right.

When it came to the phone, this phone that you gave us to unlock was just activated on January 29th. Mm-hmm. So we weren't able to find any other information because this is a brand new, completely new phone. But since January, when it came to text messages, we found 2 suspicious text messages since January. Kayla received suspicious texts from two different men. One text asking if she was working, the other text was asking if she was home.

And come to find out, this was him. That was him. Because I went on a field trip with my daughter and I got messages from these numbers. I came in to tell him about it and he said, oh, that was me. I wanted to see what you were gonna do in that situation and if you were gonna tell me. He was testing me.

Hold on, so—

So I didn't even do anything. It was him.

So you were catfishing her?

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Okay, hold on because I have these text messages. Can you show me these? Thank you so much, my friend. Hold on. So I asked them to print these text messages because I thought this was interesting. And so you're telling me that these conversations are you. You're saying things like, "Hey, what you doing today? You got a boyfriend?" And you're like, Yes, I have a boyfriend, but you're asking her for, you have a boyfriend and that was you?

Yeah, that was me.

Right.

And you kept pressuring her in these texts saying, let's go out, let's do stuff. And she's like, but I have a boyfriend, so I'm not chilling with you. I mean, one of the things I will say to this though is first, why did you even start to catfish her?

Well, 'cause I wanted to see if she was gonna be honest. You know what I'm saying? By getting these phone different texts and stuff from people that she knows, like coworkers and stuff like that. And I just wanted to see if she was gonna keep going on with the situation. And I told her, you should have just ended that, 'cause I was tired of it. She should have just ended it. I'm tired of it too. She should have just ended the conversation.

And she did say she had a man.

Yes, but she should have ended the conversation. Well, that would be my second point.

Why, if you got text messages, 'cause I see at the top of these, you're like, you now say, this is Jay, and you say, Jay who? And you don't really respond. You just kind of go into these other parts. Why didn't you just end it right there and say delete?

Exactly.

If you don't know who it is, why did you continue to engage?

'Cause I didn't know who was texting me.

Then when you said get off the phone.

'Cause I just got that number.

Then you say, what, stop texting me. But then you hit me back twice back to back saying, who is this?

Who is this?

So you're making me feel like you're curious about—

Were you curious about learning who these guys are or thinking you could know them?

No, I didn't care about the guys. I just wanted to know who had my number.

Can I be honest with you both? You're both in your 30s. You're both in your 30s. And these are games that children play.

Exactly.

The behavior's childish. Right. In every single way or form. Since y'all been together for 7 months, and from my count, there have been other people involved in your relationship, 3 from your part, 1 we know about from your part, that have been involved in your relationship. So I don't understand why y'all staying together when this is clearly toxic and clearly you two don't have the respect for each other that you need in a relationship.

Right.

I know you keep saying to me, Karamo, I love him, that's why I'm staying. Karamo, I love her, that's why I'm staying.

I do, I do love her, Karamo.

And I believe you do, but guess what you don't do? You don't respect her and you don't respect him. And that's the truth. I do believe there's genuine love, but I do believe there's not genuine respect. I think there's a codependency here where you two are staying with each other and hanging onto something when clearly Y'all are not communicating from your own words. You also said you're shutting down because you've had a relationship where someone got aggressive and you felt like, I can't talk. So clearly you're being triggered. You're being triggered as well in this relationship and y'all are just triggering each other over and over and over again instead of saying, you know what, let me just stop. You got trust issues.

Yes, I got them bad. Mm-hmm.

Let me tell you the way that you get over trust issues. The first step is you have to start to trust your own decision making. And so when you go into a situation where you find out that you've been hurt and your trust has been broken and you stay, you're not validating that you trust yourself. Hello. So trust yourself more, work on that. And for you, I think you needed more time from your ex.

I think so too.

Whatever happened to you, I'm sorry about that because I understand what it's like to be in a relationship that feel abusive. I understand how that probably affected you deep. But what has happened is you've gotten to another relationship where you weren't ready, so you wanted to still have your fun. You had your fun and now you're like, okay, well let me show you that I actually can be ready. But now he's hurt so bad that you're back in this cycle of being with somebody who's not gonna trust you, who's gonna make you feel bad about yourself, which I'm sure, and from your own words, is mimicking your past relationship, right?

Yes.

So y'all need to just look at each other and say, I'm sorry that I couldn't respect you like I needed to. But we should end this. Who wants to be the first to do it? Who wants to be the first to do it? Well, there's our answer. Hold up, hold up. Where are you going? I know you wanna watch more Karamo, so click here to subscribe and click here to watch more so we can keep talking and growing, friends. I love you.