In this Karamо talk‑show episode, father Chris seeks help to repair his relationship with his 17‑year‑old daughter Sylvia, who recently moved out. Chris explains that Sylvia left after a difficult school semester, fearing loss of privileges such as her phone, car, and band participation. The conversation reveals a deeper backdrop: Sylvia’s recent coming out as transgender, her gender dysphoria, and the emotional strain of changing her name. Chris describes his attempts to support her—offering unconditional help, building a backyard music shed for her band, and reminiscing about shared activities like drumming and road trips. Sylvia recounts her anxiety, the need to prove herself, and her perception that her father’s restrictions were unfair, though she acknowledges his honesty. Host Karamo repeatedly frames the dialogue around rebellion versus anxiety, urging both parties toward vulnerability, honest communication, and mutual acknowledgment of love. The episode ends with an emotional exchange where Sylvia tells her dad she needs him, and they share a hug, with Karamo encouraging continued openness and less rebellious behavior.
Chapters
Everyone, my next guest, Chris, is desperate to mend his relationship with his 17-year-old daughter, Sylvia. Welcome, Chris, to the show now. So Chris, my producers told me that you're here for my help because your daughter moved out and she's only 17 years old. When did she move out?
This past May.
Okay, and what was her reasoning for moving out in your opinion?
My thoughts that she had a really rough semester in school And I've always been very performance-based and she knew there was gonna be repercussions. She was gonna lose some freedoms over the summer. She wasn't willing to do that.
So what were the issues that you have been working on with her for the past 2 and a half years, as you said?
Her mother and I separated, but we also knew there was a lot going on. She came out to me as trans.
Okay.
And that's what a lot of this was stemming from, was gender dysphoria.
Was it a challenge for you to see her going through that change?
Oh, it was the biggest challenge I've ever faced in my life, I think.
Okay. And how were you able to support her when she said, "I'm trans"?
I told her straight up, "Whatever you need from me, I'm willing to give you. What do you need from me? How can I help?" Good job.
Since then, you've done the work.
I've tried to do the work.
When she changed her name, was that a hard moment for you?
That was the hardest moment. It's funny when you look back after all this time and I think about, The only thing that really I just could not wrap my head around, well, I came up with a name, Lucius. I just thought it was a fantastic name. And when she changed the name, I didn't realize I had such an emotional attachment to it.
How are you bonding now with her?
Now it's through music. OK. She's a musician. And I built a shop in my backyard and closed in a section of it for her band to come and play music.
Good job, Dad.
Well, hard work.
Many parents wouldn't say, well, let me figure out how to bond, and then let me build a shed for it so that you could have your friends over. Like, that's a step above and beyond, and I wanna acknowledge that. I appreciate you doing that. What do you miss most about Sylvia living with you?
We hung out, we did things, we had drums set up in the living room. I mean, going on road trips and doing mountain hikes and things like that. That's what I miss the most.
What would it mean to you to have your daughter come home?
It would mean the world to me, but at the same time, what's more important is that she's focused and working hard to make sure she has success. She's gonna need to be successful sustainable.
All right, maybe there's something you'll learn today. Please everyone, welcome Sylvia to the show. Okay Sylvia, I want to know, when did you move out of your father's house and why?
Uh, it was at the start of the summer. There's always this kind of looming thing throughout the entirety of the school year where if I didn't perform to a certain level, a lot of my, um, not really rights, but I guess privileges would be stripped. I think it was kind of filled with anxiety So I got into my car, turned off all my locational services, and drove to a friend's house.
But why do you have to turn off your location services?
Because there was this kind of anxiety that he would find me.
That your father would find you?
Yeah, I didn't want to come back until I was ready.
So let me get this straight, 'cause I wanna clear this story. So you're in school, you're not performing the way you're supposed to.
Yes.
So Dad would've said you can't be in the band and do all these things.
Can't do the band.
Because you didn't make the grades or you didn't do the thing. Okay.
I didn't really perceive it as fair.
What were the restrictions he put on you exactly?
There were a handful of things.
So he's taking away your phone?
Yeah, phone.
Okay.
Most like electronic devices. But the one that were really big for me is that he would restrict my social like time. Like I wouldn't be able to have use of my car, things like that.
Do you feel like you're honest to be, your father's being honest about the way he feels about you?
I would say he's at least mostly honest.
What do you think about that? She, she thinks that you're only mostly honest about what you're feeling.
Well, I am absolutely honest about how I'm feeling, but I understand her perspective on things for sure.
Got it. Are you afraid to fail your father?
Oh yeah, through the entirety of my life that's been kind of a backlying anxiety that I've had, and that's the reason that I left, just because I wanted to prove to him that I could do this on my— by myself.
Do you think you're just rebelling? You're 17 years old. I'm listening to everything you're saying and you're like, I didn't do well in school so my dad took away my phone. He's gonna take away my car. He's gonna take away my band. I'm wondering, was that just rebellious behavior?
I feel like this is more of a basis of, I feel like I needed to, I had something that I needed to prove to him.
But you have a supportive dad who loves you and is trying to be there for you.
But he can't hit every mark.
Do you think you're hurting him by not being at home?
Yeah. I do.
Is your daughter hurting you by not being home?
Absolutely.
Talk to her.
Absolutely. And that is something, you know, I can't push back about that you've done so well since you've been out on your own. And it pains me to say it and admit it, but if you're doing this well, maybe it's better if you don't come back. And that just destroys me.
I'm gonna be honest with you. I think you're a rebellious teen. That's what it is. I think you're a rebellious teen. I understand about right now you're in a very vulnerable place. Especially as transitioning, finding your social group is a very important time of a teen's life. But I believe some of the other actions were very much rebellious. Like, I'm gonna turn off my location. I'm gonna like not, you know, be there. Those things of nature. Can you admit that's rebellious in some degree?
I could see that to a certain degree. But at the same time, in my perception, that was all based off of anxiety.
I get it. I'm not gonna take away from your anxiety. But it's still being rebellious in a sense because you have a father here who I'm sure made some mistakes, but is trying and loved you. But this goes back to the way that you communicate. The way that your child is telling you is that they're afraid to fail you. When you say, is it hurting you that your child's not home? You're like, yeah, but it is hurting me. But you know what? If you're doing better on your own, more practical, practical, practical. Tell your daughter why you need her home.
I need you home because you're part of me. And not having you there, it's like part of me's not there. It doesn't matter what you do in life and you're not a failure to me ever.
At the end of the day, no matter how strong your daughter is, she still needs her daddy.
That's what I think. I agree.
Yeah. You need your father?
Oh yeah.
Can you tell him I need you?
I need you, man.
Can you give your dad a hug?
Here, please.
I think just practice more of this vulnerability and you two will be okay. Seriously, and then you gotta stop rebelling as well.
Uh-huh.
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