Should We Have a Baby Or Do You Need To Grow Up!? | KARAMO

All right, so you know the trend right now is older women dating much younger guys. And I say, get it, girl. Angel is 44 years old and has been dating a 29-year-old for 4 years. It sounds exciting, right? But she refuses to let him move in with her. Let's see why. Please welcome Angel to the show. Wow. Oh, wow, mama. Oh my God, Karamo. You better watch it. Walk out in confidence and purpose, okay? So you look beautiful.

Well, thank you.

So great to meet you. So why are you here today?

So I'm here because I met this gentleman 4 years ago. We've been dating. I would see him out, but I was in a relationship, but I noticed how he made people feel safe when they were around him. He had a lot of respect. Finally, I became single and he made sure I was completely single and he reached out to me. Yeah, someone has some morals.

I like that.

He definitely has morals. So we start this relationship. Friendship first. I respect him, I love him, he's so sexy, and he takes me to the moon every day.

The moon?

I go to the moon, baby.

The moon?

He takes me to the moon, and I've been wanting to go to the moon.

Come on, Neil Armstrong.

All right, this is some real life, you know. I've been wanting to go to the moon my whole life, and I finally found this man. I respect him, I look up to him, he leads me, but he's not good with his money. So he makes a lot of money. His company is very profitable, but he's got the biggest heart. I love it. It's very attractive. But being attractive and being prepared for the future is two different things. I've been there and done that. He has not.

Yeah. How long have you been dating? Because I need to know.

So we've been dating for 4 years.

4 years. Just want to make sure.

Yeah, we've been dating for 4 years. And that's the problem. So we're now getting serious.

Beautiful couple. Come on.

That's my baby.

You look about 29 too.

OK. Well, you know, and that's where we get it misconstrued at. Because I look younger. But I have, you know, a lot of experience. I've been there before where you ignore and make this fantasy of this man. So I don't wanna do that with him. So basically he just gives money to everybody.

Everyone?

Everyone.

So you say he gets a lot of money. How much money is he actually giving?

So I calculated $2,000 in one week.

One week?

One week. He gave $2,000 out in one week.

And so what is his reasoning for saying that he's giving this money out? Just because if someone says I need it, he giving it?

Pretty much. And my friends are like, well, you know, he does that for you too. But I'm his lady. And I'm not going to take advantage of him. I do want to move further. I do want to move. I live in a penthouse. I ain't moving to my penthouse. OK. We're going to have to get another house. You maybe, you know, you might lose your job. You might get hurt. I have 5 streams of income. I need you to have more than one. And we need to be saving and putting in a 401(k).

Yeah.

Build another business.

Makes sense. Makes sense.

Right.

Makes sense. You're trying to grow a future together.

I'm trying to grow, right.

So how often do you two argue about money?

We talk about it like at least 3 or 4 times a week 'cause people just hit him up. I'm not a big arguing type. He's not either. So I just let him do his thing. But the more you're going, I love you, I don't wanna lose you, you're bringing things into my life that I've never had before. I don't want you to get lost in the sauce because I will leave.

Okay, I will leave.

I will, because I don't wanna ignore that. And I really, he's like my best friend. I never had a best friend in a partner before. I've never had a best friend. I've never had a partner. I never had anybody that could keep— feel this energy, baby.

Yeah.

Do you feel this energy? Yeah. I have never had anybody that can keep up with that. I could be like, babe, let's go do this. Well, he 29, baby. He ready to go.

He ready to go. He ready to go.

He ready to go.

He got the energy too.

He ain't got no kids. He ain't got no— he's ready to go.

Yes.

And I never thought I would date somebody his age.

So he doesn't have any kids?

He does not have any kids.

That's good. Do you have any kids?

I do have kids.

OK, then great. So is there any issue with that?

There's no issue with that. He's a leader.

So does he want children?

He does.

He does. You just said there's no issue with that. So you said—

Well, it's not an issue 'cause he brought it up at the beginning. I said I'm not. He said, well, you know, I understand. Like if you just wanna travel and you wanna live your life, you've been there and done that. But deep down, I think eventually he's gonna want a baby.

Got it. So is that the other serious issues in the relationship? Is there any other serious issues in the relationship?

That's just those two things. That one hasn't came up yet, but it's stewing.

You've been together for 4 years. Do you see a long-term future with him?

I really do. Because again, I respect him so much. For me, To be a submissive woman, I have to respect you.

Of course.

I have to trust you. I have to feel safe. And he provides all that. That's been missing a lot because I, you know, it feel like my feminine, feminine energy drops if I don't have the right leader. Because then I feel like, well, I better do it because he ain't gonna do it right. I don't want to be like that. When I'm with him, I'm like, I don't know nothing. Ask him.

I'm tired. Yeah, yeah.

And he allows me to do that. So I see the future, but me seeing the future and not paying attention to what will hold me back from saying I do, I will, let's do it is that you cannot be giving all our money away.

Makes sense to me. Well, listen, Angel is 44 and Solo is 29. We've heard about what Angel wants outta the relationship, but what about Solo? I think it's time to find out. Everyone, please welcome Solo to the show. Y'all show up, y'all show up. How you doing, man?

How you doing? Doing pretty good.

I know I got something to say. So listen, I saw you moving real close. How much do you love this woman?

I love her a lot.

Yeah.

Yeah, she brings out a lot in me, man. So I definitely love her a lot.

So how does it make you feel when she talks about the fact that you're giving out this money?

I kind of get a little irritable. It's part of my love language, honestly. I come from the hood. What we end up doing is if one of us was down, we looked out for one another. So I remember where I come from. So when I see a lot of people— when I see a lot of people go through things, then I just be wanting to help them out.

Yeah.

You know, I do, I talk about this.

It makes sense. But at the same time, your woman, I get it. I understand, I appreciate the fact of you giving back. Yeah. But if your woman is saying there's an issue with the amount of money you've given, why is it holding you, why are you not able to hear what she's saying?

I actually, I do, I do hear it.

'Cause $2,000, she said you gave away $2,000 in one month, I mean one week.

One week, yeah.

That's a lot of money to give away in one week. I mean, you got it, but that don't mean everybody else gotta get it.

Right, right, right. I mean, I don't know. I feel like if I got it and I can help, you know what I mean? I'm gonna do what I can do.

Got it. Okay.

I feel like they definitely taking advantage.

Yeah.

Straight up. They all be like, "Oh, we ain't got no food, call him." So this is just activity from you.

So $60 here, $105 there, $196 there, $60 there. These are all different people.

Yeah.

So everyone just knows that they can come to you and ask for money. Yeah.

Like this is just a whole walking bank right here.

I know. Not a walking bank.

I just hit my babe up and just be like, "My kids need some Pampers. I need my—" "Not I need my hair done," but it has to be stuff that, don't say a baby or a senior, he got you.

So you arguing about money how often?

Oh man, a few times a week or really whenever she see me sending money out.

He be sneaking. Yeah.

And giving people money.

My gosh. Is that causing an issue for you in the sense that she's telling you like, "This is holding me back for the future." Yeah, it's a little scary.

He acting kind of serious right now about it, but when we talk about this at home, and he'll be like, man, I got it, long as I got air in my lungs, I'm breathing, I got it, we got it. He like laughing, playing, hit you on the booty, and I be like, okay, and all that stuff. But like, he's acting serious, but he's playing. He really still constantly does it, and I don't think he realize, like, you make me feel so secure in a lot of ways. I told you that you are my best friend. I told you that I respect you, I follow you. But that's the one thing that will keep me from being 100% submissive to you because we can't be growing and everybody in the hood got all our money.

So you own your own business. Tell me how you started it.

Basically, I was 22 years old, met a guy who owned his, or he was actually writing his business plan at a juvenile detention center. I would see him just working on his MacBook. Then I eventually asked him like, "Hey, you know, what are you doing on your MacBook?" And he was like, "Man, I'm starting a business plan." Now we're 22 at this time. He gave me a little bit of information and said, what you good at? I said, man, I'm good at protecting people. And he was like, all right, start a security business. Took off with it myself. Like I just didn't know. Yeah.

I mean, it's so interesting that one moment shifted your whole life to a path where you're actually now sustaining yourself at such a young age, especially in Black folks. They don't teach us like, hey, you know, you can start a business very early on. But I also believe that you do love this woman and you wanna have a future with her. With her. And she's telling you, look at this, she got on your shoulder. She's telling you that the money is an issue that you're giving away. And even though it's noble you're giving it away, what is life like without her?

It would honestly be different because when you've been with somebody for so long, you mold your life around that person. But I used to have, you know, the hood mindset to where I wasn't as outgoing as I am now. You know what I mean? Like it's just a lot though she's actually brought out in me.

You said the hood mentality growing up. What was life like growing up for you?

Single mother, 4 siblings, father that, I don't know, you know, I think he has some things going on within himself in the divorce that they had. So I became the man of the house at a young age. You know, when you young and you trying to figure out, you know, manhood without the guidance, you kind of start trying to put yourself around other boys and that's what I did. We had the negative type of, you know what I mean? Like people that would be in our ears like, "Hey man, sell this. Like here, sell this, you'll make some money." And so we kind of went off with that, got into hustling, some other things. Yeah, I get it, I understand.

Some other things. Some other things is some other things.

So it kind of escalated to where, man, we got into like fights, seen some robberies, seen some shootings, retaliation.

So this, I asked you that because it gives me context even more about why you're giving. So I have to ask you, what did you receive during that time?

Time? Honestly, the only thing I can say I received is just knowledge.

I wanna know, you wanna marry this woman? Do you also wanna start a family with her? 'Cause she brought up earlier that kids might be an issue.

No, I really don't think it's an issue. I did talk to her about wanting kids and whatnot and she was like, I'll give you a baby. You know what I'm saying?

Oh. Wait a minute. Hold on. So you just told me you said no, you're not doing it. Now you— Wait a minute. You really want another one?

I really don't want another one, but when you are married and if we get married and he sacrifices and does what he needs to do, this man's never had a baby before, we would discuss it.

Do you feel like she controls you with money?

I don't feel like she controls me. I just feel like, you know what I mean? She just, she shows a lot of concern. Good. Yeah, not concern.

'Cause I see that as well. I see it as concern as well. I don't see that as control at all. And I also don't, I think that the communication here is pretty great. I think the thing for me that we need to realize realize is that if you really do see a future with her is that you gotta take accountability for how your actions today are gonna be stopping you from having the future you want tomorrow. Because y'all are a beautiful couple. Like I just love y'all together, right? They're couple goals. What do you think it's gonna take for you to, okay, black love, there we go. I'm ready, y'all, I'm ready. Angel, do you have an ultimatum for Solo today? Yeah. Okay, what's the ultimatum?

Say it right now.

Yeah, say it right now.

What's the ultimatum? You know, I don't wanna lose you. You know, again, we both feel that we have, we just stumbled into each other's life. I love you, I respect you. But for me to be the woman that you really want and like you always say like, oh, I want people to come and go outta my life. I don't wanna be that. And so I have been there where 10 or 15 years later I'm like, Dang, I wish I would have did this. You haven't did that yet. And so if we keep going the way we're going as far as the finances, I'm not going to feel safe and secure financially with us moving out of my penthouse, getting another house, and getting married when you're dishing out this money. We can't know where we're going, where we're investing in. And so we haven't really talked about what's going to happen if, you know, you don't stop doing that. But for me, I feel like I'm not going to be able to be with you. I'm not— I'm not— I don't want to say that, but I'm just saying, like, I did that before, then I have to leave that person because that's still bothering me and I don't want that to happen, but I'm not doing it. Most definitely.

She's, I mean, I mean it's the communication, like I said between y'all, I believe is really great. Now I can also tell you're an attentive listener, which I appreciate. She's just telling you that she wants to feel secure and right now the fact that you're giving away money is not making her feel secure for the future. I don't think it let make any of us feel secure. I don't care how much money you make. I know that you have a thriving business. I can see why you have a thriving business. But I also think that you're mature enough and strong enough to realize that you do want a better tomorrow. Would the young boy who had to take care of his mom, could he have imagined the life he has today with this beautiful woman and having a business? Mm-hmm. Couldn't have. Couldn't have. Why couldn't he have imagined that?

Honestly, I didn't think I was gonna live this long. Exactly.

So yeah. So I say that to say, because I already, I know this, when you have a childhood where you don't even know if you're gonna live that long, if you don't know what's going to happen, it does rewire your brain into where everything's about the media because what's tomorrow? I don't know if tomorrow's there. And even though you're mature and you've gotten out of it, you also still work in a position that is to some degree dangerous. You're protecting people, which means you're always having to put yourself in front of somebody else to be protected, which again triggers that little boy who says, well, what about tomorrow? So let me help who I can help today. But what you have to start practicing as the man you are today is to say, even though I'm in this position where I protect other people, I must protect myself and I must protect my woman because we do have a future. You have to actually actively wake up and say, to yourself, I see myself at 90 years old. Have you ever said that to yourself? Like, I see myself at 90? No. Yeah, I can believe it. I wanna know, it's like a weird conversation because you're working towards it, but there's also trauma from your past that you have to acknowledge and realize it's playing as a symptom in your relationship now of why you're giving out money. Right. You gotta start to wake up to yourself and say, I see a future with you and I see me when I'm 90 years old. That is your mantra. You're gonna be like, well, hold up, I'm giving you money. I need that for when I'm 90. I need that for when— Oh God. You feel what I'm saying? You start to realize, plus she's telling you that she can't handle a future that makes her feel unstable, unsafe. Yeah. You gotta make her feel safe. You already do. You do it for everybody else. Right. Yeah. So make her feel safe. So what's the mantra you're gonna say to yourself every morning?

I wanna see myself at 99 years old.

Boom. Oh, 99. Oh, 99, yeah.

That's good. You're a good woman.

There's not a doubt about it, but it is time, definitely. You made a big leap right now, even by saying I see myself at 99, because you're just starting to rewire your mind to understand that you don't have to live for today. You can live for tomorrow and the future. And so that's gonna stop you from giving that money, all right? But I do tell y'all, this kids stuff gonna come back up, so y'all better start talking about that somewhere else. Most definitely. Oh, see, see, so y'all, most definitely. You better get ready, girl. I don't know what you wanna, I don't know what's going on. You better get ready. I know he taking you to the moon, But he want a baby, okay? So get your mindset prepared. Okay. Listen, I'm telling you. We'll see.

He do what he needs to do.

He gonna do it. I have faith. He gonna do it. You got faith? I got faith. He gonna do it.

Well, I guess we having a baby then. Oh! Turn up, turn up. Hold on.

Where you going? I'll tell you where you're going. Right here to subscribe and right here to watch more. Period.