Son Gives Mom Ultimatum, It's Me Or Your New Spouse | Karamo Reacts | KARAMO

Girl, what you mean? Both of y'all don't need me. I don't need you, honey. Then go, boo. I'm not fucking with you.

Stop being disbelieving.

I don't need you.

When people don't know how to communicate, y'all see my face? Can y'all go back and pause? I'm like this.

So please tell me what started the fight between you two a couple of weeks ago.

Okay, so I was working an overnight shift. I do security.

Okay.

So I was coming in the house and my mom just said something about me putting gas in the car. And I was like, you know, I don't have the money right now. I'm gonna put it in there.

Okay.

So she just got like a fighting match and I had hair. I cut my hair off. She pulled my hair and we just like, I tried to get her off.

His hair is pretty.

I'm not finna let you hit me. Like I'm grown now. You can't just like, I'm not a child.

So she just pulled out the blue and just started pulling your hair because you didn't put your shoes on?

We was yelling at each other. We was yelling and we was arguing, but it's like she was just doing too much per usual.

Not per usual. I mean a mother-son toxic relationship. It already tells me like, okay, what's going on?

What did your mom expose you to when you moved in with her at 12?

Just a lot of different people. Like just when we moved into our apartment, it was just like she was partying every day. It was people over there playing cards, yelling, then it'll turn to a fight 'cause it's so serious. It's just too much all the time.

And my producer told me that when your grandmother passed, which I'm very sorry about, your relationship changed with your mom.

Yeah, it's like, we became distant. It may have to be the mom, but I feel like she didn't do that at all.

Got it, got it.

And so you were craving her to be more serious?

Yeah, of course.

So mom was a young, having fun, grandma was the one who was in control, and then all of a sudden grandma passes and mom doesn't step up in his son's eyes.

Got it, understand.

Every time I try to talk to her, it's always, I'm right, you're wrong. Mom told me yesterday, like, She threw her life away from me.

Not I threw my life away for you. And now momma back to say something about I did. Yeah, like, so what? Girl, I can already see this is about to be toxic.

How did your mom react when you let her into your life about your sexuality?

It wasn't hard to know, you know? So when she kept asking me about it, I kept saying no because I just didn't want to, I wasn't comfortable saying it yet. I wasn't comfortable being, open about things like that.

Which you get the choice to.

You can tell her when you want.

So when I finally came out, it was just like she gave me a little hell about it. She was like, "That's not right." But I'm like, "You're gay." She gay?

How you gonna give him hell and you gay? What in the confusion is going on here?

Younger, she identified as a lesbian?

Yes.

And then she stopped because she felt like that was gonna influence you. Okay, and then is she now in a relationship with a man?

No, she's married to a woman.

Got it, okay.

Tell me how it was when she got married.

In a week, she got married.

She got married in a week?

Yeah.

She got married in a week? Okay, mama's behavior is erratic.

Mm, she met her partner.

Mm, this is judgment on my face. Mm, that's how you know I'm judging you. Mm.

Do you like Kenya? Do you think your mom deserves better?

I think Mom deserves better. I'm not too fond of King, you know.

My producer said that you think that she has toxic traits.

Oh, yes.

They're right here.

That she displays?

They're right here.

Come on, people love bringing out receipts, and I don't mind looking at them.

Yes.

I love a receipt.

So I love a good receipt too.

Yes.

So my toxic traits is I feel like King is a user.

OK.

I feel like she's alcoholic, manipulative, a narcissist, and verbally abusive.

Wow.

Yes.

Oh, okay.

She said, "Give me some computer paper so I can write this list down. I need y'all to know what I think about Kenya. She's this, this, this, this, that." So what do you want to tell your mom? And the mom went back to tell her, "Mm-hmm." Again, she's not trying to like—

Mom is like the best in the world. She can be.

Yeah.

She just doesn't do that.

My producers are telling me that you want an ultimatum, that either your mom today has to choose you and build a relationship with you or choose Kenya. And if she choose Kenya, you're walking away.

Ultimatum for her mother. Interesting. And then the momma talking about peace out.

Girl, what is the momma doing backstage?

You can just listen. You ain't have to act out. She looks great though, that outfit.

Your ass is grown. You 21. You a big-ass baby. Your grandma did that to you. And yes, I gave her my whole life for you. I was 17 when I had you.

That's your fault.

I was 17 when I had you.

I didn't ask to have you.

I didn't ask to have you.

To do.

To make sure you was good.

You ain't never lacked nothing. You ain't never lacked nothing in your whole life. Just 'cause you gave me everything, that doesn't mean— I gave you my life. You didn't give me your life. I gave you my life. I gave you everything. I gave you everything.

Mama is dramatic.

Clearly you ain't Mr. Meal.

Not Mr. Meal. Y'all see that face? That's me trying to, I can't even track all the toxic things that I just heard. Do you get into fights like this often?

All the time.

All the time. And what do the fights usually come from?

Is it just—

His mouth.

His mouth.

I'm sure it comes from your mouth as well.

How could I mind my business when your business is in front of me?

Oh.

Because you're in my house.

Okay, but I'm in your house. So if I wasn't there—

Most 21-year-olds be in college. Most 21-year-olds be in college. You can tell y'all have to leave. 21-year-olds go to college.

All right.

What happened during the last fight you two had?

He tried to kill me.

He tried to kill you?

Kill your mama?

This is—

Not like kill, kill.

Okay.

And what he does is he punches at my knees.

You punch your mama knees?

And I need to get you off of me and you're my mom and I can't, I'm not gonna physically like do my mom. So I hit her weak spot to get her off of me. So what you mean?

I cannot imagine putting my hands on my mother.

I had him at 17. My mom kind of like stepped in and kind of like, you know, did her big one with him. I'm not gonna even lie. She did her thing with raising him, but she spoiled him. He's selfish. He's selfish. The only person you think about is yourself.

Mom, no, if I didn't think, if I thought about myself, I wouldn't care about you.

Loyal child.

Okay.

It's so weird because one moment she acts like that's her friend and the next moment she wants to be the authority and act like she's mom.

This ain't got nothing to do with me.

Okay.

This about you. 'Cause if you cared about me, you wouldn't make me choose between you and my wife. If you cared about me, we wouldn't be here.

I'm not mad at her saying that she shouldn't have to choose between her child and her wife.

Does he get along with your wife?

No, he don't, no.

Why do you think?

How's that affect you?

Because they just alike. They don't care about nobody but themselves.

Do you feel like you're forced to be in the middle?

I am in the middle.

How's that affect you?

I don't wanna hurt neither one of them, so I hurt myself. By sticking around. I don't wanna hurt him. Like I said, I gave him my life.

What do you mean by that you gave him your life?

Yes, girl, clarify.

What do you mean by that?

I stopped doing everything for me until he was 18. And then when he turned 18, he gonna ask me, "Oh, so you not my, are you tired of being my mom?

Just let me know if you tired of being my mom." Yeah, I'm tired.

I've been doing this my whole life.

So how do you think that, "Are you tired of being my mom?" That stuff like that, that hurt. You can't say that and I already feel a type of way. Like, you can't say you tired of being my mom and I already—

Why did you ask?

Everybody needs to understand this. Kids ask things to their parents because they want confirmation, they want security, they wanna understand that you're there for them. So when they ask you a question, they're not actually mature enough to hear your honest answer. You go ahead and just tell them, "Yes baby, I love you," and keep it pushing.

If I would've had you at 30, I probably still would've knew what I was doing, but from 17? 'til you turn 18 and now I get to live a little bit and you ain't—

You got a problem with that?

You can't say— You cannot sit here and say to Mr. Karamo—

It's so funny when people call me Mr. Karamo. I'm like, I'm y'all same age. Stop calling me Mr. Karamo. Y'all call me Uncle Karamo or something. Call me, I don't know, just Big Brother Karamo, I don't know. Maybe like Mr. Karamo. We the same age, girl. I'm 40.

What do you think about the list that he made about your wife?

He said—

Was I lying?

He said that he thinks your wife is a user and alcoholic, manipulative narcissist, verbally abusive.

And these have come from her.

Do you believe that?

Yes.

Oh, don't confirm that the list he brought out is correct.

Okay, well that silence tells me a lot. Your wife Kenya is in the audience today. Kenya, can you please stand?

Hey, wife. Kenya look like she about to whoop somebody ass, okay?

Kenya, how do you feel about hearing this?

Nowhere near.

Nowhere near.

So just like I said, none of this is not true. 'Cause it's from both ends. Everybody can be a narcissist in their own way. Everything starts from home. It's been none but them doing this. So when I do speak up on something, I'm too blunt.

From your opinion, what's your relationship with Malcolm?

I ain't.

Do you like him?

Yeah.

I never said I had a problem, but when I came and started speaking up on things that I felt that was wrong in the household.

Your wife is saying you don't like him.

I didn't never say I didn't.

That mama messy. She talking about, I don't wanna be in the middle, but then being like, yeah, she don't like him. Girl, why you gonna tell your son that your wife don't like him?

That's not what you said, King. So what I say? Don't do that.

He don't wanna live with you. This is the reason why I'm getting my own apartment now because you clearly told me that he don't want me there.

So like you said.

You told me that. You clearly, you said that. —on my grandmother, you're—

When people don't know how to communicate, y'all see my face? Can y'all go back and pause? I'm like this. That's me being like, girl, what do y'all got going on? Why y'all— why do people like to stay in these relationships? Can we just be real for a second? If this is what it look like in y'all house when you communicate with your partner, it's not healthy. Go ahead and move on. You might be used to this dysfunction and think that it's normal, but it's not.

Yes, I did. I said if he don't want nobody saying something about the simplest things, he need to get his own. Y'all hear how they talking?

Y'all see that? This back and forth. I'm like, girl, what's wrong with y'all? What is wrong with y'all, girl?

I don't need you, honey. Then go, boo. I'm not stopping you from leaving. I don't need you. I'm not stopping you from leaving. Stop making it like somebody needs you, honey. I'm not stopping you from doing that. Don't do that. I'm not stopping you from leaving. Because when somebody freak on something simple—

I'm not stopping you from leaving. Check. Check, check, check. Just a message. The list is checked, baby. So not the list is checked, baby.

In the house, this will turn into something else, and I would have to step into the middle because I don't want to let my mama down. Okay, don't play.

So wait, people gotta realize how she talks and come off too.

It ain't just me.

Oh, we all saw that, just saying you, Kenya. We saw that. It's both of y'all.

You can't be tired as a mother. I'm so happy. Well, what about as a wife? You can't be tired as a mother. You can't be tired as a wife. OK, that's fine. That's fine, too. OK. So I'm tired. Everybody get tired.

I'm tired. I'm tired of taking care of everybody, and nobody takes care of me.

Oh, we got to the revelation here.

I'm the one that got to go to work. Are y'all authorized to both my knees not working Amazon delivering packages? 'Cause you won't get up and take a job anywhere.

Kenya, you ain't got a job? Kenya, you ain't got a job, girl? The tea that gets spilled on this stage, girl. We weren't even here for this.

I lost my job. What was in jail 3 days? What was in jail 3 days, girl?

I was in that jail a whole week, girl.

You was in jail 3 days? A week. A week.

I'm like, Kenya, girl, thank you, girl. Bye, girl. Girl. Sit down, girl. Just sit down, girl. Just cut her mic, girl. Just cut her mic. Just cut her mic. Thank you, Kenya, girl. We don't already heard enough. You ain't had the job more than 3 days, girl. Y'all fighting, girl. Got it. Okay, understood.

You didn't need to give an ultimatum because I'm an outsider that's watching this. You two aren't in a healthy relationship. You don't want to be in it. You just told me you moving out. You don't want to be in it. And I think for you, when you were saying no one takes care of me, the first step you can do is take care of yourself.

Yourself by ending that type of relationship.

You go tit for tat for him, which is not the healthiest response from a mother. And I wanna just encourage you to understand that you could talk to him differently. But I understand that there is a bit of spoiledness. So she is right in the fact that you do take advantage of her. And you are right in the fact that she's in an unhealthy relationship. But the fact that you are both right means that you both need to start doing the work. You need to start doing the work to figure out how to end and fix your own personal life. Because at some degree, when I heard y'all talking about, well, what do you have a man? Do you got? And y'all were going back and forth, that tit for tat y'all do. He's inadvertently picking up things from you. You need to be able to handle your situation, but also you need to adult up. Not even man up, you need to adult up. You owe your mother an apology for taking advantage of her.

And I'm sorry, Mom. You say you don't, you think I don't love you. Do the work, honey.

That's what it's about.

Do apologize and I'm gonna do, I'm gonna work on it. I promise. Work on what? I'm gonna work on not taking advantage of you and being respectful and watching what I say.

There you go. I apologize, Malcolm.

I will do better in how I'm talking to you.

Thank you. I love you. Thank you. I love you. Stay outta they relationship. Please. You need to, this is your first task outside of being responsible and growing up and doing your thing. They're toxic, I've seen it, we all seen it. But you don't need to be involved in that. Your mother has to make her own choices. This is still her partner that she chose whether you like it or not.

Thank you. Do I have faith this relationship is gonna stay like this? No, I do not because there's never been a clear boundary of mother-son. Or friends. Stay out of Kenya's— stay out of their business. That's all. That's— listen, that's the best advice Karamo gave. I guess that's me. That's the best advice. See, when I'm doing this, I always feel like that Spider-Man meme because I'm watching me and I'm watching you and I'm— we watching me. It's like the Spider-Man meme, you know what I'm talking about? So I'm like, do I talk about myself as a third person or first person? Anyway, give Kenya respect. I wish y'all the best of luck, but that was a mess. That was literally a mess, okay? We got a little bit of talking and growing in there at the end, but that was a mess. That was a mess, okay? I mean, at the end of the day, I'm almost sure that this mother has chosen her son because clearly that relationship was unhealthy, but she didn't need to make a choice and that the ultimatum shouldn't have been out there. This is just, this is, again, this was a relationship that was never established properly, so it caused so much confusion. You were 17, so you never were treating him like your son and you were never getting mutual respect. Treated like his mom. The grandma stepped in who was the authority in the household and that caused confusion. So now 18 years later, they're still confused of what their relationship is and that's what needs to be defined here. Ooh, a mess. Okay, good luck y'all. Mm-hmm.