Step Up And Take Care Of Your Daughter! | KARAMO

Our guest Kyla says her co-parenting situation is way off balance with her daughter's father. Kyla feels like she has to force him to give her money and spend time with his own daughter. Let's meet Kyla.

Hello.

Hello.

You're looking nice today.

So do you, love.

Thank you.

Kyla, this breaks my heart to hear the situation you're going through with your daughter's father.

Yeah.

So I wanna know just off the bat, what has Josh missed in your daughter's life?

Karamo, where—

You laughed. I love it. She's like, what has he missed? Where do I start? What has he missed? Yeah.

When I tell you I have been dealing with this man since 2013.

Okay.

It started off with him treating me horribly, but now it's trickling down to my daughter.

Okay.

So I'm just like, I don't know what to do.

So this is what he's missed? The 4th, 5th, and 7th birthdays?

He's missed the 4th, 5th, and 7th birthday.

And how old is your daughter now?

She's almost 8. So that's almost half her life.

Yeah, wow.

Literally almost half her life.

And Christmas, he comes, no presents was given last year at all?

No presents were given last year. I can't even remember a Christmas where he was around. There has not been one Christmas where he's been there. Maybe the first year. But that's it.

Halloween, dance recital, school awards, he's not involved in the school at all.

Let me tell you about these holidays, okay?

Okay.

She likes to share that love with other people. So she'll call him and have to hype him up. So she feels as though she has to bring the energy to him. Like, oh daddy, it's Christmas, da da da da da. And he in the bed, so she starts feeling bad for him. When really it should be the opposite. He should be getting her into the holiday spirit. But she feel like as a 7-year-old kid, She has to change him and that's not okay.

She's not seeking validation is what she's doing.

Exactly. Already.

Already. So I'm ready to bring out Josh. Josh, welcome to the show. Hold on, we haven't heard Josh's side yet. So let's, you know, we gotta still hear Josh's side.

Let's see what story he telling today.

How you doing, Josh?

I'm doing good. How you doing? Thank you for having me. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah.

See, I'd like to be fair here because we've heard one side here. So Josh, I want to hear your side of this. Is there anything that Kyla has said that you feel like is not true?

Yes, she said I moved to Orlando. I did move to Orlando eventually to chase my dream in the entertainment industry, yes.

Yeah.

The reason I left was because at some point she realized, you know what, whatever side hustle, whatever little money he's bringing in, it's not enough. She gave me an ultimatum. She said, you have until February to make X amount of money.

I said this?

Yes.

When did I say this? This is news to me, 'cause I never said that. I never gave an ultimatum ever.

I just wanna finish. Ever. I would like to finish.

Ever. But you're talking, I can't concentrate. But you talking, like you not making sense. What you saying is false. What did you even talk about? Oh my gosh, like I can't even.

We agreed that I was not, and like I said, I wanna talk about me.

February, I gave you an ultimatum, sis?

When did I give you an ultimatum?

I held you down for 2 years.

We agreed.

I held you down for 2 years.

Yes, you did. I held you down.

Oh, I'm sorry, but I held you down.

We agreed that I was not chipping in and she was holding me down. I said I need to—

I was working two jobs.

Yes, I said I need to start pushing here.

Working full-time.

And we agreed that I need to have this much money.

Okay, so, but this is the thing, this is the thing, because I can see this. There's always gonna be a miscommunication again about the money or whatever. My thing again, going back to the daughter, if you don't have the financial stuff, she's still taking the burden. She's holding it down.

All the burden, and I'm tired of it. I take all the burden.

Yes.

Every single burden.

So my question is, do you think that you're being the best parent the best father you can be to your daughter?

No.

Right.

Not as, in the last maybe 6 months, I've definitely matured as a man. I've definitely made more conscious decisions to say, you know what, these are things over the last few years that I've been terrible at.

How often do you see your daughter?

I just have my daughter for the summer. Before that, I try on holidays.

What holiday, Josh?

I said I try. I never said I was successful.

So when you come through, I never said I was successful. You know how it makes her feel that you don't be around for holidays?

I do.

Do you know how it makes her feel that she gotta give you the energy on holiday? She gotta hype you up.

How often do you talk to your daughter?

Lately, not a lot. I'm not gonna lie.

Does your daughter say that she wants to talk to you?

She does.

Does she say she wanna spend time with you?

She does.

And then what's your response to her?

My response is that what I'm out here doing, I'm trying to do for us and me and mommy cannot get along right now, so I can't do that with mommy. And as I am doing this, I hope you see the fruits of my labor.

But Josh, you've been saying that for 8 years. I have. And there's nothing. No, like there's no change.

So my producers told me that your family lives like 5 minutes away from her and you'll go visit your family, but you won't see your daughter.

But won't see, when we lived in Georgia, yes. I used to have to force him to take her.

Is that true?

I used to have to force him to take her.

There is always details in this. Where she was at next door to my apartment, I had no car. So I said, Kyla, I will watch her, but can you please just drop her off?

The only detail that I'm concerned about is your daughter.

Right?

So like I'm correct in all this stuff that's going on.

I've admitted to that. So I've admitted that she has a short energy span.

You said that everything she has said is correct.

The final result is me as a man, I have to look at myself in the mirror every day and say no matter how it happened, no matter whether it's my fault or her fault, that's that.

So my mom said that you're always on your phone instead of wanting to play with your daughter. Is that true?

No.

No, it is.

No.

It is.

This is the longest she's spent in a room with me in the last 8 years. I don't know how she would know this.

No, it is. Let's bring it back to when you came to visit Philly. And I was supposed to be in my room the whole time, and you were supposed to be downstairs with her, whatever, taking care of her.

Watching TV.

And I had to go downstairs and facilitate a game for you to even interact with her. I had to say, "Let's play Uno." You were sitting on the couch on your phone and she was sitting on the floor. And she came to me like, "Mommy, Daddy's here, but he's not spending any time with me." Once again, this is true, but this is why. He's saying shit that's true, but then walking back on his word.

My daughter was sitting down there, turned on the TV, and got stuck in YouTube. She got y'all, I know I hit her.

But she didn't.

She got stuck in YouTube.

Because you weren't interacting with her.

I did interact.

You weren't interacting with her.

That's where I'm, this was her.

Karamo, I wanna know, my producer said that you have something here that you want to present to Josh today. Is that correct?

Yes, I do.

What is it?

So Nalayah actually wrote you a letter. She wrote you a letter. And you know, I tried to get her to express everything that she was feeling, but she loves you so much that, you know, she expressed what she could. I'm gonna read it to you. She said, Daddy, I want to start off by saying I love you and I appreciate you for being my daddy. I don't want this to be emotional, so please don't take this to heart. "But to start off, I really want to talk to you more. I love to FaceTime you, but I would rather see you in person." She said, "I'm not trying to force you to do these things, but it will really make me happy. But if you call me, don't talk about this letter 'cause it will make it a little awkward. But this is the end of the letter, and I want to say I love you so, so, so, so, so much." "And I appreciate you. XOXO, Nalaiah, your sassy and pretty daughter." What do you think about that?

I wish my daughter was here. I wish my daughter was here so I could reply to that to her because like she said earlier when I was backstage, she is, for a 7, almost 8-year-old, she's extremely in tune with her emotions. She's very perceptive and aware of what's going on.

So I can hear the letter.

We have so much bad blood there's nothing I can do.

'Cause from the moment—

But you know what, I don't get y'all. Sorry to cut you off, but I have to make this point. And I want you to answer this. I want you to answer this. Matter of fact, look at me and answer this question, please. Why is it that when we're not around each other and we're communicating and I'm trying to, we're trying to communicate, trying to get to the bottom of things, it's like I'm enemy number one. But then when we're together and we're in person and you're visiting and it's like you tell me all your life, you know, we cool. You know, you come and talking to me instead of spending time with her. You know what I'm saying? And we got that, like we're cool. So why when we're not around each other, why is it like we bumping heads 24/7? Like what's the, can you explain that?

It is because—

Can you explain, like is it the way I communicate? Do you feel like I'm attacking you? Do you feel like, are you, do you automatically have a perception?

Let's stop right there. Do you feel like she's attacking you?

Yes. But right, I'm not gonna say victim. I'm not gonna say I feel like she's attacking me and I'm a victim. But based on the things that I've done, admittedly, she does bring this energy towards me.

All right, so this is the truth bomb of this all.

Yes.

I want you to get up with me. All right, so the reason I got you to get up is because I'm hearing the communication issues, but again, the only person that's most important to me is your daughter. Correct. So I have a picture of your future daughter that I want you to look at, and I want you to look at this photo and realize this is what's gonna happen to your daughter because of the issues that you're doing now.

Low self-esteem, jealousy, clinginess, attention-seeking behavior, attracting abusive partners, craving sex, attracting older men.

So I wanna ask you right now, is that the photo of your daughter that you want?

No, and that's why I spent the last, like I said, everything that she has addressed on this show, I thought I came to resolve those things.

But the thing is, is that it's not about resolving it with her. I know. This about, I need you to look at this because we all know this to be true. When there's a young woman who has a father that she's begging to say, please FaceTime me, please talk to me, please show me some love. When your daughter is writing those letters, I don't give a damn about what you two are going through. This is what your daughter's gonna happen. This is your daughter.

I don't think you get what I'm saying, Karamo.

I do get what you're saying. I get what you're saying.

You're like, I'm hearing this, I'm a third party, I don't know you.

Do you want this to be your daughter?

No.

Okay.

So when are the actions gonna start lining up?

Like when I paid my last child support payment. You don't want me to be that new person. You're stuck on the person I used to be.

I'm crazy for you to be that new person.

You don't want me to be that new person. You know I keep up with you.

You know I keep the relationship I don't cut her off from talking to you.

So I want you to tell me right now, hold on one second. What are you going to do from this point on to say, I'm gonna make sure this does not become my daughter?

Please answer that.

I have recently got a more secure job that does not have me being all over the country with crazy hours. So I have more stability, more ways to prioritize my daughter. Because if I'm on a plane and I'm gonna, and I'm in a place where the fight is happening.

Hold on, hold on, hold on a second.

I'm saying it from the past.

I'm saying it from the past. 'Cause I gotta tell you something, brother. I'm listening to you and I'm hearing you and you are riddled with a lot of excuses. And it is excuse after excuse after excuse. And part of that excuse is because you just told me earlier you feel attacked through your communication. And so you're constantly in defense mode instead of love mode. And the love that you need to be giving is for your daughter. This is what your daughter's gonna turn into. All your daughter's saying, "I need you to FaceTime me." If you call your daughter's mother and she says, "No, I'm not bringing the child," guess what? That's where you as a man say, "I'm gonna walk my ass down this road that has no pavement." I didn't do that?

I didn't do that?

Like I said.

I didn't do that?

Like I said.

I didn't do that? You did it twice. I didn't do that numerous times?

You did it twice.

Okay. I told you, stop defending, start loving your daughter. Stop defending, start loving your daughter. Your daughter right now is saying she needs you. Are you feeling me right now? Your daughter is writing letters saying she needs you. Come take a seat.

Come take a seat.

Your daughter is saying that she needs you. Your daughter says, Dad, I need you to FaceTime me. I watched you when she read that letter to you. I am a father as well. That would've crushed me. That didn't crush you. Tell me, tell me. I'm watching you.

We're all watching you. Listen, I've tried to say this. I don't know if you're doing this for ratings at this point, I've said everything.

I'm doing this for your daughter is what I'm doing this for.

Everything you've said, I've agreed with you.

Just because you're agreeing with me, I'm not asking you to have an emotional connection.

And this is my answer. You just asked, wouldn't that crush me? I have beat myself up. I've come to terms with that list. But as here in real time in front of these cameras, if y'all are here to beat me up, cool.

I'm sorry if I did not acknowledge the work you've done in the past 30 days. I'm saying that to you man to man. If you feel like you felt like attacked and that I couldn't acknowledge it, I'm sorry for that.

I don't think it was more so acknowledging, it was more so in my beef with her.

I told you already that this is not about you and her. To me, only person I care about is your daughter.

And respectfully, I feel the same.

So you tell us right now, what's the next 30 days?

Next 30 days is my daughter's, first is my daughter's 8th birthday. That is the first thing. I've communicated with her in the last 30 days. What are we going to do for this birthday?

What do you think you can do?

Talk to my daughter about it. I don't have to ask her. I can FaceTime my daughter and say, "What do you wanna do for your birthday?

What do you wanna do?" So how often do you FaceTime your daughter?

Every day.

What's the schedule you have in your mind?

Every day.

Okay.

Every single day. She wakes up and goes to school around 8 o'clock and so I can call her in the morning. I get off at 5 or 6 o'clock and I can call her in the afternoon.

Are you gonna do that and actually create a positive pattern with her?

Yes, I am.

Where she's like, "Okay, my daddy, all right, I know my daddy's about to call me. All right, I know my daddy's calling me after school." 'Cause she'd be hype and happy to talk to you.

The best thing for you all to do as co-parents is for you to clearly write down the best boundaries and the best things that you can do to be there for your daughter. You give that list to her and say, "This is what Daddy said he's going to do." But can I ask you advice on something? Sure you can.

What do you suggest that I do when it comes to the financial situation? Because like I said, I'm never gonna close the door on their relationship.

I just paid it like 30 days.

Thank you. Yeah.

You said what?

Somebody said child support. I said, "I'm on it. I just paid it last 30 days." So the next 30 days.

A long time.

A long time.

Okay.

It's a bunch of money out the door. I've admitted that.

I just caught myself. We moving forward though. So okay, let's see what the next 30 days gonna bring.

But again, it's really again about tracking the behavior. He's admitted that he hasn't paid before in the past. He's admitting and saying he's paid this last 30 days and he wants to continue from here on out. The thing is, I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt that here on out, but these things have to be set in stone. So if you need to add on a second list of saying, listen, You need to gimme a payment on the 1st. This is the amount. That way you two don't need to communicate. Both of y'all need to write it out. The most important thing is write it out for your daughter. Write out what you're gonna do. And that's for you. Write out, daughter, I'm gonna do this, this, this, this, and this.

I would take the steps to write them out first.

I would take those steps. Write it out for her and let her know and give it to her. And then that way she can say, okay, dad is hold, I'm holding dad accountable to these things.

And she would appreciate that. She would appreciate that a lot.

At the end of the day, I think that you both want the best for your daughter. I think that y'all, The communication and the anger between you two has unfortunately bled in on your part into your daughter. And I think that if you don't want your daughter to turn out to be the woman that I just showed you right there, I think you will continue to make the steps that you've already started to make. Just continue for your daughter. You hear me? I think y'all can do this. All right, listen everyone, we'll go right back after this. Hold on, where you going? I'll tell you where you're going. Right here to subscribe and right here to watch more.

Period.