Step Up! Our Daughter Needs Her Dad! | KARAMO

So tell me about your relationship with your ex Christian when you started dating.

Me and Christian met when we were in high school. I was a sophomore, he was a senior, and we didn't meet till after he graduated. We just hit it off. We found each other on Instagram and then we just started hanging out ever since. We eventually started dating. It was like 6 years we were together.

Wow, 6 years together.

Yes, sir.

You had a daughter together.

We did, yes, in 2021.

So where did things go wrong?

The whole relationship was kind of like just premature. We were, it was a lot of DV.

Oh, okay.

A lot of trust issues, cheating, stuff like that. But it didn't really take a huge turn to where I'm here now until after we had our daughter.

Got it. And was Christian involved, an involved father throughout the pregnancy?

Yeah, he was. He got me what I needed, stuff like that. And then after we broke up April of 2021, that's when he started to not be a good father.

Got it. And when did you feel Christian stopped giving you the support you needed? It was April 2021?

So he had got arrested and he was gone for a little bit. When he came back, you know, we decided, okay, you know, let's just, let's see what we can do. Let's try to co-parent. You know, we're here for the baby and that's it. It was good until it just wasn't. I mean, I guess I said something wrong or whatever. He just stopped doing what he needed to do. Got it. And I had constant reminders, picking up his slack, stuff like that.

What type of help was it that you needed?

Financial, physical, you know, I have to work too. You know, I need you to come pick her up when she needs to be picked up.

Of course.

You know, if I'm gonna work on your time, you have to work on mine as well so that we can work together and just be parents. That's all we're here for.

And I understand that you have a new boyfriend.

I do.

When did you start dating him?

I wanna say— Was there overlap? So it was the same year. No, no, it was no overlap. It was a couple months. Okay. So it was the same year. We met in May. We didn't start dating until actually on my birthday, June 21st.

Okay, so it was quick 'cause you said you two broke up in April 2021.

We did, yep.

And then May you meet him. And by June—

And we kind of already were talking. We worked in the same restaurant. We were friends, we were cool, cordial coworkers, stuff like that. But then it didn't start getting serious until around that time. And then we got together in June 2021.

Got it. How often do you talk to Christian now?

Not at all.

Not even about your daughter?

Nope.

Not at all. When was the last time you talked with Christian?

June of this year.

Wow.

So it's been a while.

And that's the last time he's seen his daughter as well.

Wow. Okay then. That's been a couple months that he's not seen his daughter.

Yeah.

Wow.

Does he ever bring that up or try to reach out to you through other people?

No.

Not at all?

Nope.

Does he still have access to you?

So he did, but after what happened in June that I made that executive decision that he could not come and see her, he has no access to me.

Okay.

Until I, you know, can, Trust him, trust his family, trust whoever. Long story short, it was his weekend. He was supposed to come and bring her back to me. He told me he was not going to, and I figured out where my daughter was. I pulled up, went to go retrieve my daughter. It got very verbal. He had a girlfriend there. She got verbal. His sister was there. She got verbal, and me and his sister got into an altercation, a physical altercation. My daughter was with me, and my daughter saw the whole thing, and because of that, I told Christian, you're done. I'm not sure what else you want me to do. I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing as a mother to protect my daughter and what she sees, 'cause she doesn't see this at home, but just me.

Got it. All right, well everyone, Christian's girlfriend Tenaya is here in the audience, so I wanna speak to her. Hi, Tenaya.

Hi.

How you doing? So were you there the day that this altercation happened?

Yes.

And what was it like from your perspective?

From your point of view?

Chaotic.

Okay.

It was chaotic to me. It's just, she was, it's just a lot of aggression coming from her end. When Christian gave her the time when we're gonna drop her off and everything, she just had a rebuttal.

That's it. Who was we? You and Christian?

Yeah, you and Christian.

Oh, okay. No, you, you said we. So you and Christian set stuff together? I'm just asking.

No, you set stuff up with Christian, but me and him is we, but yeah.

Oh, okay. That's what I wanted. That's it. Okay.

Yeah.

Do you feel when Asia calls Christian a deadbeat that he actually is one?

No.

Yeah.

No, he's far from a deadbeat.

That sounds about right.

Okay. You don't think so?

That you think he's not a deadbeat?

So that day when the fight, you said you were there and you feel like because she was upset about the fact that y'all had missed the time or didn't do the time she had requested, that that's why she got angry?

No, she just wanted stuff her way.

No, no. She just wanted stuff her way. What you don't know is that My baby was not supposed to be over at his mother's house, and me and Christian made a verbal agreement. As parents, 'cause you're not our parent, you're not with us, so you have no say so really, but you're here, so that's fine. But what I'm saying is, is that we had an agreement, and so when he went back on that agreement, that's why I'm mad, 'cause my daughter was involved. It had nothing to do with you, so that's why I'm aggressive, that's why I'm mad. So if you have anything else to say about that, then me and you can talk about that.

I just feel like you keep saying your daughter was involved.

She was.

Was she not there?

So listen, yeah, like you said, she was there. I feel like since you say your daughter was involved, you should have went about it differently. You pulled up with a whole different other person.

My boyfriend. Yeah, your boyfriend. My fiancé, actually.

Yeah, whatever. Fiancé, boyfriend. Yeah, I feel like you just didn't care about none of that because you came.

I'm a mother. I'm a mother, baby.

Doing too much. You all yelling.

Yeah, yeah, because what did Christian do?

Christian ordered his little sister to put his hands on me.

No, for real. Christian said you're his friend. You arguing for somebody because you're his friend. That's what he said.

That's what he said.

Talk to your man.

Talk to your man. I think the person that we have to talk to here is—

Christian.

Yeah, is Christian.

I done did some shit, you feel me?

Yes.

And I admit that shit, but it's all about moving forward. And her explanation's valid, you feel me? We done disagreed on a whole bunch of other shit. But it's all about moving forward, and that's something I wanna do.

All this behavior's new, so this is just, that's why I'm on such a shock right now.

That's cool, but he's trying to tell you right now, so.

That's cool, but—

I just, I don't, okay.

Listen, I don't need you to believe me. I'm telling you this shit straight up. We ain't even have to come on TV to do this shit, huh?

I knew that was coming.

How the fuck I'm supposed to tell you I moved on?

'Cause I blocked you.

Well, you done changed your shit.

'Cause I blocked you, yeah.

And that's cool.

And why did I do it?

But you ain't give me the opportunity to.

But why did I do it?

'Cause I'm tired of hearing that.

I'm not speaking on the past, bro.

I'm not going, okay.

I'm not speaking on the past.

'Cause we could yell, I could scream and yell at him all day.

Have you tried to see your daughter?

I have.

And what happened?

I've been, like I said, like she just told you right here, she blocked me.

Okay.

I haven't had contact with my daughter since June.

Yep.

Got it. Would you like to be more involved in your daughter's life?

Oh yeah, I wanna do this co-parent thing, bro. That's it.

Okay, so if you wanna do the co-parent thing, then why do you make it your business? Why do you make it your goal to ruin my life, Christian? Christian, you know I— Christian, listen, I'm sorry.

No, no, no, I don't wanna, no.

No, that's cool.

No, no, no, no, no. You apologize, that's fine. That's fine, and I've always forgiven you for—

Christian don't allow me to argue, go ahead.

That's fine, I forgave you for all the stuff that you have done, Christian. My thing is, is that every time that you do something to me, don't I always let you come back and be a father? I've never taken your father rights from you, right?

But then what do you do after that? You mess with me again, you call jobs, you call CPS, called CPS on me and said I abused my daughter. And then when I can't even get a job because of you, but then you expect me to just, oh, let you every time you come back and be a dad? How am I supposed to take care of her? How am I supposed to take care of her? You don't do anything. You don't do anything. No, you don't feel my pain. No, you don't.

You don't feel my pain.

I'm not calling CPS on you. I'm not calling your jobs, getting you fired. Am I doing that?

I did all that.

Am I doing that to you though?

I did all of that.

See, that's what I'm saying.

That's what I'm saying. Responsibility, but he thinks it's a joke. CPS is a joke?

So you admit that you were being spiteful to her?

Bro, I wasn't, bro. On God, I wasn't, bro.

You used the word spiteful.

Why were you being spiteful to her?

I had so much hate for her, bro.

I did. 'Cause I broke up with him. Listen, I don't know y'all, so the only thing I can do is go off what you're saying now is to change where you want to go. So if this is who you are right now, I'm gonna believe it. I know you don't have to, and I'm not gonna ask you to ask it because you had a history with him.

Of course.

You understand the grievance of calling Child Protective Services.

It's on my record, Karamo.

It's on my record. And he don't care.

I do care.

And I'm supposed to be taking care— How am I gonna take care of our daughter if you got CPS? It's on my record that I abuse— You're not even around to see abuse. What abuse have you seen on Riley? You're not even around. And you lying.

I did lie.

You lying. And he thinks this is so nonchalant about it.

No, I'm not taking this as a joke. I'll tell all y'all the truth. I done did some shit, bro.

So tell me more about, you did that because you were feeling hurt?

Yeah.

You were feeling, and you felt like you wanted to hurt her?

I've never done that to him.

I did.

No matter what he's done to me.

I know.

No matter what he has done, he's done some terrible things to me, and I have never fucked with his future like that, ever.

During that time when you were like doing these things, did you still have feelings for her?

I did.

That you didn't process, okay.

I ain't gonna lie, I ain't know how to process my emotions, you feel me? I loved this girl at one point in my life. And then she moved on so fast. That hurt me, bro. I ain't gonna lie.

I hear you. I feel so bad for the things you're experiencing and the things you did. And I understand how those actions when he was being spiteful have affected you in dramatic ways.

Still to this day.

I get it. But I also do have a bit of empathy for you for not being able to process your emotions. And you made bad choices. You know that.

I did, bro.

Yeah, I get it. I hear you. Did you know this? You never heard any of this? Yeah. The person you with, the person you're talking to right now, say like he did these things, he was spiteful to her, does this make more sense of her aggression?

Hmm?

It's just like, damn, I wish I could have known this.

Yeah.

'Cause as far as I know from my side, I just know that she just angry.

And that's why I understand why I said I don't know her, I don't know her at all, but I know that he's sharing a story with her that is not true.

Do you think she's a good mom?

Yeah, she do everything she need to do. I would tell anybody that in this world, bro.

Yeah. Have you ever heard him say that?

Yeah, I've heard him say that.

Bro, I'm grateful she my child's mother, bro. I ain't gonna lie. She do everything she supposed to.

Do you think your daughter's well taken care of?

Yeah, I do.

You do? You do?

I still love you a little bit, bro. You gave me a daughter. Ain't nobody on this world did that except you. And I did outta revenge, bro, and outta hate.

Yeah.

And I regret that, bro. I wish I could take that back, but I can't. It's over.

Yeah, and it's not over for you. I get it. That's why you are like still in the pain because you like, he's trying to grow, but for you it's like still over here.

I'm saying it's over, but it's like when it comes down to it, it's not.

You're right.

And every time I give you the opportunity to be a dad, you be a dad, but then you have to fuck with me too. Yeah, you're right. So I don't understand why that correlates. Just be a dad. Leave me alone.

No, you're right.

Christian, what do you feel like you need to be a successful co-parent?

I mean, we just need to have conversation. I'm trying to heal myself. I'm working on that.

Are you upset that she's in a new relationship still?

Nah, I was at a point, but I done moved past that. Bro, I'm happy somebody else can treat her better than the way I did. You feel me?

Okay.

Yeah, me too. Me too. Me too. Got it.

Yep. I gotta tell you, I know my heart is really appreciating that you're trying in this moment, and I believe that you're on a journey. You're on this journey right now.

It's time, bro.

You trying, I believe it. And you, you're 25 years old, right? Context, I think it's important. You 23?

Yes, sir.

Yeah, this is a lot. Well everyone, let's meet your boyfriend, Eric. Please everyone, welcome Eric to the show. Are you concerned about Christian trying to get back with her? Yeah, right. Okay. Man, she got a man now.

Are you kidding me?

He not lying, he not lying. He not lying.

I appreciate you coming out here and I'm glad y'all two are together, but I really want what's best for your daughter. And I know you have your feelings the same way she was in her feelings about the story been told. And I know you've been sitting here firsthand seeing the pain she's experienced. So of course you're gonna be angry towards him. And I understand that. Eric, you're a father of two, right? That's what you just told me.

Correct.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

How do you co-parent? It's easy. She asks me for money, she gets it.

I don't have problems with being able to see my kids.

I could call 'em right now and pick 'em up. I understand. Why are you emotional right now?

You know, you talk about my daughter and co-parenting and I just really, I need help and it's just hard.

It's really, really hard to do everything by myself and she needs her dad and I don't want the drama. I don't give his life drama. It's him and I just—

Can you commit to not giving her life drama?

I don't wanna give her drama no more, bro.

Yeah.

I don't.

Yeah.

But it's like, I hear him, I do. I hear what he's saying. I do.

And just like what Eric said, yeah, I used to be a manipulator. That's cool, bro. And I disrespected him too.

Yeah. Do you feel like you owe him an apology?

I do.

You wanna say it to him?

I'm sorry for disrespecting you, bro. I appreciate you. No, no, no, hold on. I'm not done yet, bro. I'm not done yet. I appreciate you. I appreciate you stepping up when I was being a dick for my daughter life. I appreciate that, bro. Man to man, bro, I'm sorry, bro. I respect you, bro, 'cause you picked up the pieces when I was fucking up.

[APPLAUSE] Thank you for doing that. I'm not expecting you to be in a space because you're in a space right now where you still are dealing with repercussions. You're dealing with this. It's been a long time.

I'm still just angry. Yeah, I'm just angry and it's like—

I know. And it's gonna take time for that anger turn back into trust. And that's what it is.

That's exactly what it is, trust. I need to be able to trust what Christian says, trust that he's gonna come when he's supposed to, trust that I can trust him alone with my daughter and he won't be, they won't be somewhere where we agreed she was not supposed to be. I just want to be able to trust him as a father.

I will tell you this though, what Christian has exhibited is the first steps to rebuilding that trust. Taking accountability by apologizing to your man, by apologizing to you, By not, he hasn't, you haven't been defensive yet on this stage.

He has not. I got nothing to defend, bro.

Yeah, yeah. He's, the steps are there. Co-parenting is gonna take some time. Yeah. And I would say for you, since he's in this space, write out exactly what it is that you're hoping.

Yeah.

Send it to him and say, these are the things that I'm hoping for that we can do.

Yeah.

Let him agree, let him put his input in. And now you have it written out that we agreed to do. This. That way now if there's ever, ever the partners involved, it's like this is what we agreed to. So now everyone's aware.

Yeah.

And now allow that to be what he uses to show you his actions so that you can start trusting him again.

Accountability.

The accountability.

Yes.

And I actually think you're in a space to receive that and to work with her. Are you?

I just want my daughter to see love, bro.

Good. A lot of the work that I would've helped y'all did, you've come here and already did it on your own.

Mm-hmm.

And I appreciate that. And so I, I appreciate you getting an apology. I appreciate you getting more information and I appreciate you being cleared and vindicated. Do the list. Let him co-parent with it. And I really do wish y'all the best of luck. I sincerely do.

Thank you.

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