Stop Gaslighting Me And Unlock Your Phone! | KARAMO

Quandra sees her sister Deirdre drowning in a bad relationship with her fiancé, Jamar. She believes he is a cheating, manipulative liar. Take a look at this.

Karamo, I sent my sister to your show because I heard that you unlock phones and I don't want her to marry my so-called brother-in-law. Like, my sister don't need to marry him. He's no good. It been a time that I had to kick him out his own house 'cause he tried to come back in like 5, 6 o'clock in the morning while I stayed there all night while my sister cried herself to sleep. We not doing that. I don't want her to be with him. And yeah, I know she love him, but I can't allow my sister to go down that hill. So Karamo, please unlock this man phone and get into it and let my sister know the real who he is because he's not the one for her.

All right, I think it's time to talk to Deirdre about her relationship with Jamar. Everyone please welcome Deirdre to the show.

How are you doing?

Good, how are you?

I'm good, nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Okay, so Deirdre, tell me please, why don't you trust your fiancé?

For one, I don't trust my fiancé because I've caught him on numerous occasions texting other women. Most recently, I do Uber because I like to make extra money on the side. There was an instance where I needed him to use his phone to text the customer that we was outside to get the order. Two weeks later, I find out him and the customer still texting. And then when I approached him about it, I'm like, "Why is you still texting her? Like, what's up with that?" He telling me, "Oh, she a good person. She a nurse." Like, so obviously y'all been having deep conversations. How do you know what her occupation is? Like, it's just constant, constant things. Like, I'm tired of going through his phone, seeing different things. Cash App, he sending bitch, excuse me, sending people money. Different things. Like, something gotta give.

So how long have y'all been together?

I've been together with Jamar for 4 years and I've known him for about 20 years. So we was friends for the most part. So I would think like somebody knowing me from 2004 being my friend, like I wouldn't expect this from them.

Mm-hmm. But 4 years y'all been together now?

4 years, yes.

Wow. Do y'all have children together?

We have one together.

And you're engaged or married or?

We're engaged. We've been engaged for about 3 years, but I don't see it going past that.

Yeah. So there's a long relationship here that you have together.

Yes.

There's engagement, there's a child here. But why don't you see it going past that?

I don't see it going past that because I can't get, I'm not satisfied with the answers that I'm getting. Like I need clarification. I can't go forward thinking that the person that I'm with is with other women. Like I can't do that.

So do you think that these females that he's texting are just friends?

No, I don't think they're just friends. I've found explicit text messages in his phone. So no, I don't think they're just friends.

So what does he say when you confront him about the other women?

His basic, his is like, oh, Oh no, I just be talking to them. It's like, you know, I like to make people feel good. So if somebody hit me up and they be like, oh, and I feel like they need a shoulder to cry on, like he's basically like making them feel good about themselves. Like it's nothing else. It's just none of that.

Does he realize how much this upsets you?

He know how much it upsets me. Like I'm vocal with it. He don't say nothing about it. He say like, oh, it's your fault because you pushed me there. You blame, he blames it on me. I'm always the blame.

Do you wanna continue this relationship with him?

Honestly, yes, I do wanna continue the relationship because we have a daughter. Like I said, I've known Jamar for 20-some-odd years. I do wanna continue a relationship with him. I just want clarity. I'm tired of being the unwilling passenger in this relationship. I wanna know what's going on.

So what happened between Jamar and your sister?

Jamar and my sister, they always have it out. But one particular day, he comes in the house. He told me, he left out at 8 o'clock. He said, I'll be back in around 12. I'm just going out with my cousin real quick. I'm like, okay. So I called my sister like, you know what, I'm stressed out because I found different text messages when he left. He was texting somebody from TextNow. So she came over, she's like, I'm tired of this shit. So she came over and I'm just crying. So I go to sleep, it's like 6 o'clock in the morning, he banging at the door. They get into a little scuffle because she don't wanna let him in. And he like, well let me in, I live here. She like, no, we not doing this. So that's just one of the many instances where they got into it.

And you asked me to, you're here because you want me to unlock his phone.

I want you to unlock his phone. Because if anybody can unlock his phone, you can unlock his phone. Get into the phone, go through the social media, go through the TextNow, See what's in there.

Okay. Well, listen, you asked me to unlock his phone, but as always, I want to hear his side of the story. So everyone, please welcome Jamar to the show.

Jamar, how you doing, man? I'm all right. Good, good, good.

So I'm gonna ask you point blank, Jamar, have you cheated on Deirdre?

Nope, not once. Never made a reservation, never crossed my mind, never once in this relationship.

So you just be texting?

I don't even be texting. Be together 100% of the time. When do I have time?

So what happened with the Uber girl when you was texting her?

She text me back and she was asking me like she was new to the city or something. She from, I think like Guyana or something.

Okay, so when I confronted you about it, you got mad at me and you told me, oh, she a nurse.

Because you assumed.

It don't matter. So y'all was talking about—

You made a false accusation.

Why are y'all having conversations? We doing work. Why are y'all having conversations? We're doing work. You're not out there to be socializing with customers. Like if she just moved into town, you're not a tour guide. Like what are you talking to her about? I don't understand. Like what's she gonna get from you?

Do you hide your phone from her?

Not at all.

Yes, you do.

Not at all.

So where is it? Okay.

Why does she say that you try to hide her phone if you're saying no? Why does she feel this way?

I don't know. My phone has the simplest passcode on it so she could get in it and so my kids don't be trying to go in it. And lock my phone.

Okay, so what about TextNow?

I don't have a TextNow.

Did we not get into it because you were sexting another female?

No.

See, we didn't get into it with a female because you were sexting a female. Told you, you ain't have no kids, you wasn't in no relationship or nothing. We didn't get into it about that. And what did you tell me? You said, oh, I met her when I was walking down the street, when I went to the store.

Sometimes you be aggravating and you could absolutely drive me away. You could drive me to that point.

So I drive you to a point where you feel like—

It's very stressful.

So hold on, so how do you drive—

His life is so stressful that I drive him to a point where you gotta text bitches, like.

Yeah, I need a peace of mind sometimes. I be needing, you know what I'm saying?

Your home is your peace of mind. Your daughter is your peace of mind. Like you don't need no other females, not your peace of mind. That's not peace of mind to me.

That's not peace of mind.

How do your arguments usually go from your perspective?

They go horrible. She has a very colorful imagination.

No, I'm smart, I'm smart. I don't have no colorful imagination, I'm smart.

So what's in your opinion this imagination you think she has?

She's just insecure.

Why am I insecure? You give me a reason to be insecure.

You gotta look inward.

No, no, it's not looking inward. It's not looking inward. It's not like I pulled shit out the sky.

I never did anything to lead you to believe that I was cheating on you.

You was texting people. You was texting different people. You met up with your ex. You told me you went to the hotel with your ex. But you wanna sit here and act like none of that happened. Like we never had none of these conversations. Like how are we supposed to come to a resolution?

But did you go to a hotel with another woman?

I didn't go to a, I went, I delivered something to a hotel.

With your ex, where your ex was?

Yes.

So you delivered something to a hotel where your ex was staying?

Yes.

What did you deliver?

That don't make sense. That don't make sense.

What did you deliver?

He delivered food. So I guess he was working off the clock.

So you delivered food off the clock To his ex. To your ex.

And I was compensated for it. Oh no. A big family to take care of.

But he was sending her money on Cash App too.

How recently did he send her money on Cash App?

Literally like 3 months ago. He talking about, oh, she needed to pay a phone bill.

A year ago.

3 months ago.

She asked me for money for her phone bill and she said she would overcompensate me once she repaid it.

You said you were compensated very well with your ex when you dropped off the phone bill.

I would love to know how much you was compensated.

With money, for sure.

Nah, I don't believe it. You told me that you wanted to sleep with her. You admitted that to me. You said, "I wanna sleep." That's how transparent I am.

I would never—

But okay, so if you're transparent, then I support it.

She never had to go dig up or do no kind of investigation.

No, you didn't offer any of this information.

I told her, "You stressing me out to the point where I had to just ask you straight out." Could you just be honest right now?

Could you just be completely honest?

She said she found out after the fact. You're saying I told her upfront.

You didn't tell me upfront. So you gonna sit here in front of all these people and just tell a lie for whatever reason?

She saw my Cash App. That was it.

I saw Cash App and the messages.

Do you think texting your ex is crossing the line?

No.

It's absolutely crossing the line.

Do you think texting a woman who you work with on Uber that you should have just had a one-time transaction with, do you think it's inappropriate that you continue to text her? Do you think that's crossing the line?

It depend on what we was talking about. We wasn't making no reservations.

It don't depend on what you were talking about.

It don't depend. So I have unlocked the phone so that you can see what's in there. If you see in this phone that he has been talking to other women, what are you prepared to do?

If I see in this phone that you've been talking to other women and everything that I've been suspecting is accurate, then like the relationship, it gotta be done because like you've been gaslighting me for 4 years, like 4 straight years. Telling me that everything—

No, I'm getting gaslighted.

No, you're not getting gaslighted. Whatever is in his phone, if it's in his phone— My phone is squeaky clean. Your phone is squeaky clean? Then you cleaned it before we came here and then you still don't owe him no apology.

He cleaned it before he came here. How am I going to go through that phone?

Because I know what I seen.

Well, I think it's time to unlock the phone and see, Jamar, what you been up to. So you asked us to unlock his phone and so we went through text messages, photos, apps to see those main areas which were your requests.

Okay.

All right. When it came to text messages, we found zero suspicious texts. When it came.

That's a new phone.

When we came to apps, we found zero suspicious apps. But I will.

He just got this phone.

Literally.

Like, I will tell you this. This phone was tampered with.

It has to be.

So it's too good to be true.

It has to be. No, it's not true.

No, no, no, no, no, no. Because this is the thing.

Go ahead.

It's one thing for us to say you didn't find anything, But my team, we can see when a phone has been tampered with.

Exactly.

And so once tampered with, we can't get the information through the phone.

But you see that it was there?

We can see that it's there.

Okay, could you just come clean with it then? Like, could you just come clean with it?

Now I will tell you this. One of my producers did say that you flirted with them before we came out here.

I know you, excuse me, I know you lying. I know you lying.

You can't dispute this.

I know you lying.

We have my producer here. We have my producer. I know you saw it. We saw it. You did?

That was a lie.

You're gonna tell me that my producer who's a stranger to you who has not been with you is just lying flat out.

Everybody always lying on you, right? 'Cause you just keep, like, Jamar, I'm begging you, like, like—

She's begging you to be honest right now.

I'm begging you right now, like, like—

I was asleep backstage.

Don't let me keep looking stupid. Like, tell me, I'm asking you.

You want me to be honest?

I want you to be honest.

You're annoying.

Okay, I'm annoying, and then what? I'm annoying, okay, so now what?

Like all this chaotic and all this confrontation shit.

Because I catch you doing stuff.

No.

Okay.

'Cause you accuse and just assume stuff all the time.

Get to the confession.

You insinuate stuff.

Please get to the confession. 'Cause like I've been waiting like 4 years to it.

Yes, heck yeah.

Heck yeah what?

I'll be feeling like I could find peace in another situation. Heck yeah what? So yes, like that pushes me away from you a little bit.

Okay, so.

Do I love you? Do I wanna be with you? Absolutely. But could I do it with all the extra bickering and throwing stones?

So are you cheating with other women and all this other stuff?

No.

So you texting her?

No, I'm not. Am I making reservations? Am I leaving them doors open? Yeah, you annoying, man.

Jamar, if you feel like the woman you're with is not giving you what you think that you deserve, why are you staying then?

'Cause I love her. I don't want my daughter to grow up in a broken home.

There's so much mistrust in this relationship. And this is for me, you already saw that there was mistrust when he was with other people. And you believed that he could do something different with you. Different with me. That you're seeing now that he can't do.

Why can't we go back to how it was in the beginning? Everything was good, everything was spicy, everything was like, it was like a honeymoon stage. Like, why can't we go back to that?

Deirdre, Deirdre, talk to me. You have blinders on.

I don't know what's going on. Like, I just want clarification.

I'm telling you right now, the fact of the matter is he damaged his phone so I couldn't unlock it. The fact of the matter is, is that you've seen messages on your phone, no matter if he tries to gaslight you or not, You've seen them with your own eyes. Listen, I would love to save this relationship and I'm not telling you that you gotta end it, but I'm saying to you, you have to take the blinders off and start trusting yourself.

I want him to love me too. Like, yeah, I love myself, but I want him to love me too. Like, I just want clarification. I don't feel like I really got clarification. I don't feel like he really told me anything.

He told you that he leaves the door open.

She asks questions, she get the correct answer. The ugly truth, all that.

But it shouldn't even be ugly truth.

Like, if it— I do all that. I do everything in the house.

Okay, but you're supposed to do that.

I'm not trying to, but you can't make it seem like I don't do nothing.

I ain't say you didn't do nothing.

Around the clock, my ass is tired.

I didn't say you don't do nothing. That's the problem. You do everything and everything else.

And what is the thanks I get?

That's what I'm saying.

What's the thanks I get though?

What do you—

What are you talking about? The thanks I get is if I go outside, I'm going outside with a bitch every time. Deirdre, that's not fair.

You gotta make a choice for yourself. And what I can tell is that you're not ready to make that choice today. Do you know how to walk away from this?

No.

That's the issue. My advice for you is to get to a place where you can actually hear him for what he's saying. Every time you engage and react to what he does, he's telling you that only pushes him further away. And it's wrong. You know it's wrong, Jamar.

Nah, it ain't about reacting to what I do. It's about reacting to stuff that I haven't done.

But you're the one who established the mistrust. I wish you the best of luck. I really do. You're worth more than this.

Right.

And Jamar, listen, I do not believe this is the woman for you. I believe she's a great woman, but she's not the woman for you. But the choice is gonna be up to you. The biggest lesson I have for you is figure out why one red flag is not enough, why you need 40. Figure that out. Hold on, where you going? I'll tell you where you're going. Right here to subscribe and right here to watch more. Period.