Stop Gaslighting Me, Mom! | KARAMO

My next guest Ruby lives with her mother Andrea and says that Andrea verbally attacks her on a daily basis. Why? Well, Andrea is angry and frustrated that Ruby is wasting her life as a devil worshiper who performs witchcraft. What? I don't know what y'all talking about right now. Okay, this is a lot. All right, listen everyone, let's welcome Ruby to the show to get the full details on this. You're in a bright, cute color, looking great. How are you doing?

Thank you so much. I'm doing great.

Good, good. Okay, so you're living with your mom and she's upset because of what?

Yes, I am specifically gifted. I am a psychic and a tarot card reader.

Beautiful.

And I've always known that I've had this gift since I was 5 years old. You know, I've always felt very intuitive. It's just about, you know, being spiritual too. If like you believe in God, you're gonna have a stronger sense of intuition.

You brought up God and church a lot. Do you go to church?

Is that where you grew up? Yes, I was raised Catholic. Okay. And so I went to an all-girls private school and my mom, you know, she always instilled that in us, you know, that she wanted us to have a spiritual background. But then she's like, you know, telling me like, oh, that's witchcraft, that's taboo.

Yes, it's very interesting, your career path, you identifying as a psychic, your abilities. Right. But for me, when I heard that your mother was calling you a devil, devil worshiper and other abuse, saying things to you that were emotionally abusive.

Yes.

And the way she speaks to you. That's for me what said, hold on here because I need to know more about that.

Yes.

So your mother calls you a devil worshiper.

Yes, exactly.

What does that do to you when she says that to you?

You know, it hurts my feelings because, you know, she brought me into Catholicism. You know, she brought me the spirituality. You know, this is a gift from God. Like, how are you saying that I'm a devil worshiper? I'm helping others. And I think that she's a little skeptical, but it's like she's that type of mother that goes to church and pretends to be spiritual. It's all about image. It's all about, oh, I portray myself to the family as a good mother, but really she's rude. She calls me fat and she's always putting me down like I'm not good enough. You should have gone to college. You should have been— A nurse, a doctor, a lawyer, you know, all that abuse. I'm always constantly having to hear this and I'm tired of it.

Yeah, it makes sense.

You know, a child, I live with her, I take care of her, you know, Karamo, I need your help.

So you're in the house?

Yes, exactly. I'm their caretaker.

So what happens, what does she say or think when you do the readings? 'Cause you do tarot card readings as well.

Right, right. She thinks that it's devil worshiping, it's witchcraft, it's taboo. She doesn't want me to do this as a career. She feels like she can't brag about me, you know, being a tarot card reader.

I'm sure there's fighting, a lot of it.

Oh yeah, lots of fighting.

How bad do the fights get?

I mean, there was one instance where she pushed me. She physically shoved me. Yes. Like when something happy happens to me and I'm excited about it, she's all like, oh, it'll never happen. Like, you know, you just should forget about it.

How is it with you setting boundaries with her? Does she respect those boundaries?

You know, I'm the type of person, I'm a Virgo, so I let like all this garbage come to me, you know? And it's hard because we're very compassionate and kind people and we're very giving and especially to our parents. And she walks all over me. She also is constantly at my throat for not having kids and not being married.

So what do you want from your mom today?

You know, Karamo, I want to have a good relationship with her, But I also want her to get back into her spirituality. I think she's left it and because things haven't gone right in her life, like she puts all that baggage on me. And I want a good relationship, but I also want her to get help. You know, I think she needs to see a therapist for her issues too. You know, she's very codependent and she wants me to do everything for her. And it's like, I can't do everything for you. I gotta work. I have a lot of pressure. I have to do everything and I'm doing this all on my own.

[Speaker:KARAMO] I believe that. I believe that. Everyone, please welcome Andrea to the show. Hi, Andrea.

Hi.

Why are you so strict with your daughter Ruby?

Because I'm her mother and I love her and I want the best for her. So I don't like that sidekicks at all.

Uh-huh. What about it makes you uncomfortable?

It's something bad. For me, it's something bad. It's something— Evil from the devil. I raised my daughter in a Catholic school. We go to church every Sunday. That is witchcraft. It's something bad, evil from the devil.

What do you want your daughter to be doing for a living?

I want the best for her. I want her to go to college, to have a great career, doctor, lawyer, or whatever. But not that stuff.

Yeah, but this is what I'm— this is my calling. This is my passion. This is what I love to do. And then, you know, you criticize me, you call me fat. You say that. Yes, you do. Yes, you do. Don't say that you don't. You've always criticized me like I'm not good enough. You make me feel like I'm not good enough.

So your daughter has said that you call her names. Do you call her names?

No, I never.

You're lying.

So you're saying you've never called her fat? 'Cause for some reason she feels like you call her fat.

No, she accused me that I push her and I call names.

You physically pushed me. Who does that to their daughter?

So you're saying you've never called her fat and you're saying you never pushed her?

Lies. You know you gotta tell the truth.

You did call her fat. Probably it's been long time ago, but I don't remember now.

So you're saying it could have happened in the past?

Probably.

Maybe I don't remember.

You tell me all the time you make me feel bad, that I'm not gonna make anything by doing tarot. You always tell me all the time and it hurts my feelings.

If you does that, you outta my house right now. I don't like that.

Unbelievable. Oh my gosh.

Sorry.

What does that make you feel hearing your mother say that you'd have to leave her house?

It hurts my feelings. How could you say that to your daughter? Like—

I don't like that stuff. I'm sorry. I'm not approve of that. It's not a career. She's not gonna make money. She's not gonna do nothing.

But she says that doing this makes her feel happy and she feels like she's helping people. Is her happiness just not enough for you at that point?

No, this is my life. I gotta live my life. This is not your life.

So you're saying that you wanna kick your daughter out if she continues to do the tarot cards?

Well, I don't like that stuff. It's evil. It's—

Okay, well then if you kick me out, I'm not paying your bills anymore. You're gonna have to pay the bills. I'm not paying your bills. You know, 'cause all you do is just throw yourself on the couch, watch TV all day long. And it's not fair to me when I'm working hard.

But when I was over there working hard in the field, She's just been—

That was way long ago. She's always been a housewife.

No, no, not—

Yeah, that's the first time, like 6 months.

No.

And then she quits her job. Like she can't keep a job. That's the thing. She can't keep a job because she's lazy.

She's lazy and she's afraid. I had a heart surgery in my knees. I can't work like the way I was working when I was young. Not anymore.

I wanna go to the audience. Let's take it to the comments. I wanna hear what y'all have to say about this.

First, if this is about a spiritual thing for you, God says not to judge people. So there's that. But are you truly concerned about your daughter's well-being? Because you're also talking about kicking her out of the house and that just kind of really seems like it's contradicting itself.

I'm gonna prove that. I'm sorry.

So you just can't accept that.

I want a career for her.

You want a career for her. Does anybody else have a comment? Yeah.

What I will say is, 'cause I was born with a gift as well, certain things, it works with a curse. The Bible is the Bible, and there's certain things that we have to respect, and the stories are there. You will open doors that you will regret for generations to come. So I'm not saying this to say, oh, You know, your mother is right. And the reason why she would have to separate, 'cause it says light and darkness, they never meet at the same time.

[Speaker] So she's saying that part of what she's agreeing with your mom is that she thinks that you're opening up doors. Are you scared that she's letting something into your life that she might not be able to protect you or herself from? Yeah?

[Speaker] Yes, I am.

[Speaker] How do you feel about that? Do you think you're opening doors?

[Speaker] You know, I don't feel that way because I was born with this gift. I have a relationship with God. I pray to him every day. I talk to him. And you know, I think It's just a difference of opinion. I don't know if she's part of organized religion. I'm not. I do my own spiritual practice. I have my one-on-one relationship with God. So as long as God has my back and I'm getting the messages, that's all that matters to me.

All right, let me come back to stage so we can continue talking about that. This is hard for several reasons, is because we have two things happening at the same time. We have a mother-daughter relationship that's probably been hurting for years. I feel like during that time you've all probably said things to each other that was hurtful.

Yes.

And I see you both agree to that.

Yes.

And so the first thing that I wanna talk about is the tarot cards.

Okay.

I can never tell you that what you feel is wrong, and I would never tell you that. I believe that if you feel like you're helping people, whatever's gonna bring someone joy, that's your gift to give to the world. Bring them joy. But if you're going to live in your mother's house, you have to then respect and abide by those rules. And if your mother is saying, "This makes me uncomfortable," then either you have to make the decision, which it sounds like she's about to make it for you. You have to either make the decision to leave on your own and do this outside of her home because she's saying she doesn't want this in her home. But once she leaves your home and she's not doing this in your home, That's where now you have to give her respect just as your daughter, which then bleeds into the way you two talk to each other. You said today was the first time that your mother ever acknowledged that she has said things to you that are hurtful. And you said that your daughter has said things to you that are hurtful. Where did that start?

You know, it started since childhood. I mean, all the time I felt like always, like she always put my other sisters first.

As a child, when you don't receive the same affirmation that another sibling receives, You start to receive that as my mother's putting me to the side. But I also understand how you as a child started to feel rejected. And I see this, you felt rejected because there were certain standards that your mother had for her children. So you end up in a cycle of fighting to prove yourself. But let me tell you something, somebody is going to have to make the choice to change the language you're using. And your mother is 73 years old, a beautiful 73. And as much as I wanna say like, She's gonna change like this. There's been years of this is how she was raised. And I'm not saying that her behavior is right, but I have to say that it comes to you to make a choice. And as someone who's in a place of spirituality, you have to know how to protect your own aura, to protect yourself. And what are the things that you're saying out that's going to bring back something to you that's negative? And so think about that. If you're in a space where you're saying these things to her like, oh, I'm not gonna do for you, all that's gonna do is boomerang back to you some negativity. You know what I mean? And you don't want that in your life. Right. So what I'm encouraging you to do is to think about the way you're interacting with your mom. How are you able to do something? Because I don't think she's in a space right now to be able to acknowledge the pain you felt as a child.

Yeah.

Because part of what you just said of why you're the only one sticking around, the only reason I'm staying here is because you're still looking for the same validation you were looking for when you were a kid.

That's right.

But you don't need that from her. You need to give that to yourself.

Right, right, exactly. Self-love.

You have to say right now to yourself, I'm good enough. Yeah. What I'm doing is good enough. And if you don't accept it, that's fine because I accept me. So just do the work on yourself.

Okay.

And validate yourself. You're good enough as you are and your happiness gets to be here how you want it to be here. Would you like to give me a reading?

Yes, definitely.

Is that what? So I've never done this before.

Okay, awesome.

So let me move this stuff for you.

Okay, is that cool?

Yes. Let me move these.

Let me shuffle these cards.

This is the first for me, y'all.

Okay. I want you to blow in the cards to get your energy. Now I want you to shuffle a little bit.

Okay.

Okay. Just like 1, 2 times.

Okay. Like that.

Yeah.

Perfect.

Okay. So Karamo, spirit, angels, God, what messages do you want Karamo to know? Okay, let's see what we got. Oh, I like this.

I'm very open to this.

Okay. Even though I don't know them. It looks like there's an earth sign younger to you. Virgo, Taurus, Capricorn. That's really good for you. They're in your energy right now. So I don't know if this is someone you're interested in. I also see some, like, I see a soulmate here too, but there's kind of like a little bit of fighting back and forth. Maybe like there's just, you know, a little, disagreements, little disagreements like that. But I do see that it's a little hiccup, but you'll get through it, okay? And I see a lot of money here. This is you being very wealthy, okay? Hey, I like a coin. And Scorpios, Scorpios are, they love their money.

Okay, but she told me my yacht's coming. That was the one thing I asked for.

Okay, but I also wanna pull cards from this stack. Is that okay?

Yeah, what is this stack?

Okay, so Retreat. It is time to disconnect from the world. Okay, so it's talking about like get some meditation going, get some yoga. Also talking about not having enough rest. Have you been feeling like you're overworking?

Yeah, I will tell you this. I will say that I receive and I can actually say there's a truth to this.

Okay.

Your talents of reading this, I receive because for my own thing, there is a lot about soulmates that I'm really searching. I've been having a lot of conversations about that. I've also been having a lot of conversations about wealth, and then also I have been only talking about like I need a lot of rest. I'm actually happy that I actually did this with you and that my producer suggested this happen because I've never experienced this. So thank you for sharing your gift with me.

You're welcome.

Thank you.

I really appreciate that.

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