KaramoYour Guide To Unlocking Your Best Self

Stop speaking from defense. #karamoshow #shorts

25 Jan 2024 · 1 min

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0:42

In this YouTube short, Speaker A acts as a relationship coach guiding Speaker B, who feels like a failure after a conflict. Speaker A points out that Speaker B’s partner is operating in a defensive mode, repeatedly asking what triggered the emotion. A reassures B that the partner’s response was not abandonment but a willingness to stay and work through issues, emphasizing the importance of hearing and acknowledging that response. The coach encourages B to recognize the partner’s reassurance, affirm that they heard it, and understand that the relationship is not over. Finally, Speaker A suggests a concrete next step: both partners should write down their needs to facilitate clearer communication and collaborative problem‑solving.

Chapters

She just said that it's hard for me to love you when you argue with me all the time, which is why she's in defense mode consistently in her conversations. Hold on, what just made you emotional? Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. What just made you emotional? What's happening?
I just feel like I failed. Listen to me, B. If you failed, I'd have been gone. If you failed, we won't be sitting here at Karamo. You know what I'm saying? So apparently you didn't fail.
He just said, when you said I failed, His response wasn't, "Well, I'm done, you right." He leaned into you and said, "You didn't fail. I'm still here. Let's work out these small things." You have to be able to hear when he says something to you. He said that to you. Can you look at him and say, "I heard you"?
I heard you.
This relationship isn't over. There is love here. And you know it. And you know it as well. And there's just work that needs to be done. I think if y'all take that first step of writing down what you need in this relationship,