In this episode of Karamo’s talk‑show, host Karamo mediates a raw, emotionally charged conversation between Heather, a mother, and her 16‑year‑old daughter Lela. Heather reveals that Lela has been having sex at school, sexting older men, smoking weed, and expressing a desire to have a baby. The mother recounts how Lela was caught in the boys’ locker room, how she discovered graphic sexting messages, and how Lela’s behavior stems from a history of sexual abuse and feeling unloved. Lela shares that she was molested from age 14, that her mother’s past drug use and the family’s communication patterns have left her feeling unheard, and that she craves love and validation. The stepfather confirms that Heather often dismisses Lela’s attempts to talk. Karamo guides both parties toward acknowledging past trauma, improving communication, and committing to give Lela the love and support she needs, emphasizing that Lela’s risky behavior is a cry for affection rather than a moral failing.
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Heather says she needs help talking to her 16-year-old daughter who wants to have a baby. She says that Lela has been having sex at school, has been smoking weed, and lies about walking the dog and instead sneaks off and has sex. And she's even said she's sending nudes to grown men. Let's get into all of this and more. Listen, let's welcome Heather to the show. So Heather, I know that you said that your daughter Leelah has been having sex and doing all these things. I want you to tell me what's been going on from your perspective.
Well, I work and whenever I'm at work, I can't be at home watching her. So she is home with my mom or my husband and when she's thinking that they're not paying attention, that's when she sneaks the guys in. And she gets him to her room.
Okay.
And my mom had caught her and a boy in a room naked together.
Wow. And so you said that Lela's also been having sex at school?
Yes.
How did you find that out?
The principal at school called me and said that Lela was caught in the boys' locker room with another guy and they was having sex.
Mm. And for you as a mother, when you got that call, what went through your mind?
Scared.
Yeah. What were you scared most about?
She's 16. She's still a baby.
16 years old. What do you think is going on with her while she's wanting to engage in this sexy behavior so soon?
She wants to be an adult. She don't wanna be a kid. She wants to have a family.
You said that Lela used to be a sweet girl. Can you talk to me about the kid that she used to be?
Oh my God. When she was younger, she was my baby.
Yeah. Aw. Aw. Here you go. Here you go.
That was my everything. That's when she needed me. That's when she wanted me.
And what do you think changed?
She thinks no one wants her. Her real dad don't want her. He don't want nothing to do with her.
Her biological father?
Yes.
Yeah, okay, yeah.
I mean, how can you not want someone that looks like her?
Yes, beautiful little girl. She's beautiful. Yeah.
Inside and out, she's beautiful.
Yeah.
I could never walk away from my kids.
Yeah.
And I know she's hurt inside, I do. And she's hurting, I know it.
So I know that you said that she's also sexting photos to older men. How did you find that out?
So my husband told me that my one rule in my house, you don't stay in your room You don't lock doors.
So we're going home. Well, that's how I grew up in my house. If you're not paying bills, you don't lock doors.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, I, he called me at work one day and he said, Lela is in her room and I think you need to look at her phone. So, when I come home from work, I checked her phone and went through it and I seen all these messages of bad pictures of her sending things to grown guys and them sending them back to her.
Yeah, we have screenshots that you gave to my producers of the messages, right?
Yes.
Yeah, okay. So this is one, this is her saying, "Are you okay? Why is your face red? I'm okay. Does it feel good?" She says, "I'm daddy's." "I don't wanna say that word." "Daddy, I want you." Oh my gosh.
Yes.
So she's even using language like, "Daddy, I love you, I love you." That's heartbreaking. And so when you saw these messages, what did you say to Lela?
I asked her what they was. And she said, "It's role-playing." Yeah. I'm 35 years old, I don't know what role-playing is.
Mm-hmm.
I'm sorry.
I'm 42 and I'm not role-playing like that. Yeah. So, you know. So my producer just told me that there was even more that you gave us that were even more graphic than this.
Yes.
Yeah. How graphic did the text get? Without telling us exactly, how graphic did those text messages get?
It's something that a 16-year-old shouldn't be doing.
Do you mean like it's pretty graphic? Pornography status?
Yes.
Wow. Leila, how are you doing?
Okay.
Yes, you look very pretty today, by the way. I just told you that before we started. Your haircut, you look nice. So you're 16, you're a baby yourself. Why do you want to have a baby?
Well, when I was younger, I raised my sister and brother myself. Mm-hmm. So from there, I thought I could raise my own family. It's not hard to take care of kids like everybody says it is. It's not.
I understand from your perspective because you're younger and even though you're the older sibling, your mom is still holding a lot of the weight. She's doing all the work. So like when you're adding in those extras, in your mind you're thinking, oh, I can do this. But like, you know, there's bills, there is money, there is formula, there is a lot of things that come with it. How do you feel about what your mom just said?
Well, I never heard her saying I was beautiful.
You never have?
No.
Wow.
And it has been a long time since I heard her say I love you.
What did it make you feel like when you heard her say I love you and that you're beautiful?
Yes, I did cry a little. But.
Do you believe you're beautiful?
To be honest, no, I don't.
Well, you are beautiful. Wouldn't y'all agree?
This is a family.
It's a family here. We wouldn't lie to you. Do you believe you deserve love?
Yes, I do.
Have you ever felt like you were loved?
No.
When did you start having sex?
Uh, when I was 14.
Okay.
It's not because I wanna have a family early, it's because I was touched inappropriate my whole entire life. Trust me, I hate it. But there's really nothing that you could do for it. It's just how life is. I really don't want to, it's just, That's just how people are when they've been touched inappropriate.
Have you ever told your mom that?
She knows it.
Wow.
And she's the one that told me, and I have short memory, so that's basically, I'm surprised that I remember it.
I'm very sorry that happened to you. Have you ever talked to somebody about what happened?
The court, but they didn't do anything about it.
What was your mom's reaction when you told her you were molested?
She was mad. She did try her best, but I mean, all kids go through it.
Not all kids go through it. I'm sorry that you had to go through it though. I'm sorry that you had to go through it. Have you talked to anybody else about what you went through?
I did at school. I thought I could trust people. I have trust issues because they told my mom that I was trying to do suicide.
Do you really want a baby?
To be honest, no, I don't. 'Cause people said we have to worry about school and jobs. Yes, I'm trying to get a job, but I can't do it without my family yelling, cussing me out for having a job.
Well, are you just looking to be loved?
Yes, I am. Looking to be loved. I haven't been loved or anything like that my whole entire life.
Yeah.
I try to go to counseling. I'm tired of being sad. I'm tired of crying. So I take it in my own hands.
Yeah.
To be happy.
So you're having sex with the boys because you feel like that brings you some temporary happiness and some type of connection.
Yes.
Yeah. So why don't you feel the love in your house? Because we just met your mom and it seems that she loves you and she supports you. Is there something else that's going on in the house?
Like everybody says you should talk to your mom. I can't without her yelling and cussing me out.
And why does she yell and cuss at you?
Well, I have a problem. I bring up the past and my mom did put me in danger. I will never speak to that person today. I hate him. Because what he did.
So you talk to your mom about the past when you're molested and because of that she gets angry.
Yes.
And so you can't talk about it.
Yes, 'cause I don't know what to talk to her. I have shut her out for so long. I don't know what people expect for me to say.
I learned from my producers that your grandmother lives with you. Do you talk to your grandmother?
Somewhat, but when I talk to her, she tells my mom. So I barely talk to her.
So you don't have anyone that you can trust and confide in?
I have my stepdad. I do call him dad because he shows me what an actual daughter is.
So our producers had a conversation with your stepfather Kenneth, and he says, "Mom doesn't listen when Laila speaks." She doesn't listen to you. All Laila wants is time with her mom to talk. She wants to feel loved and not be yelled at all the time. That's what your stepfather said.
That's true.
Why is that making you emotional? Here, grab this.
Because I don't really talk to her 'cause she don't listen. And that hurts because all the stuff I have to say is because she don't even listen.
I wanna bring back out your mom now because this is important. Important for us, you know, because at first we hear a young child and we think, oh, she wants a baby, she's wild. But what I've learned, especially in my career, is that anytime you have something like this, there's a young girl that's hurting and this is a cry for something else. Now I'm gonna tell you something and I want this to be clear. I don't think you're a villain because I always like to make sure that's very important established because mothers have so much to deal with. They're doing the best they can. And so I don't know what's been going on in your home, but I do know that your daughter says right now that she wants to be heard. How do you feel about her, what she's saying?
I understand what she's saying. I understand that she does try to talk to me, but it's more like when she talks to me, she wants to bring up the past.
Why are you ashamed to talk about the past?
I used to be on drugs, like she said. I was on drugs. But whenever I was on drugs, I made sure my kids was being taken care of.
So then if you can acknowledge that you were on the drugs, why can't you have the conversation? Why can't you allow her to bring up the past? Because sometimes to heal the future, you have to talk about the past. You have to be able to say, this is what happened, this is what I went through. What are you afraid to face if she talks about the past?
It's not that I'm afraid to face it or deal with it. It's more like the things that I did with my ex, she brings it up and thinking that it's gonna cause an argument between me and my husband.
Got it.
And it's like something don't go her way.
But can you understand this? She's a young person. Yeah. We're older, we get it, we understand like, oh, I've changed, I've grown. But in young people's minds as they're developing, she's still stuck in a period of her time where that's her truth.
Yes.
So when she's bringing it up, and I'll let you speak for it, are you trying to hurt your mom when you bring those things up?
No, I just want everything to be answered so I can move on and—
Tell your mom this.
Get a bond. I don't want to speak about the past. I want to move on, spend time with my mom when she's home. I can't do that without arguing. All I do after the days over, I cry. You did see me cry a couple times, but I tell you it's just nothing 'cause I don't know what to say.
Well, you need to talk to me.
But it sounds as if she's saying when she tries to, you react and your reaction is something that shuts her down. Just because she said something that's immature in your mind, you can't match that with immaturity as well. Does that make sense?
Yes, it does.
Because your daughter, your daughter is crying out right now. And I know you've been there as the mom, but even though you're there, parts of the actions are causing her to still lash out. Do you want your daughter to be having sex with men?
No.
Tell your daughter.
I want her to save herself for someone that she really love.
Look at your mom, she's talking to you.
Respect yourself.
Your daughter said she had never heard you say I love you in a long time.
I tell you all the time, every day.
I don't.
I tell you how beautiful you are, 'cause you are beautiful inside and out.
Look at your mom when she's talking to you. Tell her, listen, 'cause I want you to receive this in this moment.
I love you.
This is not an out-of-control teen. This is just a teen that needs love. A mother that didn't know how to communicate with her daughter. You don't need to act out anymore. The love that you're seeking from a baby, the love that you're seeking from these men, your mother is committed right now to start giving you that love. Can you tell your daughter you're committed to giving her that love?
I am. If you need anything, talk to me.
How would you say to her, I'm committed to giving you the love you need?
I'm committed to giving the love that you need.
Do you believe your mother?
Yes.
Good.
I love you.
Give your mom a hug. Y'all gonna be all right. Y'all gonna be all right.
