In this episode of KARAMO, host Karamo mediates a family confrontation involving single mother Monique, her teenage daughter Kamiyah, and her son Cameron. Monique expresses feeling overwhelmed and believes she has given everything to her children, yet feels Kamiyah is disrespectful and pushes her away. Kamiyah describes feeling labeled the "problem child," lacking positive reinforcement, and yearning for a stronger bond with her mother. Cameron shares his perspective, noting he feels caught between his sister and mother but generally has a closer relationship with Monique, possibly due to a protective role. Karamo highlights themes of perceived parental favoritism toward the son, generational trauma, and the impact of parental modeling on children’s behavior. He repeatedly emphasizes the importance of positive affirmation, better communication, and breaking cycles of negative patterns. The conversation moves toward mutual apologies, expressions of love, and commitments to try improving the relationship, with Karamo guiding both parties to focus on each other's strengths and to model healthier interactions.
Chapters
She's mimicking you. That sweet smile when her mother grabs her.
I need help. My child, she's been so disrespectful. It's crushing me. I really don't know why she hate me. I don't know why she don't like me. I don't know anything when I've given everything I've had Being a single parent, a mom of 4, I want it better for them.
There's a lot of emotion and there's a lot to unpack here. We'll talk to Monique shortly, but I want to start with Kamiyah. But before we bring Kamiyah out here, I want to have a moment with her alone backstage. I mean, already hearing what this mother had to say, you already get a clear picture of how she sees her child and what she thinks about her child. And again, it's easy for me as I'm quickly understanding like, oh, this mother sees her child this way, which now she's put her child in a box. And those words and those things stick to the child. Like it's, you know, they used to say sticks and stones may break your bones, but words never hurt me. Worst lie they ever told us because words will hurt you and they will live with you and play in your head over and over again. And parents need to remember that. I want you to tell me your version of all of this.
I want a bond with my mom. I don't think I have one. I'm always called the problem child.
Yeah.
No positive words.
Yeah.
That's all.
Something y'all don't know is I actually reached out to one of my friends who's at a modeling agency and told them that they should look at this episode and sent them the clip because I think this child needs to be modeling. This child needs to be modeling. And I don't know, I think they reached out to them in their DM and I don't know what happened, but I was like, she should clearly be modeling. Like some, you do some gender neutral something, like it's good. No, y'all see it? What happened that you felt like made her start treating you differently?
Maybe because how I react to things. We never really had time to really talk. Every time we do talk, it's like a moment where, okay, we talk about it and if it go wrong, boom.
Got it.
It just clash and we just go separate ways.
This little girl is in pain. It's heartbreaking. All she's asking for is her mom. Hi, Monique, how you doing? Thank you for being here. Take a seat.
Thank you.
So what do you feel about what your daughter has said?
I feel as if she's pushed me to the point to where I don't wanna be bothered with her.
So much generational trauma. I mean, parents are exhausted. There's so much to deal with on top of their own life, on top of raising their kids. But it's just like, oh my gosh, you have to also remember like these kids didn't ask to be in this world.
Me being an only child, you know, I don't know. What it was to have a hug from my mom. So it's like it's a pattern repeating itself.
Got it.
Do I wanna be like that? No.
So in your opinion, when did she start acting out?
I wanna say 7th, 8th grade.
Yeah.
It started, and you know what? It was before that. I've gotten into arguments with my mom, my grandmother, about her. Oh, you need to stop her from saying this. Or you need to stop her from doing it. Me always being Superwoman. I'm gonna come to the defense of my child. No, oh, Kamiyah needs this. You spoil her too much, you do this. But that's all I know. That's all I know how to do is give out love. I don't know how to give out nothing else. But when you've hurt my heart so much It pushes me back in my own space.
Vice versa.
I don't wanna be around her.
Ooh, her saying, "I don't wanna be around my child," is going to be a direct reflection of why your daughter then says, "I push you away." She's saying she pushes people away because if the person who gave me life says, "I don't wanna be around you," why would I believe anybody else wants to be around me? And that's what's playing on her self-esteem. And that's why people push other people in their lives away because it's like, why would I have anybody come close to me if I think that they don't really want me around?
I don't want my child to end up dead. I don't want my child to end up homeless somewhere where she can't defend for, you know, fend for herself because she's steady pushing people away. And people only want the best for her.
But the only people I push away is you. I feel like I changed.
So why push me away?
'Cause you don't understand me. I can't change if you don't try.
Remember, this is a little teenage girl who's saying, Mom, I need you to model the behavior. I need you to show me who I am and how to be in this world. And so when she says, I can't change if you don't change, there's sincerity in that. Because she's trying to say, I need you to model for me how to be a human being in this world. What do y'all think needs to happen to mend this relationship from y'all's opinion?
Try to understand each other better.
Okay. What about for you?
Better communication.
Let me tell y'all something. You look at your partner right now, it's a direct reflection of how they were raised, what they saw in their parents' house. It is so common that the way that we behave is what we saw and what was modeled to us growing up. Whether it's from our parents, whether it's from older siblings, whether it's from, the people that most influenced us. And so, you know, parents always think it's like, it's TV that's influenced your kids. Not as much as it is, they're watching what you doing because they're going to react to situations as adults based on what they saw. And sometimes they're able to grow through it, which is the healthiest where they're saying, you know what, I saw this negative behavior, I'm gonna be different. But a lot of times we don't have the language to know how to grow through that. So we don't talk about it so we don't grow.
My mom was always there for sure. I grew up living with my grandmother though, and not with my mom. I moved in a little later.
And what have you witnessed?
I've witnessed a lot of arguments, fights, basically everything they described, you know? And I love my sister to death. I love my sister and my mom.
Yeah.
I feel like a lot of times though, they make me, They put me in the middle of it and it forces me to have to choose between sister or mom.
Got it.
And I hate to have to do that sometimes, you know, and I can honestly admit that sometimes, you know, I do run to my mother's defense all the time.
It seems as if her son, her brother doesn't have as many issues with, you know, their mother as Kamiyah does. And I think part of that is because he's more in protection mode of his mother. And I think sometimes when young men are in homes where the mother is without a partner, they feel as if they have to take on the responsibility of protecting. And so I think that's probably why they may feel like they have a closer bond. But I'm sure if we did some digging, there could be some behavior and some things that he feels like he's not getting. I'm not saying she's a bad mom, I'm saying I'm sure if we dug a little deeper.
So I feel like, you know, Kamiyah, you need to apologize. Also, Mom, I feel like you need to apologize. You know, hug it out if y'all can.
I gotta tell you, Cameron, I appreciate you giving me some perspective there because you added the last piece of this that I need to understand. Because there's things that are going on here that I'm seeing. First of all, your daughter mimics your behavior. And you're nodding your head right now. So you agreeing that there's identical behavior? Have you ever acknowledged that y'all have identical behavior? No. How does it feel to see your son and a stranger tell you, I'm witnessing, he's nodding his head and saying it's the same? I do believe that there was anger that started early on. That started a path of like, I need to figure out how to express myself. I need to have people hear me. I need to have people listen to me. And I think at that point she didn't feel like you could fully hear her. For them, after they leave this show, all I'm hoping is that they continue to communicate very honestly, openly. But also I hope that mom just keeps watching her behavior. I mean, it's up to her to model how Kamiyah should behave because if you don't, it's gonna just be a pattern, a cycle, and someone has to stop the cycle. What I've heard consistently from the oldest, now to her, to them, is that you're a good mom throughout. So your motherhood and what you've done as a mother is not under question here. And I wanna make sure that's clear because sometimes it can feel like when there is your child talking to you like, maybe I'm the worst mother in your world. Your daughter's crying because she still loves you. This is your baby and she still loves you and wants to be with you. You know that, right? 'Cause I heard you say earlier, you would not even, if I was your mother, you wouldn't mess with me. Let me tell you something. Yes, she would. I believed her when she says she protects you out in the world. I believe her when she doesn't talk mess about you because I believe that's your characteristic. I believe you're loyal like that. I believe that's you.
It is.
Which makes complete sense. And that's who she's picking up. She's mimicking you. Oh, that sweet smile when her mother grabbed her. She's just an innocent baby. That's all she wanted. That's all she wanted. Let me ask you a question. Can you tell your daughter what good you see in her?
She's a good person. Her heart is big. She's very helpful and she's thoughtful.
This was big because I think sometimes we get in a pattern of always talking about what's wrong with somebody else. You forget to talk about what's good with them. And especially when it's kids or even in partnerships. You know, if you're in a hard place with your partner or your child, It's easy just to always go into like, you get on my nerves, you're not doing this, you're not doing this. Sometimes it's good to start conversations about what you have done. Let's start with the positives. You know what? I see you, I appreciate you doing this. I think you're great. I think this is good. Let that live and then say, now let's talk about the areas we can grow in. I think it's a way to be heard, to be seen and not shut somebody else down. I'm sure there's a point in your life that you would've just loved your mom to say, damn, you're great. You are smart, you're kind, you're giving, and that's why you ended up being this mother that spoils your kids. Am I right? You would've loved your mother to do that to you.
Correct, yes.
Just tell her right now what is good. You started with the thoughtful, you said she's kind.
Tell her. I mean, again, you're very talented, and now that you all have made it clearer to me, I do see it in her. I do see it, but you're an amazing person, Kamiyah. You too. I love you. I love you more. You can look at me. I love you.
I love you more.
I don't want nothing bad.
Oh yeah. The next time y'all both get into these arguments, I want y'all to go into remembering what's good about each other.
Yes.
I believe y'all can do this. I really do.
I do too.
Can you look at your mother and tell her I love you?
I love you.
And I'm gonna try. You gonna tell her you gonna try?
