Teen Tells Her Paralyzed Mom To "Stand On Business!" | KARAMO

And y'all can shut the fuck up too.

Ooh, she got my audience to shut up, girl. Ooh. She got a little mouth on her.

When I first got shot, I was very, like, you know, mean. Like, I didn't even want to be here. So I was a certain kind of way where—

Let me tell y'all the okie-doke about this. Not to give Barry the lead or tell y'all what happened later. Let me give y'all the okie-doke. I was so like, oh, she's so calm.

She's so healed, she's so ready.

And that attitude changed quick. That's why sometimes, you know, like when I work the social services, you gotta do multiple visits because like somebody present their best foot forward and then later on you'd be like, oh, now I see the real, real.

Has she become negative and argumentative with you?

Very.

Uh-huh. In what ways?

I can't tell her nothing. Mm-hmm. She's not in school. She was kicked outta school. She stole from the stores, but it's all because of other people. Like, 'cause when we lived somewhere else, she didn't do it.

And she fighting at school too?

She was fighting in school, physical with the teachers as well. I be feeling like school could make you, you know, not like your kids 'cause they always calling, you know? So, and that's what I be trying to tell Meme. Like, it's like things give me a reason to be mad at you. Like, I be just minding my business and either you do something where the cops gotta be knocking at my door or the school is calling me.

Yeah. That's the realest thing I've ever heard anybody say. And I've never heard anybody say this, but I just took myself back to when my son was in the 9th grade and he was having some problems. When you just said school will make you feel like you don't like your kid, that is the re— I mean, every time my phone rang when I was at work, I was like, you a damn liar.

My phone isn't. I was like, you a— my phone is not ringing again. And it was like my frustration was just, I've never heard anyone put it like that.

But it is the realest thing I've ever heard.

And then it's the stuff that they tell you.

I gotta ask you, what do you remember about that day in August of 2018?

When I woke up, my mom was on the floor. She told me to go outside 'cause she got shot. So I went outside and I called the cops and they came.

Got it. And what do you feel like your mom does not understand about you?

That I'm gonna do stuff and she's not going to accept it. Like, yes, I'm gonna go outside with my friends and she always want me to go in the house and do chores every day. And I'm not finna do that.

What kind of chores does she want you to do?

Like the dishes and shit, I'm not finna do that.

You're lying.

I do my own dishes and shit.

You're lying.

Clean up after the cats.

You're lying. And I do.

And you don't. Mm-hmm.

Anyways.

You do realize teenagers have chores, right?

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

That we all do.

Okay, understood.

That we all do.

Okay. She was able to get $80 a week, right? Right? She got it one time.

That little stank look on her face.

What's up, girl?

First of all, she didn't give me the money.

I gave you $40 because I said I'm gonna hold $40. I'm smart.

Okay, well, like, where's my other $40 though?

Oh, you didn't do it the next week.

Whatever.

Think about it. Be for real though. Why would I give you the whole $80? I explained everything to you. You're gonna get $40, and then I'm gonna hold $40. Did you clean up the next week to even get another $40? To even be able to save another $40?

Did you? Okay, I tried, but—

You never consistent. We can have heart-to-hearts. First of all— We can have all that and it doesn't get to you.

I do do my chores too. When my brother was in a program doing my chores, you're just ungrateful.

Ooh!

Did this girl tell my mama I'm an ungrateful girl? Mm-mm, girl, not in my house. Mm-mm. Mm-mm.

You said—

And then you tell me that I don't do chores. OK, yes, I do.

If you did what I got to tell you to do it, then make it make sense.

And y'all can shut the fuck up, too.

Ooh, she got my audience to shut up, girl. Ooh. She got a little mouth on her.

Make it make sense.

All right, so—

I'm not impressed by those type of actions, as clearly you can see. What's going on? What just made you say that?

Because they keep, yeah, like if you got something to say, say it.

Because they're having a reaction to how you acted? Yeah.

Okay. Tell me from your opinion, why did you get kicked outta school?

'Cause I was fighting and I got a smart mouth.

Mm-hmm.

Where you think you got the smart mouth from?

You got mouth from?

Her. Okay. And why are you fighting at school?

Because these got me fucked up.

And what do they have you messed up about?

They pop shit like it won't do nothing.

But these is people that be friends. These is people that be friends though. These is people that be friends that she'll sneak out the window and do all type of shit and then y'all fight.

Okay, okay. And I heard you was stealing stuff. You was stealing makeup and hairs. Hair stuff?

Hair dye?

Yep. You told my producers something that they just told me, which is you think your mother uses her wheelchair to make people feel sorry for her? Yep.

How the fuck can I use this wheelchair to make people feel sorry?

Because you do that.

I do everything by myself.

Okay.

What the fuck you talk about? Watch your mouth. Like I said, like you said, she start shit.

Explain.

Like nobody was not coming at you crazy.

Explain.

Like I said, she talked to her friends. Don't waste your breath.

Explain.

Why you still talking though? I'm talking to him. Explain. Like I said, she literally talked to her friends about me and all she say is I'm in a wheelchair. Yeah, she gonna do this in a wheelchair, in a wheelchair.

Yeah, 'cause you popped, 'cause if I was standing up, you wouldn't be doing none of this shit.

You don't know that. You don't know that.

You are a liar.

I'm not lying, you're lying. Since we moved to our new house, you've been cleaning my house?

Yes.

Yo, I said what I thought.

It was only me at the house. I'm not lying.

Like I'm not even playing right now.

You talking about producers that you said?

I ain't even playing with you right now.

I'm not lying, you are.

You talking about producers that your mom maces you?

Yeah, she maces me.

Do you mace me?

And do. You do? Yeah.

It's the and do that I hate. It's like, don't stand in ignorant business. Don't stand in it.

She put her hands on me. Did you hit me with a bottle?

You're lying. It's your lie. No, Maymay, you ain't hit me in my head with a bottle.

No.

Oh my God.

Oh girl, Symesh.

Well, Maymay couldn't hit me in the head with a bottle.

It's like I said, she literally—

I did it.

Go get my phone. Go get her phone.

What happened?

What's in the phone?

Go get your phone. You really lying about that. Go get your phone. May May, did you hit me in my head with a bottle?

I didn't.

You did not hit me in the head with a bottle?

No, I didn't. She literally come in my room and shit the whole room. It's literally orange shit on the wall.

You lying, bro.

You literally threatened to shit me too. I'm not lying.

Okay, fine.

I'll shit you again, you shit me with a bottle.

And what?

What the fuck you talking about?

I did not, bro.

You ever lie on me?

I'm not lying.

I'm gonna let you go back.

Okay, you got me. No, you are lying.

Yeah, so that you can see it.

And then bye to you too.

You mad?

Yeah, you're not even talking to yourself.

She says that her and your brother are survivors. That's what she constantly says. My producers told me you said she always says they're survivors. Did she call you a survivor? She doesn't call you a survivor? Mm-mm. Got it, got it. See, like I said to you, I saw the real you. You're 14 years old and I know the behavior we all watch, we're seeing you mimic it. We heard how your mom talks to you, so we know why you talk this way. So I don't blame you and I don't think you're a bad person either. I actually think you're pretty intelligent. I actually think you're pretty responsible. I actually think a lot, I think very highly of you, even with what I saw on this stage. Thank you.

I do.

I do believe you when you said that you have been taken care of a lot. When it feels like it's my responsibility, where I feel like I don't know how to have a time to just be a kid, when I feel like I'm always having to do something and it's been years compounded. To your mom, it might seem like, oh, you're lazy today. But for you, it feels like I've always been doing this, right? Yes. Yeah, I know. That boy know how to relate to kids, girl. That's that training, girl. I could talk to a child.

I'm going through a lot. Like, it's just how my mom just don't understand me at all. And I like talk to her, I keep, Trying to talk to her, but like, I just really can't talk to her.

Poor baby.

There are so many kids that we look at them and we think that they have bad behavior, they're just bad people, but we forget they're just kids.

And when they don't know how to deal with their emotions, they lash out. They do things that we as adults say, "Why are you doing that?" But they're still just kids. What do you want her to know?

Like how I'm feeling when she's like calling me out my name and stuff.

How do you feel?

Like she brings me down. Like she talks about me. Like she calls me like a whore. I'm not a whore. I know who I am. I don't know, but like.

Yeah, so it brings you down. If your mom's calling you out your name every minute, like yeah, it could bring you down and make you react a certain way. I totally understand. I'm not saying it's right. So hear me out. I'm not saying it's right. You're right, but I understand it and I get it and I don't blame you. Does it feel nice to have somebody who understands you a little bit? Yes. Yeah, I can imagine. I talked to her, but can I ask you this? And this is where we gotta take accountability as adults, as parents. Would you talk to another little 14-year-old girl the way you talk to her?

I do.

Ugh, ugh, she's so angry. She's so upset, which I understand why. You done been through a lot, you've been shot. This is the only one that survived and came out with nothing but—

You talk to other 14-year-old girls on the street like that?

If they saying something to me smart, is that what you mean? 'Cause I'm not just gonna come up to a 14-year-old girl and be mean to her. And we not gonna make it seem like she came outta me and I was talking to her like that. We not gonna make it seem like that either.

I'm not gonna make it seem like that.

So over time, this is somebody I gotta be around that'll look at me In a wheelchair, somebody will tell me to stand on that. Oh, I forgot you can't.

That is the most foul thing I've ever heard. Stand on it? Ooh, girl.

Oh, that's some kid shit to you?

That's still a kid. Oh. 'Cause you know kids say nasty things.

Oh, they do?

They do. And I'm sure you said nasty things when you was a kid too. And unfortunately they say nasty things to their parents sometimes too.

I did not know that. I did not know a kid would say that to their mother.

Yeah, I've heard worse.

That's crazy.

That's a shame.

It is a shame.

It's a shame.

But what I want you to understand is that it doesn't make it right. And I'm sorry she said it to you.

Mm-hmm. Because you didn't do that. What I'm supposed to say? Oh baby, don't say that shit. What I'm supposed to say? I didn't say that. Tell me. No, I want you to tell me for real what I'm supposed to say. I really honestly wanna know. Like I really do.

I would tell you that matching her energy is not gonna help you to figure out what to say or to figure out how to make this work.

Relationship better.

So I'm just supposed to feel this small as a child?

I don't think you should feel this small as a child.

It's saying something to me.

But it's the communication.

Even if I'm telling her to leave me alone, get out my face, none of that works? I still just gotta be the bigger person? Unfortunately.

Oh, can't do it.

Unfortunately. Can't do it. It's only a couple people that said some shit about this wheelchair that'll never get to see me again. Are y'all crazy?

Hold on, you just said the issue right there. There's a couple people who have said things about me in this wheelchair who would never get the same me again. And unfortunately, one of those people is your daughter. Mm-hmm. So that is something that you have to heal before I can heal the relationship with you and your daughter.

And I don't know how to do it, so I don't know.

If I get your daughter to apologize, can you receive it? I guess. You guess? All right. So I talked to your mother and we talked about what we talked about. I shared her with what I said with you. And I understand her feelings as well. I understand how she's feeling. But there's a comment that you made to your mother that still sticks with your mom. And I know when we feel hurt, we say things 'cause we gonna jab. Do you remember what you said to your mother? Mm-hmm. What was it?

You can't walk, something like that. But like, I said it 'cause like she was coming at me crazy. Hold on.

Sorry. I understand. Look at that little girl, she says sorry to me quick.

I'm telling you, you can get a little kid to like understand boundaries. But not when you act crazy, they will model your behavior quickly.

I understand. I heard you and I heard her. She came at you crazy, so you said something that you felt was gonna hurt her back. I know. Can you apologize to your mother for that comment? And really mean it.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I will never accept it because you fucking said that shit to me.

Oh damn, and she knew that was coming. That's why she was smiling.

Girl.

Done. So, yeah, so the thing is when you've been through trauma and you've had these issues, is there a way to forgive?

Yes.

But the thing is that you got to let go. And sometimes people get— it's easier for them to hold on to the pain, hold on to the anger, hold on to something said because it gives them— it makes it seem like it gives an answer or a reason for what went on. Her anger towards that one comment is misguided because I'm sure other things have been said she forgot, but she cannot forget this one thing. And because she's holding on to that anger, they'll never be able to go anywhere further. And the sad part is that that little girl would be willing to do what she needs to do. As you saw, I told her to hold on and she apologized and she got right back in line. There is a path for that little girl to get back in line. She just needs somebody who's going to be stern, but also loving.

Even you taking the opportunity to model that behavior and try to like apologize and do it when I know you felt uncomfortable. I understand. I see who you are. And I think that there's still even more room to be grown.

Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm. We should do an update on them, see where they at.

I know that you want a relationship with your mother. I know you do. You gonna have to do some work too. And you're young right now, but you can start to learn that you can actually make different choices.

You know, you see the smile when the daughter was apologizing. Yes, that apology was genuine. She's a 16-year-old kid on national TV. She's smiling because she's uncomfortable, because she's nervous, because she also knew the reaction that was going to come from her mother. So yes, it's genuine. She just needed— she was trying to give it to her.

You got to forgive these moments.

Why would I say I forgive her when I think she gonna do it again? How about I know she gonna do it again?

Well, that's the cycle there. Until you can forgive and believe that forgiveness, you're never gonna see your daughter the way that you're supposed to see your daughter.

Poor babies. I feel sad for them. It's, that's all has to do with the mother. When you hold onto anger, there's nothing this kid can do. Relationships that need to be fixed between parents and children, it's the parent's duty, not the child's duty. And so if the parent can't take the first step second, third step, then the child will never get there. And that's point blank. It's not the opposite way around.

And anybody who tells you differently, tell them to call my show and I'll cuss their ass out.