The 6 Wildest Teen Moments from Season 1 | KARAMO
In this episode of KARAMO, host Karamo mediates a chaotic family session involving a mother (Ronisha), her two teenage children (Janaria, 16, and Tahaji, 15), a younger sister (Melanie, 14), and an older brother (Eric, 20). The family grapples with a cascade of crises: Janaria’s repeated school expulsions, fights, an armed robbery charge, house‑arrest violations, and a night‑time police detention; Tahaji’s fear of following his sister’s path; Melanie’s multiple arrests, marijuana use, twerking TikTok videos, and sexual activity; and Eric’s concern for his sister’s safety. Karamo offers concrete resources (dentist appointment, tutoring, counseling) and introduces a communication technique he calls “love me louder,” urging the teens to ask for emotional support directly. The conversation delves into deeper issues such as gang initiation, gun possession, trauma from childhood sexual assault, the impact of the pandemic and moving from a high‑risk neighborhood, and the teens’ aspirations (e.g., Janaria’s WNBA dream, Melanie’s lash‑business idea). Throughout, Karamo attempts to shift blame from punitive measures to empathy, encouraging the siblings to support each other, improve school performance, and envision a healthier future while highlighting the role of social‑media exposure and community resources.
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Y'all wanna get it on? Y'all wanna get it on? All right. And we can discuss getting it on when we get outta here, 'cause I don't know why you talking like that. I don't know why you talking like that. I didn't ask you. We're about your daughter, not about me. Why you here? Why you not watching about your daughter?
Why do you think she was suspended 100 times?
Her attitude. She doesn't like to listen to anybody. If you're telling her something she doesn't wanna hear, she's not gonna listen to you. She's gonna ignore you. Talk back. She just gets real disrespectful when she doesn't get her way.
So let me figure this out. When did Myasia's behavior change?
She's always had behavior problems since she first started school.
'Cause she's 14 now, right?
Yes.
Okay.
She's been kicked outta school since kindergarten. But I noticed a change once she got to middle school.
Okay.
Middle school. As far as thinking she's—
So what, like 2 years ago?
Yep.
Okay.
As far as thinking she's grown, disrespecting the teachers, the way she talked to them when I'm getting calls there, the way she talks to the teacher is just unacceptable. And she also talks to me the same way she talks to everybody else.
Okay, so Myasia's father recently came back in her life, right?
Yes, I just found out 2 years ago that he was the father and he stepped right in, you know?
And you've been a single mom most of your life. Tell me about that.
It's been a challenge, you know, but I did my best, made the best out of it. It's been kind of hard because like I couldn't really work because I couldn't get a babysitter for Myasia. Like nobody wanted to keep her. Of course. Or me having to get called from work to go up to the school as many times as I had to go. So.
What are you most worried about with Myasia?
That she's gonna get lost in the streets. I think she wants to be for the streets because of the people that she hang with. She wanna do bad girl stuff. I just don't want her to go down the wrong road and end up hurt or in jail. I'm just trying to get ahead of the situation before it gets too late. Like, I want better for my daughter.
How often do you two argue?
When she gets in trouble at school or I'm telling her to do stuff around the house or do your homework. And she doesn't wanna do those things, so that upset her because I'm constantly telling her like, this is the stuff that you have to do. Like, she wanna argue and fight, like.
What do you want to happen today?
I really just want a better relationship with my daughter. Communication, you know, I want her to be able to come to me and talk to me about anything. I want her to know that I'm not her enemy, I got her back. I just want her to be the best version of herself.
Well, we're going to get to the root of what's causing this with Myasia, and I wanna talk to her now. So everyone, please welcome Myasia to the show. Hi, Myasia.
Hi.
Can I have a hug?
Yeah.
How are you doing? I'm good, how are you? Nice to meet you. You look very pretty today.
Thank you.
Yes, you're welcome. Why do you feel like you have to yell to be heard?
Because every time I try to talk or something, I can't get my side out. Like, people always talking over me.
And what is it that you're trying to say that you feel like they don't listen to you about?
When I'm trying to get my side of the story out, they just don't wanna listen and they just wanna take it they way.
Okay. Do you think you get along with your mom?
Sometimes I can, but sometimes no.
Do you think your mom loves you?
Yeah, I know she do.
So do you get along with your dad?
I don't really talk to him that much.
How did you feel when you found out about your dad? 'Cause I know that was 2 years ago, right?
Yeah. I was kind of happy. It's just like, oh, my dad. I never knew him until now.
So for you to find out about this man, it was like, I finally have my father?
Yeah.
Okay. Marquita, do you tell Myasia that you're going to send her to live with her dad?
Mm-hmm.
Why do you do that?
Because the way she talks to me, I'm not gonna tolerate that in my house. She'll argue back with me. She'll cuss, call me names, all that, slam her doors. Punch walls. Like, you know, I just need a break sometimes. It's overwhelming.
Yeah. How does it make you feel when your mom says she's gonna send you to your dad?
All her stuff and was sitting there with her door open waiting for me like, "Am I leaving yet?" That's called a test. Like, sending me to my dad's house is my dad. I wouldn't even care. So I just packed up all my stuff.
Do you really wanna leave your mom for a man you just met 2 years ago?
No.
Then what is it that you care about? What does it make you feel?
Like, "Oh, she just want me gone." Mm-hmm.
And how does that make you feel thinking that she just wants you gone?
Sad. Like, oh, you want me outta the house? I'm gonna leave. And I'm not by far trying to make her feel like that. It's just she don't care how nobody else feel. Like my feelings get hurt too.
Why do you feel like you have trouble in school?
The way I act. And then like with teachers, it's like, 'cause they already know me. It's like I can't just start on a new path. They already know me. It's like bringing on old stuff. Expecting it from me.
So, but I'm gonna challenge that 'cause you're a smart woman. You went to a second school and your teachers didn't know you there. So what happened at the second school?
At the second school, I was doing good there. I only got in trouble once, but I had to switch back from where we moved.
Mm-hmm. So at the second school, you didn't have the behavior issues. Is that true, Mom?
This new school that she just got kicked out of the third week, she did what, 4 different things? One of the things that they said she did, the teacher was telling her that, you know, you can't have your hoodie on inside to class. She refused to take it off. So the teacher asked her again and she told her, "Ugh, you're irritating me. You get on my nerves." So that was, you can't do that. Then some other girl that was there, she asked her about her sexuality and if she date girls or boys and that offended her and they don't tolerate that. I don't feel like that doing nothing wrong, asking a question. But it is. If you're not listening to the teachers and talking back, that's being disrespectful. Disrespectful and they're not gonna tolerate that and they let you know that when you first came. So that's where we at with that.
So, 'cause I wanna hear you, 'cause your thing was no one hears me. So I wanna hear you because why do you think that it wasn't too bad?
All I did was ask a question and she took it her way and I just got wrote up for it. The teacher ain't even asked me nothing about it. I didn't even know I got wrote up for it.
So did you apologize?
I couldn't. I was the last one where I got wrote up for that. I came in the office and she was there and then they told me I was going to line.
Okay, but you told your teacher she was annoying.
No, I wasn't talking to her.
Irritating. You weren't talking to her?
She told me to take my hood off and I was talking to somebody else when she was telling me that and I was talking to the person. I wasn't talking to the teacher.
Mm-hmm. But you said those words outta your mouth and she took it that way?
Yeah.
Why did you have your hood on?
Because my hair was messed up and it's cold.
So let's get to drinking with friends.
This is a text that I read when I took her phone from her that they were saying, we're gonna party this weekend, come over, we got weed, we got drink, we finna get lit. I don't know if she ever drunk before, but I know that she's smoking.
Okay, are you smoking?
Yeah.
Mm-hmm, what made you wanna smoke?
I just feel like when I was smoking, it just, Like I don't have to think about nothing.
It's a release for you, escape.
Yeah.
So how can your mom help you?
It's for her to see from my perspective. But how can I if you're not talking to me? When I try to talk to you, when I'm asking you, you don't tell me nothing.
What do you want her to see from your perspective?
Like how I be feeling sometimes. Like if, like I go to work, I go to school and I do everything. Like as soon as I get off work, she want me to, just do all this stuff. All I wanna do is go to sleep. I probably do it in the morning when I get up, when I got more energy. But she wanna yell and just try to make me do it. I'm tired. So I don't, on the day she works, she does, she be working 4 hours a day and she does go to school. I'm not having her do too much. The only thing is her room. You're going in there, you're going in your bathroom every day. So you know why, why won't you clean it up? Like I'm not just asking her like she's Cinderella and I'm making her clean the whole house. You only got your room.
Do you enjoy school?
Yeah.
Is it hard for you sometimes?
Not really.
So when you're doing your schoolwork, sometimes is it hard to stay focused?
Yeah, 'cause I get bored.
You get bored quickly?
I get bored quickly. Mm-hmm.
And so when you get bored, that's when you decide to do what?
Not do my work no more. Mm-hmm.
And then what consequences does that have?
I'll probably get behind or something.
Get behind? Does the teacher usually say something and you respond back? I'm trying to get deeper with you all, but something is going on and I gotta tell you, there's definitely a space that needs to be created for your daughter to be more vulnerable. How can you become more vulnerable with your mom? This is a real question. Because I see you're a very intelligent girl, but I also see a young woman who is assumingly shy in the way you act, but I know you're not because of the way that you act at school. So I know you like to use your voice. I know that you have your opinions. I know your opinions are strong, which are all beautiful qualities if channeled correctly. Like if those qualities are channeled correctly, girl, you could run this world. But when they're channeled incorrectly, it leads you down a wrong path. But my question for you is, is there something going on that's blocking you from feeling like you can't talk about what you're feeling. I'm watching it here. And I can understand why maybe your mom gets frustrated with y'all and y'all have those little small arguments. But for you to wanna stop those arguments, we gotta be able to know what's going on inside. What could your mom do to create a space for you to be vulnerable and talk to her?
[Speaker] I don't know, 'cause I feel like if I disrespect myself, people gonna judge me or just have something to say about it.
Yeah. So you feel like you're gonna be judged. Say it, Mom.
Why would I judge you?
Well, do you feel like judgment also comes in like the form of like punishment?
Yeah.
Okay. Because if I acted a certain way, then I get punished, so then I can't tell you what I'm going through. And this is not to blame you or anything because this is parents, this is what we do. You know, you get in trouble, you do something. But then it creates a space sometimes where Kids don't know how to communicate with us. You know, I used to do something with my kids that was very like, my sisters would be like, "What are you doing here?" They used to like be so upset. But if my sons did something wrong and they told me first, they wouldn't get punished. And what I was doing there was cultivating a space where my children knew that honesty wasn't equated with punishment, with sharing their thoughts wasn't equated to punishment. And so it allowed them even as adults Like I got a text just a minute ago where my kid was like, "Thanks for letting me talk to you, Dad." And he did something that I usually would've been like, "Are you kidding me?" But at least he was able to communicate with me, which allowed us to have a conversation of how he could be better.
I just wanna know, I just want her to be better, like be great. I know you got so much potential, Maya, you're so talented.
Listen, you're not a bad young woman and I wanna be the first one to tell you, you're not a bad young woman. I do believe that, I'm gonna talk to your mom about this and I'm gonna say this transparently in front of you. I believe you're bored at school. And I believe that there needs to be special things placed to help them to not be so bored. Because when kids are bored, then you start just being upset. You stop wearing a hoodie, you have your head down. And when somebody say something, you're like, I'm aggravated, ugh, over this. And it becomes aggression and it becomes this sort of like behavior that doesn't express what's really going on. You just told me right now, I'm bored. And I bet if we dig a little bit deeper, we could figure out like maybe in some of these classes, what are your grades like? Do you get A's, B's, C's, D's? I said a whole bunch of letters and you said all of them. What classes do you get your A's in?
Like algebra.
Algebra. Okay, that's good. So you get A's in math?
Yeah, I love math.
That makes sense because let me tell you something. Math is a formula. So if I learn the formula, I don't have to think about other stuff. I can do it. So I think about that. It's not her being bored, she just can get it and does it. And so I think there's a way of talking to her, maybe talking to her teachers or mom and just honestly about how can we figure out how to get extra assistance and her being bored in these classes and what to do. And also it's encouraging from you, mom, to say to teachers, if she's acting up, let's not punish her immediately. Let's try to have a conversation. Because the conversation could maybe lead to her feeling more heard and seen and maybe her being, you being able to like talk about what you're going through. You think so? Would it feel better to not be punished immediately and maybe have someone talk to you about what you're going through in that moment?
Yeah, 'cause then the consequence could be different when you hear me out.
When they hear you out. I got it, I got it. Listen, there's just things here where I do think that you're making bad choices. You already know the weed, you already know the things, You're also trying to process your father coming in because behavior started 2 years ago when you started doing some of these mother things the same time 2 years ago your father came in your life. And so I gotta say to you, Mom, all these things are going on. You don't have a bad daughter.
I know that.
But I tell you, yeah, I know you know that. And also you're not a bad mom. I actually think you're probably an exceptional mother. I think you're pretty exceptional and I just wanna let you know that. But I think there needs to be a shift and how you're mothering and realize that some of the things that you were doing before have to shift. So some of the stuff of like, you know, you apologize for saying, "I'm sending you to your daddy." We gotta stop that because she finally, after she said, "I don't care, I don't care," she said, "It makes me sad." And so if I'm bored at school and I'm sad when you do these things and I feel overwhelmed and I feel like I'm always in trouble, now all I'm gonna do is you've told me that I'm bad. You told me I'm bad. You told me I'm bad. If someone tells you something, after a while you start to believe it.
That's true.
You know what I mean? And it's gonna be difficult. It's gonna be difficult. But I gave you some action steps. Do you think that at one point you'll be able to talk to your mom a little bit more?
Yeah.
Well, I think there's a little bit of a first step here, okay?
Yeah, I appreciate it. Thank you.
When did things start to change? When did you and your granddaughter start to butt heads?
About 3 years ago.
3 years?
When she was in the 10th grade, she started dating. Yeah. She gonna tell me she's dating. I'm like, what are you talking about? Well, I'm dating. That's the day she start becoming grown, thinking she can say what she wanna say to me, do what she wanna do, and totally disrespectful ways.
So how is she being disrespectful?
Zaniya tell me what she's gonna do. That's totally disrespectful. You don't tell me what you're gonna do. I took the initiative to raise 4 grandchildren outta respect of my daughter.
You took the kids in because your daughter unfortunately passed?
She's passed away.
Yes.
I've raised each one of these children from birth. Although their mother was there, I had them because she wanted to go run the street.
Got it.
So I sacrificed my whole life.
Yeah. So what happened in October when the police was called?
I went to pick her up from school and we had this conversation. It was me and her brother in the car. And Zaniya said something to the fact about her boyfriend. And I said, Zaniya, you need to calm down. We wasn't even supposed to be on that conversation. She was going off and I slapped the shit outta her. I slapped the shit outta her, beat her up, made her get out my car and called the police on her ass.
So how did it escalate to that part of the fighting?
Her running her mouth.
Yeah.
She got a mouth that you'll kill her. Her mouth is ridiculous.
Yeah.
And I don't have to stand for that.
Why did you tell Zaniah you would shoot her in the foot? And keep her in the house? 'Cause that's, I can be real and I understand the disrespect, but that's violent language.
She'll take you there.
Okay.
She will take you there. I'm up here with Zaniya.
Yeah.
And I did say I shoot her ass in the toe.
Yeah.
I will, I'm tired. I ain't gonna kill her, I love her, I ain't gonna hurt her, but she need to listen. These young folk these days, I don't know what the hell wrong with 'em.
Let me tell you something. This must be an old Black family thing because I swear to God, I had a family, I'm not gonna say, I almost said who it was, used to say to me, if you get outta line, I'm gonna shoot you in the foot so that every time you take a step, you remember not to get outta line. And I used to look at them when I was 14, I'd be like, you gonna shoot me in the foot?
It was.
And hear it again, I used to think that was only me and to hear it again now.
Yes, it ain't went nowhere.
Okay, it ain't went nowhere.
No, no. Wow. 'Cause I'm old school.
Yeah.
I'm old school and that's the best way to be.
So you talked to me about her mother who died in a car accident in 2012. I wanna know what was your relationship like with her?
It wasn't good.
Yeah.
I mean, I couldn't do nothing for her 'cause she was running the street. I had to take care of her damn children.
Is that why you're so protective of Zaniya?
I'm protective of each and every last one of them.
Yeah.
Because I'm gonna tell you, her mother, I was trying to be protective over her, but she was, being hardheaded and went out there and passed away because I told her not to do something, not to go somewhere, even my husband.
Yeah.
So.
You know, I gotta tell you, I know that there's been some time since 2012, but I know you're still grieving because I heard the language. You kept referring to your daughter as her mother.
Yeah.
Which there's a mental and emotional block that you have in there.
Yeah.
Have you ever spent time to think about that and to go with that?
No, I haven't had time.
I understand.
I raised these children from 3, 4, 5, 6, all the way up to now. I haven't had time to take care of myself and I'm tired now. I'm taking initiative to take care of myself.
I'll be there.
Yeah. I'll be there.
Well, listen, I'm talking to Sharee who is afraid of losing her granddaughter like she lost her own daughter. I think it's time that we hear from Zaniya. Everyone please welcome young Zaniya to the show. Adson, I can have a hug?
Mm-hmm.
Thank you. How are you doing today?
I'm good.
Good, good, good. You smell lovely.
Thank you.
So I gotta ask you a question and I want you to be honest 'cause I can already tell you're a smart girl. Do you think you're disrespectful to your grandmother?
I don't think I'm disrespectful to her. I mean, I asked her like, what's her definition of disrespectful or how I'm being disrespectful to her? But she can't tell me why.
So I'm gonna ask you from your own, 'cause again, I want to go from you. What do you think the definition of disrespect is?
You know, calling you out your name type and just like extreme ruthless behavior.
Calling out your name and extreme rudeness.
I know what she talking about 'cause I calls her a bitch. Why should I have to listen to you? You have to listen to me. I know you have feelings. But I'm the adult and I'm not gonna tell you nothing wrong, honey. You can't expect me to sit there, listen to you talk, and that's it, that's done. No, I'll give you your chance to talk. And when I talk, you overtalk me and change it to how you feel. Okay.
Do you feel like that ever happens?
No.
Okay.
No.
Yeah.
I give her a chance to talk, she don't never give me a damn chance to talk. That's why I slapped the shit outta her. When we was in the damn car.
Okay.
'Cause she kept running her mouth. In the car, I told you, you kept referring to me as my mom and my dad. I told you, stop doing that 'cause I'm not them. I wasn't here when they was around. I'm not them. No, you only talk— You can't refer to me as them. And I tell you all the time, be better than your mama and daddy. Don't be like them. So that's a lie.
Your grandmother is overprotective from her own words.
She knows that.
How does that affect you?
Okay, so I'm 17, as we all know. Duh. But to her, she treat me like I'm 10, like I'm young. Like she told me put a tracker on me. I had a tracker on me all the time. And it's like even with a tracker on, without a tracker on, she want me to tell her step by step what I'm doing. It's only for your safety. No. No, you got it wrong. You got it wrong. Even when I'm out with my friends, I can tell her I'm going to them all. She got it wrong. What time you gonna be back home? I come in your house at a respectful time. I don't come in 12, 11. I don't come in none of that. I be there at 9 o'clock or 10.
Is that true? She always comes at a respectful time?
No.
You told my producers that you said that you're not going to end up like your mother and grandmother.
What do you mean by that? Yes, because Grandma, she'll always tell me, I grew up like this. When I grew up, I had to do this and I had to do that. I'm not like you. I don't, I'm not, how I grew up is not how you grew up. So you tell me life is a circle, I'ma think outside that circle. I'ma think, you keep holding me in, it's gonna make me wanna go out and do something crazy. I understand what she's saying. Again, I'm not that type of person. She'll probably be like, oh, you go out here and go wild with these boys. I am not that type of person. I don't let no boy influence me. I influence myself.
Yes.
That's good.
I wanna know more about you. How are you in school? How are you? Are you a good student?
Yes, I have made principal list.
The reason I ask that is because I asked my producers to ask you for your report card. You are getting a 3.1. That's great. Your grades are phenomenal.
Yes.
I also heard you're taking aerospace science.
Yes, I'm in ROTC.
Yeah, you're in business technology, you're in multicultural literature, your GPA is a 3.1, and all your teachers recommended you as one of the best students in the class.
To school. Yes. They tell me that. They tell me that. Yes. But as soon as she get home with me, here we go. Yeah. The damn mouth.
Yeah.
It don't be the mouth. I appreciate all of that. I appreciate all of that. You can't take how I feel. You put it in, you view it something totally different in your head, and that was disrespectful. I've asked you, how is it disrespectful? You can't even tell me. So until you could tell me, I can't fix nothing. Zaniya, you cannot talk back to me. That's the number one thing. You cannot talk back to me. Me explaining how I feel is talking back to you? No. When I walk away from Zaniya, there you go. I got a problem with that. So be it. I got a problem with that. I have you. I have you. I will not have that around me. Literally, she'll try to argue with me. Yes, I do walk away because I know myself. So I walk away to calm myself down. And she would come follow me and she would keep going till I say something back to her. And it's not gonna stop until I say something back to her. You right. 'Cause if I ask you to go wash the dishes, I mean for you to go wash the dishes now. Don't walk away from me and not say nothing to me. You can even say, "Uh-oh, Grandma, I ain't gonna do it right now." I do it then. I wash the dishes. She making it seem like I don't wash the dishes. I wash the dishes. But she thinks— Like, it feels like I'm the only child in the house that's doing something.
Can you describe to me what it felt like when Sharee kicked you out? When your grandmother kicked you out?
I was real confused on like, why you, like, why she kicked me out? Because like I said, I didn't hit her, I didn't touch her, she hit me. You told me I had to go, so I had to go. Simple.
What did that do for you? What did that do to you? That break from your grandmother?
No, the police told her she had to go. No, she—
What did that do to you? Because you're a young woman who's maturing and growing right now and like you're trying to figure out the world and I see it, I understand you're trying to figure out what to do, how to be better. And I know you have your grandmother's guidance, but these moments still affect you and stay with you. So how did that affect you knowing that like I have to get out now?
I mean, it's like I'm leaving my brothers behind. It's like you taking me away from them pretty much just because you're mad. I can't classify her feelings. I mean, I be trying to do stuff with Zaniya. I really do. I even bought us coloring books to color. Zaniya wants me to be on her time. I'm not on her time. She got to come on my time 'cause I got a whole lot of stuff to deal with. And when I don't do what she want me to do, there you go.
She shut me down. What do you want to happen today?
I don't know what Zaniya need to do.
But what do you want to happen today?
I'm done.
You done?
I'm done.
'Cause I actually don't believe that 'cause I know you're here today. I don't believe that.
Okay.
I don't. Because the thing is, is that I know the love in your heart. And also I gotta say, I'm gonna just give you this. The same way you haven't had time to focus on the grief of losing your child, there's things that are still unprocessed in her mind.
Oh, she also, On that same day the police came, she even told me if she had the choice to keep my brothers and give me away, she would've did.
So I know you know.
Hell, I done raised too many girls in my lifetime. I ain't want no more. I ain't wanna deal with that no more. I didn't wanna deal with that no more.
I get it, but that language right there.
I know.
Yeah.
I know.
But can you, I know you know, but see the thing is is that Even in our exhaustion, we have to remember that our main intention was to protect, and your words are not protecting her in this moment. Would you be able to, and I'm gonna get to her, so don't think I'm just staying on you. I'm gonna get to her. Would you be able to at least apologize for this language that you're using to her and understand that a young girl just like you who lost her daughter, she lost her mother, and hearing the one woman figure I have in my life tell me, "I'm done. I don't want no more girls." These things that I understand the context, that could be hurting her and could cause more damage in the long run. Can you at least apologize to her for that?
I will apologize and I have apologized to Zaniya. Zaniya boyfriend mother.
Yes.
Now I got a damn problem with that.
Okay, okay.
Because you being my granddaughter, accepted this woman as your mama, grandmama, what the fuck ever. I had a problem with that.
Got it.
So if she through with me, I'm through with her.
Got it.
I have apologized to her about that plenty of times.
Yes, I got it.
I don't have to deal with that.
Here, thank you for sharing.
And I raised her.
That makes more sense. This makes more sense. Thank you for sharing that because what's going on—
I raised her.
There was the issues with your own daughter and her not being able to listen to you there's a rejection that you experience.
Yeah, right. She rejects me all the time.
And so it's being mimicked, but vice versa.
All the time.
You're feeling that same rejection when she says that.
I don't talk to his mama like that. She seem like I'm just turning her away and going to her. I talk to her more than anything.
One of the big lessons that you're gonna learn as a young woman is the same way that I'm here to validate your feelings, her feelings are valid too. But I think there's a big, thing here that we have to remember, two big things. First of all, for you, you said that apology, would you be able to do it again for me right here so that way I can tell you that?
Of course, of course. I love you. I love you and I really apologize. I apologize and love you. And we need to work on us.
Yes.
Just me and you.
The second thing is, is that for you, this still is your grandmother. And so part of it is that there's things that as a young woman you'll never understand. And there's one, a third piece, I'm gonna get you, don't worry. But there's big things you have to understand. And with her, there's a level of respect that even though she's become a maternal figure, she's still a grandmother. So there's that extra level. And even though it's difficult for sometimes for you to manage that, I get it because you're showing like, I'm good at school, I'm here. Yeah. You have to find the strength in yourself in those moments moments to be able to find a new way to communicate. So I know you know to some degree when you say something to her and you say no or you question her, you know what you're doing.
Yes, you do.
Do you? Yes, you know what you're doing. And I ain't that smart. And I acknowledge it.
But I can figure it out.
And I acknowledge it. It's because you're mimicking her behavior. She said things, so you're gonna show her. But there are levels that you have to be respectful. You have to be respectful. So can you commit to saying, I'm gonna start, When she says, "Hey, I need you to do this," this is still your caretaker. She is still the one who is providing a home for you, clothes for you, everything else. You have to be able to respect that. And you going around and stuff with your boyfriend and doing things like that, it hurts her. So you have to make sure that you're not being disrespectful. Is that something you can commit to?
Yes.
Y'all can take those steps.
Of course.
Trust.
I'm willing to communicate.
Better communication with the language and know that I'm not gonna reject you, you don't reject me. Can you do that?
Yes. Yes.
Yeah? Good, good. I'll give your grandma a hug. We gonna figure this out. It's all right. Welcome to the show, friends. My guest Kaya said she's afraid that her mother Stephanie's reckless behavior is rubbing off on her little brother Troy. For years, Kaya has watched her mother float in and out of jail for lying and stealing. And now Kaya says her brother is following his mother's footsteps. He's suspended from school for smoking weed. Stealing cars, breaking into homes, taking a gun to school, and getting arrested for assault. And he's just 13 years old. Kaya wants my help to convince her mom that her behavior is affecting her son. Let's welcome Kaya to the show. Hi, Kaya.
Hi. How you doing? Hi.
Oh, nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you as well.
You are beautiful.
Thank you.
You're welcome. So Kya, tell me, what made you call the show?
Back in December, my mom and Troy, they got into a heated argument. She asked him to turn down his TV. He went to the room and unplugged her TV, put it on the bed. In the midst of that, he ended up leaving his controller and his headset in the room. She kicked him out the room. He was upset about leaving that. And she ended up kicking him out of the house after a heated argument. It got really bad. It was in December, so it was really cold. And so he was out there for 3 hours. In the cold? Yeah, in the cold. And that resulted in him catching pneumonia.
Oh my gosh.
Yes. And the police had to be called. And it just, it really breaks my heart that—
Of course.
That he had to go through that.
So you said your mom has changed, how so?
She, I used to see her in a different type of light in my opinion. She was a lot more like outgoing. She didn't sleep as much, not as like verbally aggressive. Now it's, her appearance has kind of changed and she sleeps a lot and she kind of lashes out a lot more.
Do you think she's a drug addict?
Yes.
So you heard Kai say that she thinks that you're the reason that that your son is going down a wrong path. What are your thoughts on that?
I may have had some kind of influence on him, but actually since Troy been, he's 13. So in the last 13 years, I have not had any issues with shoplifting at all.
Is there anything that you feel that was said that was unfair or not true?
Some of the things, a lot of it is true. A lot of it is, kind of maybe rocky from what she could remember. Basically when Troy was born, I had already been to prison. I had got married to his dad. We got a divorce 'cause of drugs and things like that. So when we got a divorce, his dad pretty much kept him from me for a long time. So Troy went to a stage where he was going back and forth from mom to dad even as he got older. So when he gets in trouble at my house, he'll go to his dad's house, vice versa, back and forth. So it was nothing pretty much real stable for him.
But— So you think the lack of stability is the reason he's acting out?
Exactly.
Can I ask you a question? Mm-hmm. Are you still using drugs?
No.
Are you using drugs at all?
No.
Okay. So why do you think Kaya thinks you're using drugs?
'Cause at one time I was using drugs. Mm-hmm.
When did it stop?
I don't know. Maybe a year.
Maybe a year?
Mm-hmm.
Okay. I'm gonna ask you a question. Would you be willing to take a drug test? Drug test here. You would be willing?
Yeah.
This is good because I think for me, part of your daughter's concern is the drugs and I think it's important that we do that so that way that's off the table and then we're talking about discipline and whatever other boundaries or structural issues is going on in the house. So I would love to take you backstage now to do the drug test, is that okay? Everyone, please welcome Troy to the show. Hey Troy. We met backstage already. Can I have another handshake? May I have a hug as well?
Thank you.
All right, there we go. All right, take a seat next to your sister.
What's up, bro?
So I'm gonna ask you, could be a hard question, but you're a very smart young man. Do you think your mom's a bad influence on you?
Yeah.
You do? And why do you feel that way?
The people she bring around me.
Who does she bring around you?
She got somebody in the house named Luther that be around me and he be calling her B words and stuff. And one time he, when she was gone, I think she was at work, he had got mad at me 'cause me and my friends, they had came to the house and we was playing hide and go seek in the house. And so he had got mad at me Then put his hands around my neck and then hit me against the wall.
Wow. I'm very sorry that happened to you.
And then he tried to fight my friend. Then he called the police on us. Wow.
Did the police come?
Yeah.
And what did they do?
And all they said it was discipline.
That's what he said?
That's what the police said.
That it was just being, it was just discipline. Yeah. That's why normally you need somebody who works in social services to come out and assess those situations. Because we would have a different lens. So what's your relationship like with your mom?
It's good.
Do y'all have fun? Do y'all argue? Sometimes. 'Cause your sister said y'all argue a lot about things. What do y'all normally argue about?
Cleaning up around the house. Like, she'll like, if she picking up something that I didn't see, she'll start talking, like start saying, she'll start getting mad, talking, like start yelling.
Yeah. You said, you told my producers that your mom said something that really upset you. What was it?
She said she hated me and she wished I was dead.
Wow. When did she say that?
In December.
So recently. I'm sorry she said that. It's okay. What did that make you feel like when your mom said that? Didn't make me feel like nothing. Made you feel like nothing? So what happens when your mom leaves you all day?
She leave me all day. I get worried sometimes. I call her, she don't answer. I call her back to back to back, she don't answer. Then I call who she be with, he answered and he gotta wake her up. And then she talk to me and then she say she gonna be at the house. But when I got a call, like she say she'll be there in 5 minutes. I wait an hour or so and she's still not there, she'll fall right back to sleep.
Stephanie, thank you for being back here. So did you hear anything of what Troy said backstage?
I've never said I hate him. I never said I wish he was dead. What I actually said was I hated his behavior. Mama, you did say you hated him though. I didn't say I hate him personally. I hate his behavior. It's a difference. I can hate the behavior but not the person.
But both of your kids are saying that they heard you say those exact words. And sometimes parents say—
That I hate him?
Yeah, sometimes in the heat of the moment, I'm not saying this, I'm not excusing it, but sometimes in the heat of a moment, parents have said things that is not healthy that they could regret. So is there a possibility, 'cause if your son and daughter are both saying that you said it, that you might be saying it.
You heard me say I hate Troy while we were on the phone? I didn't say I hate him. Mom, I'm not trying to make you look bad or anything like that. I can't tell, but— No, I'm just trying to make sure like we can, change and go forward. It's not to make you look good. Well, this is more about me than about what I thought. Well, it's because of his behavior. So his behavior is influenced by you. And so since he— actually, his behavior is not influenced by me. Because I'm not the only person that takes part in his life. You know how he lashes out and he's like, I don't want to be here and all that. Sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off. But I'm not the only person that he's with when he's lashing out.
Out. Well, he'd also just said that there's a guy named Luther in the house. Did you know about these fights with Luther?
Oh yeah.
You did?
Yeah.
And how does it make you feel knowing that this person put their hands on him and choked him and did these things?
Oh my God, I couldn't believe it actually. And I'm doing everything I can in that situation and he knows it to change that situation. I mean, we have a lot going on versus what we're talking about here. As far as like living arrangements and things like that?
Sure. So are you living with him right now?
He's living with me.
He's living with him. So once he choked your son, why did you ask him to leave?
I did.
You did? And what happened?
I did. He's left. We come home, he's moved back in. He's supposed to be leaving now. Mom, you can make him leave, like, you know, he can—
Yeah, how does he have access back into the house? If you've told him to leave and it's your home, and again, hopefully you can hear from the tone of my voice, there's not judgment coming from, these are genuine just questions. If you've asked him to leave, then why hasn't he left?
Good question. Obviously I can't say I've tried everything. I can't say just leave if he has mail come there. It's a legal issue. But you can give him like a 30-day eviction. I did that too so we can put Troy first. I did.
Troy, you don't feel heard right now? Do you feel heard? Do you feel like we're hearing what's going on or do you feel like your mom's hearing you?
You gotta sit up, bro, 'cause, you know.
I know this can be difficult. You got cameras here, you got your mom, you don't wanna make anybody mad, you know what I mean?
Let her know how you feel. Let Mama know how you feel.
You can tell her. This is a safe place for you. Talk to her.
Come on, I'm listening. Karamo, come on. She listening. You know, you say nobody listen to you, we listening. Well, just so you know, I never have. If I said I hate you, I apologize 'cause I don't hate you and I don't wish that you were not born. Just so, just wanna put that out there.
How do you feel when your mom says that? Do you believe her?
Yeah, but what I know, I know when she get mad, she gonna end up saying it again.
She ended up saying things that she didn't mean. Yeah. Earlier you took a drug test and we have the results now. I don't know if it's negative or positive, but Troy, would you mind if I just spent adult time with your sister and mom? We'll talk? Yeah. We're gonna take you backstage. You did a good job though. For me, I didn't want your son out here in case this is positive. Just because it wouldn't be right for that conversation to be in front of him. Kai is older, we can have those conversations. Hopefully, I just wanted to let you know why I did that. Stephanie, you have tested positive for weed and cocaine. So you are still using cocaine.
It's been a while. It has not been a year, but it has been a while.
So the way that this works is that it would only pop up Cocaine is in your system within the last 7 days. A couple of days. So that means at least in the last 7 days you've used.
Okay.
Yeah. So cocaine does affect people's behavior, their attitudes, makes them sleep a lot, causes depression, causes a lot of things. I gotta ask you, why do you think you need to use drugs?
I don't think I need to use them. I don't have no consistent addiction. In her defense, you know, back in her time they did flood the streets with drugs. I'm not saying she didn't know. I mean, like, I'm not giving her an excuse, but during that time it was a big chunk of people who did fall victim to drugs.
No, no, of course, listen, I know the history of America with drugs in the Black community.
Yeah.
But today we gotta talk about what's happening here because we have you in a house where now I know you've tested positive, which which probably means the person who's in your house who you're trying to get out is using as well, which would explain his behavior of choking your son. It would explain all of this. This all becomes a lot clearer to me now. Do you think you can stop?
Yes.
And do you want to stop?
Yes.
You wanna stop? Mm-hmm. Okay. Well, for me right now, the behavior that your son is exhibiting, we wouldn't be able to even get to today because we have to, We have to get you to a place as his mother where you can feel healthy enough. And so there's really no real resolution that can happen today on my show because again, as I tell you all the time, this is not for TV for me. This is real life. We all understand that there's been drug use and so that will allow us to figure out how to help you so that way your son can get help. Do you feel that? What do you want for your son? Do you like that he's stealing, that he's doing these?
But he doesn't steal it. That's one of the things that we did break.
Okay.
For him. He does not steal.
I don't steal. He told my producers that he still does.
Yeah, he told me when I was on the phone with him when y'all was in that store. Yeah, he was trying to steal the iPhone. He was like, oh, I could take this iPhone.
And you know he took a gun to school?
Yes.
So I'm just saying right there, took a gun to school. He took a gun to school.
I thought it was somebody else that took the gun and he took, 'cause he didn't have, he didn't have a gun.
No, he said he took it. These are things that he told us directly from him.
Himself.
He also fought a teacher.
Yeah, I do.
Anger issues. So the thing is, is that yes, he is still stealing. Yes, he is fighting. He's doing these things. He's lashing out and it makes sense to me now. He feels as if he's lost. Do you want your son to go to jail one day?
Of course not.
I know you don't. What do you want Troy to take away from this?
I do want him to at least be comfortable with with where he lives. That's most definitely important.
So you wanna be comfortable? Okay, you wanna be comfortable, I get that and I respect that. Right now, your son needs to be in a place where he can get stable.
Well, the only other choice that he would go to is also a family that's also not stable, so. He can come with me.
There we go, hold on. Kaya, because if your mother's saying that his father's house is not stable, Are you willing to take him with your brother?
Yes, me and my fiancé Ben said we'll take him.
Are you willing? So right now?
No, we've already talked about that.
Are you willing?
Mm-hmm.
You're willing? Mm-hmm. That's a resolution. Yay! So while you're willing, while your daughter's willing to take Troy, are you willing? I can figure out how to get you the help you need because you said you don't wanna be on drugs. I can figure out how to help you get that help so that way you're getting support, he's getting support, and now you're working towards a better tomorrow. Tomorrow. Yeah. Do you want that?
Yeah.
Now, great. So no more with his father. Your daughter says she'll step up and we'll figure out how to help you get the help you need. Yes. Christina is a single mom of 16 and 13-year-old daughters. Christina says she struggles with being the mom, dad, and best friends for her kids and is exhausted. She wants my help to unlock the root cause of everyone's anger and frustration within her family. Please welcome Christina to the show.
Hi, how are you doing?
Can I give you a hug?
Yes, sir.
Nice to meet you. You're very well. Thank you. So you said that your 16-year-old daughter Anaya has an attitude problem. Tell me what's going on.
She just feels like she's the parent in the situation at all times. She don't never give me a chance to be the parent, be the mom. I know I try to be the friend, best friend, father, try to be everything to them and give them everything they want. And it seems like it's just never good enough for them.
What do you think the root problem is?
That's why I'm here to try to figure it all out.
Yeah, okay. And so you're raising, 2 teens 'cause you have a 16-year-old Anaya and then you also have Aaliyah that is 13?
Yes, sir.
Yeah, so how's that affecting you?
It's just, it's making me go into a far deep depression and I don't know how to overcome it. I don't know how to get out of the shell. I just wanna be by myself at all times and I know that they need me. Yeah. It's just getting too hard for me to do it all by myself at all times. I was a single mom, I've been a single mom, I've been, I had my daughter when I was 17, so I feel like I gave up all my teen years and raised them. And it seems like now I feel like they don't need me as much as they did when they were littler. So it's like, what am I supposed to do now with my life? Like, you know?
Yeah. Okay, so you told my producers that you feel like your household isn't stable. What do you mean by that?
With me being, I'm not gonna blame it on nobody besides myself, me being in depression and, Not wanting to get outta bed, not trying to make rent and make bills. I fell into a hole and got ourself put out, an eviction. And it's a lot for all of us to go through.
When did you start? 'Cause you said again that, you know, the apartment that you got evicted because you were just feeling stressed. When did that start? A year ago, 2 years?
It started when my arm got broke. My wrist got broke. We had an altercation. And I got shoved down some stairs by a significant other and it broke my arm last year. I was in a cast for 6 months. I still baby it as we speak. It's just barely healing.
Got it. So I hear you talk about Anaya, the 16-year-old, of the issue she's having. Are you worried about the 13-year-old? Oh yeah. Aaliyah?
'Cause I feel like Aaliyah's gonna follow Anaya's footsteps. She's gonna follow, she's more of a, I wouldn't say, She's a follower more than a leader.
How's she doing in school? Not good.
Not good at all.
Okay.
Not good at all.
Is it behavior or grades?
Grades. She's a very good kid. She just doesn't, well, she's a good kid when she wants to be a good kid. Let me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
When she wants to be a good kid.
Is there anything reckless that Aaliyah has done?
Yeah, just staying out all night. Aaliyah, when she's around certain friends and certain people, she happens to be, I call her my no limit soldier. There's no limit to her craziness when she's around certain people. She'll think it's okay to be walking around wandering the streets at 1, 2 o'clock in the morning.
And she's 13?
13, yes. And they know when I go to sleep, I'm asleep. I'm a heavy sleeper. Yeah. And sometimes I'll take some PM pills just to get the good Z's in. And that's when they take, full advantage of me.
Does she help out around the house, Aaliyah?
Not at all.
Okay.
Not at all.
What about Anaya?
Anaya, yes.
But Aaliyah says no.
Not at all. It's like pulling teeth with Aaliyah.
All right, listen, before we meet 16-year-old Anaya and her 13-year-old sister Aaliyah, take a look at what they had to say about the situation.
I'm 16 and my sister Aaliyah is 13. I've been taking care of myself since 12 years old. I help my mom with financial needs. How my mornings are right now, waking up, going to school, well, finding a ride to school, coming back, seeing if my mom's home or not, then I go to work. And then from work, make sure everybody eats, especially my grandma. Then making sure that all the kids have their stuff done and make sure that they have everything ready for tomorrow morning. I'm worried about my sister because I don't want to see her in the streets or anything like that. You're just always outside, and I'm not always outside. I think my sister acts like that because nobody gives her attention. No one actually will talk to me and say like, how's your day going? Like, no one does that. I do not spend no bonding time with my mom just because of the reason that she's just always at work or she's just doing something than anybody else. She could walk in the house and we'll already know, like, don't mess with her. Mom, I want you to show us more attention, spend more time with us, and make sure that we have our priorities straight and you put us first than anybody else.
Well, first I'm going to talk to 16-year-old Anaya. Welcome Anaya to the show, please. Hi, Anaya.
Hi. Can I have a hug?
Yes. Nice to meet you. You too. Take a seat next to your mom. So I can see in your eyes you're getting emotional.
Yes.
What was going on through your mind?
I just want her to start, you know, not take us to school, but it's more of, you know, waking up, making sure that we're good. But how are the mornings, Anaya? Our mornings are hectic, right? Are hectic, yeah. Why do I wanna put myself in that position? You guys are grown enough to take care of, get up, brush your teeth, do your hair. You look beautiful now. You know how to get yourself dressed and get to school. Right, it's just more of, you know, like all I see when I go to school is parents dropping their kids off. That's all we want. And not you guys. And not you guys sleeping. Left the attitudes in bed and in your dreams, maybe I would have been motivated to get up and cook you guys breakfast and make sure you guys have a good morning and get to school. Okay, your daughter has a hole in her tooth and you're not doing nothing, right? How long was I with my broken arm for? It's not our fault. It's our medical, it's our insurance. Right. It's not my fault. It's not always completely my fault. It's our insurance that's giving us all the runaround. Right, it is our insurance's fault. So don't make it seem like I'm not just paying attention to your medical needs.
Your daughter's backstage and I wanna go back there and talk to her because my producers told me that she's actually back there crying. Y'all mind if I take a moment to go back there and talk to her?
Mm-hmm.
Do you feel like you get attention from your mom?
No.
No? Why?
She puts more attention on my sister than me. I don't like it.
Why do you think she gives your sister more attention?
Because she, my sister helps around the house and she has a job, so she puts more attention than my, Anaya than me.
You wanna come out here and sit with her?
Yeah.
So did you hear what Aaliyah said back?
Yes, I did.
She feels like you don't give her any attention because you give it to Aniah all the time.
But she hit it right on the nose too because she said she don't help around the house. It seems like if I give her the attention, it's gonna be negative attention because she don't wanna help do nothing around the house. She don't wanna listen. She wants to just do what Aaliyah wants to do. Yeah. So I kind of, I do kind of exit her out Okay, Anaya, we're gonna do this. We gotta get this done. We gotta get that done. We gotta get this. Leah, she's just gonna procrastinate and drag it along and make the job harder than what it actually is. So I kind of X her out and put my focus on Anaya. Like, I know Anaya's gonna help me. I know she's gonna get the job done. I know we're gonna come together as a team.
I want you to listen to the language you're using. I want you to listen to the language you're using.
Okay.
And I know you're exhausted and I know you're overwhelmed overwhelmed, just like many mothers are around this world. But you're saying things like, I'm going to X her out.
Not X her out completely.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Again, that's why I prefaced it first to let you know. But when she don't wanna get back in the school. But the language, but the language. She's still a kid. So even if you X somebody out for the time being, imagine when you were 17 and somebody judged your choice and X'd you out for the time being. What did you feel?
Neglected, left out.
Neglected, left out. Talk to your daughter.
It's just hard, Aaliyah, when you don't listen. You know I got a short temper. I get frustrated a lot. It's like if you're slowing me down, I'm gonna, I don't wanna say X you out 'cause you will never be X'd out in my life. I'll always love you and support you and be there for you. But it's like you don't make stuff easy for me around the house and you know that. You know what you be doing.
Aaliyah, do you stay home from school?
Yes.
Why?
Because I don't like waking up in the morning.
And why don't you like waking up in the morning?
I don't know. I don't, I really don't know.
Aaliyah, do you feel sad? You feel sad a lot?
Mm-hmm. Not all the time, but sometimes, yeah.
What I would love is for you two ladies to go back, get a drink of water, relax. I think y'all have done a very great job. Listen, at 16 and 13, I don't know if I could do it. And I'm proud of y'all. Like, y'all did amazing. But I want y'all to take a break of water. Can y'all go get something, relax? Y'all cool with that break? Yeah. Okay, cool.
Come on.
They said they need your attention. And so I get it. You say, "Well, they put me in the attitude." But one of the big things you can do to give attention is you have to find some way, and I know it's hard, and I'm gonna try to give you some more tools outside of this, just to at least get up in the morning. You see that little girl there? Every morning you fight with her and every morning your daughter has to fight with her. She's mimicking your behavior. I'm too sad, I give up on the world. Can you commit to at least saying, "I'm gonna get up." get up in the morning?
Yes, sir.
You can?
Anything for my kids, yes. If that's gonna be a big help and to see some type of positive results, I'll get up bright and early cooking breakfast every morning, yes.
I believe it, I believe it, I believe it. This is the second piece that I think we can commit to where you don't feel extra overwhelmed is that I gotta ask you, when you feel like they're not stepping up, for you not to react the way that you've been reacting. Instead, react as like you're a kid. And I know that's hard. This is gonna be a big one.
That's the, you're asking for too much now. No, I'm just like.
No, I get it, I get it. But they're 16 and 13-year-old. Like when your daughter just says she has 3 jobs, I know you're not asking for money. I heard it. You said, I'm not asking for your money. I'm not doing anything. But that's still too hard for a 16-year-old girl to have to do.
because sometimes they think they're the president's daughter and they're used to a lifestyle that I used to be able to support. And that's.
But the way you break them out of that is, first of all by not saying it's your fault sometimes.
Mom, I spoiled them. I told me, like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Because listen, I could have already pinpointed this before you even went there. That's language somebody put in your head to tell you, you know what? Listen, you spoiling these kids. And now the repercussions. Now you're like, oh, I did spoil.
Spoil 'em.
No, no, no, no, no. Because that type of language is what's keeping you depressed. That type of language is what keeps you feeling down on yourself. When people tell you, look what you did, and you start believing it, guess what happens? You start breaking yourself down even more. So you gotta remove that language.
Okay.
You were there for your mother and you provided for your kids. You gave. And now you don't have it to give.
Yeah.
It doesn't make you a bad mom and you shouldn't feel guilty for it. I wanna bring back your daughters out now, right?
Okay.
The reason I asked her to get off stage is because right now mom is going through a hard moment. She's going through a real hard moment and that shouldn't be shouldered on y'all. But I'm gonna tell y'all this, as someone who's just met your mother, there's a strong side of y'all mom and a very amazing side.
Yeah.
That once she starts to make these commitments that I just talked to her about, y'all gonna see. Now one of the things is y'all know that financially y'all going through it right now, right? Mm-hmm. Y'all know it.
Yeah.
And so there's two things that I heard, and I wanna do this for you and for you and for you. I wanna send you to a dentist. I'm gonna make an appointment for you today. You go. And for you, and for you, 'cause I know how hard school can be, especially when you don't have the support. I'm gonna get you that tutor.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
You're welcome. How do y'all feel about that?
Good. It feels good. It feels good knowing that, you know, family's always supposed to be there, but you know, just other outsiders are caring, actually caring and actually listening and knowing that what we're actually going through and that this is actually a hard time for us. We're not coming out here just to just do it. We're actually coming out here to get help. And this is just one big thing that I'm really thankful for.
Well, I appreciate you thanking me, but I gotta tell you something. The thanks doesn't go to me. The thanks goes to your mom.
Thank you.
Thank you. I know that right now it seems like she's not the one that's providing that, but the only reason that I'm able to provide it is because your mom was just vulnerable enough with me and she was able to sign off to bring y'all here.
Thank you so much. I do appreciate you.
You're a young woman, you're a young woman, but especially for you, you gotta make some commitments too, okay? Your mother's saying she's gonna commit to waking up. You said you gonna commit to wake up with her. Now I know you going out because you want that attention. You don't feel like you're getting it at home. You feel like all the focus on your sister. When you feel like you're not getting the attention, I need you to be a woman. The young woman I know you can be. And I need you to calmly say to your mom, I need you to love me louder right now. Because I think as young people, especially as young women, we don't know how to scream out that way. We start screaming out in other ways. This goes for you too. I need you to love me louder instead of going out in the streets, instead of being upset. And this is the same thing for y'all when y'all talking because it's easy for everybody to catch an attitude. And I already know this, full of attitude in this house.
Yeah.
You be catching attitudes, you catch attitudes, you catch attitudes, right? But that attitude is actually just because y'all are hurting. People don't realize that. And then when you see sisters and mothers catching attitudes, 'cause everybody's just hurt and they don't know how to say it. So instead of saying, instead of like having the attitude, just say, I need you to love me a little louder right now. And sometimes love me louder means, hey, can you give me 5 minutes to take a breath? Sometimes loving me louder means giving me a hug. Sometimes loving me a little bit louder saying, I'm gonna wake up.
Yeah.
Just say that instead. Can you promise me that?
Yes.
What you gonna say to your mama if you feeling sad, if you feel like you wanna be outside, if you feel like you don't wanna go to school, what you gonna say?
Mama, I want you to love me louder. Okay.
You hear that?
Louder. For you. Say it louder. Mom, I want you to love me louder.
Yes. According to Ronesha, her kids have grown up into troubled teens who are smoking weed, fighting at school, getting expelled, and facing armed robbery charges. Take a look at Ronisha's story.
I need your help. My daughter is outta control and she's dragging her brother down with her. When my kids were younger, we used to be a tighten up family. My 16-year-old daughter Janaria has always been smart, funny, and athletic. But ever since pandemic and quarantine ended, Janaria has become a different kid. She been in so many fights lately that she been expelled from two different schools, and only in a month and a half. And three months ago, she even tried to fight me, and I was forced to call the police on my own child. If I don't get help soon, I'm afraid my 15-year-old son Tahaji is going to follow her down the same destructive off the path. Can you please help us?
Ronisha, how are you doing?
I'm good.
That just breaks my heart as a parent to know what you're going through right now. I wanna talk to you first of all about the police. Why did you have to call the police on your daughter?
First, I wanna say thank you for having me on the show. I'm really looking for this help to get these teenagers in the right, you know, place and just to help 'em. But the reason why I called the police on her is because as we see, she did try to fight me. It was about 2 months ago. She had friends over that night and I had to work the next day. So I was like, in the morning I woke up cuz they was up all night. So I woke up in the morning like, I need to go to work, so please keep it down. She was like, okay. And I'm like, Janaria, you don't have to say that, you could just be quiet. You have friends here, out of respect, just say all right. She's like, okay, okay, sass me. So I have this little stick that I kinda scare them with cuz they bigger than me or whatever, so I kinda bring it out. So I'm starting to pop her with the stick and she backing up and then she just start kicking her feet on me. So I'm like, okay, okay, that's how you wanna be? And then it was getting real heated with me and her.
Yeah, it escalated quick, I get that.
Right, it start escalating real fast. So we calm down or whatever. So I was like calling her probation officer 'cause she was on probation at the time with a house arrest ban. So I'm calling her probation officer.
And let me get this straight, how old is she?
She's 16.
16?
Yes.
She's already on probation.
Mm-hmm.
She's already in these states where she's angry all the time.
Right.
So once you called a probation officer, what happened?
No one answered it. So I'm like, wow. I called the man who runs the house arrest band 'cause she was on house arrest as well. Nobody answered it. So that's what made me call the police itself. I'm like, well, you know, my daughter, she's fighting me or whatever. They came out and I explained to them what happened. You know, she was still acting her sassy ways. 'Cause I'm a parent, I wouldn't wanna call the police on my kid. You know, I love her. So why would I wanna do that? But to teach a person a lesson, you have to take an extra step. So with that being said, I called them, you know?
Yeah.
So when they came out, we explained it to her. They was like, we'll take her because of the domestic, of the violence. So they took her down, I say about 2 or 3 hours more. They was calling me and they was like, pick her up, she's ready. And I'm like, well, 2 hours later, pick her up and she just did that. I don't feel safe for her in my home so fast. She needed a lesson to be learned. So they took her to the detention center.
How long did you have her stay in the detention center?
She stayed there all night.
Okay, okay.
So about 8:30, they was calling me telling me, at 8:30 they was calling me saying, if you don't pick her up, then we gonna call CPS. So I was like, well hey, do what you gotta do because I fear for my life having her in there acting that way she have been acting. I explained to them her ways, everything she did.
What was your relationship before? 3 or 4. Was there ever a time when you and Jay were the best of friends, had a good time?
3 or 4 when she was more little and I had more control over it. We were more tighter as a family. We used to do our like Sundays in our prayer circles and those type of ways. That's what kept us tight. But then as the pandemic was over, it was like new friends, new environments, and that's when she picked up all of that.
Got it. Well, so when CPS CPS got called, what did they do?
She was with CPS when they took her, they took her to the little shelter. So true the way her attitude is, she didn't comply good to go to the next steps, which is the group home where she can get visits. So she had to stay there about 2 weeks before she started actually answering the questions.
So she was 2 weeks in a shelter?
Yeah.
So what was it like when Janaria came back home?
So she do just enough for me to don't have to get on the phone and call.
So before this fight, When you called the police, I know she had a run-in with the police before then.
Yes.
Can you tell me about that?
So the first time I got a call, they was like, this Detective Woo the Woo, we're calling about Janaria. We had her at the train station. She was having, beating up an older guy at the train station. So I'm at work, I had to leave work because she's having a fight with an older man at the train station. So when I leave work, they say pick her up, I go pick her up. She, you know, kids always say something different besides what the next person says. To say. So that was the first thing. So now I'm at work again. I say about 3 weeks later, I get a call. This Detective Woo-Too-Woo. We have your daughter Janaria. I don't even know if she's telling the truth because she's telling so much. He was like, but she got caught with a gun. That's GTA, Grand Theft Auto. So it was armed robbery, Grand Theft Auto. They said she was robbing on the north side and got caught on the south side.
Was that her gun? Where did she say she got it from?
I don't know where she got it from.
She never told you?
No, because when I asked her, she said it wasn't hers.
So because she was a minor, she didn't go to jail?
She went to jail, but they gave her house arrest and called me to pick her up. Don't get me wrong, she's a real smart girl, so that's why I'm really here, 'cause I don't want her to go down that path. She have a couple more years in life, and let me be the one to help her, you know what I'm saying?
I wanna know, how worried are you about her as a mother?
I can't even sleep until they come in the house. I don't wanna get a phone call when they be like, "Janaria's dead." I love these kids, that's why I'm here, for real. I really wanna get them some help. And I wanna let, you know, I want people out there to know that I'm the parent of them. I don't approve of none of that that they're doing, you know what I'm saying? People probably think like, "Oh, these kids, where the mama?" I'm the mama of these kids, and I don't approve of those things that they out there doing.
I want everyone to help me now welcome her daughter. J to the show.
Before you sit down, grab a hug.
Thank you, J. Come take a seat. How you doing?
Good.
I know you prefer to go by J, right?
Yes.
I got you. So I wanna talk to you, J. I know your mom called the police on you. What's going on? What happened?
We got into an altercation. And then she came in there again with the broom, the stick. And then she was, oh, whoa.
That got you when she came with the stick?
Yeah. I wasn't like trying to hit her for real, but I was trying to block myself, so I put my feet up.
Okay. What was it like for you being in the group home?
Normal.
Normal? Were you wondering why you couldn't be home?
No, I knew why I couldn't be home.
Okay, and from your perspective, why couldn't you be home?
'Cause the altercation we had and my behavior.
Mm-hmm. What are you thinking about, Vonisha?
No, it's just funny 'cause this is what I gotta deal with when nobody never thinks they're in the wrong or don't know where to man up and say, "Well, yeah, this is what I do and this is what I'm doing. It could get better." But if you always sit and say, "I don't know," and you don't know, it's gonna make it hard for us to get you the help that is needed.
Renisha, would you be okay with me talking to Jay alone?
Yeah, sure, without a problem.
Yeah, if you could just step backstage with me.
All right.
Okay, so we gonna have a real conversation. So I wanna know how you really feel about your mom not bringing you home sooner.
It's normal.
You can play tough right now for me. You can play tough and like, I don't care and nonchalant and I felt normal. There's no way a young 16-year-old felt okay being in a group home. I've worked with many kids.
Normal.
What's going on with you right now? Why do you think that you're getting into these situations?
I don't know.
You don't know?
Getting in what situations?
You've been with the police twice. You were on house arrest. You got caught up with a robbery charge.
'Cause I got caught.
I know you got caught, but why were you doing it in the first place? Mm. So I know that on social media you've been posting photos of you with guns.
Guns.
Wow. Where you getting the guns from?
Mm-hmm.
So you're not gonna share that?
Mm-mm.
I understand that. So then why are you posting them knowing that you could get in trouble?
Not really.
You don't think you get in trouble from that?
No.
You can.
How?
Well, if the guns are not registered and you're posting guns or soliciting, first of all, Instagram or any social media platform will take your account down. But then somebody could say you harassed them or hurt them with that.
If you put props, they can't, 'cause it's a prop.
So they're not real guns?
On Instagram, they're not real.
Let's not forget you're a minor, so it's illegal. What do you see for your future?
WNBA.
You wanna go to the WNBA?
Mm-hmm.
That's dope. So you got skills?
Yeah. You got skills?
I believe you got skills. So what happened while you got expelled at school?
The fight.
Who do you get into a fight with?
At the first school, it was a group. Like, my brother was fighting.
Is this you fighting?
Yeah, that's the second school. I mean, like, I'm gonna fight anybody that wanna fight me.
How many fights have you been in over the past year?
A lot.
So do you wanna live a long life?
I'm gonna live to, everybody has to die.
How old do you see yourself living to?
I don't know, whenever my time come.
What do you think that time is?
Mm-hmm.
I'm not hearing you value your own life. Are you in a gang?
Mm.
I already know the answer's yes. And how were you initiated? Were you jumped in? And was that a fun moment for you to be jumped in by dudes? Into a gang?
I mean, it's not like fun moment. What do you mean by that?
I can't imagine someone saying to me to join their club or to hang out with them, they gotta beat me up. I just would be like. So I'm saying something in your mind must have thought like this is okay. So I wanted to ask you point blank, was that a fun moment for you?
I mean, I guess it wasn't a bad moment.
It wasn't bad.
No.
Okay. Do you think that your actions are helping or hurting your brother?
He don't gotta follow me. He knows right from wrong himself.
Do you know right from wrong?
Yes.
You do? Do you think guns is right or wrong?
Right in some cases.
I wanna figure out how to get to you and figure out what's going on. And I see there's still a block here. So I'm gonna invite your little brother out. Tajae, how old are you? 15? 15, yeah. How's everything going? You look smooth.
Ah, thank you.
You're welcome. So I wanna ask you really quickly, when you see the things that Jay's doing, how you feel about that? I mean, it's like, I be knowing this be like bad, but like it's be the things that she be doing. It's like what we grew up doing type stuff. Yeah. So. Are you scared for your sister's life? Yeah, but I'm scared for like, Everybody's life around us 'cause like it's bad where we live at. Yeah. My mindset, I be thinking like somebody finna drive and just start shooting at me for no reason. Are you scared that one day Jay can end up dead? Yeah, but that's with both of us. Yeah. Like with everybody. But don't you believe that even though the circumstances, 'cause I grew up in the hood, like it's just 'cause you're in the circumstances, if you're trying to do things right, if you're trying, There's a way that you could make it, but if you're posting guns, if you're in a gang, that leads you down a path that's like even easier to get you caught up. You're not holding guns, right?
Hmm?
Are you holding guns? Not right now. Not right now. Jay, do you love your brother?
Yes.
With all your heart? Mm-hmm. Do you wanna see your brother caught up?
No.
So then how do you feel about the fact that you hear that he's saying that he's carrying guns and all that now.
I don't know.
I'm trying to figure out how I can help you both, but like there's a block here and I don't know what it is that y'all not telling me. Like, because I see two smart young Black folks and I don't understand what's happening right now. Why y'all are both like, you know what, forget it. I asked your sister this question. How long do you see yourself living to?
A long time.
I don't see myself like pass anytime soon. Good, good. That's good. Where's y'all's father at? Do you know? Jamaica. Jamaica? Yeah. Okay. Are y'all close with him? Yeah, we kind of close to him too. Okay. And what does he feel about how y'all act?
He said he mad that I got caught up.
Yeah? And what do you say to that? You just smile and laugh it off?
I just laugh.
Okay, so your father wrote me a letter that he wanted me for me to give to y'all. Can someone bring that letter out? Y'all knew that he did this? No. I haven't read it either yet, so we'll read together. Jay, I want you to stop what you're doing. Please listen to your mom. I know you are a talented little girl. You can run, play basketball. Please do the right thing for your mom. Stop following those friends. You know that your mother and father love you. If you're right or wrong, we love you. And we're 100% behind you. Tahaji, be good. I love you and you know that. How do y'all feel about that? He know we love him. We be talking to him every day. All right, we're gonna bring your mother back out. I need some perspective here 'cause I really thought that if I talked to them, they would kind of open up to me. They're both very casual. Like, I got guns. Yeah, we fighting. Where did this casual behavior start from?
That's the problem right there that I'm having. So I moved them from the hood where we grew up at to a better place as I would thought, but it seemed like when they got there, they just turned into the hood. Yes, I know when you go to different places, they have those type of kids there, but if you involve yourself with them, that's where you get involved in it.
So why are you involving yourself with those kids? Why are you involving yourself?
I took y'all out the ghetto.
Look at your mother.
I took y'all from the hood, so I'm not understanding where y'all saying that y'all in the hood and in this environment. If that's the case, I would've left us in the hood. I'm trying to save the kids. That's why we're here. I don't approve of none of that, and y'all know that. All that gun talk, no. We don't have gun, damn. I don't approve of no guns.
Y'all breaking your mother's heart. This is not a joke.
It's not. This is real life. That's why I'm here. I have to let them know that I'm the one. Let me be the parent. Let me take these last few years that y'all got of a teenage. To make y'all better. Use y'all talent. Y'all know how to play football, you know how to play basketball. I heard you WNBA. You can't get there if you too under the floor. Exactly, that's my problem. Nobody pay attention to me. You wanna write notes running away? I got that too. Then you tell me where you at. Don't wanna be found. Yeah, this breaks my heart when you see a kid write you a note. Don't look for me, I don't wanna be found.
Who wrote that?
Janaria, she's the one that ran away.
Why did you run away?
'Cause I didn't wanna be there.
Do you know why your sister left home? She didn't wanna be there. Why? She was probably getting tired of my mama just yelling and— Do you understand why your mother yells though? Yeah, sometimes, yeah. Is there some other reason you wanted to leave? Do you just, are you really want to be grown and on your own that much? Do you know how hard it is to be on your own and grown? Why?
Tell 'em, tell 'em.
Do you know? Have you ever had to pay a bill?
Nope. The rent.
Have you ever had to keep a job to survive?
Nope.
So right now everything just seems very easy because you get to go hang out with your friends. You have these cool-ass shoes on, you got these nice jeans. I almost know the person who provide that is right there.
Not everything. I just got a loan.
Y'all have a mother that loves you. Do y'all know how lucky you are? Yeah. Talk to your mom because I see for you, I see that you are not in this space where you actually want to go down this path. I really feel it in my heart.
He in the middle.
We gotta stay together. What do you wanna do with your life? What do you wanna do? I ain't gonna lie, I don't know, but like I wanna have a good life, but I don't know what I wanna do yet. But do you believe you can get a better life? Yeah. Knowing I'm gonna have a good life when I get older. Like I already see myself having a good job, good family.
Good, that's good.
Good, but do you think that you're gonna get there?
You think, Karamo?
Do you think you're gonna get there by doing any of these things? Like fighting, keeping up with your sister, do you think you're gonna get there? But it's not like the fighting, it wasn't even really that big of a deal. It is.
It is.
To you in this moment, it doesn't feel like a big of a deal because you feel like you're defending yourself. Defending yourself, but one fight could cause you to end up going to jail, could cause you to end up— We live in a world right now, we just seen it on social media. We Black folks, it takes one cop who's hardheaded and hotheaded to come and shoot you in the middle of the street, and all of a sudden all of us got your name on our t-shirts. Mm-hmm. We've seen this before.
Mm-hmm.
I don't ever wanna be wearing a t-shirt with y'all names on it. Mm-hmm. Your mother is pleading for you to not go down there, to not die.
I just want y'all to be better. That's it. Can you leave your phone there? I just wanna bring our bond back together. Have our Sunday prayer nights, you know?
Do you feel like you stuck in the middle? Low key, yeah. 'Cause sometimes when she mad at her, I gotta get cussed out too, low key. Yeah.
Oh, we try it.
Yeah, it makes sense. I get it. I get it. It's not fair to you. All right, so the thing is, is that these are very smart kids you got here. You got beautiful kids. I think I got some resources that I wanna help to give for you, Jay. Because the thing is, is that there's a reason why you don't wanna express yourself and you don't wanna be vulnerable. I feel like you have a pretty good grip on your house, so I'm proud of you. Good job. You just listen. You're doing the best you can.
Thank you.
And you got a young soldier here in the middle who is ready to help, who's ready to, who's stuck in the middle but is ready to step up and do what's right. I think you need some help. You need somebody who you can talk to about what you're feeling, about what you're expressing. So you're angry about something. I don't know what it is that you're angry about, but we gotta figure out where that anger's coming from because you got a bright future. And I promise you, if you really wanna be in WNBA, I will help you get there. I will personally help you get there. But in return, I'm gonna ask you if you'd be willing to talk to somebody about what you're feeling.
Mm-hmm.
You are?
Mm-hmm. Thank you. Yes, baby. That's all I wanna hear.
Whatever is holding you back, whatever is making you angry inside, we gotta release that anger. And I promise you, the lightness that will come to you, the life that will open up to you will be so much better. You shouldn't be getting jumped in the gang. You shouldn't be going through any of that.
Any of this.
You should be doing exactly what you love, playing basketball and watching your future soar. All right?
Yes.
All right everyone, my guest Eric is a big brother worried about his TikTok twerking tween sister Melanie. Melanie is 14 and has already been arrested 4 times. She likes to smoke weed and stay out all night until the sun comes up. And Eric is here and wants to give his little sister a reality check. Everyone, please welcome Eric to the show. Eric. Hello, how you doing? How you doing? Good to meet you. Good to meet you too. Okay, how old are you, first of all? I'm 20 years old. 20 years old. Why are you worried about your sister Melanie? She's 14 years old. Honestly, I'm gonna be real with you, there's no way I could show to control her at all. Uh-huh. What's the list of concerns you have about her? She got arrested 4 times. She smokes marijuana. She leaves whenever she feels like it. And as well as she's sexually active, which is very concerning to me as a 20-year-old brother, 'cause anything could happen to her. God forbid she comes home pregnant. So tell me about Melanie's TikToks. She twerks. As a 14-year-old child, she believes she could be able to do anything when she feel like it. That's your sister right there? Melanie? Yeah, that's her. What happens when you talk to Melanie? She's in that rebellious stage. She's just phasing herself. What happens when your mother tries to talk to her? Outburst. They start to fight? They start to fight. Why do you think Melanie acts this way? There's really nobody to really mentor her to do anything smart. Got it. Is your father in the house? Yeah, he is. He's in the house. What does he have to say about this? My father's one of those fathers where he's around, but as much as he's not around, my family own a restaurant, so as much as he wanted to talk to her, all of that, It's just no way to form a contact with him. Because he's always at work?
Yeah.
So does he live in the house with your mother and your sister?
Mm-hmm.
How many hours would you say he spends at work? 12 hours. 12 hours. Do you feel responsible for your sister Melanie? Yeah. Why? Because as much as I am as an older brother, there's no one really putting like their eyes on her, checking her, what she's doing, taking care of her, concentrating on her. Yeah, I get that. Do you still live in the house? Yeah. So you see when she's sneaking out, you see what's going on? I do. And when they get into outbursts like between her and your mother, do you usually get in the middle of it? I have to, unless it becomes extreme. Like there was this one instance, one of her arrests was like my little sister and my mother got in an altercation to a point where like my sister pushed her to a point my mother tried to call the cops. It was more for him to teach her a lesson, but imagine only as a child how she would feel. I get it, I understand. So she's been arrested 4 times. What are the 4 times for? The 4 times for with the marijuana. She got caught with marijuana. Mm-hmm. The fight with my mother.
Uh-huh.
And the 2 instances was between her hanging out with these group of friends and they got caught stealing, doing whatever she wanna do. All right, well everyone, are you ready to meet Eric's little sister Melanie? Melanie, please come on out.
Hello.
Welcome to the show, Melanie.
Hi.
Can I have a hug? You can give me two arms.
Oh, okay.
All right, thank you. How you doing?
I'm good, I'm fine. How about you?
I'm good. So you heard your brother, he's concerned about you.
I don't know what he concerned about.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
What do you think he's concerned about?
I don't know. He should be concerned about himself. I don't know what he concerned about.
About myself?
Yeah, worry about yourself. Anywho, back to you.
He brought you here because you've been arrested 4 times.
Yeah.
How do you feel being 14 and being arrested 4 times?
I mean, I feel like plenty of more 14-year-olds, probably 13-year-olds got arrested more times than me.
Nah, don't say that, bro. What?
I'm just saying. Am I lying though? Because everybody else—
You got the worst. What are you talking about?
I'm not talking to you.
Tell me.
Yeah. I mean, yeah.
So you think other kids are getting arrested for trying to rob?
I mean, I know females that's like 13 getting arrested.
But that's them, that's not true though.
All right, I'm not talking to you though. I'm not talking to you though.
When you talk about getting arrested, were you upset? Do you think it's okay?
I mean, yes, I was upset, but it is what it is.
Mm-hmm. What do you see for your future? What do you want?
I mean, I wanna become, feel me, I wanna have my own business.
What kind of business?
Like have a lash business type, something like that.
I like that. Okay, I see you. All right. That behavior, that's not taking nowhere.
Stop talking to me. I'm not talking to you.
So I see that anytime your brother says something to you, you sort of cut him off. What is it about your brother trying to talk to you about what's going on that makes you feel like I'm done with it?
You was a teenager before. Everybody in here used to be a teenager, so I don't know what's the problem.
They definitely wasn't acting the way how you was acting.
All right, so mind your business.
So you stay out all night?
Like what, school days?
Yeah.
Okay, I will come home like around 12.
You're lying, she comes home around like 1 or 2 AM.
Or sometimes I stay at my friend's house and then from there I go to school.
And how are your grades?
I mean, my grades is not that good, I'm not gonna lie.
Have you become sexually active?
Yeah.
You're mad young, like you say that was so much fun.
You got me in this show because what? Because what? Weirdo.
Do you need a read, bro? What? Okay.
I don't know why he acting like this. He acting mad, David.
And so you know your brother's just looking out for you though, right?
Yeah, I know. But I feel like he doing too much.
You should be acting your age.
Are you weird?
You should be acting your age. That's what you should be doing.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Like for example.
For example what?
Since she continues to post these TikToks about her body and doing all of this. Do you think there's an issue with your TikToks?
This is just me doing me. If y'all got a problem with it, I don't know what to tell y'all.
What's your issue? It was completely outta line for a minor to be doing that, shaking her ass on the internet. I told people to ban her account. Thank God enough people banned her account.
Anywho, anywho.
Did people ban your account when he did that?
Yes, he's like, who does that? Like who does that?
I'm gonna ask you a question. Do you feel misunderstood?
Yes, 'Cause it's like everybody just sitting here judging me because I'm acting this type of way, but nobody knows why I'm acting this way. Nobody knows about my background.
What is the reason?
All right, so you know me, I used to be young. First of all, I don't know who just said yes please. Y'all wanna get it on? Y'all wanna get it on? All right, and we can respect to get it on when we get outta here, 'cause I don't know why you talking like that. I don't know why you talking like that. I didn't ask you, we're about your daughter, not about me. Why you here? Why you not watching the show?
What about your daughter? Come on, come on.
Your daughter belong in the street. Okay, so talk to me. All right, so I'm gonna tell you.
Talk to me.
The reason why I act this way is because it's like ever since I was little, my mother and my father was never around. It was always my grandmother. I was living in a toxic household. It was like this one day where I did end up getting raped, yes. And it was like, it was very hard for me 'cause nobody, nobody like understood me. Everybody thought that I was lying. Not lying at all. So yeah, give me a hug.
You just said that. I'm sorry.
Yeah, so that's why I act this way. And, um, people say I'm too grown for my age. I don't think I'm too grown. I'm too mature for everything that I've been through. I learn and I live from it and I move on. That's me. That's basically my whole entire life. That's basically what I've been doing. So it's like the fact that Certain people just sit here and be like, "Nah, look at her. I know she don't listen to her mother. I know she'd be doing this. I know she'd be doing that." At the end of the day, my mother is very hard on me and everything. Certain times I don't listen to her, but my mother got boundaries for me and I do not pass them boundaries.
Do you agree that just sometimes your sister listens to your mother's boundaries? At times. Yeah? At times. Consideration, but sometimes she just does whatever she loves to feel. Yeah.
I truly care about you as well.
Like, you know, I love you. You're my sister. You know, God forbid I see something crazy happen to you. Did you know that happened to your sister? And did people not believe her? 'Cause they thought that she was just acting out?
Yeah.
And that happens to a lot of young girls because they exhibit behavior that people people think is wild that all of a sudden they dismiss when they tell you they've had pain or trauma.
Yeah. Females that's going through this right now, I feel like, I feel so sorry for them because it's like I've been there.
I get it. And so now you're sitting in a household where you got a lot of pain you've been dealing with. You feel alone.
Yeah.
You feel like no one understands you.
Mm-hmm.
And you're sitting here just trying to figure out how to deal with it. While also having fun as a young person.
Yeah.
I get it.
Yeah, that's basically what I been trying to do.
You do understand why they're concerned though?
Yeah, and I do understand, but like, can I get, like, can y'all understand me too? Like, yeah. Yeah.
You deserve that same understanding and that's what you're screaming out.
Mm-hmm.
See, the thing for me is I see past when people come out and they trying to be wild and they do all this stuff. I actually see a smart young girl. She's telling y'all like what she's doing. She's telling y'all like she's aware. This is a very smart young woman, but it's also a young girl who has a lot of pain.
Yeah.
And when you experience trauma like what she expressed, and when you also have a family that he also described where the father is always at work, not around, where your mother is probably trying her best to survive and doing all she can, now you feel alone and like no one's around really to pay attention to you.
Yeah.
Do you want better for yourself?
Yes, I want better for myself.
How do you think you can get better for yourself?
How I wanna do better for myself is just doing what I gotta do.
Okay, so you know that you need to do something. Do you understand that he's here to support you in that?
Yeah, but I feel like he's supporting me in the wrong way.
What way do you need him to support you? Tell your brother.
To be understandable. To sit down, like not sit down, but it's like, yo Melanie, let's do this, let's do that. Melanie, how you feeling about this? Like, "You okay? You ate? You good?" Like, be understandable.
Do you feel like you do that for her? I try, but like every time I try to talk to her or have any type of sort of conversation, it's just like a slap in the face. She doesn't hear me out. I am a concerned brother, but sometimes I just feel like whenever I talk to you, you just give me no response back. It's like I'm talking to a wall. Why do you do that? We saw here a little bit, you shut him down. Why do you do that?
I feel like how I said, you should just check up on your sister and see what, you know, why she's doing that, why she's acting like that.
So you're saying you don't want him to come to you with like, I'm judging you, why you doing this? You staying out instead of being like, what's going on? What happened? So you're asking for more emotional language instead of more like disciplinary in action.
Yeah.
Do you feel like you take on that disciplinary role 'cause you the big brother?
Absolutely.
Well, if your sister's telling you she don't need you to.
I really don't. I just need you to support me, not be here for me.
Do you hear that? I don't know. She needs you to be there and just ask her how she's doing, not to discipline her. And the reason I asked you about the questions about your own childhood is because I want to make a parallel of like what happened to you in your childhood. And you said that your father wasn't there. So like you had similar experience. I'm sure you wanted somebody who could just be there for you and say, how you doing right now? You need anything? Can I be there for you? Sometimes we forget that people just need support and not discipline at a young age. And you need support. You're screaming out for support is what you're asking for right now. Yeah.
Yeah, I am.
Yeah, you are. And it's okay. You 14, it's okay. I'm 42 and sometimes I be screaming out for support. So it is okay. Can you be there to support your sister? Of course. Yeah?
Yeah?
In the right way, yeah. This is what I wanna do for you.
Yeah.
When you get back to school, I want you to give me that next semester, wherever your grades are now, I just want 'em to go up one grade. I ain't trying to tell you to have all A's, just one grade. You get your grades up, I'll put you on personally and tell people to follow you. That is a promise I will personally make to you if you can commit to go back to school and to get your grades up one grade.
One grade.
And for you, now that she knows that she has a goal that she can work to, you can say to her, hey, you got this goal, I know you want it. How can I support you? How can I be there for you? Not Melanie, you doing this again? Melanie, you wilding out. Melanie, you doing this? Instead of that, I understand why you do it. You're a supportive and loving brother and I'm so happy that she has you in her life. Because one day when y'all are older, y'all gonna be there for each other like you can't even imagine. I already see where this friendship y'all gonna be at. Y'all gonna be 25, 30 hanging out. It's gonna be the best relationship ever. So I'm glad y'all got each other, but right now it has to shift the dynamic if y'all gonna ever get there. So give her support, help her with the goal that she now has through me. You go do the goal, you go get your grades up, and I promise you I got you. And thank you for being vulnerable with my audience, okay?
All right.
All right, everyone, this brother and sister, they gonna be all right. Y'all feel that? They gonna be all right. All right, everyone, stay with us. We'll be right back. Hold up, hold up. Where are you going? I know you wanna watch more Karamo, so click here to subscribe and click here to watch more so we can keep talking. Keep talking and growing, friends. I love you.
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