In this episode of Karamo’s relationship‑intervention series, host Karamo brings DeAndre and his wife Coco into the studio to discuss a crisis in their eight‑year marriage, which includes three children. DeAndre discovered, by secretly accessing Coco’s phone, a series of provocative messages and a long‑term affair with a male friend that lasted at least a year and a half, possibly longer. The couple had previously experimented with a polyamorous/open arrangement, sharing other female partners, but Coco claims the relationship was never truly open for men and that she felt insecure after threesomes and other group encounters. Both partners express hurt, jealousy, and confusion about boundaries, with DeAndre feeling blindsided and betrayed, especially because the affair was with his friend and seemed “smooth” without a change in their sexual routine. Coco admits to the infidelity, attributing it to insecurity and a lack of emotional connection. Karamo unlocks Coco’s phone (the one they agreed to unlock) and finds over 30,000 deleted text messages, though no concrete evidence of another ongoing communication is revealed. The host uses the phone data to highlight the lack of transparency and to prompt discussion about control, trust, and communication. Both guests express a desire to work on the marriage, mentioning counseling and a willingness to rebuild trust. Karamo advises Coco to find her voice, urges DeAndre to stop controlling behavior, and emphasizes the need for forgiveness, honest communication, and clear boundaries moving forward.
Chapters
DeAndre and his girlfriend Coco have been together for 8 years and have 3 beautiful kids together, right? They adorable. But DeAndre has been questioning Coco's loyalty because DeAndre found out Coco had a year and a half long relationship with one of his friends. I know, it's breaking my heart. Everyone, please welcome DeAndre to the show so we can get his side of the story. DeAndre, how you doing, brother? I'm doing good, Karamo. Good to meet you. All right, so DeAndre. Yes. Please tell me, how did you find out that Coco was having an affair?
Well, we had got in an argument one night and she wasn't home on time like she normally does be on time. So I went to where she was at and I seen how she was all on her phone. So I snatched her phone from her and I got to reading, well, I got to reading, I seen a Text Me Now app. And you know, that's one of them apps you can take, You like, you turn off or turn on.
Turn off, yeah, uh-huh.
And so I'm like, look at it, I get to reading like a whole bunch of provocative stuff and I'm like, whoa. And then I was just like, I can't believe this, like it just hurt me.
Yeah.
Well, 'cause we've been together 8 years, so.
Yeah.
And we got 3 kids, so.
I can only imagine that, so you see this text message and this app WhatsApp with a man that she's been engaging with. And how did you feel about that?
Oh, I felt real hurt 'cause it was my friend too at that. So I was hurt, hurt. Like I don't know, I kind of, I was pacing. I didn't know what to do. I was just back and forth. And then finally I just had to, man, I'm just like—
Before this, did you and Coco, 'cause I always wanna understand the boundaries of a relationship. Did you and Coco have an open relationship at this time?
No, yeah, okay, we was into having a girlfriend. We had a girlfriend, it wasn't, she was messing with somebody and I was messing with somebody. Me and her always shared the same person.
So you were in a polyamorous relationship?
Yeah, yeah, was. Got it, okay. And we tried that out and we figured that wasn't for us.
In that case, did Coco get jealous?
There was times because we had more than a few girls, so, Like with me, it feels like if the girl likes me more, there was the jealousy. But if the girl liked Coco, which I'm fine with, there wasn't no jealousy, so. Got it.
So I wanna know, just for the record, have you ever cheated on Coco?
No.
Never?
Never.
So when you found those messages from this friend of yours, what hurt you the most?
That it was my friend and that she could do that because It was just so smooth. Like we wasn't like, you know, usually people who cheat, intercourse falls off and, but it was none of that. Like we was having constant intercourse still. She was at home most of the time.
So it blindsided you?
Yeah.
Because you couldn't—
That's my baby right there, y'all.
I can tell.
But when you say it was smooth with it, I know that type of language. That means like, Nothing changed?
Nothing changed, it was just straight out of nowhere.
And it went on for a year and a half?
A year and a half, well actually, she might tell year and a half, I feel like it was a little longer.
Oh wow.
Like 2 and a half years. Like to the point to where my son could be somebody else's, you know what I'm saying?
So I wanna hear Coco's side of the story.
I've been with him since I was like 18. He's the only man I've ever been with. For 8 years we've been together, I have 3 kids with him. I don't know, I just felt vulnerable. I don't know, I just wasn't myself. I wasn't connecting with him.
How wasn't you yourself though? Like, can you explain that?
I don't know, I was insecure by myself sometimes.
Why insecure by yourself?
'Cause like the threesomes we had and all of that like made me feel insecure sometimes.
Why? You agreed though.
Dang, you don't let me talk.
Go ahead, babe, I'm sorry.
We agreed, but we was just having fun. But then when it went outside of that, like you having your own little party.
I've never had my own.
Okay, y'all went off on your own little sessions sometimes.
See, that's why I feel like we—
Y'all have.
I feel like we went wrong because you think that I went outside of our session.
You have.
I never have, like you're thinking.
You've even told me you went outside.
No, I haven't.
You said you went to the, you said, and I gave you permission, but I don't remember giving you permission. But yeah, I cheated on him 'cause I was insecure about myself and our emotions wasn't there.
Who wanted the open relationship? Was it you or?
It was agreed both.
I wanna hear.
It wasn't even an open relationship. It was just females. It was us having fun with females. I wasn't allowed to go outside the relationship. So it wasn't open relationship.
So you're saying to me that you agreed to have fun with bringing a partner in.
Yeah.
But then it got a little bit too serious for you?
Sometimes, yeah. Oh yeah, it did get serious 'cause he wanted more than that. Like we wanted a relationship with the partners, but then it didn't work out.
Did you not want the relationship with the partners? I did.
Sometimes the partners wouldn't really get along with me or they'll get along with him more.
Cool with them getting along with you more 'cause it seemed like if they tend to get along with me more, that's where the jealousy came in.
Do you think he'd have been okay if y'all would've had a guy?
No, most definitely not.
I couldn't imagine sharing her with another dude. I just couldn't.
But do you understand why her insecurities could pop up then? She's saying to you, I felt insecure.
I can.
With these relationships of when you especially started engaging in something a little bit more than you were before.
And it was a lot of people. It was like 5 of them.
Got it.
I think it was a little bit more, but.
Oh yeah, I said a lot more.
Okay. Yeah. I mean, what the fun interesting part is, is that y'all communication is pretty actually good. Like, it's like, right? It's not like, it's very like honest and the communication's good. So then why were you in this, a secret relationship for a year and a half?
I mean, it wasn't really secret. I mean, yeah, it was to me, but—
It was secret.
Why couldn't you just say, "Hey, like, I wanna engage in—" I don't know, 'cause he would go off. Would you have allowed her to have that communication with you? No. Exactly.
Man, we could, but it would've gave me an opportunity, a choice to make a choice to whether to stick with her or not stick with her.
When you found out I was cheating, you should've kept with me or not. I hear what you're saying.
I hear what you're saying, but everything that I've ever done with you, I've given you a choice to where you can do it or you don't have to do it, and I'm still with you. So you feel like she didn't give you a choice?
At all. So how long did this affair last?
A year and a half.
No, it was longer than that.
It was way longer than that.
It was longer than that. I know what I did. It was like 2 and a half years. It was like half a month.
It wasn't even like every day type of thing. But for you to even do it that long, it was like y'all had a relationship. You can't tell me there was no feelings involved.
No, there wasn't. I only seen him once, like every month.
Why can't you believe that there was no feelings involved?
Because there was feelings involved when we was doing what we was doing. So for her to go that long, I don't believe there wasn't no feelings involved 'cause you keep doing it.
Got it, got it. What messages have you seen on DeAndre's phone?
Him talking to other females. Like all he has on there is females.
But I don't be talking to nobody, man. You got the code to my phone, everything.
Well, I see a lot of things that are going on here and I understand the symptoms that are happening. Coco, we unlocked your phone, and before I unlock the phone and show you the result, is there anything that you wanna say to DeAndre?
I wanna work things out, so, I mean, after this results, can we like get past this? Yeah, yeah.
And I'm cool with going to like some type of counseling too, like me and you.
Good, okay.
That's fine.
Good. All right, so, So Coco, we did unlock your phone. Yeah. And the thing that I thought was interesting, because I'm gonna give a backstory actually before I get to this. We unlocked your phone and my producers did tell me that you have a second phone. Yeah. That you both know about, that you're like, okay, we're not gonna unlock that phone, we're only gonna unlock the first phone, correct? So I thought that was interesting because with two phones, usually we'd want to unlock both, but you both had made the decision that you thought it was not important.
Well, because it's recent, the phones are recent. And like I got access to go into the—
Okay, everything, got it, okay. So listen, we unlocked the phone that you wanted us to unlock and Coco, on that phone there were a lot of children games downloaded on the phone, which you know that there's, you both have 3 kids so we get that. But what I thought was interesting is that even if this is like the children's phone, we did find 30,657 deleted text messages messages. I'm all about transparency. I didn't find anything else that shows you being in an app or talking to anybody else. The thing is, is that those messages were deleted on a phone. That's why for me, unlocking your phone that you have now will give me more perspective. What is your thought, DeAndre? What are you thinking?
I just, I don't know. I just, I wanna know why. That's a lot.
I don't even know where those deleted messages came from.
Like did it say to who the people were?
No, because at this point now, so the names go off and so we're going through the messages, but there's 30,000. So we only have, we just got your phone. Is that an old phone?
Yeah. You know what? I don't even care. I just wanna know if we gonna do this right.
So this is a thing because for me as well, I'm actually happy that you said that because listen, the only reason I gave you that fact and be very, because it didn't really give me the proof I needed to help you all. I gave you that fact because you asked me to unlock the phone. I went through the phone and this is the only thing that I could see that would be suspicious. But at the end of the day, I don't actually want you to get caught up on that number because there is no proof within that to say she has done anything.
And that's why I said I don't even care.
Perfect, I'm glad. But what I will say to this though is that in your relationship, if you both are wanting to work it out. You both wanna work this out, right? Yes. Yeah. Yes. Great. For yourselves?
Yeah. For our family.
For each other and for your family. The thing is, is that there's an element of control here and you admitted it earlier, but the control, I believe, happened even before the cheating started. Why you look up? Nothing. No, because I read body language. When people look up like that, that's because they actually don't believe what the person is saying to them or they are cheating.
I believe everything you're saying. I did do him wrong, yeah.
But you were happy you did him wrong.
See, that's why I guess I feel like it's like getting back at him.
There you go. That's what that look up was.
That's the feelings I get. And that's what makes me feel like the trust.
Yes. But I will do anything to fix our relationship and our trust issues with me.
Well, the first thing you have to do is for you, you have to allow her to have more of a say in this relationship. But what you have to do is when he starts to control you, you have to start to find your voice. You are a young woman who's been in a relationship for many years and I don't think you fully ever developed your voice. I think part of your voice is his voice. Part of your thoughts are his thoughts. Part of the way you're moving through this world is all about him. Would you agree? Yeah. Do you know how to find your voice? Yeah. You do? It's not through cheating. I know that. For you, you gotta let go of the trust issues. So you have to forgive her, say, listen, you messed up, I see it, but you can't keep holding that against her anymore. This has to be the last day today you ever control her or make her feel like she's wrong for going out or doing anything. Can you make that commitment to start trusting her from here on out?
Yeah, I'm sorry. Okay, I'm sorry for hurting you. I will never do it again.
Yeah, and I don't care about the little phone stuff 'cause We like, let's just, let's do what we need to do. We got, I got 8 kids altogether, so, and 3 with you.
Listen, the trust issues, y'all gotta start working on that.
Can I say one more thing?
Sure you can. Oh my God.
Oh my God.
What are your thoughts?
I'm a wife. I'm a wife. You said you're a wife? Yes. Aw.
Was that important for you?
Yeah, 'cause he always said he wanted to marry me, but.
But that's too much.
And I thought he didn't wanna do it no more 'cause of what I did.
I'm gonna go further now. Oh my God.
That's very sweet. Listen, you've gotten tools to start to find your voice. And I do feel like by acknowledging the control that y'all are actually on the steps to have a happy marriage. So I'm actually gonna wish y'all the best of luck and know that I'm here for y'all. Thank you. Listen, I like this. This gonna work out. Again, friends, love just happened right here. Let me tell you something. This is what happens. You talk, you grow, you heal. See y'all next time, friends, when we're gonna keep talking and growing. I love y'all. Hold on, where you going? I'll tell you where you're going. Right here to subscribe and right here to watch more. Period.
