In this episode of Karamoās relationshipāadvice series, host Karamo brings together Carlton and Barbara, a couple who have been together for about two years after meeting at a tunaācanning factory. Carlton suspects Barbara of cheating and wants her phone unlocked; Barbara claims innocence and wants Carlton to trust her, even demanding a symbolic ākiss my feetā if she is proven faithful. The show proceeds with a backāandāforth where both parties recount their histories: Barbara is a recent widow who feels pressured by Carltonās constant questioning, while Carlton reveals a longāstanding pattern of infidelity in past relationships but insists he is now committed to Barbara. Carlton describes numerous incidents he interprets as suspiciousādeleted messages, overnight absences, a man seen at the door, and a tally of 25 times she disappeared. Barbara explains her need for space, her habit of walking away, and her refusal to delete messages. Karamo unlocks both phones and, using a phoneāforensic service, finds no evidence of cheating: zero suspicious calls, apps, photos, or texts on either device. Karamo then shifts to analysis, pointing out Carltonās controlling and paranoid behavior, his projection of past cheating onto Barbara, and Barbaraās pattern of avoidance that fuels mistrust. He advises both to improve communication, respect each otherās need for space, and curb controlling tendencies. The episode concludes with Carlton apologizing for his accusations, promising to listen more, and both expressing gratitude for the mediation.
Chapters
So Carl met his wife Barbara about 2 years ago when they worked together at a tuna canning factory. Carl says he fell in love with Barbara from the first time he saw her, but lately her behavior has been really fishy in his mind. Carl asked me to unlock Barbara's phone and find out if she has been cheating on him. We're going to meet him in a minute, but first let's see what Barbara had to say about the situation.
When I met Carl 2 years ago, I had just lost my husband. We was together for 15 years before he passed away. In that relationship, I didn't have to really, like, answer to anyone, just as long as I did what I needed to do. But now, I always have something I have to answer to. He just don't know when to stop. He goes on and on and on. When I get mad, I get frustrated, and I just walks away. And during those times while I'm gone, he's always accusing me of other people. I'm deleting messages. I'm going to meet people. I'm just tired of this situation. I have never cheated on Carl. Carl knows this. I told him, and he just won't get it through his head. Karamo, when you prove my innocence, I want Carl to kiss my feet.
Please tell me, why do you wanna unlock Barbara's phone?
Well, Karamo, I never been concerned with a woman and what she doing, how she doing. She's my woman. I'm good with that.
Yes.
Right?
You're secure.
I'm very secure. Very secure. But Barbara, when I first met Barbara, everything was beautiful. And then all of a sudden, Barbara got, she stay on her phone all the time. Kept her phone in her hand. And she's always text messaging, always text messaging. And this went on for over a year. One day I decided to check her phone. I could see like 40 or 50 text messages. Every single one of 'em was deleted.
Okay.
I could see what she received them. I could see how many minutes she talked, but I couldn't see nothing in it.
Got it. So you think she's deleting messages?
Absolutely, I know she is.
What other suspicious behavior have you noticed with her?
Oh my goodness. Let me tell you, Karamo. Barbara, when I first met her, she was living in one place, I was living in my apartment. And I decided it'd be more convenient for us to move together, you know, for the financial reasons.
Yeah.
So Barbara moved with me. The first weekend, She moved in like on a Wednesday, that Friday, Barbara left to go somewhere. I didn't see Barbara again until Sunday night. When she came home, she had these elaborate meals. And I opened the door and then I opened the door, I see a guy pulling off. And come to find out, she said this is an old friend of hers. And when he seen me, he took off. That was just the one time. I could tell you incident after incident. In 2 and a half years, I stopped counting at 25.
[Speaker:KARAMO] Really? Not that many men that you take?
[Speaker:STEVE] No, not that many men. 25 times she was missing overnight.
Overnight. I need to go back. What was your life like when you met Barbara?
You know, I've been hoarse my whole entire life.
Okay.
Right? I got 10 children.
Yes.
I got 9 daughters and 1 son. I got 32 grandchildren.
Mm, my gosh.
I got 8 baby mamas.
Oh, wow.
I cheated on every woman I ever had in my whole entire life.
Okay.
Every single one of 'em. I was not faithful. But when I met Barbara, I truly, truly had made it. I was outta that relationship for 2 years. And when I met Barbara, I was ready.
You told my producer that you know the signs of cheating. I guess you would afterā Let me tell you. I mean, come on.
When you look at cheater in the dictionary, they got my picture there.
Oh.
You know, my picture's up there. You know, it's not nothing I'm proud of, right? And I don't regret none of my kids.
Yeah.
You know, because I got a big, beautiful family now.
Yes.
And, but when I met Barb, I was ready. I had made up my mind the next woman in my life I'm not gonna commit. And lemme tell you, this is the truth. When I first laid my eyes on her, I fell in love with her instantly. Instantly. It never happened before in my life. We have fun together.
Oh, perfect. Okay, good, good. Listen everyone, I'm ready to meet Barbara. So everyone please welcome Barbara to the show so we can hear her side of the story. Hi Barbara.
Hi.
How you doing? How you doing? Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you as well.
Okay, so Barbara, why did you agree to unlock your phone?
Because I'm gonna ease this man's mind so he can have a peace of mind and he know I am not that woman he think I am.
I don't know that.
You will find out.
I don't know that.
You will find out.
If I knew that, we wouldn't be at Karamo.
You'll find out today.
I don't know that.
So why do you leave the house for days at a time?
During the frustration and all the things you hear him saying, just imagine me, put on your running shoes and run as fast as you can. All I need is a little relief, peace of mind. Give me peace of mind and let me gather my thoughts.
But he says, yeah, she can run around the block. She ain't got to run away.
Yeah, because you leave for days at a time though.
The last time was days at a time, you know, that was the longest period of time I had been gone.
So I'm going weekends.
Weekends, that's just the weekend because I have a chance. I want to go and meet people, you know, that I haven't seen. You can meet people with me, Carlton.
I know, Carlton, you can meet people with me. That's excuses. That's nothing.
Now you see why we are here.
That's right.
I wanna be able to talk to you all. Cause I can't talk to him.
Well, see, let me tell you something. Your ISIS speaks. It's an old cliche that says, silence speaks volume. It's what you do. You ain't gotta say nothing. How you white. You ain't gotta say nothing.
So he's saying that he would love to go with you. Just experience things.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We do not need that.
Why?
Because the simple fact at that time, it's about me. Gather my thoughts so I can handle what I'm handling when I'm with him.
Well, you need to be with you and not me if it's all about you. When we got together, Barbara told me when we first got together, this is what, she sold me on this one. She said, when I love, I love. Ain't no breaking up, ain't no end to this, right? And ain't no separation. You don't separate over 25 times. When you leave overnight and got in a car number 4, you don't separate. So you can't tell me nothing. You come back with no excuse.
That's why we're here, because I can't tell you anything.
There you go.
So where do you go when you leave all this time?
I wanna know. I just walks away.
No, so you walk away for hours and hours?
Just get ready to kiss these feet.
She called me on Memorial Day.
You get ready.
She called me on Memorial Day, right? Kiss these feet. Karamo, she called.
Knock the shoe off, kiss my feet.
I am ready for you. Unlock that phone.
I tell you this, Ellen, not only will I kiss her feet if she ain't did what I think she did, I did, but I'll never accuse her again.
And that's what I'm waiting on.
So I wanna know, have you been deleting messages outta your phone?
No, I do not delete no messages out my phone. 9 outta 10, if I do get messages, I don't even respond to them.
Okay.
Well, even the messages, 'cause she said she get messages, don't respond, right?
Yeah.
But why when I go on your phone, if you get messages and don't respond to 'em, why when I go on your phone, every single one of your text messages is erased? All of 'em.
Trying to ease your mind.
It tells you how long you talked and who you talked to. But the conversation don't have nothing with the conversation. I know when you go on my phone, I've never erased messages on my phone. Well, yes I have. Yes I have.
I have.
I'm not gonna lie. I have erased messages off my phone, right? But I've been stopped doing that.
Okay.
Right? But every one of her messages is gone.
So Carl turned off your phone.
I paid mine and didn't pay hers.
That's right.
That's right. And how'd that make you feel?
No, not how it make me feel. I was very angry and upset about that. But that also gave me a peace of mind 'cause now I have that not to worry about anymore.
That's a lie.
Oh, so you were fine that the phone was off?
If I don't have a phone, Maybe this phone would be an easy step.
That don't work either, Karamo. You know why? We got the internet. All she do is hook up to the internet. She's still doing the same thing she was doing. She could talk on the phone. She got to download text apps for her phone and everything. She got to talk on Facebook. She the same thing.
Okay, if we unlock your phone, what do you think we're gonna find?
Nothing.
Nothing at all?
Nothing at all. I have nothing to hide.
Okay, well we unlocked your phone.
Yes.
And we also unlocked your phone.
Absolutely.
Because we wanted to make sure if we're gonna make sure, see what one is doing. Absolutely. Especially since you said you cheated before. Let's go.
Right.
All right, so I wanna start with Barbara's phone. When it came to phone calls that were suspicious between her and any other men, we found zero.
Woo!
When it came to apps, we found zero.
Let's go, let's go.
When it came to photos, anything that would be suspicious, again, Zero.
Tell you, tell you.
And when it came to text messages.
Woo, let's go, let's go.
Not 50, not 50, not 50. When it came to text messages, we found zero. She wasn't doing nothing. She was, she not doing nothing.
She not doing nothing.
Nick.
Oh my God.
Well, let's move on to your phone. Let's go.
Let it out, Karamo.
All right then, well listen, when it came to Karl's phone, we looked for any suspicious behavior from Barbara and also from yourself. All right, when it came to calls, we found zero. When it came to apps, we found zero. When it came to photos, we found zero. And when it came to text messages, we found zero as well. The funny part, and this has never happened before, the phone investigator that we use, he actually asked me if these phones were even active because he said they have literally nothing on them, that he thought these phones were just brand new phones people gave to her. That's how little y'all use y'all phones.
We don't use our phones that much.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But she play games on her phone all the time. And so do I, I play poker.
That's what we saw to know these were still not new phones 'cause we could see from your The games he played that y'all been playing for a while on the phones. I will tell y'all this though, because even though in all good and fun, I do love the relationship, I think y'all are sweet. I'm gonna tell y'all two things that I did notice. First thing is there's a little bit of controlling behavior there and a little bit of paranoia because you've been through some things in your life, you cheated, and you're projecting a lot of that on her. I'm gonna tell you that right now. And even like turning off the phone, you got a woman who's like saying, "Fine." But part of that is control. It's coming out in one very specific way. You do overtalk your wife.
Yes, yes.
She doesn't get a point out. I watched it every time she got a point. And what happens is you think she changed the subject, but you done moved on to two subjects, so she get confused.
Well, I'm fascinated in her.
So I'm just saying, if you really want this to work, you know now she's not cheating, you know she's not doing anything. You gotta watch that paranoid behavior and you gotta watch the controlling behavior. Because you asked God for a woman that's going to love you, who's not gonna treat you bad, who's not going to be the karma you think you deserve, and you got it right here. You hear that? You hear what he said about you?
I really appreciate it.
Thank you.
You're not innocent either.
Talk to me.
Okay. You kept saying, "I have to handle my thoughts. I have to find my peace." You decided to be in a committed relationship with this man.
Yes.
And this is where you, of course, are owed your own peace. But part of the thing that's causing you the lack of peace is by you running away. You gotta be able to talk to him about how you're feeling. And I get it, he was overtalking you. That's why I made sure it was acknowledged. But you have to be able to say, this is what I'm feeling. Because the more you let him in, then he's gonna understand when you take a walk. He's gonna understand when you wanna go. But at the same rate, come on now, taking 30-mile walks, Being gone for 3 days, going toā
6.
6 days, any of that, that's not healthy behavior.
That's not healthy.
That's not healthy. And if you really want this to work, you gotta give your man the respect enough to say, this is what I'm feeling, this is the time I need, let's figure this out. Versus you just disappearing. You feel that?
I feel you very much.
All right, then good.
It's amazing. I thank you so very much.
I think y'all are a fun, beautiful couple and I'm actually I'm really happy to meet y'all. Y'all so good. Listen.
Karamo, I really appreciate it. Yes, of course. I'm very shocked. I'm very shocked. I mean, hell, I must be going crazy.
You gonna apologize to your wife for all the accusations?
I am so sorry. I will never accuse you again, and I'm gonna shut up and let you do most of the talking. She like to talk too. Okay.
Okay.
I'm sorry.
Thank you.
I'm sorry. There you go.
Hold up, hold up. Where are you going? I know you wanna watch more Karamo, so click here to subscribe. And click here to watch more so we can keep talking and growing, friends. I love you.
