Unlock My Sex Worker Girlfriend's Phone! | KARAMO

Talk to me about this. How did your boyfriend Steven catch you?

Well, I use a laptop mainly for when I stream live and I was stupid and I did not log out.

And when did you start webcamming?

So I originally started back in 2009. I found so much success that I actually stopped modeling and was teaching other people how to do it for another website.

Nice.

So it's very empowering work.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I quit in 2014 to go to college and then I crash landed into the corporate world world and tried to leave most of it behind me.

Got it, got it, got it. And then you got out of it, the corporate world.

Yeah, so, you know, it's really hard working, especially in the housing industry with everything going on right now with the prices skyrocketing, people not being able to afford to live. It just became very soulless work.

So that's when you started going back to camming?

Yes.

So what kind of videos do you exactly do?

Okay, so the great thing about doing online sex work is kind of your wildest imagination could be the reality. There are so many people out there that have so many different types of fetishes. All sorts of things that, you know, you would never even think of. Just last time I streamed, I got paid in an exclusive for $5 a minute to stand on my bed and jump for about 30 minutes.

$5 per minute?

Yeah.

Jumping on the bed?

Yeah.

I ain't mad at you.

So I had another really interesting fella back when I first started when I was like 19. I would get paid by an exclusive that was a regular, and he would have me try to stuff myself into like the smallest spaces I could. So we're talking underneath like an end table. We're talking the big Rubbermaid storage containers. See how much I could get in one. People will pay for the most off-the-wall stuff. And I mean, if they're wanting to give the money, I wanna be the one to take it.

I hear that. You call yourself a sexy therapist.

Yes.

I love this. Tell me more about that.

Okay, so, you know, I'm not just getting out there being a dirty girl, doing all that. I mean, that's a big part of it because a lot of people, that's what they want. But then the real money is in the online, you know, companionship where somebody just has a bad day at work and they want you to bust your boobies out and talk about their problems with them.

I love it.

Sorry, I'm taking notes.

I'm taking notes.

That's what you guys— I support anyone who makes a choice for themselves and if it's empowering them and it's making money and they feel safe, I'm totally with you. You're amazing.

Absolutely.

And I'm of a different generation. I have had people who have written in the show to me and they're like, Karamo, I disagree with you on this. But this is my question now because as you said, there should always be transparency. Did Steven know that this was your past?

So yes, Steven did know that this was originally what I was doing for work. When we entered into our relationship, I was actively doing it.

Okay, if he was okay with it then, why is he not okay with it now?

He feels that if I'm doing this, that it almost makes him feel like he's not doing enough in our relationship. He tends to kind of take it personally rather than to see it as the real work that it is. You know, the hardest part about it, I think, for him is that he imagines that I'm getting something out of this, which I am. I'm getting my bills paid, and that's great. But I think the hardest part about it for him is him letting his mind go wild. He was raised Mormon, and so Stephen has had to drop a lot of the religious indoctrination that he has from that. And this is absolutely opposite of what he was raised to think was right.

Tell me what happened after your staycation.

So it was during the pandemic and we were antsy, so we went and stayed in a hotel. Well, I had a client reach out to me while I was up in the room, and so I started doing a one-on-one just real quick to make a quick couple hundred dollars. And I was not transparent about it, and he actually walked in on me doing the session because he was waiting.

Got it. And what did that do? What happened then?

It totally broke trust with us.

Why did you hide?

You know, I think that in retrospect, I was just afraid of his reaction. You never wanna hurt people. And I knew that it was something that he really had a hard time accepting for a long time. And no matter what he said, I still knew in the back of his head that it left him with doubts.

Yeah. Did he make you quit again after that fight?

So yes, I did quit after that fight. And we struggled unnecessarily for quite some time without me doing that. But that's what led me into going into this suited-up corporate world.

Mm-hmm. How's your communication in general together?

We fight. We definitely, we get very bickery. We tend to butt heads on a lot of different things. And I think from coming from a kind of traumatic past with partners that he's had, and also me having trauma with partners, it makes me less forthcoming than I should be. And it makes him kind of a little more stifled with our relationship.

Got it. Okay. At least you can be honest about that. Well, listen everyone, let's hear what Steven has to say about all this. So everyone please welcome Steven to the show. Why do you think she's having a relationship with these other people?

It's just, I don't know what the extent of it is. I mean, if it's just webcam modeling, that's one thing, but it's the girlfriend experience that she says that she does. How far does that girlfriend experience actually go? Is there in-person one-on-one meeting going on that I'm not aware of? Is there—

Is there in-person meeting?

Absolutely not. I definitely, I'm a professional in every sense of the way with whatever that I do.

How far does the girlfriend experience go?

I mean, they'll be annoying and text me a lot, things like that, but they know that if that is persistent, they are going to have to pay me more money. And so the girlfriend experience is essentially, you know, I treat them as if they're somebody that I emotionally am caring for. This is the experience. I'm treating you as if I'm your girlfriend on the other side of a screen.

Got it. Do you hear that? What do you think about what she's saying?

Well, that sort of thing, like, I'm okay with it to an extent, but then again, it's the same thing of I don't wanna feel like I'm sharing my personal time with my partner with other people.

Other people. Is there a way that you can talk about the compromise of this?

I mean, I—

Because is it you're scared that like when I unlock this phone that you're gonna see that she's having a relationship more with someone?

Yes, that's what I am afraid of.

Are you also afraid that maybe she's met up? 'Cause I wanna know what are you afraid that I'm gonna find?

If, yeah, I'm afraid of either if she's met up or if there's a discussion of meeting up or actually having a relationship. I don't know if these guys think they're in an actual relationship with her.

Well, I just can't believe that you would even think that about me though with as fierce as I've been in this relationship I left absolutely everything I had previously.

But Kelsey, you've hid it from me twice now. This is a much different, at this point, it is a much different situation than it was at the beginning of our relationship. We have had communication and then you quit communicating with me on this. How am I supposed to trust you and think that what you're telling me is the truth? You have not disclosed all information to me.

Listen, Steven, if I was wanting to cheat on you, I wouldn't have started over completely with you. I left my old life to be with you. We built from the bottom. I would never throw away.

But that's the thing, with all of that history between us, with everything that we've been through and that we've worked through, why would you hide something like this from me?

Because I'm scared.

I thought we had more trust in our relationship than that.

It's valid.

Well, we have unlocked your phone. We have the results right here. Are you ready for this?

Let's do this.

Well, Kelsey, we tried to unlock your phone, but you refused.

What? Well, why?

Well, the simple explanation for why I wouldn't unlock my phone is because of confidence in my clients are putting in me to keep their business aside from anybody else's. They come to me for a service and I'm a professional in the industry. Why would I allow other people to see these things secret things that people are discussing with me. That would make me very bad at my job.

Yeah, but still, the whole point of coming here was so I could figure out what was going on, and now you won't even disclose the information that's on your phone. I mean, we have an understanding of what is okay and what isn't.

It would not be fair of me to just broadcast it to the world.

Well, we wouldn't look particularly, just to let you know, for anything that could jeopardize you as a professional.

What is on the phone that you don't want me to see? That you don't want other people to see?

There's nothing.

I don't know if I believe that.

I can understand both points of view. I can understand you trying to be a professional. This is how you're making your money. You do know if any of your clients, because you do cam, so they know your face, they see you on television and you're disclosing stuff. Exactly. It then breaks away your money.

Right.

But then I also understand for you as your partner, it's sort of like, I need transparency. I need to know what's going on. Especially since you've shared that the trust was broken by you in some ways.

It absolutely was.

You know what I mean? So the question is, is like, how can the trust be rebuilt here? Steven, what do you need to rebuild the trust?

I just want the communication. I just want to be talked to about what's going on. I don't want the nitty-gritty details. I don't need to know what you're talking to these guys about. It wasn't fair that I found out that how you were making money wasn't the way that you told me it was.

If I can be honest with you and give you my opinion, I know there's been a lot of like, we're helping each other, we're talking about our past, issues, but there needs to be a little bit of more separate work. There was something that you said that I wrote down, which is, "I want to know I'm enough." That's the big thing. Yeah, and when someone says language like that, you're seeking validation from someone else when you have to build that up in yourself first. And the thing is, is that until you build that self, that buildup with yourself first, there's always gonna be a thing because she's never going to be able to convince you that you're enough. And this is regardless if she was in sex work or not. And I'm just gonna be honest with you. And as you've already expressed, because you're very emotionally intelligent, you've had abandonment issues from women particularly. But the thing is, is that if you've had women make you feel like you're not enough, you can't go to another woman to make you feel like you're enough. That has to be self-work. Does that make sense?

Absolutely.

Y'all can clap for that.

That was good. I agree with that.

And so the thing is, is that unfortunately you're gonna be in a cycle here where it's like you're gonna say, "Yes, okay, I'm fine with it, but now I don't feel fine with it. Now I'm triggered. Now I don't feel good." And there's nothing you're gonna ever be able to do to convince him whether or not we show messages of you meeting with these people or anything. That's a little bit of work that you have to do. That's the first piece, okay? I do understand that the trust has been broken and so we'll get to that. But do you understand the first piece? You have to build yourself up. You understand?

Absolutely.

But the second thing is, is you're asking for transparency. If you want transparency, you want openness, you also have to make your partner feel safe enough. The same way that you wanna feel like I'm being seen and I'm enough, she also has to know that she's safe enough to come to you and that it's not gonna always lead to an argument. It doesn't mean that y'all have to be picture perfect all the time, but especially in this topic, she has to know that if she talks to you, you're not gonna respond negatively.

I just wanna be able to tell him about a hard or off workday that I've had without him triggering, you know, his insecurities over it.

You have to do a better job of setting clearer boundaries with your clients. Now it's one thing for me to be at work and I'm in similar work to you in the sense of people's needs are what I'm always there for. So if people are always consistently calling me saying, this is what I need, this is what I need, this is my issue, this is my problem. And I love doing it. I love doing it. It makes me a living. I love being there for people. I love supporting them. But I also know that at some point This person I'm in a relationship with has to be the priority. So when you walk in the other room and you get lost in this girlfriend experience, then you've ruined the girlfriend experiences that he's having. You've ruined the true emotion that he's having. And that's where you're wrong. Because if I know my girlfriend's in the other room talking to somebody, yes, I might know that it's a job, but it's like, damn, when do I get chosen? And that's not to say that he doesn't have to work on his own stuff about being enough. But you also have to make sure that in your relationship you're not choosing work over him. And you've admitted that you do it.

And sometimes the money is just so good, it's hard to turn that part of me off.

I get it, I get it. But is the relationship better than the money?

Absolutely.

Well, if the relationship's better than the money, show him. You get that?

I do.

Because I get it. We can get into a rhythm of like, I want, I want the money, I want the money, I want the money. But at the end of the day, the day, he's just saying, I want you to come to me first.

Yeah.

I need you to come to bed. Am I talking for you? Tell her.

I don't want to have to feel like I have to pay for the experience 'cause I shouldn't have to. We're in a relationship together.

That's good.

That's transparent. He's valid.

You get that?

Yeah.

I understand your point of view. Like you gotta build yourself up. You gotta heal those things. But as well, there's boundaries you have to set work. Can you say to him, I commit that I will make you a priority and I will separate my job from our relationship.

I commit to you that I will 100% always have you as my first priority and you can trust anything that I'm telling you. Thank you.

And can you commit to her that you won't shut down when she tells you things about work?

I will, I do commit that to you. I will be more open and not shut down when you are talking about things. I need to be more accepting to what you are doing.

Thank you.

And just as while you're doing that, those two things, those commitments, just continue to work on yourselves separately. I wish you both the best of luck.

I sincerely do.

You're a great couple.

I wish you the best of luck.

Hold up, hold up. Where are you going? I know you wanna watch more Karamo, so click here to subscribe and click here to watch more so we can keep talking and growing, friends. I love you.