Was I Adopted Or Are You My Biological Mother? | KARAMO

I'm here to prove to my son that I'm his biological mother. A year ago, my son Jose told me that I'm not his real mom. It happened when his apartment got robbed, and he thinks that I had something to do with the robbery. I don't know who or what put that idea in his head, but our relationship hasn't been the same since. I haven't spoken to Jose in a year. And I backed off because I didn't know where his mind was at. Every time he would call me, he would hurt me and make me feel like maybe I wasn't his mom. And I don't think whoever put this in his head, it's not fair what he's doing to our relationship. Of course I miss him. We were close. And now it's not the same. I've sacrificed so much for him. I was only, what, 17 when I had him. I defended him, you know, from the get-go because his father didn't want me to have him. And I decided, you know what, this is my child. I remember him the day that he was being born. I remember the, the pains and everything. I remember seeing him and, and holding him and being so proud of my son. I don't see how he can think that I'm not his mother after all that we've gone through.

So you saw paperwork stating that you were adopted. Tell me about that.

Yes, I ended up doing some research and looking up the California Public Record Vitals. And I also received the paper that I have here today that it shows like the adoption system. And first, this is something I wanted to give to you.

Okay. So you put into Google and it says there's an adoption record basically that you can request is what this is saying. Okay, man, I understand. What does your mom say about all of this?

She's trying to stay strong. I don't have that support with my sibling. My mom at this moment, she feels like she's hurt. She's feeling hurt by me.

Did you feel abandoned by your mother growing up?

Yes.

You did, okay then.

And then of course, another thing I realized about me as one of the siblings, like I'm always the darker tone. My skin's a little different compared to my mother and my other brother and my sisters.

Got it, got it, okay. And you started having doubts when things went missing. Explain that.

Yes, an example, like my high school diploma, my birth certificate, and also my social. Mm-hmm.

So those are vital documents. So you think somebody moved them because they didn't want you to find the truth out about yourself?

And then of course, And then the reason why I included my mother, because I also gave her a key to my apartment. To your place?

Yes. So I am feeling concerned about my identity. I don't think you're my mother. I give you a key to my place and all of a sudden my vital documents are missing. I go online and now I receive something trying to get my vital records and I get this about the adoption process.

Yes.

I understand why you have doubts. Do you have a relationship with your father?

I don't, no.

You don't, okay. What about your siblings? Do you have a good relationship with them?

I do not.

You don't?

And the reason why is because when I came out to my mom at a younger age, I told her how I was who I was, I'm sexual-wise, like I'm gay. But the thing is, she always closed doors in my face and she never expressed that feeling towards me. She always avoided me. And that's how I end up as well put into the system by being placed in foster care.

And so when you go into foster care, what age?

Before my 16th birthday.

Got it, okay. So you were older at that time. So what are you hoping the DNA outcome will be today?

That she is my mom. At least I have someone to depend on when I need her. At least now I have confirmation about how we could both move on and grow from this.

Got it. Well, I think everyone, it's time to speak to Maria, your potential mother, to hear her side of the story. So everyone, please welcome Maria to the show.

Sorry.

So you haven't spoken to Jose in a year is what you said.

It's been about a year, yeah.

A year. What is this moment like seeing each other and speaking again?

It feels good that we're together again, but it's hurtful that the reason why we're together. But Jose, when he went to the foster care, he was growing up, he was a teenager himself and he wanted to leave that night. He wanted to go out that night. My mom let him go out when I was in the hospital. I didn't want him to go out for a lot of reasons. Yeah. And he got kind of violent. And plus a lot of other things were going on in my household.

But that's the thing. That's the thing. Like outta all the siblings, I was the only one that was placed in foster care. And honestly it was just like something minor. Like you weren't even there too, but you were not there when they took me from the home.

That's the thing that makes me upset because he assumed that I didn't want nothing to do with him, that he was a, a bother to me. It's not that.

But it was hard.

It was hard though, Ma.

But remember what happened.

Even with a permanent foster, I had so many social workers. I had a probation officer and I was placed in so many other situations. And honestly, like, I gave you heart. There was a moment, I know this is the past, but you have to understand, I wanna bring it up. Even though we had tried to get more connected, it just didn't work out. And honestly, Ever since I've been in the system until my 18th birthday, like even on my birthdays, I don't even look forward to it anymore because it's like it happened before my birthday, foster care. I didn't get much notified from family members about my birthday. And then till this year, I don't look forward to it.

Your birthday.

It's just like it reflects back a lot of that.

So when did you begin to question your relationship about your mother? When did that start to happen?

Honestly, when I was younger, every year on my birthday, you had mentioned to me about how they about to switch me.

Mijo, no.

Yes, you did.

The day that he was born, it was just him and another little girl. I remember that day clearly when he was born.

Yeah.

I think when, like he says, he brings things up that happened to him in foster care. If he was in a good place, why didn't they tell me that he was going through so much? They didn't tell me anything. They always made me believe he was better, he was fine, nothing was happening to him.

'Cause I wasn't fine. Being molested at a young age is not okay. And then I told you that, and you, like, I'm not saying you're a bad mom, I love you. It's just like, I wish you said something. Because honestly, I, besides me coming out, it led me to being put in like the system, foster care, led me into knowing that Like I'm here today to finding my DNA because honestly a lot of this trauma.

I always kept quiet with when something was not right. They always, when I was molested, I told my mom the same thing what happened to me and she just said, "You're crazy." Shut the door in my face.

You did that to me too.

And I wanna be clear for the record, is Jose adopted?

No, he's not.

Okay. He said earlier that there was a break into his house where his vital documents were stolen. Were you involved in the breakup?

I had nothing to do with it.

Because like for me, I'm asking these questions just to make sure that I can track your concerns, your concerns, and get the truth. 'Cause in every story there's a truth. What I'm confused about though is that why a year of not communicating? 'Cause I'm clearly seeing there's like trauma here. Was it your decision to not communicate? Was it your decision? Why did you all separate for this long time?

He was living at the house at the time, at my house. And I wasn't home a lot. The reason why I'm not home is 'cause I'm seeing someone else.

But you had messaged me before you did anything. You said, "God bless you, hope things go great." You blocked me.

So you're saying a man is what got between you two?

No, that didn't happen between me two.

So I'm confused though, why?

Yeah, it's confusing. Okay, the day that I text him and said, "You know what, have a good life, God bless you," is when he called me and he said, "Mom," I'm adopted, you're not my mom. I heard this, that you have a house under my name.

I did all this on my own when I lived in my own place.

He says that.

And when I needed all the documents, that's when a lot of this stuff is escalating to the point things are missing.

Okay.

And it's like the worst people, the most people I needed to trust is the people I was close to. But if they don't have answers, that's why I'm here today.

So Maria, from your point of view, it was like he's accusing you about stolen things and then also he's saying you're not my mother.

Exactly. And I was hurt by that. I was hurt 'cause I don't like people just approaching me and telling me a bunch of lies. And when he's telling me these things, I can't get a word in. His voice is raised, it's through a phone. I didn't do anything to him. I didn't steal from him. I don't have a house under his name. When he approached me and he was crying, he goes, "Mom, are you scared that I'm gonna find out the truth?" No, I'm scared and I'm crying because I feel like the day that, the moment you find out that I am your mom, you're gonna feel disappointed. Because I'm not perfect.

I know it is based on who you are, but I'm not happy with the mistakes that have happened, but I will still respect you as a mother because I don't have any person above me for that. And honestly, I want that. I told you today, even being at the hotel, I told you I want this just to come to an end because it hurts me too. I'm like feeling sick to the stomach. I can't deal with it. Yeah, but it hurts.

Well, I think it's time to get to the DNA truth. Yes. I mean, hearing you say that this makes you sick to your stomach, seeing the hurt and pain that this not having this truth has caused both of you, it's, it's time for you to know.

I want to say something before When the whole thing of being gay, I was never against him being gay. I knew from when he was young that he was gay. I knew it, okay? I didn't think anything of it.

Why did you put me in foster care if that's how you felt? 'Cause honestly, that's the reason why I got placed in there because of you, how you felt and how you wanted me to feel. And Mom, you don't handle me by putting me in the system. You handle me by talking to me in the room one by one.

Yes.

If you want, like, again, my biggest issue was me coming to you and asking you to talk to me talk to you and beg you and beg you and beg you while you close the door. At least I could now see, like, you know, if you wanted just me to leave you alone, I'll leave you alone, but don't put me out of the house. Because honestly, Mom, I hate it. I hate it because I went with people I didn't even know.

I wish I could, I could, I wish I could just talk to the people who took him and told me all these advices.

I understand, yeah, I get it, I get it, I really do, I understand.

But go ahead and read the results. I want you to see, and I told you to read it. I really hope I hope that you could forgive me 'cause I wasn't a perfect mom.

Listen, as people know here, this is not my truth to open. I'm just here to support you all no matter what these results say. So this is for you to open. Please read it out loud.

I still love you.

So can I see this? I just wanna make sure. It says you're—

She is my mom.

It says you're about out to come on down.

Yeah, I am.

I mean, what I appreciate that has happened on this stage is that you've gotten some answers. Because this biggest thing that has hung over your head is, I felt so different, my skin tone, me being thrown out the house, the way my father has treated me, the way everyone has treated me made me feel different and it made you feel rejected. And so this clearly shows you why you are feeling rejected. But now you know that this is your family and now you can start working on that. What your mother did is apologizing and saying she's sorry. I understand where you were in your world. You were hurt, you were taught a certain thing, you were abused yourself. Yourself. And so I think sometimes we forget as the younger ones, and this is not to excuse any of the way you're feeling because you're valid for your feelings, we forget to give grace 'cause you're still learning and you're still growing.

I'm proud of you, mijo. I'm so darn proud of you for you actually having to speak up. But now I'm here to have your back. You understand? We're gonna get through this.

What is going on in your mind right now?

That doesn't fix everything. Oh. It doesn't.

No, it doesn't.

It doesn't. But what you've done, well, I'm gonna get to you now, is I'm proud of you because what you've shown is that you do have a voice and you're gonna speak up and you're gonna make sure you don't ever hide. And so what you have done is you've inspired so many people here who might be at home saying like, how do I talk about what I'm feeling? How do I talk about what went through me? You're showing them it's okay to express your voice. But I truly believe that your mother, your mother is willing to do the work. She's willing to do the work. This DNA proved that she's your biological mother, but there is now some work that's gonna be done and she's willing to do it.

Yes, I'm gonna be there.

Do you believe that?

Regardless, just don't push me away, I'll be there. I'll be there.

Mom, I believe your growth and I see your growth and I'm so thankful for your growth. Because what you're modeling is what many people need to see is that just because I made bad decisions in the past doesn't mean that I can't make better ones in the present.

Exactly.

And she's gonna make better decisions for you. And I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you for speaking your truth, for speaking up and for knowing. But I want you to know you're loved and you belong. You belong to this woman.

Yes.

And so you no longer have to doubt who do you belong to? If people want, if she wants you and you are loved. And it's time for you to start healing. If I offer some therapy for you, will you take it?

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah?

But that's the thing, when I was little, I always been in counseling therapy. I'm just tired of it.

Okay, I hear that.

But now we can do it together. Can I be with him during this counseling?

Yes, you can.

We can both meet.

Yes.

Where we're all like, they're almost the same person.

Yes. I understand that. I understand that. Listen, it's a decision you get to make backstage. Think about it. But I think that that's going to help. I understand what it's like for kids to go through that, but you're an adult now who can express what you're feeling. And also the person that you felt most rejected by is willing to go with you and she's willing to talk with you. And that's where the real healing grows. So think about that, but know it's an offer for you, okay? But I wish you both the best of luck.

Thank you so much.

Best of luck. Really, I do. Seriously. All right, everyone.