We Had A One-Night Stand But I Know You're The Father! | KARAMO

Right, she look cute, right?

Yeah.

Thank you. All right, so tell me about this one night stand.

Okay, so it was last Halloween last year. At the time I was working at a sports bar type of bar where, you know, your breasts are out, your butt is out, you know what I mean? And so I had a coworker there and she had a boyfriend. So the boyfriend had a friend which was Xavier. And so after I got off my shift, we all decided to go out and have a good time. Went bar hopping. And so at the end of the night, they left and I offered to take Xavier home. And that is how that happened. And that's how we're here.

Okay, you like it. That's how we here. You told my producers though that you blocked Xavier. What happened?

I did. So at the time, like, I was just so tired of platonic relationships. I grew up without a dad. And it led me to so much toxic relationships. And so I blocked Xavier. Because I was just tired of repeating those cycles with myself. So I quit my jobs, I quit the sports bar, I blocked Xavier because I didn't want any guy using me for sex. And I felt like that's where that was going.

[Speaker] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Smart, smart, smart.

So when did you find out you were pregnant?

[Speaker] End of December. I had, you know, been in encounters with multiple other guys. Not one night stands per se, but like just how many guys I was involved with, I just didn't think I could get pregnant, especially from a one night stand. I'm not used to one night stands.

[Speaker] Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're like, this could happen. And so when did you tell Xavier? You found out in December?

So I unblocked him immediately when I found out because when I found out that I was pregnant, my mind immediately knew that it was Xavier. So I knew that I needed to unblock him. So I did unblock him, but turns out he was in Hawaii. So I—

I mean, he moved or was visiting?

He was visiting. He was visiting. And so from there I was just trying to build a friendship until he got back. I didn't know how to feel. I didn't know what I was doing. And so I waited for him to get back The very next day he got back to Texas, I told him that I was pregnant.

Got it, got it. And when you finally told him, what did he say?

He wanted me to have an abortion. And I don't judge Xavier for that because when I initially found out that I was pregnant, I scheduled an abortion.

Yeah.

But, and no one knew, but I knew that I had to tell my mom just because I didn't feel right if I were to have an abortion.

Yeah.

So I told my mom and she just was my support the entire way. She immediately told me, don't do that. You know, there are other options despite the circumstances. I did let her know this was a one night stand. I do not know him.

Yeah.

But my mom supported me.

Got it. And that's good. Yeah, great mom. So he said to have the abortion and you said no. Did he ghost you or did he stay around? What did he do?

It wasn't too long, less than a month. We were in a little bit of communication with each other. From that point, we've only met once. I've only seen his face once and I was intoxicated. We don't know each other.

Yeah, anyway, yeah.

Right, so from there he told me, hey, okay, you know what, let's meet up. I'm tired of doing this on the phone stuff. I sent him a text message saying, okay, next week I can do, I told him the days that I can meet up with him and from there I did not hear from him.

Wow, wow, wow. How did that make you feel after you ghosted him? 'Cause I know you don't know him, he's a stranger, but you kind of felt like maybe we're in communication, we can meet up, you know?

It hurt. I didn't like it, but at the same time, I knew that there was a bigger picture and I had to be strong. I couldn't put my energy and my focus towards that. I had to be strong for my baby.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. 'Cause your physical and mental health was most important. You carrying the child. Yeah. So why are you sure that Xavier could be the father?

There is no other chance. Like I said, right after me and him had that encounter, from there I completely was slowly, of course I didn't do a 180 overnight, but slowly but surely I was changing my life around. And I knew, and I know that I know this is him. Xavier's child.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I always have to ask this. What will you do if the results come back that he's not the father?

I mean, like I said, this is his child.

Yeah, you know.

But I mean, I don't know what I would do. I mean, it's gonna be shocking 'cause I'm like, okay, well what?

Yeah, like what going on? Yeah, okay.

But this is his child.

My producer told me that you did meet up with Xavier last night.

Yes.

And you two fell back into old patterns.

Yes. Yes. I know. He did, we initially didn't go to the room together, But he did come over.

Got it.

And yes.

Has he met or seen the baby?

No, he has not seen the baby. He didn't wanna see a picture just because he wants to know that he knows that this is his child.

Before he gets involved.

And he says he doesn't wanna have that emotional attachment because he had been through this with someone else where someone else had lied to him and told him that she was pregnant.

So he hasn't even seen a picture?

No picture.

No picture.

Wow. No picture.

So with y'all cooking up last night, is there some, could there be something more that could happen? Like, is he in a relationship?

No, from what I know, no. But, and we did have this talk, I told him that I really just want to be there for Kayden. I feel like—

Co-parenting. Co-parenting. Yeah, yeah.

I really just feel like if we start, if we try to build something, I don't feel like right now that we're in a place where it's gonna be healthy.

Got it.

Just where I'm at mentally.

Yeah.

I need to really just be here for Kayden and focus on building myself up.

Got it. Okay. Well, I think it's time to hear what Xavier has to say about this. So everyone please welcome Xavier to the show. Hey Xavier, how you doing, man? Thank you for being here. So Xavier, what do you have to say about what you just heard?

It's 100% accurate. It's just the ghosting part.

Yeah, okay.

So the reason why I did what I did, because previous she told me she was pregnant. I said, okay, all right, I'm gonna have my first child. She asked for money, I give it to her, you know, support.

And then she just, But I feel like in that moment, you could have at least, we could have at least moved forward with at least saying, hey, like, can we at least do a paternity test? Or let's, I just feel like instead of ghosting, there could have been something for you to be there for me instead of you just completely walking out.

Nah, it was about how you went about it though. It's a, it's, it's, hold on.

So how did I go about it?

It's about how you communicated to me.

Because the first thing that I sent you was an ultrasound. I sent you 2 ultrasounds and then I asked for money, but that was like a month and a half later.

Yeah, but at the time I'm confused 'cause I didn't wanna go through the same thing I went through before, you feel me? It's just the you asking for money part, it just brought it back.

So why did the money part throw you? I know you said that before another woman had did this to you. Yeah. But why did that throw you? 'Cause I think, well, the reason I'm asking that question 'cause whatever this lesson is for you that you are experiencing, maybe someone else at home is experiencing that and can maybe make a different choice.

So like I said, how she broke it down to me, she was like, you can just financially be there without physically being there.

But going back before money was in the equation.

I've been buying things, which hasn't been the easiest. If you wanna Zelle this number or Apple Pay me, you know, help financially support our child, that would be very much appreciated. And then you say Happy Father's Day.

So before though, the money thing, before asking for money from March to May, before even money was brought, because I knew not to ask him for money initially.

Yeah.

So before even asking for money, why from March to May, we couldn't figure something out there when I sent you those ultrasound.

So did you tell him about the phone call we had when you first called him?

What was the phone call? Tell me.

When she first told me that she was pregnant.

Yeah.

When she told me, she told me that I didn't have to physically be there, just financially just support him. Then I didn't agree with that. I was like, if I'm gonna have a son, I'm gonna be in his life. Yeah. I'm gonna go both ways, you feel me?

Yeah.

For real.

But I feel like I didn't just ask you for money initially and I do have the phone call recorded, I didn't just ask you for money initially.

She got receipts.

I do. 'Cause I knew that this was his kid and I was scared. I didn't know him from a can of paint, so I didn't know who he was.

Yeah, of course. Yeah.

So like I said, I understand the shock. I don't judge you for wanting me to have an abortion. That was my first thing. That was my first initial reaction. My just thing was like, why do you feel like just because I asked for money, there was like, you had to feel like that I was, I'm not her. You know what I mean? Like you could have—

It came outta nowhere though.

At the end of the day, you came outta nowhere and loved me.

But at the end of the day, we did both come and have sex. So it takes two people to make a baby.

Do you have any other children?

No.

No other children. So this would be your first? Yeah. Yeah. Xavier, what happened last night?

We were just chilling.

Just chilling.

Talking.

Okay. I mean, we already know y'all reconnected and hooked up. So you told producers that you had no interest in seeing what the baby looked like. Why?

I wanted to know on paper that he's mine.

Yeah, before you see.

Before I see.

So you haven't caught one glimpse of the child, anything? Anything, haven't seen the child at all?

No, I don't.

Okay.

Until I know for sure he's mine.

So if I put up a photo in the back right now, are you okay with that to see what the photo is? You're not gonna turn around? Okay.

But why? I just, I really wanna know that. Like why do you feel like just leaving me, not even seeing a picture, I wanted you to at least see him. Like I want you to know who he is.

How old is the baby now?

He's 5 months.

5 months, okay.

I will get like attached quick. You know what I'm saying?

No, I understand you wanted to protect yourself emotionally. It's similar to what you were doing in a different instance. And I understand both sides. It's like, if we made this baby, and I'm confident that we have, I want you to see them and I want you to be a part. But at the same rate, similar to how you were like, I gotta protect my emotions, I see that you're like, if I see this child, I'm gonna get attached. And then if it possibly turns out to not be mine, like now I found myself falling for a child. And you said this happened to you once before where a woman pinned a baby on you? And was that, at that time, was it found out that the child wasn't yours?

Child was never here.

Yeah, yeah, I get it. If this is your baby, are you gonna try to have a relationship? Yeah. With her? Yeah. Yes? Yeah. Yes? I mean, I clearly know you're attracted to her and I feel, I like your temperament right now. I mean, I know you're not in the space for it, but does that make you a little happy?

It does, but I don't know him. This is like, Literally, I'm meeting him for the first time, essentially. So it's just like, I just really just wanna focus on us for Kaden. Not us for each other.

Yeah, I love that. Listen, I'm all about co-parenting and making it healthy, 'cause it makes it healthier for the child. But I think it's time to unlock the DNA truth. Tabitha, in this envelope is the DNA truth that you've been waiting for. This is your truth to open, not mine. So here you go.

Xavier, like I said, I don't judge you for what you did. I'm very forgiving. I forgive you. I just wish you would have been there for me.

Yeah, I'm sorry for that. Like I said, at the time I was confused and I'm gonna make it up to you and I hope that he's mine.

Thank you.

Like I said, I'm very sorry. Deadass, I'm sorry for not being there.

I forgive you, you know.

I understand that.

Okay. Xavier, Kayden is your biological son.

Let's go. I see it. So Xavier, I have one question for you. Are you ready to see what your child looks like?

I'm not ready.

Can we pull up the photo now?

Oh.

Oh. That's a little happy, cute baby. That's a beautiful baby.

How do you feel?

Good.

He look like me.

He does look like you.

Yeah, I think he has his eye shape and his nose shape.

He does have your eye shape and your nose shape.

He has your smile.

Yeah. He's saying mama, but I've been trying to teach him that actually.

He got my eyes, my forehead.

So how, just from your perspective, how do you think we can move forward co-parenting? I just, I want this to be healthy and obviously us hooking up last night, should not have been a thing. And I just, I really want him to grow up knowing that we both love him.

[Speaker:KARAMO] Yeah, well I can tell you, I believe that he'll grow up knowing that there's love because what I've just seen here, and I've seen many couples in front of me before, the communication and the temperament was very clear that you all are going to be able to co-parent. I believe that as long as you don't allow any outside factors to come in between y'all, y'all will be able to do that. Because part of what you need, yeah, part of what you both need is security. Security is going to help you to trust more. And if you all can be that security for each other in a non-codependent way, but in a way of like, I just wanna talk to you, like you said before, building your friendship. And especially since you're gonna be in each other's lives for the rest of your lives. Yeah. It's gonna be nice if you can build the foundation now of like, hey, I just wanna be you, somebody I can lean on. I don't need you to solve my problems, but I just wanna know that you're a safe space for me to talk to. And if you all can remember that, this co-parenting journey is going to be beautiful. For the next 25, 30 years. Okay. Congratulations, Xavier.

Appreciate it.

You got a beautiful baby boy. A very beautiful baby boy.