We Had a Threesome Then My Man Got My BFF Pregnant! | KARAMO

Tell me about this threesome.

Well, basically I started out with my friend and everything and her partner.

Okay.

And then once me and Octavius actually started seeing each other, that's when it actually happened.

Okay, then got it.

I started it off with him because he was new to it basically.

So he had never had a threesome before? Mm-mm. And so why was it important for you with this new relationship to start having a threesome?

I mean, we was having fun at the time. So at the time we was friends and about to get into a relationship, so. That's where it started basically.

And this was your friend before, right?

Yes, I met her in Beauty Schools of America.

Okay, you met her in school. Okay, got it, got it. And did you ever have feelings for this friend?

With her, no.

Okay, just sexual feelings?

Yes.

Okay then, got it.

Just to please.

Okay, just to please. Okay, got it. So how did you find out that Octavius and this friend, we'll call her T, were having sex behind your back?

A dream.

A dream?

Mm-hmm.

Okay, okay. What happened in the dream?

At the time, he was babysitting my dad's house while he was out of town. And the dream, I seen them where they were both on the floor. And then when I woke up in the dream, I seen them in the action. So in the dream, I was trying to fight both of them when she pushed me back and everything like that. And after that, that's when I woke up.

Got it, okay. Look at that intuition. So when did you find out that he had gotten her pregnant?

My daughter, I had my daughter and then maybe like 5 days later after I came home 'cause I had a C-section. I started seeing ultrasounds and like initials of the names.

Wow. Where did you see that? Like on?

On Instagram.

On Instagram. Mm-hmm. So you're seeing this stuff on Instagram. At this point, are you and her still close? Are y'all friends? No. No.

No.

So after all of that, why still stay with Octavius?

'Cause I love him.

Because you love him. Okay, I understand. And do you still talk to T? You said no, right? Got it. And that's because of her choice. If she wanted to be back in your life, would you talk to her?

No. Well, at this point, no.

Got it. So why did you and Octavius break up last year?

Because of me accusing him and basically I know it was frustrating him. And plus, like I say, us dealing with our financial lives, that's taking a toll on us too. But it was more of me saying, oh, you doing this and you doing that.

So hold on, what were you accusing him of?

Basically still seeing her and like having sex basically.

Got it, okay. Seeing two. Why is that a bother for you? Because you introduced it.

You're right, but me and him was in a relationship and it like, they should know where is a line.

Did you establish that line?

Yes. And then like I say, it went over their head. So like they made it seem like it wasn't a line.

Okay, okay, got it. And you said financially, what's going on there?

We're just not in a space like where we could keep, like we were above water, but we're not there like. Everything's crashing. Like he wants to be in a better position. I want to be in a better position and it's not going away.

Do you work right now?

No.

You don't work. Okay then, does he work?

Yes.

Okay. Is he still seeing T?

From what I know, yes. 'Cause I've seen, accidental, but I've seen that they have met up.

Wow. I thought you were really gonna tell me no, especially at the time of y'all intimate. So you know that he's still seeing T?

Yeah, but like I said, sexual-wise, I'm not asking. He says no, so. If it's no, I'm gonna take that. But like I said, I know he still sees her.

Because you saw messages or something?

No, I seen a video.

Oh, you saw a video? What was the video?

Just them, they was out, I don't know. They said they was at a food truck and he was just showing her how she was looking all crazy and stuff. And other than that, that was just that.

Oh wow.

He didn't mean to post it.

Oh God.

I brought it to his attention.

Oh, so he posted it on accident?

Yeah.

Oh.

Well, are they seeing each other because they have a child together or is it because you think they're being intimate? Because they do have to co-parent even though you're not in a relationship.

No, I understand that. And honestly, like I say, they still see each other because I know that she has feelings for him.

Got it.

That she wants what I have.

So I'm confused. So are you in a relationship with him right now?

I ask, no.

No. So you're not in a relationship?

No.

Okay. So you're not in a relationship, so you're just, are you—

Co-parenting, I guess.

Co-parenting with sex on the side?

Yes.

Okay. But you want more?

Mm-hmm.

Okay. And you feel like he doesn't want more or do you think he does?

He does, he's just scared.

All right. Okay. Well listen, I wanna hear what Octavius has to say about all this. So let's welcome Octavius to the show. How do you feel about what was just said?

Um.

It's interesting that you touched her hand and then sat in the farther seat. Do you wanna sit closer to your girl?

Okay.

I just wanna know, okay. So why don't you wanna be in a relationship right now?

Okay, as of right now, my thing is, as far as being in a relationship, I can't do it because mentally I'm not stable enough. Okay, mentally not stable. Mentally, I'm not gonna lie to you, as much as I'm going through right now, I can't help her, I can barely help myself. There's been a lot of things that gone within this past maybe couple years. Mentally, I'm not there.

What's going on with you and T?

I mean, nothing. We have a good relationship.

Co-parenting?

Yes.

Any feelings?

I mean, after the fact, we were very intimate. Feelings were there. Feelings were there and everything. We were very intimate about a lot of things.

It looks like we just got a ping, and my producer telling me that this ping is from T. Let's take a listen.

I became friends with her and I attached to her because I felt bad for her, for her family situation. We share a lot. Our children's father. It started off consensual between the three of us. Yes, things happened behind closed doors, behind her back. Was never intended to like, you know, come after her. I didn't owe her any loyalty after us no longer being around each other, and he continuously stayed around me. Octavius is a grown man and he has a right to change his mind. He decided he wants to do something different, and if that's me, I'm sorry. Like, I'm— it's not like I'm out here just set out to come for anybody, you know? You have to grow up at some point and I don't know what it is that I can do to help her to become a better version of herself, but you can't keep blaming me for another person making the decision that they wanna make as well.

She said something that was interesting. She said that you blame her for him contacting her.

I mean, yes, 'cause you could not text back. You don't have to answer the phone unless it has something to do with the child.

Yeah, but why blame her and not him?

Because honestly, I blame both. I blame her. It's not to say I've been blaming both. It's just the fact now since he's closer to me, he's getting more of the rage 'cause I can't get to her.

Octavius, you told my producer that you want Imani outta your house.

Yeah, I did say that. I did say that. I said that because only because being around each other so, so much, we aren't working on each other individually. Right now we should be working on each other individually. She could leave the house even though we're not in a relationship. I'm worried about what's going on. I worry about Imani a lot.

Well, I understand your concern. This is your child's mother, so I get your concern. But have you ever told her directly that you don't want her to be in the house?

Yes, she does. But my thing is, I can't, the house that he wants me to go back to, I can't be staying there.

Where's the house he wants you to go back to?

My grandmother's. And that's my grandmother's apartment.

The reason I say her mom's, her grandma's house, the only reason I said is because that's, to me, it's a safe house. I understand that her and her mom don't go, don't, get along all the time, but there is love there. They just don't know how to place it.

So before I talk about this mother anymore, I wanna be clear. Octavius, you do not want to be with Imani right now and you do not want her to live with you? Correct. Got it. Did you hear that?

Yes.

So why is it that you can't live with your mother? I heard you say that y'all just get on each other's nerves and it goes back and forth.

You said she tried to manipulate your child.

She wanted me to parent. She always talking about my weight. She bringing up my daddy. He's been dead 3 years already and I'm tired of it.

I got it, okay. Well listen, Imani's mother Sanji is also here today. So everyone please welcome Sanji to the show. Hey Sanji. Thank you for being here. You look great.

Thank you.

How do you feel about what was just said?

A lot of it I don't agree with and I love my daughter. I love my daughter. My daughter and I problems started when she was 14. She says I don't love her. Imani start going south when the same father that she's speaking of used to help her run away from me. I didn't just give up on my child. I'm not perfect. Lord knows I'm not a perfect mother. I just wanted my daughter not to do what I did. My adult life was wasted on meaningless relationship with men.

Question for you because I see how the breakdown of the communication. Does this breakdown of communication ever get physical?

Yes, she tries. She has tried to fight me on several times.

No.

Yes, he has.

And I have witnesses.

So, okay, well hold on. Before I get to the clarity of this, I just realized something. Octavius?

Yes, sir.

You don't belong out here. So what I'm gonna ask you to do is, you've been clear about what you want with Imani. You've been very clear. You don't want a relationship and you don't want her living with you. Got it. You're sending mixed signals by still sleeping with her. Mm-hmm. And you know that you need to stop sleeping with her. Yes, sir. Okay. You have to hear that as a woman. When a man tells you where they're at, and you can't keep holding onto it.

But I feel like I'm helping, like.

But you're not, he's telling you. So again, this is where you got to listen. So you should stop sleeping with her so that she can actually fully hear you. And I'm gonna work on this, okay?

Okay.

Thank you so much for being here. Are you receiving what I just said right there? You sure? Well, we have a message from your sister Ashanti.

There have been times beforehand where Imani and my mama has gotten into altercations, and the most recent time was actually a few months ago where I had to step in between them where they were arguing and Imani was charging at my mom. And obviously I'm not going to let anybody, you know, put their hands on my mom, but it also makes me feel bad that their arguments get to the point where I have to choose between either my mom or my sister. I know that my mom has her own personal issues that may play a part as well as Imani, but I feel as though they both need to set those aside and really talk to each other.

Got it. So what were you saying to me?

She finds it disrespectful when I tell, if I tell my daughter to do something, like if it's time to bed, 9 o'clock, 9:30 is bedtime. She shouldn't be up no 10 o'clock, 11 o'clock on a tablet. It's bedtime. When you at daddy house, you know the routine, but when it's over there, I feel like my parenting has been pushed aside. Oh, this my baby. She gonna do what she wanna do 'cause she here with me.

Is that true?

She's too aggressive with me. She's a good mother. I'm not gonna take that.

She's just getting frustrated 'cause she's not listening. Am I trying to listen to her?

Can I talk? Imani is a good mother, but she's too aggressive with Myasia. And she's speaking of this incident, the incident that led up to her wanting to fight me. Myasia has been the only child for 5 years. So now that the new baby come, all this particular night, the night she tried to fight me, Myasia was saying, "Where's my mommy? Where's my mommy? Where's my mommy?" I was like, "Baby, she coming." The baby had been asking for her mom all day. All she see is her mama gone with the baby. So that led into the argument with me saying I'm trying to parent her when all I felt like Myasia just wanted 5 minutes with her mother. 'Cause she's aggressive with Myasia. She hold brothers against me, but she forgive everybody else no matter. And I have nothing against Tabby, but whatever Tabby done, she forgives him. Whatever her daddy done, she forgives him. But then it come to me, I get her ass to kiss. But no matter what, when Imani need me, I'm there. I spent 21 years of my life, 20 years of my life giving up to men. What all I end up with? I'm thankful for my children, but what all, I lost myself.

You two mirror each other's behavior.

Yes, she is me. I told her that.

I even, even had an engagement. Let me tell you the reason I brought up that you all mirror each other is because the thing that I realize about your relationship with Octavius was that you didn't wanna hear him. You don't listen. And then you came out and I realized you don't listen to her.

I do listen when she talk, but she doesn't talk to me.

No, no, no. I'm gonna tell you, and this is not to disrespect the other girl.

I understand, I understand.

It's just tell you what I observe. You don't listen to her because one of the things, and you don't listen to her either, but I understand where you learned it from. So it's just a pattern of no one's listening. You two spend a lot of time talking over each other. You two spend a lot of time repeating the same things and you're not hearing what each other is saying.

And I'm not blaming it on heritage, but that's just that Caribbean in me. I get hyped up, I get passionate, but I love my child.

That's the same thing she just said about herself. She said, I'm not aggressive. I know, I just, I get hyped. I'm not trying to attack nobody.

I don't go put my hands on nobody. She be quick to put her hands on me.

How can she possibly get upset? So let me show y'all something real quick. Really quickly.

So why, what you expect me to feel?

You think I wanna see you dead? You think I wanna see you dead? You think you actually wanna see the girl that you keep showing things to? So I went out and ripped out money? I can't love you 'cause you won't let me love you. Then why she ask you why she always wanna buck up and hit her mama?

So listen to me is what I need y'all both to do. I need y'all to listen to me because I see there's a lot that y'all want to get out because neither, see what you're seeing here and what is being exhibited is when I don't feel like Someone's hearing me. I gotta get every point out. And what is happening is that this is just bleeding into the rest of your lives. You don't listen, you don't listen. Let me tell you why I understand why this is going to take a long time for this to ever heal is because y'all are so busy defending your points that you're not willing to hear each other. You should not move back in with your mother. I do believe that you're going to have to find somewhere else to go.

I feel like if it's not, with the kid's dad or her, I'm going to a shelter.

I got it. If I was to give you a little bit of money for a deposit for an apartment, would that give you the stuff to get on your feet?

Yes.

Okay, then I'm gonna do that for you because—

Thank you.

Because I want you to get somewhere and to get some support. And the reason I'm doing this is that, here you go. What's making you emotional right now?

'Cause that's all I've been trying to do. Like, I don't know where else to go.

Like, I'm trying to look back.

She's stuck, she's stuck.

I just like, all my money keep, it's not, yeah, I spend on what I sometimes want, but like, most of my money go to what I need and everything like that. I can't save if everybody needs something.

I understand. Once you're able to get your own place, what you two have to do is I want you to schedule calls. This is the only advice I got for you. I want you to schedule calls where on that call, one person gets to talk and the other person doesn't do anything but listen. And this is a challenge. If you're a mom, you're gonna have to model it first. So what's gonna happen is she's gonna call and you're gonna say, "Hey baby, how are you doing?" And you're just gonna let her talk. And for 15 minutes you can't say a single word. I can do that. If you can do that, I promise you it will be the first step in healing your relationship. And if the other person starts talking, just hang up the phone.

She doesn't like that.

Sorry, it's gonna have to happen. It's gonna happen because otherwise, I promise you, if you don't take this advice, and I know what I'm talking about, if you don't take this advice, in another 20 years, y'all gonna be sitting here still not communicating properly. So I wish y'all the best of luck and I'll stay in contact, all right?