We Have 2 Babies, Stop Acting Like A Child! | KARAMO

So my producers told me that you two got into an argument before coming on the show.

Yes.

Why, what happened?

First of all, I work 12-hour shifts at a hospital, so I came in and we already have two babies. I had to put my son to sleep and he wants, basically he wanted more quality time, if you know what I mean. And I was just tired.

Yeah.

So he always acts when I'm asleep or, you know, that's how it all stemmed out.

You just told me the schedule of a 40-year-old woman. You got 12-hour shifts, two kids, if you feel like it.

My first big girl job from fast food.

Yes, yes. And then, And then you also had to come home trying to figure out intimate time. Yes. Whew, I'm tired for you, sister. How old are you again?

19.

19. Right, now y'all see why I said that was, that's like the schedule my mama used to tell me she had, you know what I mean? So is it true that Jamari didn't want to come on the show?

It's just the fact that he doesn't want to be misjudged or our family, he's scared our family gonna watch the show and think of him in a bad way or think of us.

Oh yeah, I don't judge people. What changed his mind?

'Cause I was like, if I'm tired, we've been together since 15, 16, since kids. So it was like, you're either gonna be with me or you're not. And I'm not gonna keep going through the same accusing. We have two babies. I'm just trying to settle down and I don't want any extra toxic behavior.

Got it, got it. So you're the one who called the show today, right? Yes. What were you hoping for?

Hoping to fix our communication 'cause we talk over each other so much.

Ooh, okay.

And just fix Traumas, just trying to get on a good level with him.

Okay, so you wanna prove you're not cheating as well, correct?

Yes.

Yeah, so when did he start accusing you of cheating?

Since the beginning.

Since the beginning? Since y'all were like 16?

But it's really based off how we met. So it's like we was all, we was just doing our own thing and it's really stemming off of that.

When you were 16, tell me what you mean. So like y'all started dating but you had somebody on the side, he had somebody?

Yeah, it was a lot. We didn't think we was gonna be serious. But then when we started being serious and I had my son, it's like we were trying to grow, but he has very bad, you know, insecure and he thinks a lot. He's an overthinker. That's really the root of the problem.

So 16, y'all met, but then once you had the child, how long after 16 did you get pregnant?

I got, I'll say 6 months.

6 months into y'all meeting each other, you got pregnant. So before your 17th birthday, you were pregnant. Okay then. And that's when you said, "We're gonna be together." Yes, that's when he was like, "You know what?

We've been ride or die for this long. Haven't split up anything." So we were just wanting to be a family. My mom took us in 'cause that's when we were homeless.

Got it.

At the time, so.

Deonna, my producers say he said he wishes the two of you never had children.

Yes, he has said that one time.

Okay, he did say that. How'd that make you feel?

It's the fact that when we, it was a very bad blow. I can't really remember the specific argument, but it was a very bad blowup when we had split up. And he was saying that having kids with me, he's never regretted his children. We always say it's a blessing. Our son and daughter came at a perfect time for both of you two.

Got it. So both of you, he does say that that's—

It's just he has a problem saying things outta anger.

What are you lying for?

Huh? You wanna take a seat? Nice to meet you. So I'm assuming, Jamari, that you heard something that upset you.

Yo, you talking about I never wish I had my kids? That's just a lie.

No, when we had—

That's a lie. That's a lie. When the last time I said that?

Demar was a year ago.

A year ago? Talking about a year ago? Name the time I said that. Actually, name the moment I said that. What was the—

And you was saying no, not that you had your kids with me. What did you do when we was— when you thought I was doing something? You said with you. I never said—

okay, if I said I would— what did you do? That was the time. That was the time I did what?

No, we had split up and you said you regretted having kids with me. You didn't never regret your kids.

I see what type of show this is. Let's do it.

Come on. What is upsetting you right now?

What's upsetting me is That innocence is killing me. Like, if you was that type of person, if you was that type of innocent person, if you introduced yourself as that type of innocent person, if you introduced yourself showing like that you wasn't that type of person, then I would have came a different way. When you keep trying to play mind games and it's like when I go through your phone, you know how iPhones got ways you cut video, right? And then it just show part of the video. So I'm going through her phone, I'm looking at the phone, And then something told me to press edit, so I pressed edit and then I opened up more of a video that was cut off. The video showed her and her friend getting out the car 'cause the dude was driving an SRT.

That's when we was talking.

Come down here and stop talking to me. The dude was driving an SRT and doing all that extra stuff. She talking about, "Ooh, oh my God, they driving a car." Come on, let's go, girl. Like, what the hell is you talking about, bruh? And then you wonder why I left and did all that extra stuff. And then it's like when you fight, try to tell me not to leave, You want me to hurt in front of you? You not finna sit there and keep telling me this and that and then this and that and not giving me reassurance, reassurance.

So Shamaria, I got two questions to ask you because there's two things going on here. The first we're gonna get back to, which is what she said about the first time or the only time that you had said you didn't want to be a father. But I'm gonna address your issue first.

I said that because of the stuff that's going on. No, I'm just saying.

It was with me though. When I pissed you off, you said with me.

You gave him the okay to say that.

I literally said you said your kids were a blessing. I said you didn't wanna have kids with me.

Okay, why didn't you say that on the show? Why didn't you say it on the show? What did I try to say? That I didn't say, no, it's not about correcting nothing. You should've said it from the point on. I do a lot for my kids. I'm in my kids' life for them, not even for this relationship, to be honest with you. I'm gonna be like, don't say ooh, nothing. It's not entertainment, bro.

Jamari, someone asked you this. When did the trust issue start for you in this relationship?

Trust issue started when? I don't even, man.

Man. Tell the truth.

You want me to check the video out, bro? Look, I ain't trying to make it look bad on here, bro.

Ain't nothing to look bad about.

I ain't trying to make it look bad. I already opened my phone. Like I said, bro, when we first met, it was not supposed to be what it was. I'mma let you know that. It was not supposed to be what it was. But—

You were 16, you were young, and you met. She said that you were both in situations.

I wasn't in no situations. I was in a great situation.

What started the trust issues? So were you two— Did she cheat on you in the beginning?

It wasn't even trust issues in the beginning. It was like, when you first see somebody, you supposed to know, like, you can tell what type of person they is. How I met her, it was not supposed to go like this. Like, it was supposed to—

So because of the choices you all made to have sex, your life went a different way. Is that what broke the trust issues? Because you were hoping that you two would be on the same page not to be in the situation you're in today? 'Cause I'm not getting a clear answer of what broke the trust issues. What broke the trust issues?

It was—

The past and how we met.

No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm trying to find, I know how to say, I know, I know what did. I'm just not trying to make somebody look bad.

Say it.

So it'd be times where, mind you, we were not living with each other. Like I said, I was living with my dad. So it would be times where she would get kicked out her mama house on purpose. She would call me. My cousin told me, if you tell her she can't go there and she kicked out, You don't think she gonna call somebody else? I'm like, nah, 'cause I ain't like that, I ain't like that, I ain't like that. Every time she do come, it's always a dude dropping her off at my spot. Like, tell her to stop coming over here.

So that was true from your perspective, when you were getting kicked outta the house, you were staying with other guys?

No, you saying that I got dropped off by guys, but again.

Okay, like, be real.

Okay, but he just asked, did I stay with other guys and I said no.

Deanna, so where was she staying the rest of the time?

So because she got dropped off by other guys, you decided that there must be something going on? Did you ask her directly if something was going on?

I didn't. It wasn't supposed to be what it was.

When she got pregnant and you found out you would become a father, what happened then?

Like, that's where I fucked up at. 'Cause how we met and how things was going, okay, like we was struggling, we was doing all that. Like I said though, I was good.

So you said you matured when you became a mother.

Yes.

What ways do you feel like you matured?

I matured, again, like I said before, my naive ways. I matured in realizing life is too short and there's no reason to be arguing when you can simply communicate. But again, I have to work on my communication as well. But it doesn't work when it's just like, I feel like it's just not two of us trying to work. It's like we're going against each other when it can be so much easier.

Jamari, do you think you've matured?

I can't mature.

Why can't you?

'Cause I'm stuck in a relationship.

So you think because of the relationship you're not able to have growth and do what you wanna do?

No, no, no. Why? 'Cause every time I do something, like when I try to communicate, it make me feel like I'm just getting nowhere. But it's like, I want this bad because I got kids, you know what I'm saying? So, and it's like—

You want what bad, the relationship?

Nah, you can say that, man. You can say that.

Do you wanna be in this relationship?

I don't know.

When he says he doesn't know if he wants to be in this relationship, how does it make you feel? Be real.

Hurt.

This is what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna go ahead and lock the phone, but I can tell y'all before I even unlock this phone that unlocking this phone is not gonna fix this relationship.

It's not gonna fix it.

I don't care. So what gets you unlocking his phone?

'Cause she wants it. You told me to come see you. You just tried me.

Deonna, we unlocked your phone, okay?

That don't mean nothing.

Jamari, you wanna know if Deonna has been texting with other men. She says she's not. My unlock the phone investigator searched her phone and found she's telling the truth. You wanna know if Deonna has been DMing any other men. She says she's not. My unlock the phone investigator searched her DMs. And she is telling the truth. You wanna know if Deonna has any inappropriate photos in her phone. She says she does not.

I never wanted to know that.

Monlock, the investigator, searched her photos and found that she is telling the truth. So we searched her phone and there's nothing in her phone. She's not been doing anything. I think it's clear to all of us. Now what I'll tell you is there's two things that's going on here and I can see it within the first minute. Jamari, you are very angry about a choice you made.

I'm not angry.

No, no, no, no, no. You gotta hear me out. You gotta hear me out. So let me tell you, Jamari, Jamari, I have given you the opportunity this entire time as you bombarded the stage, as you've talked over, you've even tried to silence my audience. And I've given you the entire time and respect to speak. You right. That is right. So what I'm gonna ask you to do is give me the chance to speak. You right. What I have noticed from you, What I've noticed from you is that you said immediately that where I went wrong was the minute that I got into a deeper relationship with her. Those were your words. The minute I went wrong. You said before we got into something, I was happy with my father.

No, I was not. That's where you're wrong at again. I said we was getting into it, my father. That's what I'm saying. You're not really listening to me.

You, you, you.

Jamar, Jamar, calm down. I should never came on stage like that. It's my fault. I never did that. But that hurt me when she said I didn't want my kids. I care about my kids deeply.

So the anger you have in you is understandable. You are a young man with two kids. It sounds like you had some issues at home and you're probably feeling like you're drowning.

Yes, that's the only, that's the finally you got something right.

Finally. I've gotten a lot right. But what I wanna tell you though is that though you are angry, doesn't give you the right in this moment or any other moment in your life to spit that anger towards others. Because what I'm gonna tell you— That's all I'm gonna get, you right. Because what I'm telling you is that more people would love to help you. I'm gonna tell you, this show is actually a place where I come to help people. That is the only reason I want the show, to be able to get people a first step on how to be better. It's not to air out just your dirty laundry or for you to come up here and talk your business. It's about to say, what can I do for young men like you who are angry to say, how can you be better? But because you're defensive and you've admitted it, you're not allowing people in. No. So we do know one thing, first of all, is that this relationship needs to end. We'll start there. You two need to learn how to co-parent, but unfortunately you both need to end this. Deanna, look at me. I know that you had a relationship with this young man and that y'all were sweethearts in high school, but this relationship has been fractured from the beginning. But I will tell you this, if you can break up and stay broken up and start working on yourselves and find yourselves, it will be the first step you'll have in actually getting the lives that you both desire. And I'll tell you one more thing, the hurt you're feeling, and the anger you're feeling, it starts with grieving the life that you both thought you should have had. I'm gonna ask you both, would you like therapy in your young ages to start speaking to somebody who can help you to figure out what you're feeling and to help you take those next steps?

Can I say something?

I just wanna answer that first. Would you like therapy?

No, 'cause it's not like, like, okay, can I say something?

Deonna, would you like therapy? You would like therapy. Deonna, that was a smart move. And Jamari, what I'm gonna do is after you walk backstage, if you change your mind and you say to yourself, you know what, actually I want to take him up on that offer, that offer stands.

I'm not saying no, but it's like y'all just skipped past how I feel. Y'all just went straight to how she felt. Y'all didn't even say nothing about me.

Jamari, we've all heard how you felt.

Okay, well please.

You've actually dominated this conversation. You've actually dominated this entire thing. When you watch this back, So you're in a place in your life because of the fact that no one's heard you. You do a lot of this, ah, no one gets me, no one understands me. I did get me. No one hears me. But everyone has been listening to you. We've all seen you and I've acknowledged your pain. And what I did to acknowledge your pain is offer you. So what I'm gonna tell you, on top of you grieving the life you had, you gotta stop saying to yourself, no one around me sees me, no one wants to help me. Because the more you keep doing that, the more you're gonna keep yourself in a victimhood that's gonna keep you down. Now that's a responsibility you have to take. Honestly, that's a responsibility you have to take. I'm offering you that first step because that is the first step to talk to somebody who's going to listen.

Somebody, I'm supposed to be talking to you, right? You don't even understand me.

You know what, so this is the thing.

And it's funny, that's the problem.

I want you to hear this one thing. I want you to hear this one thing. Do I have 10 sessions to give to you to really talk to you? If I did, it would, work, but we don't. So that's why, what have I done? I've offered you someone who can give you those 10 sessions, who can talk to you and can listen to you. I understand my place here. My place is to give you a first step. Your place is to take that first step and then grow through your life, okay? So I thank you both for being here. I'm sorry for what you've been going through. And I hope that this first step helps both of you to start healing.

You made it worse.

Well—

You made it worse.

I really do hope that you take that first step honestly, because I do see a brighter future for you. But that step starts with you, not with me. This is not what it is. You can have a healthy relationship. When you think of a partner, what do you think? Somebody saying I love you. Somebody who doesn't argue with you. Yeah, that's out there. I had my first child at 16. You can find love and success and happiness. This is not where it ends, but you have to make the choice. He's not ready. Are you ready? Give me a hug. Good luck, okay?