We've Broken Up 10 Times, Should We Stay Together? | KARAMO

I hate reading stuff like that. So when you were pregnant, he cheated on you?

Yes, he did.

Tell me what was going on.

It was just like, I was just going through a lot and I was kind of, you know, when you pregnant, you have all these emotions. So I wasn't showing as much affection to him. So it was just, he was just going out, just doing whatever he wanted to do.

But just because you're going through something, I think that's where men and partners need to understand, that's where the empathy comes in. That's where it's like, Let me show up for you more. Yeah. Not retreat.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah. Tell me please about the cheating that happened while you were on vacation.

Yeah, so me and my family were outta town about 3 hours away and you know, we planned it out months in advance. So he knew I was gonna be gone for that weekend. So when he was at my place that I let him move into, he wasn't responding while I was on vacation that weekend. I was like, maybe he's busy. And then when I finally came back home from the vacation, I realized that the ultrasound pictures that I had on my entertainment center was face down. Our family pictures that I had, like a wall with our family pictures on it, they were like shifted a little bit, like they'd been moved. I realized we have a camera system inside the house. I realized they were turned off certain points and I don't know what made me check it, but I did. Something told me in my head. So I went in our trash can And I dig through it and he thought he was clever. So I found this like a Kroger's bag under some trash in the trash can and I opened it. It was a used condom. It was one of those products that you put into a drink that makes you more aroused. And then I seen a wrapper for fishnets and I know damn well day, it wasn't for him. It was for somebody.

Somebody else, yes.

So when I seen all that, I just knew. And I asked him multiple times, like, I'm not stupid, like I know you had somebody over. Tried to make an excuse and say that one of his homeboys came over while I was gone and his girl. So yeah, I'm not stupid.

Did he ever confess or did he stick to that story?

It took a long time. I think I kind of beat him up about it over and over. Like, I'm like, just please just tell me the truth. Just 'cause I know, you know? And he was like, yes, I did have a girl over and we did try to, but we wasn't able to have sex because I was just thinking about you the whole time.

I mean, what did that do to you mentally and emotionally?

It really like crushed me because like my whole time, like since the day I met him, I honestly have not tried to have sex with another guy. I've not do anything sexual. Now with my job, I do have to talk to men to come see me at my job.

Are you a dancer?

Yes.

Okay, got it.

So they could tip me. But other than that, I don't have any type of interactions sexual with no other guy. So for him to just like go straight to that and do it behind my back in a house that I let you come into, it's really—

It's a layer for you, I understand.

Lately he's been going through my phone at least 4 days a week that I notice.

Oh wow.

Yeah. And—

4 days a week to go through your phone?

Yes. And what I do every night—

I don't even unlock phones 4 days a week on this show.

Yeah.

Right.

That's like, that's wild to me.

That's a lot.

Yeah.

That's a bit excessive.

Yeah, it is. And it's increased over time. It wasn't like that first, even when I was pregnant, maybe like once, once a month or once a few weeks, but now it was just like increasing.

[Speaker:KARAMO] Hold on, so while you were pregnant and you were at home not going anywhere.

[Speaker] Right.

[Speaker:KARAMO] He was going through your phone. What did he think was going on?

[Speaker] He's out there doing it and he wanna see if I'm doing it, so.

[Speaker:KARAMO] Got it. You understood that when you met her, you understood her job, you understood where she worked, she was honest in telling you, you have a relationship that's growing, you're changing yourself, she's being honest with you, Why cheat?

Why cheat? Very good question. I mean, when I found out that this man that you've been talking to for months used to be your ex-boyfriend, I thought this dude was the gay dude. Like, I mean, you talk to him more than you talk to me. FaceTime, whatever. And then, you know, that's when I started feeling like, What's going on? And then I started going through the phone, but you still talking to like 4 or 5 different guys that you used to fuck. So I'm sorry.

So were you, I gotta ask you, Erica, were you talking to men?

It wasn't like I initiated the text and they would text me. They'd be like, how are you? 'Cause they have me on Instagram or Facebook and they'd be like, oh, how are you and the baby? It'd be conversations like that. It wouldn't be like, oh, I miss you. When we gonna hang out? Really like that. It was more so like, how you been?

Can I say something please?

Yeah, of course.

Okay, so just a month and a half ago, one of your ex on Instagram, you said, I miss how you used to. You tell this guy I'm a deadbeat father. I'm a deadbeat father.

First of all, first of all, we were on a break.

Okay, so you're on a break for not longer than 5 days.

We was on a break. It was nothing like that. But did I go see him? Did we hang out?

I do not know. I don't know.

So you're admitting that you did break up with her at that time, but you came back?

Yes.

Okay.

But it have happened like, this has happened like 10 times. She knows it. It have happened like over 10 times. I break out with her, 2 days later, baby, just please, let's try it again, but let's do things different.

Okay. Got it. And so what happened when you proposed to her last week?

When I tried to propose, you know, she was like, "Oh no, no, no." Like, "I'll take a promise ring." But it's so much behind that though.

Like, I just keep remembering the past.

One question. Why before when I met you, when I was able to give you $3,000 any day of the week or $5,000, no problem. Everything used to be so different. You used to be, "I love her," me, "I love you," this, you know?

But you cheated. That's the moment when it changed.

You cheated. Because you changed.

You think your financial situation is the reason why she feels differently about you?

Yes, I mean, it being over a year, that means Erica right here has—

No, it's not that. It's just the times where you were out, like a woman remembers how she felt when she was pregnant and she was cheated on. That's what I, the emotions that I felt when I was pregnant and you was cheating on me, it's really hard for me to like move past that. And we talk about this all the time and he's like, oh, move on, move on. It's not that easy to move on.

Well, listen, I think it's time to unlock the phones to get to the facts of this. Joel, I think it's time we unlock your phone first.

No problem.

Okay then. You want to know if he was talking to any women on apps, if he was receiving any explicit photos or videos, and if he has been texting any other women, correct? Are you worried about anything being found in your phone?

No.

Yeah.

Sir.

It took a little too long to answer that, but okay.

You're not worried?

I was okay with, I agreed to the phone thing. I'm okay with it.

Okay then, great. All right, well listen, let's get to it. Erica, you want to know if Joel has any dating apps on his phone. Joel says he does not. My Unlock the Phone investigators searched his apps and found that Joel is not telling the truth. He has Tinder and 3F and is speaking with 2 women on those apps.

Joel.

I trusted you, I tried to trust you, Joel.

You trusted me?

Yes. And he tried to, like I said, when they're doing it themselves, they do it.

Okay. Erica, you want to know if Joel has received any explicit photos from women. Joel says he has not. My unlock the phone investigator searched his photos and found that Joel is not telling the truth. We found two suspicious videos on his phone. One was of him receiving oral sex in December and the other video was him inviting women to his hotel room.

Why would you?

Can I say?

Why would you do that to me? And you said you haven't done anything except things that I didn't know about. I didn't know about that.

You wanna know why?

It don't.

You know how a man feel when it been over a year, last time you fucked the way you used to, you just lay in the bed. You just lay there. You don't move. Before when it was money and all that, I'm the one that used to tell you, stop, please stop, stop, stop. Like, we had enough. Now you just, come on. How insecure I feel?

My feelings has changed so much. You don't realize that, like with the baby, with the emotions, the hormones, and that's when it really changed when like, when my hormones was like all over the place and I wasn't like more into it because my hormones, that's when he's like, "Oh girls, when they're pregnant, they usually want it more." But I was the opposite, he did not understand that.

How old is our daughter?

9 months.

Okay, what happened after that? You're still the same, right?

No, it's not the same.

I mean, you're still the same. No, it's not the same. I know, look, I'm wrong. I should never—

Well, hold on, we're gonna keep unlocking the phone. So, my unlock the phone, you also wanted to know about texts. My unlock the phone investigator searched his texts and found that Joel is not telling the truth. We found 55 text messages between Joel and 6 other women, all flirtatious and sexual in nature, including compliments, asking for sexy photos, and asking for dates.

And these were probably recently.

I mean, I'm just saying, like, I'm wrong. You know what, I should not slow my— go that low and do what you do, but how can you blame me? How can you blame me when you keep talking to these guys, when you're ex?

Since the day I met you, Joel, I have never told a guy I wanted to see them. And what I do for work, like I see guys at work. I never try and meet them outside of work.

But it's okay for you to miss, I mean, I don't know if you have met them or not, but what you think I'm gonna think? That you is doing it. What am I gonna think? You just talk about it.

I'm watching, looking at all these, and this is a lot of you engaging and requesting you're requesting a lot of this. And this is December. This is you saying, come see me, let's do this. You ask him to check in on you. This is not just a random hookup. You know, this one, hola, soy Joel de Tinder. You're saying this is Joel from Tinder. Like, so you're like hitting them up.

So you're getting their number.

You're hitting them up on different apps.

Okay, 6 women.

No?

Yes.

Okay.

I'm just supposed to just sit there and let Erica just, I mean, just suffer, right? Just, I mean, you doing things that made me think that you doing it, so that's why I'm over here.

So you actually do it though, but you actually—

So I have a sense because Joel, you wanted us to unlock Erica's phone as well. And what I'm realizing right now, and this is what I know in games of manipulation, and so I'm gonna use you as a teaching lesson for anybody out there. When you have somebody who is actively engaging in cheating on you, in doing things behind your back, there is a manipulation tactic to say, well, I'm going to say you're doing it as well. It's the easiest way to deflect from ourselves. So I understand now that you unlocking her phone is just a tit-for-tat mechanism. It's just for you to be justified. Exactly.

And I say that every time.

And I don't know what's in here, but I'm almost, I would bet, I would bet that there's nothing on this because of hearing how you've been in your emotional state, the things that you're going through, hearing the transparency, hearing that you go through her phone 4 days a week, you have hired something. There's nothing in this phone that could be found. So yeah, so we're unlocking your phone. Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing.

I told you, I told you.

Not a thing found in her GPS, not a thing found in her apps, not a thing found in her text messages.

She had not downloaded no dating apps or something?

Nothing.

Nothing.

There's nothing found on her phone?

Nothing.

I know that we normally make those a little bit more dramatic here, but for me, this is a state where what I'm seeing here is you're accusing her because you have yet decided that you actually want to actually be the man you're saying you want to be. You're telling her you do, but you're actually not doing that. And I understand that growth is uncomfortable, But you're making her more uncomfortable by not being honest. If you don't want to grow and you don't want to have this life, that's one thing. But stop telling her this.

I never, I respect you so much. I only speak good about you. You know that.

But my thing is, let me ask you a question.

Let me ask you a question. So, but what about her ex? A month ago, why is she telling this guy this?

Well, I'm tracking timelines and during that timeline you've said outta your own mouth, that we broke up 10 times where I've broken up with her. And what the problem is, every time you've broken up with her, you have expectations that she's supposed to react or act a certain way based on what you have in your mind. But if you say to some woman, I'm breaking up with you, she has full right and authority to text and do whatever she wants. Unlike you, you were in a relationship and doing these things. You were in a committed relationship. You didn't have a break and you were texting seeing these women, 'cause I just looked at the text messages now. So there's a difference there. You broke up with her and then expected her to stay faithful. That's not fair. So are you ready to break up?

Yeah, I'm really, I'm ready to co-parent. We talked about it, but—

You tell him.

Yeah, I think it's best if we co-parent with our daughter because now that I've heard all of that, after you done lied and said you haven't talked to no woman, no dating apps, All that I think is best for us just to separate and just be a co-parent.

Boom, there you go.

The cheating is, the cheating is just too much. 6 women?

6.

That's a lot.

6, 6.

And like I've caught him cheating, like when going through phones and seen that he met a couple girls, but that was like a long time ago. That was like 3 girls. But I'm sure a lot of that was recent.

So yeah, it was recent. It was also deleted. That was one of the things that we do on this show. We find things that are deleted.

Wow. You talk about me deleting stuff.

Yeah. So, so that's important. I'm glad you got your truth. Good luck with everything. All right. Thank you so much. All right everyone, stay with us friends. We'll be right back with more.