Which One Of You Is My Dad? | KARAMO

I called the show because I'm 36. I've been having a mystery. Who's my father? I had two, but I really wanna know what's my background, who I belong to. Robert been in my life for the whole 36 years. I met Evan at 21, but 15, 18, a couple people approached me and was like, oh, you know, Evan could be your dad. And I'm just like, okay, if he is, why couldn't he approach me?

So at 21, Evan came up to you and said—

No, at 21 he had his sisters. I don't know if him, or well, his sisters came up to my aunt's house.

Yeah.

And they came and looked, they was like, "Oh, you look like my brother. You're my niece." And I'm just like, "Okay." 2 weeks later, I then meet Evan.

So back me up, 'cause I know how Evan came in the picture. Robert was with you, you said, growing up. All 36 years. And what was it like growing up with him?

When I was 3 years old, he got incarcerated for 25 years. But he didn't go without. I visit anybody he communicated with, picked me up, they gave gifts. So he was very involved. I seen him all the way up to 25.

So even though he was incarcerated, he's still active in your life. Yes. So what did your mom say about all this?

Girl, you got 2 daddies.

What?

Yeah.

And it was just more like at the beginning I'm like, okay, cool. Yeah, I got 2 daddies. Okay, let's work it out. I had 1 child at the time.

Yeah.

It was cool, but once I had my second child, it was just like, hold on, now I really have to figure out because she's too, she won't be calling both grandpa like the 14-year-old will.

Of course, of course. That's interesting that your mother was just like, you got two dads instead of saying, no, this one's lying, this one is not.

And I understand she had my sister at 15, me at 18, my brother at 21. So she was still living her life. So to get help from both, you know, it was okay for her.

No, I get it now. 'Cause now that you give me perspective of the ages, that makes sense. For her, she's like, I'm getting all the support. But for you, this is confusing because where do I come from?

Yeah, it got confusing when I met Evan.

Of course. Describe your relationship with Robert growing up now. You said that he was around through the messages, gifts, all of that.

All of that. You know, Christmas, you get to go pick up gifts and stuff. And it's just when he got out, it kind of got bumpy.

Why did it get bumpy when he got out?

Our first incident. I'm your child, he has brothers and I was raised, you know, I grew up with them. And one incident, I'm married to a woman. And so I guess his approach to me was like, "Oh, do you think this woman look good?" And so I text him, I'm like, "Hey, I'm your daughter. I'm not your homeboy." I'm not your homeboy. I don't want that type of bond. I don't want that type of relationship. And I think that kind of pushed him away 'cause we kind of got into it. I'm like, "Well, you ain't my daddy." He's like, "Well, you ain't my daughter." So we had that. Yeah, it hit there. And then eventually I had to calm down because it's me. Nobody know how I feel inside. I'm hurt. They okay. They think, "Oh, you got two of everything." No, because you show up and the other one gives money.

Yeah.

I can spend time with Robert and Evan gives. And it's just like, it's just confusing to me. It's just like, it was just too much. And like I said, I have two girls too.

Yeah. So since that conversation with Robert, has he like been able to understand your boundary?

Yes.

He has. So it's got a little bit better.

Yeah, my baby, she was 7 when he got out.

Yeah.

And so our time, it's been good, but it's some other things.

That are still on. Still there, okay. Did you have any idea about Evan when you were younger?

Like around, I was like 15, one of my little cousins was like, "Girl, I seen this man, he had this nice car and he looked like, you know, he said he was your daddy." And I'm just like, "No, you don't know." Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. "That ain't my daddy." And she was like, "But you look like him." And I'm just like, "Okay, pass." I remember I got my apartment when I was 18. One of his daughters came to me and she was like, we was brought up in the same neighborhood. So she was like, "Tiara, you know my daddy your daddy?" And I'm just like, "If he was, I heard about it. If he was." Why not come and approach me?

Of course, of course.

And then so I still let it be.

I don't think people understand the mental effects and emotional effects of putting that on a child. And you're, of course, you hearing your story, you processed the best you could. You're like, okay, let me try to wash this off. Let me try to say no, I don't know about that. Let me try to accept him. But like that's a toll on you.

It is.

Yeah.

It is.

I'm sorry that you had to deal with that, honestly. Are you keeping a distance from Robert and Evan right now?

Yes, and it's not there. And only say because I wanna know who my daddy is. Like Robert, he ended up having to get surgery, almost passed away. And it was like, do I drive 3 hours to go see him even though I was, you know, brought up or do I stay here? And that was hard for me.

Yeah.

And when something happened to him, it's like, do I go to his care? It's like, and that's when I came to my decision. Like I wanna know who my daddy is so I can put more into— 'Cause I didn't cuss both of 'em out. I didn't told 'em how I felt. So our bond is really like down the drain. Yeah. And I came to the show so I can get a better bond.

Can I tell you, I'm glad. Yeah. So I know you said the bond is going down, but who exactly do you call dad now?

Robert.

Robert. Okay, so Robert's still dad. So can I ask you this honestly? Who do you want to be your father?

Robert.

Robert. Robert. And I think this is because more of the emotional connection.

Yes, 'cause that's all I knew growing up.

Do you blame your mom at all for creating this confusion? Oh yeah. Uh-huh.

Yes.

Yeah. And what did she say?

So, okay, look, so I say, "Mama, I'm going to the show." She was like, "Why are you doing that in public? Why you can't do it private?" Well, tell me something. Tell me something that I don't know. Tell me something, you know, before I go out here because we could've sat and did this at home.

When I told you the first time, you could've said, "No, this is not your father, this is," and we would've ended it right there.

And I asked both of them for DNA. They both said yes, but it was just, I think they both don't wanna know either.

Yes, of course.

And they both wanna be dad, but that it's about me really and about my kids.

I hear you.

So what happens if the results today don't turn out that Robert is your father, if it is Evan? Will you be able to try to build that emotional bond?

I'm gonna build with Evan, but Robert ain't going nowhere.

Got it, okay.

He ain't going nowhere.

Got it, okay then. Well, I think it's time to hear from one of your potential fathers. So everyone, please welcome Evan to the show. Evan, how you doing, sir? Good, how are you? Nice to meet you.

Yes, sir.

So tell me, from your opinion, when did you first find out about Tiara?

I found out about Tiara when I was incarcerated and I got out the penitentiary and I found out about her when she was 21. Yeah. Some family members, my sister told me that, you know, I may have a potential daughter. She looks similar to my other daughter.

No, you knew before then because your kids came up to me, other people came up to me. So 21 was not when you found out.

But I didn't really know for sure until I did the DNA test.

But you asked my mama plenty of times because my mom had always said that you approached her about me and you said that I was yours. Even your sister came to my auntie house when I was like 2 months and was like, "That's my brother baby." So it ain't like you didn't know, you knew.

I didn't know for sure.

Got it.

I knew, know what I'm saying, that like I was saying to Tiarra, 'cause she didn't give me no—

And if you didn't know for sure, why put your all into me when I was 21 with my first child when you could've stayed away?

Because at that time, I mean, I did want you to be my daughter. It's not like I don't want you to be my daughter. I just wasn't too sure and I lost the relation. I wasn't speaking to her mom. Me and her mom, it was pretty much a—

What type of relationship did you have with her mother?

It was a one-night stand.

One-night stand, okay. Do you know Robert?

I know of Robert.

You know of Robert.

I know of Robert.

So when y'all were younger and y'all were messing around, did you know that her mother was dating him or talking to him or?

Yes.

Yes. You did, okay, okay, okay. So what are you hoping the results will say today?

I'm hoping Tierra is mine. I'm hoping she is my daughter.

Yeah.

If not, I hope it don't change our relationship. You know what I mean? I still wanna be involved in her and her daughter's life, you know?

Would you allow that if it shows that he's not your father?

He ain't involved now. I make my own money.

Okay.

Just as much money he was giving then, I make it now.

Got it.

So money don't make or break me and my kids.

Got it. So because there's no emotional attachment, you feel like the relationship is dead?

I mean, if he is my father, then I could see myself building on, you know, building, visiting every day, bringing the kids over. But if not, it's just like we're gonna stand where we at because my mouth too fly.

Got it, okay. Well everyone, there's one other man that's involved in this story. His name is Robert. So I think it's time to meet your other potential father. Everyone please welcome Robert to the show. How you doing? This is a fly sweater you got on.

I was trying to outdo you.

Appreciate it. So is this your first time ever meeting Evan?

Yes.

Yeah.

Evan had pulled up in my neighborhood one time in a car that I wasn't familiar with. So when I went to investigate, I seen Tracy was in the car with him and stuff. You know, I wasn't doing no tripping that she was messing with him and stuff, 'cause you know, I was doing my thing, she was doing her thing. I was King Ho, so it was just part of it.

So you just knew, yeah, okay, as he said. So you were in jail when Tierra was growing up?

Yes, for 25 years. Tierra's mother used to bring her down there to see me in the jailhouse and stuff. And once I got moved to the prison and stuff, she couldn't come down there no more. She wasn't comfortable with seeing me behind the glass and stuff.

That makes sense. So are you on Tierra's birth certificate?

No, the reason why I didn't get on the birth certificate, like I said, I was King Ho. I don't know who else my mama was messing with and stuff, and I didn't want to sign my name on there.

Yeah, just in case.

It's not like an investment I could get my money back from that and stuff, so I didn't sign it, not knowing who told me.

'Cause how old were you at the time?

21.

You were 21?

Yes.

Okay, so y'all were young, young, young. So I'm getting a ping right now, and it's from, Tiara's mother, Tracy. Let's take a listen.

Hey, Karamo. I'm Tracy. I'm Tiara's mom. And I have always told Tiara she's special. She have two dads. I have nothing to hide because when I was younger, I was wild. And I didn't know no better. Robert cheated on me. And I hooked up with Evan only once. And because of that, I'm not sure who your father is. I have told Tiara to stop letting outsiders put things in her head. Baby, you special. You have two daddies.

The interesting part is I don't think she understands that that doesn't have the effect that she thinks it has, saying that you have two dads.

And she does because we don't have a good bond 'cause it, right now.

'Cause it, yeah.

Yeah, and for her to say that right now, still after, you know, we coming off, like you think it's a joke. It's not a joke when it comes to me. And what I'm gonna do with two daddies?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

'Cause one provide, love you, One loving and care and one provide money. And if I can get both from one, I'll be okay.

So Tiara, has your mother ever said there's a possibility of any other guys?

One other guy.

One other guy. Yes. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Did you both know that, that there was possibly one other man?

No.

I knew a little bit about it.

You knew a little bit?

You know, it was only 'cause—

She never told you about fucking?

I spoke to Tiara.

Yeah. What is it, now that you're hearing that, what does it make you feel like hearing that? That there could be a third gentleman?

I'm confused.

Yeah.

Don't be confused, don't be confused.

No, no, 'cause I thought Evans was.

Uh-uh. So this is Evans.

This is Evans.

And this is the third.

Yes.

Named.

Is the one who I seen her in the car with.

Oh, okay.

I didn't know about Evans.

Okay, got it.

Yeah.

So you weren't aware about Evans, you were aware about the.

Yes. Okay then.

Okay, this makes sense to me. It is, and take this for a grain of salt, it is nice to see two men up here who are saying that they wanna be your father. 'Cause I've had many moments where you see people saying, "I don't want it." And to see two amazing Black men sitting in front of their beautiful Black daughter saying, "I would love to be their father." Though I wish you would've had your answers as a child. I wish you had that. I'm also glad to see to see that this is not the opposite where we're running people down saying, please take it, please do this.

Yeah, 'cause it would've went another way. All the attitude had, I mean, you know, every, I don't know. It could've went a whole 'nother way.

But I think you've waited long enough. I think it's time to get to the DNA truth. So Tiara, here's the first envelope. This is your truth to open, not mine. So I'm not sure what those results say.

I'mma be honest. I want Robert to be my dad. I really, 'cause the bond we have, and I want a better bond.

Amen.

And a better relationship. And I don't even talk no more, I just wanna get it.

Okay.

Get to it. Okay.

What does that first one say?

That's Evan.

What does it say? No, it says Evan is not—

It's not like that, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I came for what I came for and it's not. It say Evan and it says not.

Evan is not your biological father, okay.

No.

So Evan, how do you feel?

Shocked a little bit.

Yeah.

Shocked, I mean, but you know. I still want Tara to find out, you know what I'm saying? Just so she can know.

Yeah. I'll say this to you before we move on. Though you did not have the full emotional bond, there's still gonna be a period of grieving and you deserve that period of time because at the end of the day, you were still a young man that was lied to and were involved in a situation. If her mother would've just said, "Hey, you're not the father," you would've never been providing financially and you would've never had to deal with any confusion from family. And so I say to you, I'm sorry because you didn't deserve that either. But do know that I'm sure the things that you did provide did help her in moments that she needed it.

Yeah.

And so, so there was a purpose to you being around and we are thankful for that.

Thank you.

Thank you. Okay, Tiara, here is your second result. This is your truth to open, not mine. So here you go. What does it say?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

I promise. I love you too.

I like how you did the little quick peek. I was gonna walk out. I was gonna walk out and be like, "Just stand there." So how do you feel right now knowing you are the father?

I'm thankful that the Lord blessed me with a child.

Yeah.

'Cause if it wasn't her, I'd be childless.

Yeah.

And I'm thankful for that.

So your daughter's asking for more of a bond. Are you willing to commit to giving her what she needs?

As long as she can control her mouth.

I am now. I am now. I promise.

Yeah. I think it's time for y'all to figure out a way also, now that you know you are father and daughter, to say what boundary do we set to make sure I don't feel disrespected, but also I feel heard.

Yeah.

Well, Tiara, your mother was right about one thing. You are special and you didn't need to be put in this situation, but I'm so glad that you allowed me to be here to support you and get those answers.

Thank you.

And I'm happy that you found each other and I'm happy that you to have your closure as well. I'm happy that all of y'all have your closure.

I'mma still be cool with you.

Listen, I wish y'all all the best of luck. All right, stay with us, friends. We'll be right back with more.