Why Are You At Church Until 7AM?! | KARAMO

Okay, so what was this message that you found in his phone? I need exactly what it said.

It actually said, "Drunk trying to fuck." Yeah.

Do you believe he actually slept with her?

Oh, well, they had history before we got together.

Got it.

So I just need to know while we were together.

If they did it.

Yes, last month.

Last month?

Yes.

And how exactly did you find that text?

Well, I had woke up and grabbed the phone and it was already on the messages. So I'm like reading it and I'm like, hold on.

So you didn't have to really go searching. It's like you woke up and it was presented right to you.

It was already there. So I showed him, I'm like, are you cheating on me? What is this? So he wouldn't tell me, so I actually called her. So I'm like, what y'all had going on? She talking about, "Oh, ask him." So once I had got off the phone with her, I was like, "You gotta go." Yeah, okay.

Like, uh-uh. So you kicked him out right then and there? Yes. All right. And how long did he stay out when you kicked him out?

Probably like 12 hours.

12 hours, okay. So you let him back in, but you still had no answers?

Yes.

Okay, then why did you let him back in even though you just saw a message that said, "Drunk," Yeah.

So it was the day before Christmas Eve. And so we had a small conversation and I had told him I want him to come back and help me so that we both can be here for the kids when they open their presents.

Okay then. That makes a little bit more sense why on Christmas Eve you have—

Yeah.

Oh, adorable. I get it. You have the child.

Yeah.

And how long have you two been together?

2 years.

2 years. Okay then. And you've been engaged for how long?

About 4 months.

4 months, okay. And how's the trust been between you before this?

Well, it's been very hard. When we first got together, he'll stay out late. It just got to the point where it was getting longer and longer each time.

And what is he doing?

So it'd be like 12 one time, 2, then it started being 6, 7. And I just was like—

In the morning?

In the morning.

Okay, listen, everybody know don't nothing happen after the sun's starting to come up unless you doing something. And what did he say that he was doing during those hours?

Just after church, they'll just hang out. And I just was like—

After church, we hanging out till 7:00 AM? Y'all let me know what Sunday school after program is that then.

Right.

Okay, 7:00 AM, okay. After church, okay. So how did you two meet again?

Oh well, we knew each other since school.

Okay.

Yeah.

And what do you consider cheating? I need to know. Is it sexting? Is it?

It's emotional, all of that. Yes.

Okay. I just wanna understand, is it porn?

No.

Porn's not cheating for you? Okay then. Well, I think it's time to meet your fiancé, Jaheim, and hear his side of the story. Yes. So Jaheim, welcome to the show. Hey Jaheim, how you doing?

What's up, man?

You good? Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you too. Yeah.

Be honest, man. That's all, that's not like true.

Okay, what's not true?

Like, I feel like when it come down to it, man, like it's a lot of stuff been going on between both of us.

Oh.

So 3 things I've been cut off from was cleaning, you know what I'm saying? Cooking, stuff like that. You know what I'm saying? So don't just come make it like it's all me when you ain't did your part either. You feel what I'm saying?

Like— So you feel like the intimacy in your relationship is suffering?

Yes.

You feel like there's not an even distribution of the chores?

Yes.

Yes. Okay then, you're laughing, why?

I'm sorry.

Has intimacy been cut off from your perspective?

Yes.

It has been. And how long has it been cut off?

It's been on and off after we had our child together.

Got it, okay then. Is that because you're suffering from postpartum or any of that?

I thought it was that, but I'm feeling like it's the infidelity.

The infidelity?

Yes.

Okay then. So since you've had the child, 'cause how old is your child now?

He's 1.

1 years old, yeah, okay then. When she said this other woman wanted to have sex with you, did you respond?

Yes.

You did?

I did.

Yes.

Okay, and why did you respond?

Because I felt like when it came down to it, you felt some type of way against me anyway. So I felt like when you told me that you didn't wanna have sex, okay, you know, all of a sudden now you mad or whatever.

Why not leave?

I didn't wanna leave. It never happened.

But you can't make me believe that.

Okay.

Is she someone you were previously seeing?

Yes.

Okay then, do you still have feelings for her?

No.

Okay then, no feelings at all?

No.

Do you still have sexual attraction to her?

Not really, it was just something, you know.

Okay. You can be honest. Yeah. You have some sexual attraction.

Yeah.

Okay. Yes. Why was she so comfortable to ask you that then?

If it ain't been going on this whole time.

I felt like she'd been comfortable because, you know, like I said, we had history or whatever and we used to. I felt like that's just what she wanted. Who else she gonna, you know, besides me? That's the only person she know was me.

Okay.

So I felt like she came to talk me or she felt that she wanted me, so.

So what about the Facebook post that she made?

What about?

She made a Facebook post?

Yeah, she was making Facebook posts about me. Oh, I miss Jay, or I miss JB, or I need to see JB again, or I can't wait to see JB come around, stuff like that.

Well, I'll say you can't control her behavior in that. If she was doing that, you can't control what she posts. But is there anything that you were doing to encourage those posts?

No, not really.

Okay. Are there other things that you're upset about in this relationship? 'Cause I know you said that the cleanliness is another one. So you feel like there's no even share of chores?

I feel like when it comes down to it, yes, I have a problem with that because I understand, you know, you got your job, you do hair, you know what I'm saying? That's fine. But you get done doing hair, you just go get into bed. You ain't did a whole lot of anything.

But if I'm the only one working, then—

I understand that.

Are you not working?

The only reason, I just recently lost my job.

Okay. All right?

So I recently lost my job a little minute ago because of some things or whatever.

So then if you have a 1-year-old and your wife is telling you, I'm the only one supporting the household, why would you not pick up the slack?

The thing is, she wasn't the only one. I was still playing, I play music in the church. So I was actually, you know, playing, making money here and there just to provide, just to do this, just to pick up the slack.

But that was only one day.

Okay.

So when it come down to it, when it come down to it, man, like I felt like everything was on me. I didn't have a problem with cleaning the house, you know what I'm saying? Wiping down, washing dishes. But at the same time, you ain't did but one head today. Why you go get in the shower, get in the bed like you just been busy all day? You don't wanna clean up the hair on the floor? You don't wanna sweep the floor, pick up your mess?

While I'm doing hair, taking care of the kids. While I'm doing hair.

Okay, all right, all right. Okay. All right. So you said you played for the church?

Yes.

So tell me about these 7:00 AM after church services.

So actually they wasn't after church. Okay. Like Sundays, me and my boys, we'll go out sometimes and, or whatever. We'll go chill or we'll go hang, go play bowling or whatever like that.

You bowl till 7 AM?

No, not till 7 AM, but not bowling at that time, but we'll go bowl.

We have a bowling alley at the casino.

At the casino, so we'll go to casino, eat, you know what I'm saying?

Until 7 AM?

Yeah, it's plenty of times like we just sat out, just sat out like.

Till 7 AM?

Yeah, well not necessarily 7 AM, like latest I probably came home was like 4:35. In the morning.

Okay. Is that true? 'Cause you said like it goes late.

Yeah, the latest have been 7. 7:00 AM.

Yes. Okay then. She said 7. Yeah, it is what it is. It is what it is. Okay. Do you feel comfortable with him going out?

I thought I did.

Until? Until what?

Okay, so the late night stopped after like I told him it's either you gonna come home at a certain time or Just stay out, that's it.

Okay, good. Okay, so there was a boundary set and you respected it.

Yes.

Okay then. And do you want to stay in this relationship?

I want to, yes.

And do you wanna stay in this relationship?

Yes.

Okay then. Okay, good. Well, I think it's time to unlock the phone and find out what's going on. Jaheim, we unlocked your phone. Yeah! As you, Terry, you wanna know if Jaheim has any DMs with other women. He says he does not. My locked-up phone investigator searched his DMs and found that Jaheim is telling the truth.

Told you, bro.

Told you. I told you. As you, Terry, you wanna know if Jaheim has anything suspicious in his phone. He says he does not. My locked-up phone investigators searched his phone and found that Jaheim is not telling the truth. My investigator found 12 different active porn pages that are open in his browser, but that's because you just, we have to find anything that's sexually explicit that we have to share with you. But you say you don't care that he's going to porn sites, okay.

I gotta do something.

Thanks, Rob. You said you gotta do something, okay.

Yeah, you ain't, you know what I'm saying.

All right. Audrey Terry, you wanna know if Jahiem has any texts with other women in his phone. He says he does not. My Lock the Phone investigator searched his texts and found that Jahiem is not telling the truth. Marlon Capone investigator found a text exchange with 20 other women, mainly texting, most of it is about church, but texts that Andrew Terry found were screenshots that he sent to other women where he actually talked about the message where he said, drunk you ate it. Where he's showing the messages of him saying that he wanted to have sex with me another woman. So why would you be sending to other women the message that your fiancée found of you saying you wanna have sex with a woman?

I felt like, you know, I feel like it's just somebody that I needed to talk to.

Okay. So if you wanted to talk to somebody, why didn't you talk to your fiancée about it?

Because I felt like I couldn't talk to her at the time, you know? So I feel like I just had Okay, okay, and I respect that.

I respect that. If you felt like the communication between you two is off, can I ask you this? Since you said you're active in the church, why not talk to somebody in the church?

I don't tell church people my business, you know? And that person, that's like my best friend. That's like my sister.

She's like a best friend to you? Yes. So you were getting her perspective on it? Yeah. Okay. All right, cool. I understand. All right, Adjutary, we unlocked your phone. Jaheim, you wanna know if Adjutary is texting is she texting other men? She says she is not. My Lock the Phone investigator searched her texts and found she is telling the truth. Jaheim, you wanna know if Adutere has any DMs between her and other men? She says she does not. My Lock the Phone investigator searched her DMs and found that Adutere is telling the truth. Jaheim, you wanna know if Adutere has any inappropriate photos in her phone? She said she does not. She's nodding her head saying she does not. Well, my unlock the phone investigator searched her photos and found an Eduterry. She's still telling the truth. So your fiancée has been faithful to you. She's not doing anyone, she's not talking to anybody. I think you already knew that though.

Yes.

You did know that. You knew that. So the real issue here is that you all were young, You got together, you were in love, 'cause you all are what, 24?

I'm 23.

I turned 23 this year.

23, okay. It's important for context of your age because you're young people when y'all are usually supposed to be like, this is just supposed to be exciting and fun.

Right.

We are not even having sex. And now this is causing a lot of other issues. Your intimacy is being affected. And so what I think is that the two things that really need to happen here is communication communication about what y'all really want and what y'all really desire so that you can rebuild the trust so that the intimacy can come back. Look, what's going on? You crying right now.

Okay.

Get near your fiancé. It's okay. Hold up.

It's okay. What's going on?

That's all I want. Like, I grew up, my parents was on and off. I don't want that at all.

I want you to look at each other and I want you one by one to say, "I will work on being able to talk to you and know that I can trust you." I will work on being able to talk to you and knowing that I can trust you. Say the same thing.

I will work on— What'd you say?

Talking to you so I can know I can trust you.

I will work on—

Talking to you.

Talking to you.

So I can know I can trust you.

So that I can know that I can trust you.

The second thing is I will work on—

I will work on—

The intimacy so that we can still be connected. Listen, because what's gonna happen is that you can't make that commitment as a young couple. If the intimacy goes at this stage, you might as well just go ahead and co-parent.

But I've been asking to be celibate with each other until we got married.

We're married. You've been asking to be celibate till you got married.

But that was after the fact that we had already been doing it. How can you expect me to feel when we've been doing it all this time and all of a sudden now you just want to stop, right?

So you notice the first reason, I didn't say intimacy first. You notice I said communication and trust first? Because I feel that if there's better communication and trust, then it will allow both of you to feel more connected that will allow the intimacy to come more easier. Yes, sir. But there is a true piece to this. If celibacy is what you desire, then there should have been more communication. It can't be abrupt. Intimacy doesn't just have to be sex then.

Right.

It can be other things. But what your fiancé is telling you is that intimately he no longer feels connected. And a disconnected intimate relationship is a relationship that is bound to be doomed.

Yes, sir.

I'm telling you. Bed death at 23 or 63 is never healthy in a relationship. So I'm telling you to turn to your partner and say, we gotta figure out what this intimacy is gonna look like the same way you gotta figure out how to communicate so you can trust each other.

Okay.

So do you wanna turn to him and say, I will work on—

I will work on being more intimate.

Thank you.

You said thank you to her? That was a sweet response. Because I know, that's a sweet response because as a young man to say thank you and be vulnerable enough to say thank you for at least wanting to try to be intimate, that's big.

I wish y'all the best of luck, okay?

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.