Why Does My Lesbian Lover Keep Cheating!? 👀| KARAMO

What you do?

I done cheated a lot, done lied a lot. You know, I lie to cover it up 'cause I honestly don't wanna hurt her. And cheating, it really, it was a choice for me. I did it. Not saying I can't stop, I can't. That's why I'm here.

How did Adriana find out about the cheating?

Well, when we lived together, we started living together like 2 months in our relationship. You know, she always go through my phone a lot.

Okay. Somebody said lesbians. Y'all move in quick. I ain't gonna lie, my sisters, I love y'all. Okay, so y'all moved in 2 months after being together?

Yeah, 2 months after being together. You know, she always go, she always say it's suspicious.

So how many times have you cheated? What's the exact number?

I can't give you an exact number, but—

It's that high?

But I can count it on 2 hands.

Nayonna, it's that high? In all sincerity, what do you suspect?

Really, I just, I don't want this no more.

Okay.

Like the life. This is childish, it's over with. Like, I see I wanna be with her. This is the one, she brings me peace, you know? She brought me outta a real dark place when I was in that dark place.

[Speaker:KARAMO] Okay, so she supported you at your hardest moment. So what happens when Audriana finds out that you're cheating and she gets angry? What happens?

[Speaker] She tends to get physical a lot.

[Speaker] So when you say gotten physical, do you mean you two are fighting like with fists?

[Speaker] Yes, sir.

[Speaker] Okay, and how often does that happen?

[Speaker] It happens every time like we argue or like she find out I cheat. She wants to get physical.

Every time y'all argue, every time you cheat. You just said you cheated more than two hands. So y'all have gotten in more than 10 fistfights?

Yes, sir.

Okay. And how long have y'all been together? 'Cause I know you moved in after two months. How long y'all been together?

It'll be two years in April.

You told my producers that you describe your relationship as clingy.

Yes, sir.

Why?

'Cause it's always just been us two.

Yeah.

Two peas in a pod.

So I gotta ask you, why do you wanna save this relationship?

'Cause I love her. I really do. Like, she really my peace, like my happiness. Like I said, she brought me outta that dark place.

I think it's time to meet Adriana, don't y'all? Yeah. Everyone, please welcome Adriana to the show so we can get her side of the story. Hi, Adriana. You look beautiful.

Thank you.

You look really beautiful. Thank you. I wanna know, how do you feel about everything you just heard?

If she, you know, she love me and I'm her peace, Why continue to do what you do?

My producers told me that when y'all two got together, you had a girlfriend.

Yes, sir, I did.

Oh yeah, so about the girlfriend, I seen it on Facebook. First she didn't tell me, so I seen it.

So she didn't tell you that she had a girlfriend?

She was like, "It ain't nothing like that.

I don't want her for real." So the trust was broken from day one?

Mm-hmm.

From day one. Do you agree?

Yeah, I agree.

That's the smoothness. Y'all see it? Yeah, yeah, okay. Smoothness and a little bit toxicity. We gonna be real, okay? But all right, so how did you find out she was cheating on you?

Well, I get her phone, of course.

I know I go through phones, but you do know that's toxic.

Yeah, I'm gonna do it. Yeah, I know it's toxic.

Okay, good, good, good. 'Cause I do it for proof. All parties know what's happening. When you do it and the other party doesn't know, that's when it becomes toxic behavior. But you did it for a reason.

So when I go through it, I don't say nothing right then. I kind of like, kind of act, you know, these things.

Do you contact the other woman?

No, I didn't. At first I didn't.

At first you didn't?

Yeah, at first I didn't 'cause—

Ny'Andra, what you gotta say about that?

I gotta say I lie to cover it up 'cause the hurt, I don't wanna hurt her.

You really think you lying to cover it up 'cause you don't wanna hurt her or is it that you're afraid of you being seen in a certain light? Yeah. Yeah, 'cause it's not really about her while you lying, it's about yourself. You don't wanna be seen a certain way so you wanna be saying, well, let me try to keep this persona up. And then because once she catches you, she gotta see the real you, right?

Yes, sir.

Okay, I just wanna make sure. When was the most recent time that you learned she was unfaithful?

Last May, her birthday was last May. At the beginning of December, we were separated, but we were still together.

So last month she cheated?

Mm-hmm.

Last month.

Yeah, so we were separated, so.

So from your perspective, what number does that make? 'Cause she said more than, She said more than 2 hands. She couldn't give me an exact number. Was that number 20?

I don't think it was that much, Karamo. I don't think it was that much.

15? I'm just trying to go. I'm just trying to go. What number?

Probably about 6 or 7.

Okay.

The most, yeah. 'Cause it got bad, kind of last year.

Okay. Well, she said over 10 already.

I went, well, I don't know. What you consider cheating? Well, it ain't really like, I don't consider everything you do cheating, but For me, like 5, 6, or 7.

Mm-hmm. You heard what everybody just did. They said what? You don't consider everything she done cheating?

No, like—

When she's telling you that it was cheating?

I ain't never catch the other time. That's what I say. I put like that.

So if you don't see it, then you don't count those other times?

Yeah, if I don't see, of course.

Okay, so we gotta get something big. She said you put your hands on her, you get physical. Tell me about that, why?

Not every time, but when she lying to me, I said it's like, of course she a liar. And I hit her on the face, I slapped her a couple times.

Where are those anger issues coming from? Where's that coming from?

Well, my mama, she went through the same thing. Like she, you know, I grew up around it.

So your mama does the same thing? So it's learned behavior?

Yeah.

Got it. How old are y'all, if you don't mind me asking? Nayonna, how old are you?

21.

You're 21. Okay, how old are you?

I'm 19.

You're 19. Okay, okay. So I wanna ask you, do you think you and Nayonna should stay in this relationship?

Honestly, I already know what you're gonna say.

You already know what I'm gonna say? What am I gonna say?

You gonna be like, no, we need to break up. But I feel like it could be worked on.

I'm gonna ask you this. 'cause you're 19, so you're young. What is your definition of love?

I don't know how to explain it, but—

You don't know what the definition of love is? Just say that. You don't know? You 19, I understand that. Do you know the definition of love? I mean, I like— That's the honest and most realist thing. Right, you like, uh-uh. And the reason I asked that question to both of you is because it's easy when you're young and you fall in love to be in these relationships and you move fast. And listen, as part of the member of the LGBT community, we move sometimes even quicker. It's like, you know, we didn't have the love or support at home. So it's like you meet somebody, it's like, oh, we in love in 2 days, we moving in. It's like everything's going down. And it's like you didn't have the time to process of like, what does love mean to me? Let me tell you something. Y'all are staying together because y'all are afraid of heartbreak. And I get it, young love, 19, 20, 21. That's the worst. When heartbreak happens then, it's like, oh my gosh, world is devastated. But you cannot be afraid of heartbreak and stay in this codependent, unhealthy relationship. You already, you just said you knew I was gonna say it. You already know it. It started off with trust issues from day one.

One.

I know you said she was with you in your darkest moments, and I believe that, but that even in your darkest moments, you couldn't find the respect to treat her how she needed to be treated. So I'm gonna be real with you. I love you, Nyonna. I just met you, but you gotta stop using that as an excuse, that she was there for me in my darkest moments, because there's gonna be other people who are gonna be there for you in darkest moments. They're gonna be there for you when it's hard. I don't think you're gonna have a problem finding that. Obviously you can find women with no problem. And then for you, come on now. You're a young woman who is modeling behavior. You just told me, "My mama used to fight, so I'm fighting." But now the work you have to do is you have to challenge that narrative of what you witness in the house and ask yourself, why am I modeling this behavior?

I know I deserve better, I do.

Then why are you staying? Why are you getting physical if you knew better —then why have you been in this for 2 years? So there is an unconscious part of you that thinks this is what life has to be because you didn't have a healthy relationship modeled for you. And you need to do the work to fight against that. Y'all have been codependent for 2 years. If you are courageous enough, I would like you all to maybe break up today. You know, are you courageous enough?

It won't happen today. Exactly.

Go home and do the work. Clearly pinpoint for both of y'all where the work starts. So you ain't got no excuse. Karamo done gave y'all the starting point. You know exactly where it starts. Self-respect for you, it starts with you. And for you, it starts with understanding why you're mimicking your mother's behavior and why you don't feel like you deserve more. Good luck, y'all. All right? Yes. All right, everyone.