Why Is My Straight Boyfriend Logging Into Grindr? | KARAMO

You gave this man you're engaged to all of these gifts and you find out he's cheating. How did you find out that Dakota was cheating?

So after I bought him that motorcycle, it was like $12K and I'm still paying on it, he made these new friends on a little like bike group that they have and he started going out late for hours, not answering, not responding. And then I had an altercation with that friend, right? And he tells me, if you wanna find out what your boyfriend wants, and what he needs, then you better chill. And that's when I said, "Oh, you need to tell me what the fuck went on." So what happened when you asked him about it? He was like, "I'm not gonna get into it, but let's just say he don't want you." Okay, so do you know the girl that he cheated with?

You do? Oh, poor baby. You know her?

We hung out like once or twice. I'm sorry, I'm not trying to cry right now.

No, it's okay. This is your emotions, girl. You talking about your man. This is serious. So you knew her?

We hung out once and then she was trying to like be there like a friend for me. And then when I confronted her about it, she was like, "I promise I didn't know.

He said he was single." Was this the first time that he was unfaithful to you?

The first time in person, but online there's been many, many times.

Hold on, so I'm seeing these texts right now. It says, "I wanna know the truth from woman to woman about what was done physically because we were still together." And what did she say when you said that to her? "This is not your, this is not blank fault. He said that y'all was single." And okay. "It's becoming really hard when he's lying on both of us." Oh. Oh wow. So she's confirming that he was lying.

Yeah, and—

And playing both of y'all.

She didn't want to tell me at first.

So let me just make sure. So even though you've called off the engagement, you're still in a relationship?

So he lives with me because he's in a situation where I love him so much that I don't want him to be out without a home or anything like that.

So he's not paying rent?

No.

Okay. And why not?

I'm gonna be honest, he's very, like, he doesn't like keeping jobs.

So him not keeping jobs, and I haven't heard his side of the story, so I do want to give the benefit of the doubt here, so I'm asking this question. And not as a judgment, but why is it your responsibility if he doesn't like keeping jobs? 'Cause he's a grown man.

He is.

I always felt that I had to be a wife figure to him and like it's supposed to be, you know, 100, 100 from both sides. But I feel like this whole relationship I've been 100%, he's been zero.

Yeah. Wow. I mean, your logic is not bad. That's what you're supposed to do in a relationship. Like when your partner can't, you give. And you can't, they give a little bit more. But it does sound a little uneven from what you're telling me. So was this the first time he was unfaithful to you?

That I know of, yes.

Got it.

Like he is my first everything, my first kiss, my first love. I waited for him because I wanted to wait till I was in love to give my all to one person. And I feel like he ruined that for me.

Do you get in fights with him?

All the time. Sometimes it gets physical.

Oh.

But it's, yeah, like physical. Wow. And if I say—

Does he hit you or are you hitting each other?

I'm gonna be honest, sometimes he starts it, sometimes I start it.

Okay.

Because I'm not, like whenever he starts it, I'm not gonna let him put his hands on me after like everything, no.

Got it.

So.

I know that your brother Kevin is actually in the audience and we're gonna talk to him a little bit later and get his side, but first, I think it's time that we hear Dakota's side. Please, everyone, welcome Dakota to the show.

Nah. Cause can I be honest? On some real. This is some. Everybody only knows you're one side of the story. And this is some. On some serious. Because. Can I be honest? You are controlling. You control my life. You tell me what I can do, when I can do it, and for how long I can do it. Even my credit. You built it. Yes, but then you say, you own my life, my whole life. You say, I don't have a life.

You weren't before me, were you?

Even then. Even then. No, no, no. No, even then, even then you still sit there and you say you own my life. Let me know when you're done. No, even then you still say—

Everybody wanna know, he didn't have his license before me. He didn't have credit. He didn't even have basically a roof over his head.

Even then you still sit there and you say that you own me.

I'm controlling because you try to go to bed at times that are terrible and I'm trying to get you a job, wake up for interviews. Why do I gotta be responsible for you showing up to your interviews?

You know what's crazy?

You kidding me? I mean, in that minute right there, I got a whole, glimpse of the relationship that you two are in.

It's just toxic.

It really is.

It's controlling. It's toxic. It's just— it's—

so what happened the day you hung out with the other girl?

The day that we hung out with the other girl, honestly, I was pissed. Me and her got into a fight, and everybody knows. And she sits here and says that we didn't break up. Guess what? I broke up with her that night. Truthfully, I mean, I've cheated in the past, honestly, like plenty of times. And, and I get it, cuz in the first few months of we dating, it was perfect. Everything was so amazing. But like, she's so insecure that like she didn't want to send me pictures of herself She didn't wanna like hang out and everything else like that. Like it was just a bunch of like.

So are you blaming her having insecurity on the fact that you cheated? Is that what?

Is that it?

And no, not in a way, to be honest.

And he's literally lying. We didn't break up. We've been on and off for like the longest time. Every time we break up, he knows we don't really break up.

We actually broke up that night.

He knows.

When we broke up that night, she literally sat there and you know what she said to me?

You know we didn't break up.

She, I broke up.

You're a fucking liar, bro.

So I literally sat there and said that we broke up and you know what she told me? She's like, We always break up and we come back together, but I was really done with her that night, for real. I was really done with her that night.

You two are 20 and 21, right? Yeah. How old are you?

He's 21.

21. 21, 20. Okay then. Okay. And you've been together for 3 years?

Yes.

3 years. Got it. So then if you were done, why did you move back in together?

Because we always come back to each other and I hate that.

But why? So then you knew he wasn't done, right?

Because for something like that night, I was so pissed off that night. I was so pissed off that night that once I was pissed off, I was pissed off. I was so frustrated and I was like, I snapped and I was just like, I'm fucking done.

So tell me about these fights because she said earlier that y'all put y'all hands on each other and sometimes you're the aggressor. Is that true?

Yeah, half the time, yeah, I initiate it 'cause like I got anger issues and I admit that. But then there's times where she literally will sit there and put her hands on me and then she'll literally, like she said that she was gonna stab me and everything else.

I just wanna get clarity. When you're talking about y'all are in a physical altercation, are you punching each other? In that?

Yeah.

Was it just slapping, punching? Like she's literally— And he literally grabs me by the throat and says he's gonna kill me if I go out with another dude. And the craziest part is she has made me bleed. She has literally put marks on me. She's made me bleed. She's put bruises on me. And her family has seen it hand in hand. She has slapped me right in front of her little sister and she's only 12.

And y'all are spitting on each other too?

Yeah, she spits on me half the time. She really does spit on me. And it's just craziness. I'm tired of the. I'm tired of her doing the same thing every single day.

Okay, so, 'cause I like to track behavior. So you said, I buy things for him, I buy things, even in your language you said, I made you, I own your life, your exact words. If you are feeling, and you came out here and said you feel controlled, then why accept gifts? If someone's controlling you, why would I accept gifts?

Now I'm gonna tell you, so the reason as to why I accept the gifts, right? Truthfully, I just accept them 'cause I mean, if I don't accept them, then am I kind of like a dick for that?

No, because you want it.

And it's crazy because you're a broke-ass dude that can't get a job. No, I do have a job. That's crazy. So the truth be, and truth be told, and it's funny too, so she went and already signed the bike and everything else and got it for me before I even said it. And I told her I didn't want the bike. Me and her mom even agreed that I would go return the bike if that was easier.

You're such a liar.

Everything that I have.

We saw a bit of the video earlier where you were emotional and thankful for the gift.

Yeah, of course.

Okay. Well, yeah, 'cause this is, Yeah, bro, I was crying.

That nigga though, bro.

I mean, I'm not gonna lie to you. Somebody buy me a $12,000 motorcycle, I'm gonna cry too. So Melanie's brother Kevin is in the audience. Kevin, what do you have to say about all this?

I think that she should leave him.

You do? 'Cause you're witnessing this. Period. What happens when you see, but 'cause do y'all live together? 'Cause are you in the house?

Yeah, we all live together.

So it's a roommate situation. So what do you, when you see you see your sister getting spit on, when you see her getting hit, like what goes through your mind?

I mean, I've gotten tossed around the room and everything by both of them.

Yeah.

Trying to stop them.

You've been tossed out the room? Mm-hmm.

You don't need to tell nobody that. Do you want it to happen again?

Oh. And it's crazy too, 'cause I, and it's so, 'cause you know what's funny is that me and him have gotten in altercations about it, but he never steps up and says anything about anything that's going on. He never says anything.

I love him like a brother.

Okay.

Still.

Still. Even through all that?

Even after all of that. But I believe that they should, they should stop being together. I honestly, I don't want my sister to turn into my mom.

You want to know if Dakota was communicating with an ex or a recent hookup. And you also want to know, number 2, if Dakota had any dating apps in his phone. Those are 2 things that you're looking for, correct? All right, well, it's time to unlock the truth.

Are you ready for this?

All right.

100%.

All right, Melanie, you want to know if Dakota was messaging his ex or recent hookup. My Unlock the Phone investigator searched through his DMs and found that Dakota is not telling the truth. On Snapchat, you message your ex Ex and your recent hookup is listed as a BFF on your Snap. Oh.

You know what's crazy about that? Mm-hmm. Hold on, hold on, hold on. The funniest part about that is I actually do have another person name in my phone as that on Snapchat. Now this person is actually an ex before that. Now I remind you, you ready for this?

Mm-hmm.

She acts like me texting all my exes. She pretends to be me, drags them in, leads them in.

Well, this sounds like excuses that we're gonna keep going through, okay? Don't make excuses to me. All right, next, Melanie, you want to know if Dakota was communicating with his ex and a recent hookup. My unlock the phone investigator searched through his texts and found that Dakota is not telling the truth. We found 137 texts. The first text with, the first text was with an ex saying, "Hello beautiful, maybe we could start over." Now the next one is 100 texts.

You kidding me, bro?

Mm-hmm. Totally. Well, the next one is 136 texts with the recent hookup, 120 texts from him to the hookup, 16 incoming texts. But this was the interesting part. Upon further investigation, my investigator realized that it was actually you, Melanie, who was texting his ex and not Dakota.

So then it was probably that one night.

You literally sit there and told your side of the story. I'm telling you right now is my time to shine. I'm telling my story, bro. No, no, no, no, no. Because this is, bro, you literally sit there and you text all my exes, pretend to be me. You get nudes off them bitches. You get nudes off them bitches. And then you say you like that shit. And I'll be like, why are you getting nudes off my exes when I don't even talk to them? I don't want them. I can't even go in public without you saying, "You like that bitch, you like that bitch, you like that bitch." Like what?

Well, maybe if you didn't call me fat and ugly all the time.

Yeah, I'm sure.

I wanna be like that.

I'm sure.

Okay, we're gonna keep going. So Melanie wants to know if Dakota has any dating apps on his phone. My unlock the phone investigator searched through your apps and found that Dakota is not telling the truth. We found 3 deleted dating apps. First, he has Meet, which he logged into in 2021. Last login was 2021. Now the reason that's important is because you all have been together for 3 years. So 2021. We found Tinder that was logged in in March and July and he used the app 32 times.

Yes. Yep.

Now the third app.

Are you kidding? This year?

The third app is that you were logged on to Grindr May 2022.

So actually, hold on. Okay, okay, okay, okay. No, I can actually admit, yes, I logged into Grindr.

Is there anything that you need to confess to her?

No.

Truth.

Okay, so the Tinder one that I logged into, right? So I logged into Tinder and I logged into MeetMe. MeetMe is called MeetMe. So I logged into MeetMe because she actually has Tinder as well on her phone. And I've logged into Grindr because there was a time where either I downloaded it or she downloaded it and we were trying to log in because she was trying to log into her brother's account to go through his messages.

Okay.

No, I'm dead serious.

You sure about that?

I swear to God. I swear to God.

Listen, we're not here, you know, I'm not here to ever vindicate you when it comes to your sexual orientation or anything. No, of course, no, of course. I totally understand that. Yeah, it's you. You get to live your life how you want to. Of course. But the thing is, is that this is one of the most toxic relationships that I've ever seen on this show.

100%. 100%. All my friends have said it, 100%.

Everyone has said it.

Kevin, how do you feel about what you've seen and heard? Do you believe him? Do you believe your sister?

I believe she is in a lot of pain and the best thing for her should be to leave him.

You gotta find the courage. You both have to find the courage to leave each other because at this point, there's not one villain in this story. What it is is two people that are hurt and broken and who do not know how to heal together. All right? And so as much as I wanna say that you're the bad guy or you're the bad guy, it's just not it. You're just not happy and healthy together and you're young. And if you start a pattern from now, this is only gonna continue and get worse when you're 25, 35, and 45. And what I don't want is for y'all to drag anybody else's children into this mess. So heal yourself first. Please, I encourage you to leave this stage, take a look at each other and say, you're not his responsibility. And she's not yours. You don't have to pay his bills. You don't gotta worry about what— He's gonna land on his feet. Trust me, okay? He got a phone in his pocket. We know he know how to use it. He got people he talking to. He gonna land on his feet, okay? That is not your responsibility. What is your responsibility is to keep talking to the people you love and keep growing, okay? I would recommend you stop doing buying and doing a lot more buying.

Okay?