In this episode of Karamo’s talk‑show, Jasmine confronts her boyfriend Adrian about a series of trust breaches that have emerged after four years together. The conflict began when Jasmine found an unused condom in Adrian’s sock, prompting her to question his honesty. Their relationship started as an open arrangement, but Jasmine later sought monogamy, only for Adrian to claim he was still committed while continuing to see other women. The conversation reveals repeated lies, Adrian’s dependence on Jasmine after moving into her home, and Jasmine’s fear of losing him despite evidence of infidelity. Karamo mediates, probing the history of their agreement, past relationships, and the dynamics of control versus autonomy. He challenges both partners’ antiquated views on relationships, advises Jasmine on rebuilding trust without surveillance, and ultimately suggests that the partnership may be unsustainable unless honest communication and self‑esteem are restored. The episode also touches on Jasmine’s request to unlock Adrian’s phone, which she later declines after already seeing damaging content.
Chapters
Pretty recently, I found a condom in my boyfriend's sock. I threw it at him. I was like, what the hell is this? Why is this in your sock? Of course, I was mad. I was upset. I was getting angry. So I couldn't see straight, so I left for a little bit. He started going out and just not being honest with me. And then something would happen. Just the universe started putting me in positions to see things. So when we started our relationship, we started off with an open relationship. But I genuinely did not expect to fall in love with him like I did. Once I realized that I wasn't okay with the open relationship, I told him that I couldn't do it, that I needed the commitment. So he did tell me, when I thought we were in a committed relationship, that he had been with a couple other females. He's like, "Don't ask questions that you don't want the answers to." So I was like, "If this is what you want, fine, you can have it." So we went back to being in an open relationship. This is all me. Like, it's my fault. I just want him to be happy. Again, I pushed it. I threatened to leave him 2 nights ago. But I know at the same time, you can only push someone so much before they start making arrangements and they start planning on their exit. I just want him to be honest with me about what he's doing and just rebuild the trust. I just need Karamo's help.
We will meet Jasmine shortly, but let's start with her boyfriend Adrian first. So everyone please welcome Adrian to the show. All right. So how do you feel about what you just saw?
Cap.
Cap.
Cap.
Okay. Cap. In what ways? In what ways?
All right, so like, let's say I be like, "Hey, here's this little gremlin," per se.
All right.
Don't feed it after midnight. Or it's gonna attack you. And then she feed it after midnight. She don't like what it is now. She wanna take it back to the gremlin shop. Nah, you know what I'm saying?
Kinda, I'm kinda there with you. But okay, kinda. So when you first started dating, you were in an open relationship?
Absolutely.
Okay, and she agreed to it? I heard her just say it, she agreed.
Right, you know what I'm saying? I said, look, you know what I'm saying? I am the driver. It's either you gonna ride or you gonna slide.
Okay.
I mean, I agree with you. And she agreed?
And she agreed.
She agreed?
Yeah.
So normally I'd have made that comment, but she agreed. So she was like, this is what I wanna do. And then she wanted more of a commitment.
Correct.
And what was your response?
Honestly, in my mind I was like, she must wanna entertain a fantasy, an idea, a fairytale or something.
And what was the fantasy in your mind? Y'all just being together alone?
Right, yeah, we're gonna be in a monogamous relationship. 'Cause I could have sworn I said what I said.
Uh-huh.
Okay.
I mean, as a grown man, you know what I'm saying?
You're grown, yeah, you're grown. You said what you wanna say, what you wanted the relationship to be.
So now you gonna come back and try to flip what I said on me.
And then did you agree to be monogamous?
I agreed to entertain a fairytale.
You agree— Oh, so hold on, so here's the deception. So you agreed.
I mean—
You agreed.
To monogamy?
Yes. Well, yeah. Okay then. And then during that time when you agreed, did you then cheat on her? Were you talking to other women?
I did.
Okay then.
Yes. So then why did you agree? Why did I agree? Mm-hmm. Well, because—
See, I was on your side right until that point.
Well, because, okay.
Up until that point, I'm like—
Well, I feel that. Okay, 'cause see, this is my thing, right? She put me into a situation where I became dependent on her.
Okay.
And to where like, you know, I had—
Hold on, she put you in a situation and became dependent?
Well, yeah, because I moved outta my parents' house and I moved into her house.
Got it, okay.
You feel what I'm saying? Okay. She showered me with gifts and everything. You wanna lie or tell the truth?
Okay, no, I appreciate the truth. We appreciate the truth. So tell me about the condom in the sock.
It wasn't used.
Okay. You play too much. Okay, okay. So, but then after that, you two went back to having an open relationship? How did that conversation come about?
Well, because I kept just saying, this is what you agreed on when we first came into here, and I don't know why you would ever feel like I would've changed my mind.
But you did change your mind.
I started playing the game.
Oh, okay.
I mean, 'cause see—
Can she date other people?
She can.
Okay.
You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I'm not about to keep you from your growth.
Okay. Yeah, straight up. Okay. You don't like using labels in a relationship, my producers tell me.
—told me.
I do not. Okay. It's a form of control. Oh, you're my man. You can't do this. You can't do that. You know what I'm saying? How long have y'all been together? We've known each other since the 9th grade. We've been in a relationship for 4 years.
4 years. Okay. And during that time that y'all, that you've known each other, how many long-term relationships have you been in?
I have been in 3. And which one of them broke your heart? All of them in a sense. Okay.
So do you introduce her as your girlfriend?
My lady.
You do, your lady. That's not girlfriend. So what do you mean?
I also, as my queen, you know, this is my queen. Okay. Yeah.
Okay, so is this back and forth in the relationship hurting y'all? Eventually. How's the trust between you two?
Except for in this area, it's perfect, it's good.
Has she been through your phone before? She has. She has been through your phone. Yeah. Okay, well listen, let's meet Jasmine and hear her side of the story. So everyone please welcome Jasmine to the show. Hey Jasmine, how you doing? Hi Karamo, how are you? Nice to meet you. I like your boots.
Thank you, I had to represent Texas.
Okay, I like it, I appreciate it. Thank you. Did finding the condom in his sock happen during the time you were committed to each other? Yes.
Okay. And I'd like to clarify a couple things that were said. One of my issues is he, feels 100% that I manipulated him. I was in an open relationship before him and I thought I'd be okay with it, I really did. Now, when I changed the rules, keep in mind, when I made him dependent on me, I didn't make him depend on me because, hold on, stop. See, this is what I deal with. He doesn't ever allow me to finish my speaking. Did I say anything? But you're about to. No, I wasn't. If we were at home, you would. Okay, okay, okay. But, He lost his birth certificate, he lost everything. So I was helping him get that. So yes, I made him dependent on me for the simple fact he couldn't find a job. He couldn't get one 'cause we had to get his ID. We had to get birth certificate for the ID.
Well, he opted to learn good, you never made him dependent on you. Right. No, you offered something and then— I helped him, right.
You helped him. When you decided to change the stipulations of the relationship, I didn't have a job at that time and I had just moved in, and what did you say?
And I told you, I will still be here to help you, it just won't be in the same way. Cryptic message. And, but at the time you didn't know me at that time. But cryptic messages. But you didn't know how I, we didn't know each other that well at that time for you to know. So if I told you right now I'm walking out the door, but I'll still be here to help, you know good and damn well I'll still be there in any form you need. I would not turn my back completely on you.
We're in a different stage of our relationship though.
I get that, that's what I'm saying. So that's all I'm trying to ask. This is what I'm trying to accomplish.
What were your past relationships like?
I was married for 15 years and I had an open relationship.
He got what he wanted. So. Exactly, I do more, but I get less than the person that was doing more.
Like, come on, make it make sense. That's a whole different story. But with that one, and he's right, he does a lot more for me than my ex did. He does, I'm not denying that. But he get the fame. But at the same time, okay. At the same time, I didn't love him the way I love Adrian. I never, and Adrian says.
Is it love or obsession? It's love.
Because I would love for you, I would do anything for you, which is why I've agreed to it again because I want you to be happy. At the end of the day—
Are you happy with him being in an open relationship?
I'm happy with every aspect of our relationship with the exception of that. And I think I could get— So that means you're not happy? But I think I could get happy if there was more honesty.
I think you would be more happy if you get involved.
Oh!
Ever since I found the condom in the sock, I'm steadily catching him in lies. Lie about this, lie about that. So that's, I'm trying to rebuild trust. Now if you can tell me—
But can I tell you something? It seems like hearing you talk that you're more concerned about what he wants than what you want. I'm really not getting any clarity.
Because when you love someone— Hold on, hold on, hold on. Hold on, let me answer this.
Hold on, hold on, hold on. Let me just say one thing, 'cause I consistently tell her, 'cause she tells me that she loves me, right? But I say it's impossible for you to love me if you don't love yourself.
And I knew you were gonna go—
You gotta love yourself first.
And I do love myself, but here's my answer. I love this man, I love unconditional, I love his flaws and his perfections. And again, I'm okay with that. I can get past the open relationship, I can get past all that if I have the honesty behind it. Again, he knows that he's broken my trust and I know it annoys him asking him where he's going, what he's doing. And honestly, Karamo, if you have any suggestions on how I could rebuild trust without that, I'm open.
Well, I think it's time to unlock the phone because that's what you came here for. Interesting, we didn't unlock the phone because Jasmine, you originally called the show to unlock Adrian's phone, but then you changed your mind. Why?
Because I've already seen things on his phone that hurt and I don't wanna leave this man. I don't wanna leave him. I wanna work this out. And if I see what's on the phone, I don't know if I can get past that. I don't wanna re-hurt that. At the end of the day, I know he loves me. I know he does. But he puts me before him on a lot of aspects with the exception of this one issue.
So you're asking me for my advice on how to make this open relationship work?
I'm asking for your advice on how to rebuild trust without him feeling like I'm following him or I'm, 'cause he feels like I'm trying to control him.
Well, first of all, I'll tell you the first thing is that both of you have very antiquated views of looking at a relationship. So the first thing I would tell you is that you both gotta throw that out the window. The man you talk to and listen to and love should be open enough and respect you enough to say, "Hey, I can have a conversation about where I'm going." You should never feel like you have to beg a man to be honest and transparent with you. Never. Never. You don't wanna be in an open relationship. You are a woman in her 40s that wants commitment to be monogamous and wants to have a person that you can just be with by yourself to grow with. But you're allowing yourself to stay in something because you're not fully loving yourself and understanding what you need. And vice versa, if you want an open relationship, brother, I respect that. But now you're taking a woman who has shown you she loves you, has been there for you, and now you actually are the one that's manipulating her feelings to get what you want. So if you ask me where this relationship is going, it's going nowhere. And the reason it's going nowhere is because you cannot fully be honest about the growth that you need. Unfortunately, though you need to heal, you have been upfront. So this is a you problem at this point where you have to find the self-esteem. He is not going to give you what you're looking for. He's not gonna give it. And I know that hurts to say, but I'm gonna be real. I know you're not leaving this relationship. So again, I've asked you, the thing you should do is she deserves for you to be able to communicate. She deserves to question. She deserves these things. And if you really love her, you'll give her those things. And so if he's not giving that security, Hopefully you'll be like, you know what Karamo said, I deserve this. And hopefully that can be a reminder to move on and to start to grow. I wish you the best of luck. I really do. I wish you the best of luck as well.
