You Chose Your New Man Over Your Friend! 😡🥀 | KARAMO

Hi everybody.

So tell me about your friendship with Anna. How did you two meet?

Well, I'm a real estate agent and she was a client looking for a piece of property. And when I first saw her in the street, I was like, wow, what a stunning, beautiful woman. And we ended up going to a vacant co-op and there was a couch and we sat down and we had like this beautiful little connection going on.

So what was the connection for you all?

I don't know what it was because right now we're at obviously a different space. And yes, like you said, I do feel like I have lost a sister. And now that I was married for 21 years, got divorced, and I come to, okay, now there's women friendships. The reason why I wanted to tell this story about Etta, and I'm glad you have tissues here, is that I think that women, like now I'm a single woman, I think men come in and out of my life and I believe that a woman's bond should be forever.

Yes. So how was your friendship before things got rough?

It was very nice. We spoke on the phone every single night. We would talk about just, you know, just our lives and it was, to me it had depth.

So why do you think your relationship changed? Because it seems like y'all were on a good space.

I started getting involved with someone from the past. Okay, so with the ex coming back into my life, it was a 5-year rollercoaster. That's all I need to say. And—

This is after your 21-year marriage?

Yes. Okay. Yes. There were times where, you know, I tried to think before I say something to not harm someone.

Okay.

Quite emotional, as you can probably tell by now, and sensitive. And as time went on, I felt that she was more—

Aggressive, rude?

Curt. Curt? OK. OK. And it's very hard for me to talk bad about someone.

Yeah, but you're feeling—

But these are my feelings. OK, these are my feelings, and I'm hurt.

Yeah, so she was curt with you during the relationship?

Well, she would lose patience. Excuse me for interrupting.

No, no, you can interrupt. So she would lose patience and then you one day said something that, what do you think, made her mad or?

I don't think I made her mad. I just think that she got back with her boyfriend and now our relationship, I feel, and I don't like to use the word selfish, but I just think that you should take time for your friends. Look, I have single friends. I'm very happy when they meet the man of their dreams, you know, and they're happy. I know that our time together is going to be limited, but our relationship is still strong.

Did you tell your friend how you felt when she went into this new relationship?

No, no, it was—

'Cause you were feeling hurt that she got into a new relationship and she stopped talking to you.

I wasn't hurt that she got into the new relationship 'cause we still kind of continued, but then COVID happened.

Okay.

She was just with him.

How's the loss of this friendship affected you?

I'm sad. It makes me a little anxious because I'm really trying from to be very, very heartfelt about my relationships now. And it's like, I don't like letting people go, you know? And, but I think she, it's easier for her to let me go.

Okay, so I wanna hear how Etta feels about this situation. Everyone, please help me welcome Etta to the show. Etta, you've been backstage and you've heard some of what Michelle had You have something to say, how do you feel about it?

I have a different take on everything, Karamo.

Okay, please tell me.

Yes, I felt that Michelle and I had a beautiful synergy in the beginning of our relationship, but it did not grow as circumstances in our life grew. And I found that the relationship slowly became lopsided, and I felt like eventually I became Michelle's thing. Therapist and not her friend.

Ouch.

So do you think she's a good friend?

I'm sorry about that.

Do you think she's a good friend to you?

I think that Michelle has a kind heart. I really love you as a person, Michelle. But I found it exhausting to listen to all your problems with only minimal curiosity about what was going on in my life. And I don't want my life to be focused on negativity. It's nice to have someone there to listen, but also to share in my joy with my family and my other concerns in life.

Do you feel that your relationship was one-sided and that you owe her?

I feel that we were both there for each other during different times. I didn't really consider her a therapist. I considered her to, but I took everything she said Maybe as a therapist would say, because I think she's very smart, intelligent, and that's one other thing that I do love about her.

But you are acknowledging that when you were together, from your point of view, that there was times where it was a little bit more lopsided, that you talked about?

Because in my time, my roller coaster for 5 years was quite a roller coaster. And yes, she did tell me, which I don't think I could say to somebody, but she did tell me, she said, I don't wanna talk about that anymore. And I felt like she ran outta patience with me. And I think as friendships, you should have patience and maybe there's an easier, kinder way of saying it.

Do you think you ran outta patience with her?

I think I became exhausted by the continual problems. And I feel that when my input does not do any good, then I need to extract myself. If I had felt that my input was constructive I would've stayed there. I would not abandon. But when a person hears and heeds your advice but then goes back and does it again and again and again and yet again.

I was lost.

I was lost. It was a big responsibility for me.

I think there's times where we all get lost. Yeah. Unfortunately, my time was a 5-year period. Yeah. And am I happy about that? Absolutely not. Did I wanna put that stress on Etta? Absolutely not.

So how did you feel like your relationship was different when you were single?

Well, when we were single together, we had a lot of fun. We did. And then we realized that we had each other's heart to listen to. And I stopped drinking. I've been alcohol-free for 5 years. And Michelle continued to—

Thank you.

And Michelle, continued to drink and hang around with that sort of scene, which I had nothing in common with. And then I had a boyfriend, and I'm very close to my, my sons and my children, my grandchildren. And, uh, we started having very different joys in life.

Got it.

We used to do music venues. We don't have to do that anymore. We can— she can take time away from whatever it is, like Once every 2 weeks, I do that with a lot of women. Once every 2 weeks, we set a date and we catch up and we talk about our grandchildren and our children, but that has never been, you know, brought to me.

I think Michelle likes to go out at night. I like to go out during the day. I would love to have a girlfriend or Michelle or someone to work out with, to take walks with, to sit and have a cup of tea with and talk about— it could be philosophy, it could be world events, it could be anything.

Would I like to go to the gym with Etta? Yes, I do. I work during the day, so my free time is, it doesn't have to be 10 o'clock going out dancing, but we like to go do that, right? Okay, all right, so it doesn't have to be that. It could be 5 o'clock, let's meet for an hour and have a little nosh or something and catch up. To me, that's putting yourself. Excuse me.

Karamo, this is not the Michelle Show, it's the Karamo Show.

Edda, what do you want to happen today?

Well, it would be nice if we could get to a higher ground. I don't know if that's possible.

And what does the higher ground look like to you?

Higher ground has more equitable give and take in conversation.

Okay.

And higher ground would be Michelle not just being curious about my feelings or my family or my future aspirations, 1% or 2% of the time, but 50% of the time?

Every time we talk on the phone, any interaction that we have had, I ask about her, her family, where she's been. She tells me she's been there. I listen to all that she has to say. I do, I do. Maybe I don't go over and above it. Maybe it's not as much as you would like, But I could work on that.

That's nice to hear. Thank you.

You're welcome.

It is a beautiful thing to hear, but if you two would like my advice, I have to tell you that I think that this friendship has run its course. And I have to be honest about that. And as much as I like to give happy resolutions, I also wanna be realistic. With the people sitting in front of me so that you can have real growth in your life. And unfortunately, you two are two very strong, beautiful, intelligent women who want two different things. You can give it up for them. They are amazing women. But you want two different things. And I think you both met at a vulnerable time or maybe at a time in your life where you were on the same page. But just like every book, once the page turns, it's okay if you start a new chapter. And characters in that old chapter are no longer in the new one. [APPLAUSE] And I think that what needs to happen now is an acknowledgement that we have grown apart. We are grown women and what you want, I don't want, and what you want, I don't want. So let's say we enjoy the time we had and figure out who else is gonna fulfill us in life because it's not each other. And be okay with saying, you know what, we had a good time.

We had a good time. Yes. We did.

Yes, there you go.

We did.

We had a good time.

We did.

And you know what? One day you might be back in a space where you turn that page again and now you two are in that chapter again.

I miss talking to you at night.

I know you do. I know you do. But you're not there anymore and you're gonna have to grieve that. You're gonna have to grieve that. You're not there anymore. This is not the friend that can give you that.

That's tough.

I know it's tough. It's tough.

That's tough because I really do love her.

Yeah. So I think first thing is, can you both just say to each other, we are gonna celebrate what we have, but it's time to move on. So can you tell her?

I will always value what we had, even though we've moved in separate directions. And it is my hope for you that you're joyful and that you you find more happiness and people in your world that will give you what you need.

Boom, that's beautiful. Can you give her the same? Can you—

I wish I could repeat those lovely words.

It's okay, say it in your own way. Say it in your own way. Say it in your own way.

I have nothing but happiness in my heart that you have a globe around you that is so worldwide and special that everybody should have that.

Yeah.

Thank you.

So great. You all have started the biggest piece now. You now no longer have these expectations that it's going to be what it was, and you can acknowledge that we're done now, and maybe we'll come back. But I wish you the best on this new journey, and I think y'all are going to be fine. How do you feel? Good?

I feel good.

Good, good. How do you feel? Ah, I know, I know, I know, I know you do. I know you do. But I'm glad you all have the closure you need so you can move on.

Okay.

And y'all can just love each other from afar. Yeah.

Am I allowed to hug her?

Sure, if she's okay with it. Good luck. Y'all are beautiful ladies. Beautiful, beautiful.

Yeah. She's gonna be good.

Yes. Good job. I'm happy for you all. Yeah, seriously. Everyone, thank you so much for being with us. Come back next time, friends, so we can keep talking and growing. And remember, I love you. You all. Hold on, where you going? I'll tell you where you're going. Right here to subscribe, and right here to watch more.

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