You Smashed My Window, The Wedding Is Off! | KARAMO

Karamo mediates between Zay and her fiancée Lovely, who accuses Lovely of cheating after overhearing phone calls. Lovely allegedly smashed Zay's car window. When Karamo checks Lovely's phone, there are no sexual messages, only platonic ones. Both describe poor communication and cycles of breaking up and reconciling over their three-year-old daughter Ava.
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Hey, Karamo.
This is Demetrius, Zay's mother. Zay is involved in this toxic relationship with Lovely, and I'm sick of it. I'm so sick of it. Zay throwing Lovely out with her shit. Lovely busting windows out the car. This shit is ridiculous, and I'm damn sick of it. I mean, who's cheating here? Is Zay cheating? Is Lovely cheating? They just need to go these separate ways. Karamo, unlock these phones and find out who in the hell is doing it. Doing the cheating.
I gotta go, I'm on my lunch.
We gonna find out for you, mama. So everyone, please welcome her daughter Zay to the show so we can find out what's going on.
Can I have a hug?
Zay, your mother says she don't know what is going on. She don't know who is cheating, what is happening. So you tell me what's happening.
Okay, Karamo, so my fiancée Lovely, she has this best friend who I believe that she's cheating with.
Okay.
I personally have heard them on the phone and her best friend is like, "Oh, I wanna fuck you." She wants to be with her. She's constantly bringing her into every relationship that she's been in and her best friend has ruined all of her relationships. We're engaged and I just want the truth. I honestly just want the truth. There's a child involved.
You've heard that? You've heard her say, "I wanna have sex with you." Yes. So at that point, why did you not leave?
I can't. I love her too much. And honestly, they stopped—
Don't say aww to that. That's a self-esteem issue. That is not aww, okay?
They, they, they, she—
Talk about aww. Talk about, she said her girlfriend's best friend said, "I wanna have sex with you." Y'all talking about aww? That's what she said? No, it would've been, "Girl, get your ass out my—" Now I understand why you kicked her out the house. Now— Now it's starting to make more sense to me. I haven't.
I mean, at the time when I kicked her out, they weren't friends anymore. Oh. But now they're friends again and I just want her phone unlocked so I can know the truth.
How long have y'all been together?
We've been on and off for 3 years.
3 years. Okay then. Are you close to the best friend now or have you ever been? No. Never been close to the best friend? Never. Okay then. Is that what the fight is always about? Is it always about the best friend? 'Cause you just said that you kicked her out one time and the best friend wasn't even involved. So that means that there's some other issues y'all are having?
There is some other issues.
What are the other issues?
Our communication is bad. I honestly believe we have two different parenting styles when it comes to my 3-year-old. I've addressed her about that, but it's just really the root of the communication, honestly.
The communication, okay. Your mother said Lovely broke your car window. Is that true? She did. She did? Yes. And why you didn't leave when she broke your car window? Say it. 'Cause I love her. And y'all say, "Aw." Uh-huh, you see how it don't work? Uh-huh, you see? You see?
I do, honestly.
But why would you not, if somebody is damaging your property, and again, I wanna get Lovely's side of the story. If someone's damaging your property, why not say enough is enough? Right.
It's not even just the love. At the very beginning, it was different. I drove 2 hours every day, getting off at 8 o'clock at night when I worked at Walmart to go see her. I would go get my daughter, drive 2 hours to go see her, wake up at 6 o'clock in the morning, drive 2 hours back. I did that 7 days a week just to be with her. Then she moved down to where I was and it just became toxic from there.
Let me ask you, what do you think you could have been doing with that time instead of driving?
Finding somebody else maybe. So what happened when she broke the window? So I was sitting in the car, I had her phone and I'm like, unlock your phone, unlock your phone. She wouldn't. Next thing I know it's glass that crosses my face and I look up and my window was shattered. Shattered, okay. And it still isn't fixed.
So you, and it's still not fixed. So you also believe that Lovely is cheating. I heard you just say intimacy issues. So you believe she's cheating on you? Possibly. Okay. And who do you think she's cheating with? Possibly her best friend. Okay. So y'all at home, y'all can't know, but we can all hear Lovely backstage and she clearly has something to say. So I think it's time to go ahead and meet Lovely.
So everyone please welcome Lovely to the show. Sit down.
Sit down, please. Don't upset me, 'cause I'm not gonna do this in front of them and this nice man in this suit. Don't upset me. Thank you. Okay? If we gonna come on here and we gonna talk about it, we gonna get down to it, we're gonna tell the truth today. That's it. Okay. Hey, Karamo!
How you doing, beautiful?
[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE] Hey, Karamo!
Hey, hey!
Okay, lovely. So, you know, I'm all about the truth.
We tell the truth on this show, so tell me the truth. I feel like it's a lot. First of all, I just wanna say it's easy to be seen as something but really be misunderstood. I'm very misunderstood and I felt like this forever. I tell her, you don't understand me, you don't understand me. Oh, you swear I don't understand you? But you don't.
Is that why you called off the wedding?
It was initially because we were having a conversation about something and I told her, you know, like, I know where my life is going. I want you in my life. But if you're not leading me in that direction or you're not taking that step, then maybe we should wait or something like that.
So you don't feel like you're aligned? You feel like y'all are growing different ways?
Not growing different ways because we're like this, you know? Like we have that best friend relationship.
Yeah, you can have a bond, but it sounds like to you, you just said, I stopped this wedding because I wanna do this. And you don't feel like if she can go with you, if she's pushing you, that means y'all are not aligned.
Well, it wasn't that I stopped it. The date changed, it was a mutual agreement between the both of us when the date changed. If we're gonna be together, if we're gonna be married, this is like a lifetime commitment. This is, it's not funny. This is our real life. This is serious. I want us to be on the same page when it comes to working towards what we want. Yeah, I hear you. That's what I meant by that. I understand. As far as that window, I'm gonna be very honest. I punched it, I did.
Do you think she rage baits you?
She rage baits me all the time. Yeah, I did that, and I'm gonna be very honest with you, Karamo. The situation that happened, she wasn't trying to unlock my phone. She had lost her phone. We were out somewhere, she lost her phone. So I'm telling— It got stolen and got lost, you didn't have it. I'm telling her, you know, while I'm at work, since I can't have my phone, you know, you can have my phone. I got off work, we were into it about something. As I'm walking away, she's following me in the car. She has the window up trying to talk to me, and I'm telling her to give me my phone back.
You're walking the streets at 2 o'clock in the morning?
Because I needed space, I'm not scared.
I don't care. Okay, but I care about you.
I don't want you to be hurt. Okay, so if you was concerned about me being in the streets, when I asked you for my phone back, why you didn't give it back so I could call somebody? Hey, I need help, come pick me up. You were in the car. I called your friend. You were in the car.
You were in the car. Your friend didn't care to come pick you up.
But Zay, what she's saying to you before is that you had her phone. You didn't tell us that story. You said that you were asking her to unlock, but it sounds like you had her phone all day. And then when she says, can I have my phone back 'cause we're in an argument, You told me, she told me no.
'Cause I don't, she—
Zay, you didn't share that side of the story. I don't even pay my phone bill. What happened when Zay threw you out the house?
I don't even remember what she did. I just remember all my clothes and wigs went flying. I was so upset. Why are you touching my stuff?
Love, let me ask you this. Let me ask you this. 'Cause it's the same thing that I asked Zay. If someone's throwing my clothes out the window, throwing my wigs, If someone's rage baiting me consistently, as you said, why would I not end this relationship?
We did before. But why go back? We did before, and in that time where we weren't, we, like, I didn't even want, and it wasn't even just all of this. She was also cheating. So to hear that I'm cheating with my best friend and she cheated on me, like, it was clockwork. How many?
Ask her how many times. How many times? Zay, how many times did you cheat? 3.
3? 3, girl. Oh my God, don't write that down. 3 times? There was 3. So I need to get the naming?
She said don't write that down. That's not the right number. That ain't the right number.
What's the number?
What's the number? So I need to get to talking about the times?
No, but say the numbers.
It's not no 3, it's at least 5.
So what's going on between you and your best friend then?
Nothing. Okay, so that issue with my best friend, Go ahead. I'm telling you to look at Karamo. The issue with my best friend is that, and I can understand where she coming from because there have been times where, first of all, you gonna have to tell me when my best friend was sitting on the phone and I was laying next to you and she said something about wanting to touch me, period, because that's disrespectful and I would never disrespect you like that. So for you to even come out here and utter your lips to say that, it's disrespectful.
You're being disrespectful as being her friend. You already know how I feel about her.
You have friends who pop?
Hold on, Zay. That sounds very controlling. You know how I feel about your friends, so you can't be friends with them? That's controlling. No, no, no, no, no. I know you young, but you gotta learn that. That's controlling behavior. Do you trust Zay? Yeah, I do.
Why? I feel like she has changed in a way when it comes to that. I feel like the break that we took, because during that break, I wasn't even talking to her. I'm not gonna lie.
Yeah, she hated me. Mm-hmm.
I would only talk to her when she was, if it had anything to do with the baby.
So now you feel like you can trust her 100%? I mean, yeah, I do. I saw the hesitation. So there's still a piece of you that's not sure.
I wouldn't say I'm not, I wouldn't say it's not sure. I mean, it's some things that I have questions about, but even then I ask her.
Questions about means unsure. So you're still unsure. Okay. Zay said that, there is no longer intimacy between you two. Is that true? Somewhat. Yeah? And is that because your feelings are unsure?
I don't think it has anything to do with my feelings being unsure. I think it has more so to do with, by the end of the day, I'm tired because I feel like you put so much responsibility on me and she might be doing it unknowingly. You get what I'm saying? But I be tired and I feel like even with certain things, I give her so much grace. And I don't get any grace. Mm.
Did you hear what she said? She said she feels like she gives you a lot of grace, you don't give her grace. What's your thoughts on that?
Okay, so she is working but not working. I'm working but not working as well, but I'm in school. So most of the time, bills, anything financial, it comes from me. So it's like when I'm coming home or coming off work, I be tired as well, but like I said, I be missing my family. I be wanting to go out, I be wanting to do stuff, I be wanting to be cuddled up, and she's tired, she's like, "Oh, you know, I'm tired," or, "I been dealing with Ava all day," whatever. But I still be like, "What about me?
You're still leaving me out." Okay, but what about me? I would have Ava when she came home from daycare.
Ava's the daughter, your daughter that you raised together?
Yes. Okay. I'm bathing her, doing her homework. Look at my poo-poo, look at her.
Okay, so I see you get emotional. So is this part of what's keeping you in the relationship as well 'cause you love this child?
I don't feel like it's keeping me in a relationship, but I really do love them. And it's like, I love my little family. I like them.
So what happens if this relationship ends? I don't know. You don't know?
Here, can you get this to me? Because I really do, I really do love her and it's like, Look at her, little turkey. Yeah.
My baby made that, y'all. So we're here to unlock phones because you have questions about what she's doing with her best friend. And you, we established, are unsure. So I think it's time to unlock the phone. All right, Zay, we unlocked your phone. Actually, we did not. Zay refused to unlock her phone. So Zay, why would you refuse to unlock your phone? I don't have nothing in my phone to unlock. So if you don't have anything in your phone to unlock, that is literally the reason to get locked.
Why you wouldn't unlock your phone? I don't have nothing in my iPhone. You can throw my phone, honey. I'm gonna give it to you if I don't have nothing in my phone.
Because especially when there's been a history of cheating 3 to 5 times, when there has been a history of you saying that you feel like your needs are not being met, you said there's a lack of intimacy. All these things are gonna inform me to say, well, if I'm not getting this at home, I'm gonna get it somewhere else because you've had a pattern of it and you also said that you're unhappy in your house. So the reason this segment is created is— She said that. Yeah, she did. Is because the fault is, yeah, you need to hear it.
You said you wasn't happy? At times.
Like when you're acting like that, like yes, I am.
What am I acting like?
Angry, aggressive, like you don't want us to be there.
I'm like, what you, what I, and I feel like this is going over your head.
I've said, we've literally had a conversation about that prior to this.
All right, here we go this, 'cause we didn't get anything from you, but Lovely, we also unlocked your phone. Zay, you wanna know if Lovely is direct messaging other women. Lovely says she is not. My locked phone investigator searched Lovely's DMs and found that Lovely, are you ready to unlock your best self? Key is my new wellness app made for you. Fitness, nutrition, meditation, sobriety, better relationships, self-love. 6 keys, 1 app. Change starts today. It's telling the truth. Zay, you wanna know if Lovely has any hidden dating apps on her phone. Lovely says she does not. My Lock the Phone investigator searched Lovely's apps and phone and found that Lovely Is telling the truth. Zay, you wanna know if Lovely is sexting with two specific females. I know you lying.
Correct? I'm sorry, hold on.
Lovely says she is not. My unlock the phone investigator searched Lovely's texts and found that Lovely is telling the truth. So I wanna let you know that we also did dig very deeply between the messages between her and her best friend, both in her phone and the ones that were deleted. And my investigator discovered that in those texts, there is nothing sexual. They only express sisterly love. And she also, it's true, she does not try to ever, so happy Turkey Day, sister, very thankful for you and how much I love you. Everything was like this. Hey sis, what kind of dog am I? Yeah, everything is that. If her friend ever does say something, her first response is to shut it down. Literally.
Okay, that's all I wanted to know.
See, Karamo, but see, no, because— No, hold on, hold on, hold on a second, Lovely. Because you said right now, "That's all I need to know." There's an emotional manipulation there because you're talking about, "Oh, well, you gave me transparency, you gave me what I wanted, but I'm not gonna give you what you need." And this is almost symptomatic to what she's saying to you before. She's telling you, You're asking me about your needs, but you're not listening to my needs. And so I've just seen it displayed here. So I understand what the communication's breaking down is because there's a bit of you right now, and this is something that you're young. What are you, 23, 24? 24.
Halfway to 50. She's 25. Okay, so you 25.
You 25. So I understand being that age, but there's a bit of selfishness that comes with that. And I think that you don't understand that right now you're in a selfish era. Where you're like, what about me? Do for me. And we've seen it not only displayed in behavior, but also on this stage. You see what I'm saying to you? So when I said earlier to Lovely, y'all are not aligned, I mean it. Y'all are not aligned. And I think that when you all broke up, it was probably a time for y'all to both do some work on your own. You have some growing, Lovely, in the sense of figuring out exactly what it is you need from a partner. And you're in an era right now where as a parent, a young parent, that takes away a lot of your freedom. And I know there's a small part of you that wants still that freedom, wants to figure out how do I be young? How do I do these things? You just said it, I get off of work and I wanna go out, I wanna see my family. So instead of focusing your energy on a relationship, that's the time where you should say, I'm focusing on my kid and I get to also focus on me. Can we see that window picture again please? 'Cause that's not the only thing broken in this relationship.
You ate that, you ate that, you ate that.
You ate that. 'Cause the only thing y'all need to do, the choice is either choose peace or choose to be in pieces. So what I'm gonna encourage y'all to do off the stage, because I know y'all not breaking up here on this stage. So what I would tell you both to do is do some work on your own. But if you don't do the work, y'all got about another 6 months before this end. And unfortunately, the pattern y'all going on, it's gonna end big. And then y'all gonna have one of them stories that when you 40, you gonna be like, "Ooh, you remember that girl I was dating when I was in my 20s? Oh, she was crazy." Listen, we all got 'em. So go ahead and do the work on yourselves, please. All right? On my show, I unlock phones. And now I wanna unlock your best self. You need someone to talk to who will listen and give real advice with no judgment. That's what Karamo AI does. Text me, call me, download Key, and let's start talking and growing.
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