Karamo mediates between Olivia and Jaylin, who demands her phone password and accuses her of cheating. Karamo identifies Jaylin's controlling behavior as stemming from abandonment issues, explaining how demanding phone access, accusations, and pressure for immediate responses trigger anxiety in both partners and repeat a pattern of using past trauma to manipulate.
Chapters
Jaylin has requested that we unlock Olivia's phone. Olivia agreed to unlock her phone, but we have a video.
You really had me out here thinking I was unloyal, untrustworthy, playing with you, like I was always doing something behind your back. Are you crazy that you would let go of our relationship like that? Someone who would never cheat on you, but somehow I let you make me question myself? But guess what? She's back. This is what you wanted. So let me reintroduce myself to you because the old Olivia, she's gone. I'm independent, strong, and I'm happier than ever now.
Okay. So we didn't unlock her phone. "We didn't unlock her phone because you guys are on a break and not in a relationship and she doesn't really owe you anything right now." And after that explanation, what do you wanna say to him?
"You wanna put us on a break, I just feel like we should break up." Like since being like able to enjoy this 2 like months and just like not have to worry and like feel like I'm stepping on eggshells, So you don't wanna fight for us at all?
I gotta step in here because I think all of us here, and this is not to call you a bad person, yes, you have your abandonment issues, but those are coming out in a very negative way. Like it's coming out of you projecting and of also controlling. Can you see that at all? I feel like I was just doing it more outta love than anything else. Yeah, and sometimes that's where things can get tricky, especially with young love or even older love. You think that your actions are actually telling her like, "Oh, I love you, I care for you," but they actually become, you're projecting your own behavior from your past onto her. Because I asked you clearly several times, "Has she ever done anything to you to make you think she was cheating?" Your words, "No." You even told me about the one time you were suspicious. You said she handed over her phone to you. So again, there wasn't a fight to say, "No, I'm going to hide from you. I'm not gonna show you." Also, what I thought was very interesting is that every single time you had an issue with her calling or not communicating with you the amount that you wanted, she still was communicating with you. Even in that text we just saw, you're saying, "Why are you not picking up?" And she's saying, "I'm with my friend." And you're saying, "I want you now." And she's saying, "But I'm communicating with you. You don't see that?" I see it now. That behavior is controlling behavior. That's part of your insecurities that were triggered by your abandonment, But the thing you need to learn as a young man is that you don't have the right to use your abandonment to then trigger somebody else and make them feel insecure about themselves. Olivia, when did you realize you didn't wanna be with him anymore?
Like he said, like I've stopped texting more because I was like, we're on a break. Like let me see like how it feels to actually like be broken up. Like I was developing so much anxiety when I would go out.
Makes sense. Makes sense. Did you hear that? Because of the fact that you felt insecure, you were starting to cause someone else to feel anxiety. Is that what you want for a woman that you love? No. I believe that about you.
