Your Girlfriend Ruined Our Relationship! | KARAMO

My guest Lynn feels like she's losing her son and is here for my help. So everyone please welcome Lynn to the show so we can hear what's going on. Hi Lynn. How are you doing?

I'm great, how are you?

Nice to meet you, may I have a hug?

Absolutely, cousin.

Nice to meet you. Take a seat for me. Thank you for being here. So how was your relationship with Xavier growing up?

Well, I had him very young and— Okay. 15 to be exact.

Yeah.

I'm already getting worked up. There's about 7 years between Xavier and my next son. So we spent a lot of time growing up together.

Mm-hmm. So when did you, the relationship start to change in your opinion?

Well, basically when he met Eveline.

Okay.

Or the little succubus, as I call her.

Is her name really Eveline?

No, it's—

Oh, okay. I just gotta check, you know, I don't know. You said Eveline, it sound like it could be. It's Mr. Pearl. Okay. That's what I call her. Okay, that's what you call her?

Absolutely, she manipulated her way into his life. He had a promising career in the Navy, he was doing so well, and once he met her, it just totally changed everything in our relationship.

Got it.

He started hiding things and lying to me, which is something that we didn't do. I kept trying, you know, why my baby ain't call me today? Let me call and see what's wrong with him, or, you know, to check on him. And no, there's no answer, or he didn't return my call. And that's definitely something that didn't happen, 'cause if I called him and he missed the call, he had to be doing something for his job or away from the phone.

'Cause he would always call you back.

Always call me back.

You told my producers that you believe Pearl put voodoo on Xavier. Is that true?

He completely changed. This guy graduated with honors from high school.

Yeah.

He went straight into the Navy. So he's very smart. And after maybe, I wanna say about a year of being with her, it just seemed like he just, started using heroin or something.

He duh, duh, duh, duh, duh.

You call him, you can't get a complete sentence out of him. When I saw him, he came home once during that time and he didn't look the same. His whole demeanor has changed. It's like the glow left him.

Got it.

And it just really broke my heart.

Got it. So, but I know that you just said that about heroin. Is there substance abuse issues or is that just like—

I believe there is. There could be. 'Cause once I saw the documents from the court papers that there was drugs involved. So I do believe that there's an issue.

So when did your tension with Pearl start?

Well, when they got together, I didn't know that she was even pregnant until she was about 6 months. And they sent the child to me. And the baby was over a year and couldn't communicate. Didn't know what a hug was, love, come here, those things that babies naturally pick up and should already know, he didn't know. So my first instinct was to call her and say, hey, you need to spend more time with this baby because he He doesn't know how to communicate with people. Well, she told me, I took a class and I didn't know how. You took a class? Seriously? Who takes a class to learn how to be a mother?

A baby class ain't bad. You know, if you need some little extra assistance.

A 3-month class ain't gonna make you nobody, mama.

I know, but it give you some tools that you might not have had.

Well, she didn't use them.

Well, that's a different story. That's a different story because if she didn't have the instinct and she also didn't use the tools, I could understand why as a grandmother you like, something's not working here.

Something ain't connecting, exactly.

Okay, and so they lost custody of their kids. Yes, they did. On more than one occasion.

Actually.

Okay, so when they lost their children, you got custody of the kids?

Absolutely.

And how long did you have custody of the kids for?

Well, the first time I had 'em about a year. Then she tricked the system and came and got 'em back.

Okay.

And then the system called me to come and get 'em back. And after that I had 'em for 5 years.

5 years, okay. I mean, I want to hear his side of the story and talk to him and figure it out. But this is telling if they are removing the kids from the house and giving them to you for 5 years. That's an extended amount of time to say live with the grandmother, which means that an investigation was going on for that time period when they could feel like maybe the home was stable enough for the kids to go back. Where are the kids now?

She just recently last month got custody of them again.

So just last month, okay.

Just last month.

So during that time, would Pearl harass you?

Absolutely.

So even though you're raising her children, she would harass you?

This girl said she was not going to send child support for her children because she said She sent me $120 one time about 4 years ago and I said I didn't get it. And that was my argument with her. And she said, "You know what, I'm lying and I'm this and I'm that," kind of BS and just really just went from there.

Is it true that you had to mace her?

Absolutely.

Twice? Why did you have to mace her? What happened?

Well, the first time, I didn't even know that she had moved to my town and she came up to my vehicle while I was parked. This before the kids? No, I had the kids during this time.

During this time.

They were at school.

Yeah.

So when she walked up on the truck, I just got out the truck and went to her vehicle to tell her, don't approach me like that. And she went to kicking and wailing and flailing out the window. And then here she comes with a thing of mace. I said, you ain't the only one that got mace. I went and got my mace. And I don't know if she planned to use hers, but when I draw my weapon, I use it.

Oh, got it. Did you ever feel unappreciated or taken for granted during this time?

That is an understatement. They never said, thank you, Mom, for taking our kids, or thank you for saving them from the system.

What do you need him to do in order to repair this relationship?

Cousin, I need him to tell me I'm gonna tell her that that's my mom, you're gonna respect her, and I wanna have a relationship with her because I really miss my son. I basically built a memorial.

You built a memorial?

In my dining room, and it's all set up like with candles, like—

As if he had passed?

It's a memorial, 'cause I, a year and a half that I haven't spoken with my son.

A year and a half.

So when you see him today, this is gonna be the first time in a year and a half y'all have talked? Yes, sir. Go ahead. Well, listen everyone, Pearl wasn't able to be here today in person, but wanted us to hear her side of the story, so Everyone, take a look at this.

Xavier's mother is destroying my relationship with Xavier. I don't even like saying its name. Like, I don't intend on spending a lot of time talking about this imbecile because queens don't even spend that much time on peasants. It owes me a sincere apology for the things it has done over the past 5 to 6 years. The individual at issue has put her hands on me, has maced me twice.

And I do it again. Let's go, let's go, let's go.

Do it.

Let's go, let's go. Yeah, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go. Okay. Yeah, let's do it. Let's do this.

She has told me to kill myself on Facebook. She has outed my personal business. It even came to my residence and posted a big-ass poster board of lies she wrote about me in her ugly-ass handwriting. It has poisoned my children's minds so much that they were calling me Mr. Pearl, Mr. Pearl. I can't wait for her to go back to jail soon and stay there next time around. I don't want it. In my children's lives for at least the next 4 to 5 years. Hopefully never ever again.

Well, she ain't been in her children's lives for 4 or 5 years. All the opportunities that I gave her to come and be with her children. And see, this is the type of stuff I had to deal with. Not a thank you. I never called her out of her name without it being a response to something that she said. I'm not the type of person to go— I don't have time for that type of stuff. I called her January of 2024 and said, let's let bygones be bygones, all the name-calling, everything. This is for the kids. "Fuck, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah." And it just, and all this.

All right, well, Lynna, I think it's time for you to see your son. So everyone, please welcome Xavier to the show. Are you ready to unlock your best self? Key is my new wellness app made for you. Fitness, nutrition, meditation, sobriety, better relationships, self-love. 6 keys, 1 app. Change starts today.

I love you.

I love you too, Mom. Hey Xavier, how you doing?

Thank you for having me. Thank you for being here.

So what do you have to say about what your mom has said?

That's just one side of the narrative. I mean, I have my own. Growing up, we had good times, like great times. When it was good, it was great, you know? There was some bad times as well. I mean, that's life.

Why did you cut contact with your mom though?

When I realized that I couldn't play the peacekeeper. I couldn't support one side and then the other side feel like, "Oh, you against me now." So he supported her side and turned everything against me. You come at me talking about, "Oh, I don't like how she did this," and then she coming at me talking about, what do I do? What do I do? I mean, all I can do is I love you, I love you, I wish I would stop fighting.

That's— Did you know that she called in January 2024 and said, "Let's bygones be bygones"?

No, I had no knowledge.

Okay.

It's too late. It's too late. I said, "It's too late for your kids." She called me all kind of names and hung up the phone. Mind you, I'm thinking that she gonna talk to me with some sense. So she was on speakerphone and her kids heard her doing all that yelling and cursing and stuff and they thought she was talking to them. So she needs to check herself.

Do you think your mom is making you choose between her and Pearl?

I don't think she's making me choose, but—

That's how you feel?

My thing is, I feel like my mom said, my mom is so against Pearl that it just put me in the same boat. It's like, okay, if that's where you gonna be.

And honestly, she's against me 'cause I don't remember ever doing anything to cause her to talk to me the way she does, to send those messages that she sends me, to call me out my name. And I've been raising you guys' kids for 5 years. Never a thank you, never hear something. She didn't even send them kids a piece of damn bubble gum.

The funny part is that she's asking for an apology and I have to tell you, clearly you do not need to give her an apology.

Thank you. Thank you.

And I wanna be very clear about that. And Xavier, there's some things that I think that as a young man you have to understand. First of all, you have to understand that that behavior, especially when, and this is from me being professional now, when your child's mother, the girl you're with, are you two still together?

It's complicated.

It's okay.

Very.

I can tell it seems like it's complicated all the way around. But what I'll tell you right now is that for her to be in a place where she loses custody of her children.

Twice.

The fact that your mother has stepped in to protect your children, that is, I don't know if you've ever seen children who go into the system and what could happen potentially. Right. But for children to be placed with a family member where at least You can have, still have access. Everyone knows the children are safe. That is big. And the fact that she did it not once but twice and for an extended period of time, it wasn't like she did it for 6 months. That's 5 years of your children's life that you as a father were able to say, my children were safe. I know where they're at. There is no reason for Pearl to be treating the woman who saved her children, saved your children that way. There's no other way. What I just witnessed was a Young arrogance. An arrogance of a young woman who's in her feelings, who has dealing with her own issues, and it's easy to use you as a target than face what she's going through. Your mother made a claim earlier that there was substance abuse issues with Pearl. Is there substance abuse issues with you as well? Was there?

There was.

There was?

Yeah, 'cause I did have a dark, you know what I'm saying? A dark time in my life where, you know, I felt estranged from everybody. I mean, I'm out here in the world on my own, doing it on my own. I mean, I ended up in the wrong places Wrong crowd, wrong time, man. I mean, you know, I just thank God that I come outta that, you know?

[Speaker:KARAMO] Yeah, and I'm glad you did as well. Well, what I'll tell you this is that while you were going through that dark period, your mother picked up the slack for you. And I think that is something important for you to realize and understand that when you do this, it's disrespectful to your mom to say like, when I was in a dark place, she could let your whole world crumble. So when you see this young woman cussing at her and treating her like that, you gotta set clearer boundaries. Boundaries. It's important for you as a man to set clear boundaries, right? Because I do believe, I know, I see your mother got a mouth too. We ain't not gonna play, okay? I got the same mouth. But what I do believe is that if you set a boundary with her and said, hey, I need this to stop, I believe out of the goodness of wanting your children to be healthy, she's gonna do it. I believe she's gonna respect the boundary.

Absolutely, absolutely.

But outside of that, the second thing you must do do, and this was clear to me very quickly, is that you have to open up. Whatever you're holding onto is destroying you from the inside out. Right. And I believe you haven't truly still to this point faced it. And so you tried to do what most men do, was be perfect. I'm gonna try to handle it all. I'm gonna show you that I'm gonna get through school. I'm gonna be in the Navy. I'm gonna show you all these things. But what you kept doing is you put achievements on top of trauma and try to push it down. And trauma will always come up, Pastor. Achievements. So can you find the courage to talk to your mother?

Most definitely. I mean, I would love, you know, for us to rekindle.

Say, Mom, I'm going to find the courage.

Mom, I'm gonna find the courage.

To open up to you.

To open up to you.

About what's hurting me.

About what's hurting me.

And Mom, when I do, "And Mom, when I do?" "I need you to respond." "I need you to respond." Now tell her how you need her to respond.

"I need you to respond with compassion and love.

You know, I want us to be friends, Mom." So what you just did, I wanna tell you, is you took a step of setting a boundary. I'm trying to teach it to you in real time so that way when you walk off the stage, you'll understand that your voice and your boundaries are equally as important. I'm proud of you for doing that. It was amazing stuff. Now, Mom, can you commit that when he opens up, you ain't gonna say nothing?

Give me some duct tape. No, but seriously, yes, sir. I would really like to know and figure out, you know, where the disconnect came in.

And if I had something to say, She's met it. And so now if she doesn't, you can say, "Mom, I asked you, you committed, you've broken our boundary." And so you can model that with her. So when Pearl comes in the picture, you say, "Hey Pearl, I've talked to my mother, I've given her these 3 boundaries. She's not gonna disrespect you, she's not gonna do this, and you can't either." I promise you this is gonna help you grow as a man and start to heal, and it will bring your family back together. You deserve peace, okay? Karamo. Thank you both for being here. I really appreciate it. I appreciate you sharing your story. I wish you all the best of luck. I wish you both the best of luck together. On my show, I unlock phones, and now I wanna unlock your best self. You need someone to talk to who will listen and give real advice with no judgment. That's what Karamo AI does. Text me, call me, download Key, and let's start talking and growing. [MUSIC] [MUSIC]