56 - DO YOU KNOW THAT ADDICTIONS CAN ALSO CAUSE TRAUMA?

We know that trauma can cause addiction, but have you ever thought that addiction can cause trauma? Hi, I'm Dr. Carol Darza, author, psychologist and founder of Reconnect Trauma Treatment center in Los Angeles. I'd like to start today's video with a quote by one of my favorite authors and therapist, Gabor Mate. He says, not all addictions are rooted in abuse or trauma, but I do believe they can all be traced to painful experience. A hurt is at the center of all addictive behaviors. It is present in the gambler, the Internet addict, the compulsive shopper and the workaholic. The wound may not be as deep and the ache not as excruciating. And it may not even be entirely hidden, but it's there. And that's why I wanted to start my point by saying we know that the cause of addiction is an unresolved trauma or unresolved pain. But we haven't really looked at how addiction, the behavior itself, can actually cause trauma in individuals, well, in families as well. So let's go through some, a list of what possible things can actually cause the trauma when a person displays addiction. And I'm especially talking about substance abuse addiction. But a lot of it can also be really applied for gambling and sex and food addiction in terms of trauma. Well, I see addiction as a form of self abuse. And if you have read my book the Trauma Map, you'll see that I often talk about how people who are abused tend to abuse themselves. And because that's how they were raised, that is how they were able to really deal with their feelings. So an addict can also abuse someone else. Right. That's unfortunately one of the, I want to say the side effects or the trauma causing situation where person under the influence, again especially of a substance abuse, can be violent, incoherent, aggressive, and can inflict abuse on others. This was seen especially a lot in families. If you grew up with addict parents, you might be able to really relate to what I'm saying. And this is a very important point for us to point out. Unfortunately, addiction can also cause deaths. I work with a lot of clients who are in recovery and probably almost all of them have experienced some form of loss of a friend or loved one to addiction. So they often in fact are witnessing people dying or they have heard of recent loved ones, you know, losing them to death. So that's another trauma for people. A lot of users also witness overdose and saving each other, or they end up in the hospital trying to help to save their friends who were using at the same Time and then the guilt and the trauma that comes afterwards is actually a tremendously painful experience for them. Addiction can cause car accidents, right? So unfortunately, this is a very well known fact that people using drugs or alcohol and then driving under the influence has caused many, many car accidents that, you know, that caused deaths or unfortunately, situations where people stayed as handicapped people. I have a few years ago, I worked with a client who under the influence had a car accident and lost both of her legs. And as you can imagine, this was really a very painful wake up call for her. And she did stay somewhere after that. I guess that was the benefit for her. However, her life changed forever after that accident. So let's talk a little bit about parents being addicts and the damage that they cause to their children. So we talked about the abuse, right? The abuse can be in the form of physical abuse, sexual abuse and verbal abuse. But then often it also could be neglected. Actually, research shows that neglect is even more damaging for children in terms of traumatic experiencing than often of physical or sexual abuse. Parents who are using, who are physically absent or emotionally absent or really being sort of ill, and children taking care of them for years and watching their parents use and just really be in situations that are scary for them can cause years, years of emotional damage to these kids. Another thing is addict parents also become role models to their kids. So there's a high chance that if your parents were using, you might be a user yourself. It's very much transferred from generation to generation. And in the case of some other people I have experience, children actually were given drugs by the parents themselves because they are using. They make it almost like a normal thing. So even if they don't, you know, in some instances, actually they gave the kids drugs themselves or in some other ones, they're just the drugs were so available and they were so out that the children had an access. It's not so different than gun access. Right? So the danger of children really being exposed to something that's so detrimental for them. So addiction can cause medical illness, right? So it could create a cancer, it could create a lot of other illness, really damage to liver and other organs. And then so the person now dealing, not only they're dealing with the addiction, but now they have to heal from the medical illness. They can unfortunately become handicapped. Right. Like again, the example that I gave earlier, or sometimes excessive use, or even excessive use of food, addiction to food can cause a lot of health problems. So. And then medical illness, as we know, constitute as trauma as well. So here's an interesting one. That you might not have thought of it, but trauma of being in and out of hospitals and treatment centers and rehabs. I have worked in my trauma treatment center with individuals that have been chronic relapses, which means they were trying to be sober and then they would use again and sober again and use again. And so they ended up being being in different treatment centers and working with professionals year after year. And then they find themselves really traumatized because of that. So they have, you know, their self esteem has been greatly impacted because they are, you can see they're trying to stay sober, but then being, you know, relapsing again and then seeing that they were not able to stay sober, it causes a secondary issue of really low self esteem, sometimes self hatred, shame. So maybe in this situation it's not causing trauma per se, but it's really caused severe mental illness. So it even goes hand in hand with depression. Right? Depression can cause addiction, but addiction can cause depression. So it's very much interrelated and very important to really target both topics at the same time. I want to mention at reconnect, even though we are trauma treatment specialists, we do help people who have addiction as part of their struggles. We don't help them to get sober, but if they're willing to be sober, or they just got sober and they're trying to stay sober, which means they have to now work on their emotional well being, we can help them. So in the old times, people saw the addiction field as more like, okay, here are the tools. This is what you do, you stay sober, here are the steps, you go to meetings, and that's it. But now the field of addiction and mental health really merged much more. And professionals and even the general public have a more understanding that you can't only treat the substance abuse independent from your trauma or your mental health, but that you have to really treat them together coherently. It's definitely worth mentioning that addiction can actually destroy families. I have seen over and over again thousands of examples of substance abuse and also gambling addiction really breaking families apart. So it's very unfortunate to see. But if one of the spouses using and then, you know, and the other spouse is living with the user spouse for years, they try to get them stay sober, make them really present, but they fail year after year, the person has to be very motivated themselves to stay sober. So we have seen families break apart that way. And actually sometimes that is how the user decides to stay sober or get treatment really, because addiction is such a disease, it's not because that person is Weak or they don't want to, but they might not have the right tools and the support system. So going into treatment can help actually to put, to bring the families back together. Right. So we can also see that for instance the gambling addiction as I was mentioning, I've met families who literally in one day, the person who was gambling, losing everything that they had, and then the next day the families were homeless. So it can destroy families. This disease is a very serious disease. And it's important to understand that the trauma that it caused, not only to the addict, him or herself, but really to the people around them, like the immediate family. So when we do treatment, we don't only actually work with the person who has the addiction, but with really the whole family as a system. And my last point is the importance of actually having compassion for the person who has addiction. Compassion is always my most important message to you guys, especially with addiction. So the person has to have compassion for themselves. You have to have compassion for the person dealing with this disease. But look for a professional help. If it's really gotten out of hands and it's affecting your life or your loved ones, lives, you might not be able to, you know, do something on your own. Go to meetings, go seek professional help, go to rehabs, call your doctor, reach out and you'll definitely find a way to overcome. A lot of people have and so can you. I want to thank you for watching and I want to remind you again about our resources at Reconnect Treatment Center. We have our affordable program, we're in network with some insurances and so call us and we can help you deal with your addiction and your trauma. And remember, trauma equals disconnect. Healing equals reconnect. Stay connected.