Give Hope Episode #145 of The Sacred Writing Podcast

Welcome. Welcome, my friends, to Amplify the podcast, a podcast by Freedom House Publishing Company. I'm your host, Kyra Poulson, and I am so excited to share with you one of our newest authors who had just became published with Freedom House and her journey, her story, it's extraordinary. She's also one of my dear friends. I feel so lucky to be be her publisher. But before we jump in, before we jump into her amazing and powerful story and this book that she has just birthed into the world, I want to share with each one of you the newest option, the newest leg of Freedom House. This is one of the greatest experiences of being an entrepreneur, is that we get to create whenever we see a need. And I saw a need. And I am so excited to share what I have created. And the need I saw was that there's not a huge space of support for men who want to learn how to channel powerful books, who want to bring these really powerful, sourced messages into the world through a published book. There's not a lot of support in that arena. And so I am happy to say that Freedom House has just launched a brand new mastermind for men is Awakening Authors. The Mastermind for Men. This is a space where you get to coach with me in this group of men who have the same desire to really change the world through powerful messages. And I teach every single week in this mastermind how to channel your book, how to take your book, put it into courses, how to create your messages so that they can go out as an empire of light, a business that is going to go transform humanity. And then because you're in the Mastermind, you get to have your book published for the price of the Mastermind, which means it's pretty much it's covered in the cost, which is, in a way, free. It's a bonus. It's a bonus for being in the Mastermind, you get to be a published author of Freedom House. I love my masterminds. I've been running masterminds for years. This is the very first mastermind I'm opening for men. And I'm so excited. So the link will be in the show notes to check it out. To apply to be in this mastermind, I'm holding open only 10 spots in this mastermind. So if you're a man and you're listening and your heart says yes, then go, go apply. Let's chat, let's see if it's a good fit for you. I would love to help you channel your book and bring it to the world in the form of a published book that gets to stay here forever. This is so much fun. So that's what's going on over here at Freedom House. I'm so excited. I'd love to introduce to you this extraordinary woman. I feel so lucky. I met her years ago when we lived in Arizona, and our friendship has continued over the years. Jen Larson, thank you so much for being on the show today.

Yes, thank you. Thank you for having me. It's a pleasure.

Why don't we jump in and you just share with our authors who you are? What do you do in this world?

Yes. I'm Jen Larson, and I am a certified, certified life coach through the Life Coach School. And I specifically work with women that have lost children. That is where my passion is. I'm a mother of eight, and I have two angel daughters, one of them that passed away at two and a half. And that was 13 years ago. And that kind of set me up on this path of really wanting to help moms that have lost children know that there is peace amongst the storm that we have in life. And then last year, I lost our second daughter. She was 18. And so I am about almost a year and a half into that. So I have been going through that grief journey, and that has just driven me even more powerful to reach out and really help women. But I also want to help families because I believe when you help the mothers, it infiltrates down to the children and it infiltrates into your husband. And then they can take these tools that I teach you to deal with grief and to be able to have peace and happiness in your life, and that can affect generations. So not only do I work with mothers that have lost children, but I also love to work with anyone that has lost a close friend, family member, or a close friend. So immediate family members. So like a husband, a brother, a sister, stuff like that. Yeah.

Jen, you are so strong. I'm obviously if I can get through this episode without just crying the whole time, but I just see you as such a beacon of light. You have so much strength. To lose two children is unspeakable, really. It's like how to move through it. And not only have you learned how to move through it powerfully, you are here now to be a force for others. And this is. This is a space where there's not a lot of support. There's just not.

There isn't. There's not a grief is something that people keep close to their heart and don't speak it because there's a lot of judgments around it of how you move through grief. And so we need more people speaking about it and teaching us how we move through it.

Yeah. Oh, I just honor you. I honor you for the warrior spirit that you have and the love you have. So much love just looking at you. You just have love that just radiates your whole being. So I want to, I would love to bring to the table this book that you just published.

Yes, my journal.

Tell us a name. Tell us the name.

Okay. It's called Give Hope and it's a grieving journal. And the reason why it is titled Give Hope is because my second daughter Kylie, who passed away in her funeral, we had one of our best friends speak and we wanted him to speak on hope. And he had said in his talk, what if we started a hashtag, give hope? What if we share hope with the world? We take that from today, moving forward and share hope. And that just hit me right in the chest, right in my heart. And that is what Kylie did. Those were the messages that were coming through from so many people that week of her funeral, of the hope that she gave them in their lives, how she changed them, how powerful she was, her spirit was and how loved she was. And so from that time forward, anytime I would post on social media or talk with anyone or other grieving families, we would talk about the hope that there is even in death. And so that is how that title came to be.

Wow. Oh, I love it. Hope is a big place in my heart and I want, I would love for you to tell our listeners what, what is in this journal that you know is going to support them wherever they are with grief. What is, what were the inspirations and what were the pieces? Because I watched you bring this together and I watched the pieces come together. So why don't you share a little bit about. This isn't just a book with note pages like, tell us what's inside this book.

Okay. I will actually tell you kind of how it even came. So being in the middle of my grief, it was actually January of this year and my daughter's one year anniversary was coming up and I was stuck in my grief. It was just more than I could handle. But I had been journaling the whole time. I've journaled, I've lost a dad when I was 13. Started journaling then and it was huge for me in, in healing. And then when my second one, my first daughter, died, I started. I journaled her journey. And then I would go back and read pages and get strength from it. So when Kylie Died. I, of course, was journaling, but I was feeling really stuck. And one night I had this dream, and I saw this journal that had sections in it, and it had little prompts in it, and it had little letters. My letters in it. And it was organized, and it just hit me like, this is what we need in the world. So this journal was very inspired, and I believe that Kylie was a big part of it. Said, mom, you got to get this out there. So this journal isn't just, you know, like you said, just plain paper for you just to try and write. It's got little prompts sprinkled throughout it that you can use to kind of get your mind going and start writing. Because sometimes it's not always easy to know what you want to write. It's got sections in it. So it's like. It has, like, a milestone section, and it's got a little letter. Like a little love letter from me to you that explains why this section is so important in there. And then that's where you can record milestones that happen along the journey in grief. So, like birthdays, and I call them the angel bursary. You know, times like that that you can record that as you recollect these memories, you can go back and you know exactly where they're at. Because that was my biggest problem, is I would go recollect things. I'd want to know what I read. So then I'd start flipping through all these pages, and I didn't remember what month it was in, where it was at in these journals. And sometimes I couldn't even find them. And so I wanted something that was organized that you could go, oh, that's a memory. I'll go to the memory section. I can find it. And then you can draw from your own strength of what you were going through at that time to keep you going, to keep giving you hope.

Yeah, I think that when you shared that idea with me, it was like this. This is what needs to be done. Because it's exactly what you say. We write things down, and then we think, oh, my gosh, where was that at? You don't have an hour to reread. Plus, sometimes it's really intense to reread through a ton of journal sections to try and find the one you're remembering. So I love how you've organized this journal so that one you give prompts, which I think is really important, because a lot of times people who are struggling in grief, they don't even know where to begin. And so you give them like, hey, here's like, a nugget. So you're, like, supporting them there, but then you're also helping them organize these entries so that they can go back when they get that. I'm sure you. I feel like we need to come up with a name like. Like, it's like an angel tap. Right. Like, where you feel your loved one tap you on the heart with, like, hey, go remember this, and you'll be able to find it as the. The author of this journal. Everybody's like, the author of their journal. They can go find it. So I love what an inspired creation that you brought through.

Yes. These are sacred memories, because they're your memories and your moments and your experiences.

Yeah.

In this life. And those are very, very sacred to you. Yeah.

So I feel like our listeners probably want to go into your journey a little bit. Would you be willing to share whatever feels inspired for you of what it's been like to walk through grief and whatever you feel inspired to share about your journey?

Okay. Yeah, absolutely. And like I said this, I feel like grief has been actually a big part of my life. You know, it started back when. Let's see, I was about 7 when my dad first got sick, and he had brain cancer. And so I watched him for six years suffer. And my hero passed away when I was 13. And that wasn't my first experience with grief either. I mean, we had my. My grandma six months before that pass away, then my grandpa three months after that, and then my dad passed away three months after that. So in the span of, like, nine months, lost really influential people in my life. And. And like I said, that's why I just dove into journaling, because I didn't know how to process the emotions of grief. Especially as a young kid, I felt really alone. Honestly, I don't remember anyone asking me how I felt about the loss of my dad. It was really. From a kid's perspective. It seemed more focused on my mom, and I don't remember my sister and I getting asked very often. And I remember praying really hard, like, let that be the one big, hard experience of my life. But even then, I knew there was going to be more hard things. And so when my daughter Camber passed away in 2008, that nearly killed me because I was really naive. I just thought, you have kids and you die before them. That's just the natural order of things. Right. Anyone older than a kid, they could pass at any time. And so that just really threw me through a loop that a child could lose their life and so it was really dark, and it was really lonely. And losing a child was way different than losing a parent for me because it rocks the whole entire family. This is someone that I carried within me for nine months. This is a daughter that I served every single day. And so, literally, I felt like a part of me went with her that day. And my. My heart and my testimony of everything that I believe to be true of God in Jesus and. And in my beliefs, in my church just shattered. I felt like it was just like shattered glass all over on the floor. And I was supposed to pick up these pieces piece by piece and try to patch this heart back together. And some days I could pick up a piece and I could look at it and say, look, okay, I believe you today. I believe this. And then put it to my heart. And some days I would pick up pieces, and then I would take it and I would throw it on the ground. I don't believe you today. This is not where I'm at. And so I moved through all the emotions in grief, like anyone will. And there's a belief that grief is very, like, linear. There's a start and there's an end. And you go through all these stages in a. In a line. And I learned really quickly that it's not like that at all. It's really, really messy. I feel like it's the ultimate human experience, because you feel every single, I think, human emotion possible as you're going through grief, and you move in and out of them very quickly, at times, fairly slowly at times. We were also told. My husband and I went into therapy right away, and we were told that we needed to make sure we were communicating because we're going to go through grief different. They said 80% of marriages struggle or break apart after the death of one child. We decided that wasn't going to be us. But it was a fight sometimes, because sometimes you just hold it close to your heart and keep it in. But that creates more distance and can create more misery. So I'll be honest, it took me about five years to pull out of that one. Kind of get out of the fog.

Yeah.

And realize that there could be joy again. I don't want joy, honestly, for a long time because I really thought the longer I suffered, that meant the more I loved her.

Yeah.

And someone said, are you sure you believe that that's the way it is? And I said, no, actually. So now I try to live my daughter's legacy, and I want people that, as they meet me, they will know them because of the way I choose to live my life, I want to share their light with the world, which is why I got into life coaching, is to share their light with the world, share hope that you can move through these emotions of grief and have all of them. And that is human and it's normal and it is okay. You have to feel them to move through them.

Yeah.

And you're not. There's nothing wrong with you. And don't let anyone tell you that there is. So same thing with Kylie. That was an unexpected death also. And everything came crashing down again because that was the one thing I told Heavenly Father, I'm not going through that one again. Do not bring that one to me. Something else. Someone else's turn, not mine. And so my husband and I were just in disbelief, obviously, when we found out Kylie had passed away. She had passed away in a car accident. So we found out at midnight with the cops. And it plays out exactly like you see in the movies. It's horrific. And my husband said to me, like I said, I can't do this again. I said, I know. I can't either, but we don't have a choice. But Kylie and camper have been very apparent in our lives. And so that's another thing I want people to know, like, you can have a relationship with your loved ones even after they've passed. You just have to. To reach out to them, call to them. They will be there. Your heavenly Father will allow you to be with them. And she has shown up time and time again. Doesn't mean that I haven't had some really, really dark moments. But honestly, I'll be honest with you. In those dark moments is when she shows up the most. And in those dark moments is when God shows up the most. So don't be afraid of those dark moments. Feel them, do them, and then pick yourself up off the floor and take another step forward.

Thank you for sharing. I know that this is probably not the easiest stories to share, but I know that there are people who are listening who have walked this path in some way, shape or form. And hearing you share gets to be the blanket that wraps around them.

That's my hope. Yeah, absolutely. That I want these moms and these dads and these children that have lost siblings to know you are not alone. I promise you, you're not alone. And you're not alone in what you're thinking and what you're feeling. There's other people feeling it, and we love you. And if we can come together. If we can come together, what a Force to be reckoned with. Right?

Yeah.

What an army of angels we've got on our side.

Oh, I feel that. And I would. I, like, I laugh about. Will you share how Kylie, like, helped you get prepared for this podcast today?

Yeah. So I. In the middle of the night, I. I woke up and had this nudge, like, you have a podcast today? And I was like, no, I don't. And it kept kind of nudging at me. No, you have a podcast. Not today meaning, well, today, but it was last night.

And.

No, you do. You have a podcast. And I was like, no. Somehow was able to go back to sleep. Got up this morning, looked at my paperwork. Yeah. Whoever was letting me know, you're wrong. It's next Wednesday. So anyways, I went. I went down. I exercise every morning, started exercising, turn on my music and songs that remind me of Kylie or songs that Kylie really enjoyed that I had saved to my Spotify started playing, and I was like, oh, I love this. Like, okay, Kylie, we're gonna do our exercises. Kept me pumped. And then your text comes through and says, are you ready for the podcast today? Oh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. I can't believe that. So, of course I was like, okay, we're doing it. Like, Kylie was letting me know, and I kept saying, no, no, it's not. But I just had this feeling like, mom, yes, we are. We're doing it, and we're pumped up for it, and let's go. So I really. I prayed a lot to her this morning so that I could get my mind right and had every intention to go and do this podcast, actually. In her bedroom. Yeah. And the light in there was so intense. It was so bright. So I was sad that I couldn't do it in there, but I think that's her letting me know, like, this is the right move.

Oh, my gosh, I can't stop crying over here. There's just, like, so much tenderness. And I think here, having people here, like, oh, you get to experience Kylie. Like, she get. She showed up in your music, like, literally turn that music on today to let you know she was here when that text came in. She was tapping on your heart last night, getting you ready so that it wasn't a huge surprise, like, she was prepping you, because we got our dates all kind of mixed up, which happens. It happens all the time.

Right.

And I think what's so powerful is for our listeners to realize that those that they have lost, they are not lost from them. They get access to them.

Right.

Now, So I. I'm feeling inspired to just ask you, is there another story that you'd love to share where you felt Camber or Kylie at some point in your life or they. Are they too tender for you?

That they are tender, but I. I love to talk about them because it makes them really real. It reminds me, yes, they were here, because sometimes we get in a place where we just get into life and like, with Camber, she's been gone for so long that sometimes it just, like, was that real? Did that. Did that really happen? I can't say that I've ever, like, physically seen any of them, but for sure have felt them so powerful that I almost feel like I could reach out and touch them. And Camber, there was one time, like, she passed away. She drowned in our pool in our home in Arizona. And I remember going out and taking garbage out and looking out by the pool, and I turned around real quick because I swear she was standing there with me. And then I look over and I see these beautiful purple flowers that we had had around our pool. And purple was her birthstone and what represented her. And it's almost like they were like, look at me. And so that was one experience with her that I know for sure that she was present. Kylie, for sure, has shown up so intensely so often, and in her. And I, like, I swear there was times she did not like me. She was a typical teenager, and she was spicy, and I. I swore at times that she did not like me, but. But she had the biggest heart of gold, and she also could be the biggest sweetheart. And so she has shown me, mom, I love you. But when I decided to do life coaching, I. That wasn't on my radar. Honestly, I didn't even know what it was at all. And I was talking with a friend. She starts talking about life coaching, and I had this friend, like, this is what you're supposed to do. I need you to do this. I need you to do this. I'm at home, and I was, like, gonna tell my husband. I'm like, there's no way he's gonna go for this. It's not cheap to go through life coach school. I tell him about it. He goes, I think you're supposed to do that. And I was like, what? And then I'm like, wait, I'm in the middle of grief, and I'm going to do life coach school. And then I have this feeling, you're going to school so you can be a grief coach so you can help these families and these moms I need you to do this, Mom. This helps me with what I am doing on the other side. You are helping me do my work on the other side of people to know Christ. And I was like, okay. But I did not sign up for almost, almost a week. And I was listening to music in, I was working out, and I swear she was standing right next to me. And this surge of energy just overcame me. I started crying and I was like, had the feeling you sign up now. I need you, mom, to do this for me. And so it's like, okay, fine. And so that's just like one of many times. I mean, I graduated life coaching school within five minutes of getting the certification done. Five minutes. One of her friends sends over two pictures of her that I've never seen before. One where her friend is giving her a kiss on the cheek, and the other one is her giving her friend the biggest hug within five minutes of me finding out before I'd even told anyone. And I was like, what are the chances of that happening? I think I really, truly believe that that was Kylie giving me that kiss on the cheek and giving me that hug and saying, mom, thank you for doing this. We're going to change lives together.

Oh, gosh, 100% right? Like, that was her physical presence of saying, I am hugging and kissing you right now and celebrating, celebrating you, Jen, that like, in the midst of grief, you were learning tools to help other people. Like, I hope that you have celebrated so big, right? Just whatever it is that makes you happy, celebrate yourself. Because these are big moments in time.

They are big moments. They are things that I never thought that I could do. Other hard things, you know, grief alone is so hard. These were hard doing schooling and then, yeah, deciding in the middle school, I'm going to do a grief journal on top of that. Like, I was like, you are insane. And I went into some dark places along the path. I mean, the darkness was trying to shut this out big time. And sometimes I just sit in that darkness for a little bit and then I'd get that surge of energy and I'm like, no, this lets me know this is so needed. It is coming to fruition. And now it's here and it can bless so many lives. Like, I am just. I can't even. I don't have the words to describe how ecstatic I am.

Oh, my gosh. And I'm like, this could be a really interesting YouTube video. I'm like, wiping snot from my nose, got tears running down my cheeks. I'm just honoring You. And thinking back to the last few months where you were bringing this through, you know, you weren't in my coaching program, so I wasn't really aware of where you were at. I didn't know what you were going through. A lot of people who are in my mastermind, I'm, like, very clear every week where they're at emotionally and where their book is. So with you, it was kind of like you were over in your own world. But I would get nudges. So I'd probably say that was Kylie coming, because I would get really strong. Like, taps on my heart. Like, text Jen right now. Text Jen. See how she's doing. And for me, that is the proof of, like, we are not alone in bringing through these books. Like, these aren't just books that we spout off to grow our businesses. Like, so many people are, like, write your book to funnel into your business. Sure, yeah, that can happen. And that's awesome. That's not what these books are. These books are sacred books. These books are literally, we've got legions of angels helping us bring through this truth into the written form to support humanity in a time where maybe nobody has lost anyone to death, but what happened 2020 to now, every human has experienced grief. Every human has lost something, some part of their life because of the pandemic. And so they are aware of grief. And everybody can use this book. Everybody needs support moving through grief.

Yes, absolutely. Everyone does. I heard a long time ago. I don't know who said it, and I'm probably going to completely butcher it, but something to the effect that when we write in our journals that it's sacred writing. And as we record it here on Earth, it's also recorded with the angels in heaven.

Oh, my God. I never heard that.

You haven't? Yes. So it's. It's permanent. It's so sacred. It's not only sacred here, but that goes into the eternities in heaven and is recorded there. So if that doesn't tell you that journaling is so important and so vital to our learning and growing, it's how.

God has always talked to humans. Right. And that's why I call the work that I help people do sacred writing. Because this is how God has spoken to humanity from the beginning of time. God speaks when we write. And so every person who gets this journal, they get to be in that divine communication. The veil becomes thinner and you get to experience being taught through your hands.

Absolutely. I mean, there's times where I sit down and I don't write Every day in this book. You don't have to write in this journal every day. It's. It's there for when you feel like, feel prompted to and that you want to. And so I don't journal every single day, but every time I do sit down, it could be just, like, whatever's on your mind. Maybe it's just an emotion. I am angry today. And then just whatever comes to your mind, that's what goes out on paper. And so sometimes it might not make total sense, but it'll just lift this heavy burden off your chest as you get it out onto paper. And then you feel like, I can breathe. I can breathe. And it might not make sense as you're writing it, but if you'll read it back, you'll pick up special little nuggets and you'll be like, that makes complete sense. I see what God wanted me to learn from that, what he wanted me to know today.

Yeah.

Every time.

Oh, my gosh. What a gift. What a gift. I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful to know you. I'm so grateful. You know, I have these little pockets of memories of us being at the playground together when we had our little children. And just, you know, I'm actually like, this is just side note. I'm, like, super introverted. Friends are not my, like, forte. I don't have, like, bundles of friends. And I have a hard time just reaching out and connecting and making friendships because, I don't know, I'm weird. I'm also introverted, and that's just how I am. So there was something. When I met you, my heart, like, knew you, and it was like, oh, this is a safe place. And little did we know, however many years ago that was, that we would be right here doing this work, bringing your journal to the world, supporting such powerful, powerful work in helping people move through grief. And I'm just honored. I'm honored to watch God please place people in each other's paths to do good.

I agree. I feel the same way. I felt that same deep connection, and I am very much more introverted. It's hard for me to reach outside myself. But, yeah, there was definitely a connection there. I felt like I had known you forever. I knew this friendship wasn't going anywhere.

Oh, it's such a joy. It's such a joy. So everyone who's listening, Jen's book is up on Amazon. It's called Give Hope. The link is obviously in our show notes. It's going to be on our Freedom House website. Go grab it on Amazon. You know what, what's coming to me is that we don't ever know what to say to somebody who's lost somebody.

We don't. No.

There's like no words. We've never experienced it. It's like I, I'm for sure not going to say anything because it's going to come out wrong. But this book, this is what you can give people who've lost. Really? Like, hey, I don't have the words, but I do know that this can be a massive support for you and I hope you just feel my love. Now we let your book fill in the holes that we don't have the capacity or the context to help them support someone.

This book will say it all. Yeah, for you. You don't have to say a word. And I mean, what's more perfect than something where they, it can help them on their journey to heal and they don't have to use it right away. They may not use it for a year or longer, but you are giving them as sacred, precious gift. You know, flowers die, you know, jewelry tarnishes. But this book will be with them forever. Special keepsake.

I feel that. I feel that. So everyone, I feel like everyone needs to have like three of these in their house. Keep it in your home. That way when someone you know is struggling, you have a resource to give to them. And if anyone who's listening could use support through grief, Jen is your girl. Like, I stamp my approval a thousand times over on the, the goodness in Jen's heart. The, the, the desire to serve and support and love is just so immense. So I'm going to have all of Jen's information in the show notes. Do you have a website?

You have social media?

What do you do where people could come and start joining you?

Right now I have an Instagram page. It's Jen Larson coaching and you can contact me through that. You also can contact me through my email, which is lcjenmarsonmail.com and set up an appointment and I'll contact you and we can talk and get you on this healing journey to realize that you can have peace amongst the storms in your life, no matter what. It is.

Beautiful. Thank you, Jen. Everyone. I'll have everything listed below in the show notes or if this is the YouTube on our show notes of that. I want to thank you, Jen, for being the bold, courageous human that you are.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for having me on. You're such an inspiration to me and so many more.

Thank you. I received that. I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful that God placed us on each other's paths. And as we end, I always like to ask guests if you could close your eyes and drop in your heart. Is there a message that you can give to our listeners as we close this episode?

Yes, I feel like. So there is a mantra quote that has stuck with me that came to me honestly about two weeks before Kylie passed away. Had no clue what impact this was going to make in my life. I just read it and liked it. But it says the joy we feel in our lives has nothing to do with the circumstances of our life, but everything to do with the focus of our life. And that is by Russell M. Nelson. And so whatever your focus, you choose it to be, that's what's going to bring you peace and joy.

That's so beautiful. Thank you. Thank you, Jen, for being here. Thank you, listeners, for spending time with us in this really powerful episode. And as we leave today, my message to you is this, that if you have a stirring in your soul to support and bring people peace, hope, light, follow it. Jen is the best example of this. She had that feeling. Nothing in her life made sense for her to bring this book through. She was dealing with massive grief. She's raising a lot of children. She was going to coaching school, and she didn't say no to this stir in her heart to bring this book through. And when you honor that, you get to watch miracles unfold.

Absolutely. Yeah. Miracles in every day.

Every day. So may the miracles wrap every one of you today with light, with love. And we will see you next week on Amplify, the podcast of Freedom House publishing company Podcast.