JOA Author Summit with Izumi Favia

Welcome everywhere and everyone, everyone here to this beautiful Joa summit. I am the host. I am Kira Brinton. I am the publisher and I'm also a book writing coach. So I was so lucky and honored to spend time with Izumi in the writing of her book. And even luckier that we get to be the publishers that bring her book to the world. So today is all about Izumi Fabia and her beautiful new book, Writing to Heal after the unbearable Loss of a Child. This book is so tender and so powerful and I just honor you, Izumi, for being the author who wrote this book. So welcome, welcome to this summit. Azumi, I would love to open up the space for you to talk a little bit about what first inspired you to write this book.

Yeah, well, first of all, thank you so much for having me and thank you everyone for coming and joining me for this summit. So I start journaling after my daughter passed away. And I was just writing to just, just to get my thoughts out of emotions out. And sometime I was talking to her in the way of writing instead of just talking in my head so that I could just put it on my paper and on my paper journal and hoping get to somewhere.

Yeah.

And I think it was like eight or more than eight months and I met Kira and her magic or her light inspired me. And I heard something along the line of. Along the line of I could write to heal. And I was already writing a journal every day. So I'm like, why not? That inspired me to start writing and working with Kira to write a book. And it first thought of us. It was inspiring to write. But then it started getting harder because it was. I was writing down all the raw emotions. And I, at one point I'm like, why am I writing this? Like, why am I going through this pain? But I'm glad I did it because I was able to write the first, like really raw pain. And then as I was editing that part of it and I'm like, time, different place because I've done all those work. Yes, yes. So I was in able to incorporate all those tools that I learned along my journey. And this became a book, a journal, and a conversation with me.

More like, I love that. I love that. I'm so happy that you followed the inspiration and that you kept going even in the uncomfortable parts, because it is very uncomfortable to write a book specifically when it's on grief, because it's impossible to write about grief and not feel the grief. And so you are just such a strong woman that you were able to bring this all the way through, because I know it. It was heavy and it was intense. And writing a book heals us. Would you say that writing this book was a huge part of your healing?

Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Yeah.

It makes us go into the corners and the crevices inside of ourselves that we don't really want to go to. And that's why it makes such a difference. So this book. There are parents who need this book. And what I. What I really want to say about a book like this is that when someone loses a child, most of the time we don't know what to say. We don't know what to do. We can't even comprehend what am I supposed to do or say. And that's why you writing this book will be one of the greatest gifts ever. Because if we could all have a handful of these at our house, and if someone that we love goes through such unbearable loss, you won't be without words. You'll be able to hand this book to them and let a zoomie's words help them heal. So this book is. This book is going to be here forever. Will be something that many people will read. How has it felt for you now that it's been out for a few months? How has it felt for you?

It's. This is a. Writing this book has been a big part of my healing journey. And I have to be honest, I felt some sort of closure of one chapter of my grief.

Yeah.

Then I'm hitting to a different part of it and going back and reading this book again, I was like, oh, yeah, this doesn't end. But I have a tools. I have tools. So I'm my. Again, my hope is this book will touch other parents at any, any part of their journey of grief. Their grief, or anyone who's going through their losses.

Yeah. What would you say, what would you say to those who are grieving right now? What would your message to them be?

I want to say this is not an easy journey. But what kept me going is the best, best way out is always through. That's by Robert Frost. I put it in this book too. This, this quote is not specifically for reef, but I believe that is true.

Yeah.

So I want most reefed parents or anyone going through their losses. To be open to receive the sport supports that if they. Whatever form that they need. It could be support group. It could be friends or family want to support them. It could be therapy and any form that they're called to receive. I want them to be open. And I. I'm saying this And I know it's not easy sometimes, but I won't remind them. But there's always someone who wants to help them, support them. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's beautiful. I want to talk about why you published your book on the day that you published it. Can you talk to us about that? Yeah.

That's Alice's anniversary and that was her second anniversary.

Yeah, yeah.

The day she passed away. And I. It was very meaningful that I was able to publish this book.

Yeah.

Yeah. There's a beautiful way to honor her and honor her life. And I feel like there's so much of her energy in this book, including this ladybug. Can you talk to us about why you put a ladybug on the front cover?

Yeah. So on the day she passed away, we're driving back home from a local hospice and I found a ladybug in the car as I was driving home as a. She was coming home with us. And after a couple days after we found. I don't know if it was the same ladybug, we found a ladybug inside of the house too. And that helped me to see different signs or messages that I was getting, including that that thought of I could write to heal. I'm sure that was from her.

I love that. I love that. Is there any questions from anyone who's here or anything that you want to share, how this book inspired you or touched your heart or anything that you want to share to Izumi. I would love to just open it up for a little bit here and let anyone who wants to have the space to do that. If you do, just hit unmute so we can hear you. I know it's like a little nerve wracking sometimes.

Hi, this is Tiffany. I'll go ahead and share. So Angela McKay, who's on the call, introduced the book to myself. Um, next Tuesday will be two years that I lost my 18 year old son. So I purchased the book, I think back in December and it sat here and I had a day that it's like I needed. I needed something. And so I opened up the book and everything that I felt it was in writing. I could see things that I felt. I didn't know if it was normal, if it was, but you had ri. Taken it from your mind and put it in paper. So to see that. Thank you.

Tiffany.

Thank you for sharing.

Yeah, thank you for sharing. I know it's not easy, so thank you.

Thank you so much.

Thank you.

This is the. This is the power of writing books. You know, we all experience loss at some point, maybe not this. This intense of loss, but loss is there. And one thing is that loss always makes you feel alone. You just feel so alone in it. And I think that I just honor you, Izumi, for going through the intensity of writing this book, because this will help people not feel alone. And that is so healing to not feel alone. So, Tiffany, I'm so grateful that you shared that. Anyone else want to share anything or have questions that you want to ask? Zumi? Yeah.

Okay. You unmute?

I don't know. I don't know. You're in. Katie? Yes. Am I saying your name right? There we go.

Hi. Hi.

It's Jane from the Connecticut Cancer Foundation. Hi, Izumi.

Hi, Jane. Thank you.

I just want to say, having met Izumi a few years ago, very soon after she lost her daughter, and she has been a pillar of strength, in my opinion. I think it was a week, Izumi, after you lost your daughter, that you signed on to our no Shave CT fundraiser and as a way of wanting to honor your daughter. And I was just so, so amazed that you found the strength to do that. And as a way. And I know you wanted to help other children out there that were struggling not only with these horrible diseases, but to also think about their parents and those that didn't have financial wherewithal to cover their rents or their mortgage or their food or things like that. And you found the strength within you to want to join our effort to help these other families, which I don't know that I've. You know, and I've been doing this for 36 years, and I don't know if I've ever witnessed such strength and courage of someone to do such a thing. And she's been part of the Connecticut Cancer foundation, supporting us. And whenever I need her, you know, she's always there. And you really, you've just been a pillar of strength and courage, and now to come out with this beautiful book as another means of. Of helping others. As you know, I just had my own loss a couple of years ago with my husband, but I. I can't imagine a child. I think, you know, I think to myself, with John, this is a cycle of life. You know, he had a very full, amazing life. And so when you think of the cycle of life, you don't think of losing a child for sure. And I am just so honored to call you my friend and to support you. However, we can continue to support you and others and thank you for supporting the Connecticut Cancer foundation and all that we do here. And I know it'll be a great gift, this book to others who need the healing.

Jane and her husband John started the Connecticut Cancer foundation, and they've been supporting different types of cancer patients and their family that they're financial difficulties or the. She was on the phone with me for like an hour when I first introduced to your organization. She was patiently listening to my story, my daughter's. Alice's story. And. And they. They do such a wonderful, important work for people who need. And supporting their organization has been such a. Also being a big part of my healing journey as well, that it's been really giving me a courage inspiration to keep going. So thank you, Jane.

My. My pleasure. And thank you for all you've done for the foundation and you've done a lot. So thank you.

Hi, I'm Mary Soul and I. This journey with Izumi and Alice, I just thought about the ladybug and one of the things that came to mind was that Alice will love to go to the healing garden and picked up the blueberries. And that was something that was a lot of fun for her while she was here. And Insumi, I just want to say thank you because this book can say so much and can be so healing for our parents. For me and Katie, as social workers, we have this experience in working with parents and experience these losses. And as you had said before, there's no words sometimes that you can say to comfort. But I have a book of somebody else that has an experience like that that can share and that can help my other families, you know, to heal. So thank you and thank you for allowing me to be part of this journey. You know, it has been an honor to. To meet you and to met Alice and we all still remember Alice here. And I love the book and hopefully we will get some of the books here in our clinics, in both of our clinics that we can share with our families.

So Marisol has been a part of. Yeah, A part of my journey as well. She introduced me to Jane, the Kennedy Cancer foundation and. And you know, that little. I wrote it in, in the book too. Little jam, a little golden thread that I followed through led me to where I'm at and I put it in the book form as well.

Yeah.

So thank you.

Yeah. Any zoom. I just wanted to also echo the sentiments of Marisol that, you know, I know I had the pleasure of meeting Alice and your family a few times as you were coming to the. The hospital for her treatment. And I just always remember her spirit and her energy. She vibrant and beautiful inside and out And I think that you're carrying her spirit of all of that every day. And this book is just. It's incredible that you've had the strength to write this book and your heart to continue to support others. Going through this is really beautiful, and I think just another way to continue honor honoring your daughter. So thank you so much for sharing this with us and having that strength, which is just absolutely amazing. And Marisol and I support you and your family 100%. And we wanted to be here for you today, too. So thank you so much for letting us be a part of your life and your story.

And thank you for supporting the Connecticut Cancer foundation, who is an amazing and generous foundation that has helped so many of our. Our families.

Yeah.

Incredibly grateful.

Yeah.

Thank you.

My gosh, you guys, My. My heart, if I ever wondered if publishing was what I wanted to do in life, like, this session right here is like, this is it. Like, this is it. You guys, I'm just, like, so honored that you guys came to support Izumi. And, Izumi, I'm just. I'm so proud of you. Izumi, you didn't write this book 10 years after the loss of your daughter. You wrote this book really recently after she passed. And I remember just watching you like, this is so raw and so fresh, and you did it. And so I just hope you can feel like you did this and this is going to go out. It's going to change people's lives. As we're closing up, I would love for you to just pick up your book. This is my favorite game I always play with my authors. They say, will of fortune, and you land on whatever. I. I'm going to tell you what I landed on.

But then you.

I want you. So you pick it first, and I want you to land on a spot, and you're going to share about it. Then I'm going to have you land, talk about what I landed on. Okay. All right, they're ready, set, stop. Wherever you land.

Oh, I landed on the. Page 43. How my curiosity is helping me.

Talk about that.

So one thing is. Kids are always curious. They ask so many different questions. That has been. The. Asking questions has been an important part of this journey. Like every day, I ask different questions. Sometime I get straightforward answers. Sometimes I don't hear anything. Or sometime I hear answers, like delayed answers. It comes in different time, weeks, days later. But if one question then doesn't give me an answer, I could tweak it, get curious, and then tweak the question and ask another one.

So that's beautiful.

I ask a lot of different questions in this book. I think that's a big part of my current, like, part of journey too.

I. I love the questions that you have in this chapter. Journal prompts. What does my child want me to know? What do they want to share with me? Where can I find them if I want a physical reminder? Where are they now? How are they doing? I wonder what their mission was this time. How can I stay connected with them? How can I. What can I do to tell them how much I love them? Powerful questions that will help so many parents. So I love that. I love that chapter. And I love that the chapter I landed on is page 32. So you want to turn to it, the message card. And I'd love for you to share about that.

So she was receiving monthly subscription from Japan, and she was at the point practice writing Japanese letters. So because it was a Halloween issue, there was a little Halloween theme card where they. She could trace Japanese letters. And I think a couple weeks or a month before she passed away, she just wanted to try this card. She traced it, and I put it away somewhere. And then a few months after she passed away, her surviving sister. Her sister found it in her room. And I open it. It says thank you in Japanese as if was a message from her.

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

So that was what I thought I was a message from her at the time, and I needed to hear.

And I love that you give them ideas like start seeking your. Start seeking your child. Right. Like start seeking how they're responding to you. And. And I loved this. When you and I were working on your book, I remember you talking about how they were like tokens that you would see or feel or notice, and you knew that Alice was with you. And so I just love that you help parents find that in here. So I just. I really, really love those pieces. And I want to just read what's in the chat. Myra. I want to read what you say. I'm feeling too upset to talk at the moment, but I really wanted to share how much I love this book. It felt like Izumi's love was reaching out to all of the grieving parents. Her love for Alice seemed to multiply, extending to all who have experienced similar grief. Oh, Ira, thank you for writing that. How does that feel to read that, Zumi? Does it make you so grateful that you pushed through and that you brought it to earth?

Yes. Yes.

Beautiful.

Yeah.

Well, everyone here, I want you to go into the chat because the very first part is Zumi put A link here. She created a meditation. I'd love everyone to grab that meditation and not only use it, but share. Share it. Share it with those who, you know, need it. And if you, if you have problem finding it, let me know. But it should be just that first link in the chat. And anyone who's watching this YouTube video as this will go on, please go grab this book. And these are one of the books where I say you need to have 10. You need to have 10 on hand because you never know when someone you love is going to go through loss. And to be able to give that would be the greatest gift. Yes, I will repost the meditation link. Let me grab it really fast for you guys.

Well, I can send you guys through email as well, or anyone.

Here we go. Okay, I'm going to post it right here. So if everyone wants to grab that. And Zumi said she will send this out via email. So, Zumi, as we close today, first of all, I want to thank everyone who shared your comments have been so massively impactful. And I know it's a lonely world to be an author because you don't know if your words find their way into people's ears or into their hearts. Right? You don't know. And so these summits, the reason why we hold these summits really is so that the author really understands that people are reading their books. It's. It's the best gift. And there's one other gift that you can give authors that would change everything is to go to Amazon and leave them a review. It's. It takes five minutes and it'll be the fastest way for you to give her a gift because the more reviews she has, the more Amazon will promote her book, which means more people will have access to this book. So that's, you know, as a publisher, I say go love on her. Give her review. But thank you guys for being with us. And Aumi, I would love for you, if you want to just leave us with a message from your heart today. What would that message be?

Want to say thank you for being here. Whether this is the first time meeting me or you're being part of my journey for years. Thank you. Whatever I receive, I can give up back to you or anyone who needs it. So thank you for being a part of my life.

Thank you, beautiful. Thank you, Izumi, for writing this book. Thank you for having the strength, the courage, the boldness and the light within you to bring this book to the world and everyone here. Thank you for your light and all that you do in the world and for spending time with us today. It was my deepest honor to hold the space for this. So with that, I hope you have the most beautiful Monday and be well.

Thank you so much.

Thank you, everyone.

Thank you, everyone.

Thanks.

Thank you.