The Sacred Writing Podcast #164

Foreign.

Welcome back, my friend, to the Sacred Writing Podcast.

I'm so happy you're here and I.

Am so excited about this episode. So let's start, shall we? I want you to just close your eyes. If you're driving. Please don't close your eyes. Just let my words activate what needs to happen.

But please keep those eyes open.

But if you can close your eyes, put your palms on your knees. Take your shoulders up, opening up your heart.

Palms up to the heavens.

You're going to breathe this really beautiful light into the crown of the head. You're going to let it move all the way down the body. Cleaning, cleansing, clearing the pathway. Going to breathe in the light again. We're going to let go of anyone's energy that is stuck to you. Anything that you're carrying that's not yours, breathe it out through the soles of your feet. One more in. And breathing it all the way down to the tips of your toes, creating a really beautiful shield of light around you, sealing it up to protect you and infuse you with light. We're going to call in all of your angels, your guides, your leaders, those who are here to help you with your family, with your heart, with your purpose, your mission, your work. We're going to invite them all in and through the divine light to come and hold space with us. To lead, to guide, to hold this space. For this episode, we're going to ask that light will touch our ears so.

We can spiritually hear what needs to be heard.

The light will touch our third eye chakras. We have access to all of our spiritual gifts. The light will cleanse our lips, that.

We speak only what needs to be spoken. Ah, there we go. There we go. All right. I want you to stay in your heart.

We're going to open up the space.

For this episode to drop in. So I want to ask you the question, have you ever had an old behavior, an old mindset, an old pattern, an old relationship that you thought you.

Broke free from, but you wanted to go back, or you did go back, or you. You still found yourself with those old behaviors? So it could look something like you said you were going to give up caffeine and you were clean for a long time, and then you went back, or you said that you were leaving an unhealthy relationship and you did, and.

Then you went back, or you had.

An old belief system around money that was fear and lack, and somehow you broke free from it, but then you.

Like, found your way back. Today we're talking about why why do we go back? Why do we go back when we've tasted something new? Why do we go back when we felt the freedom? So I was having this conversation with.

God the other morning.

I was up at 3am, which is.

Super abnormal for me. Couldn't sleep.

I was struggling with some internal battles and my demons of, oh, as we do, right?

And I'm talking to God, and I'm asking God, why? Like, why do I.

Why do I go back to old.

Behaviors and old patterns when I've done.

So much healing work and I've made.

This new pathway in my brain?

Like, how. Why do I go back? Why do I want to go back? And then I was shown the story of the Israelites.

Now, I did not research the story since I've had this vision, so it may not be fully accurate, but this is what I was shown. Okay, go with me on this. I was shown the Israelites who had.

Been freed from Egypt. We're going to say it was Egypt.

I believe it was where these Israelites had been in bondage for. I want to say, like, generation upon generation upon generation had been all in.

Bondage as slaves to the Egyptians.

And all they wanted was to be freed. And they prayed for freedom, and they prayed to God for freedom. And God delivered, and he brought Moses. And it wasn't like Moses just freed them. Like the Red Sea freaking parted, right? Like, there they were, Israelites marching away from Egypt, going down the hill to the Red Sea, and the Pharaoh is at their back. And here they are feeling like they are pinned in, like they are caged.

That there is no way out.

And when they're belly deep in that moment of wondering, what was God thinking? This is not what we prayed for. We prayed for freedom. What was God thinking? We're all going to die in the Red Sea. Moses parts the Red Sea with the.

Power of God, and they all cross on dry ground, and they are freed from the Pharaoh and his army. And then they begin on this new.

Adventure where they don't actually have a vision of where they're going. They actually don't know what is ahead. All they know is that they became free. And at first, it was lovely and wonderful. I'm sure there was a lot of dancing and singing. And then it starts to settle in.

And they begin to complain, and they begin to say, why did we leave Egypt? I would rather be a slave because I knew at least I would be fed every day.

I would rather be a slave because I at least knew that life.

And they wanted to go Back.

Hmm. So this is the message. The message is that even when we become free.

The old ways are familiar.

And often we would take poor environments, poor results.

Because we knew them. We knew them. And so.

We want to go back.

We want to go back.

We know that caffeine is going to.

Give us energy, but we also forgot how it made you feel. Right?

Like I had a caffeine addiction. And when I say that, like, it was like I couldn't move without it. I couldn't freaking handle life without it. And now I'm like, five years clean, and I can't even have caffeine or it makes me feel like I'm having a heart attack. So it's interesting, the lies that I believed about caffeine. The lie was that I was more fun when I drank caffeine. I literally told that to myself. I'm a way better mom if I drink caffeine. I'm way more fun. I actually told myself that caffeine was, like my best friend. It always made me feel good. I mean, like, let's all be grateful that I've never, you know, actually tried real drugs, because clearly there are some addiction behaviors stuck in my body. And I. I truly believed what I told myself about caffeine, which is why I was addicted to it for 10 years. And now here I am, five years clean, and I'm actually a way better mom. I'm way more fun being in my highest vibration. So all those belief systems were just lies that I told myself to keep myself stuck in old behaviors.

Right.

So we sometimes romanticize the old ways and old belief systems when we're out.

And why? Because we don't have a vision of where we're going.

We don't have a vision. The Egyptians didn't actually know where they were going. Not the Egyptians. The Israelites didn't know where they were going. They actually didn't have a vision of what was ahead. And so with no vision ahead, the only thing you have to cling on to is the past. And it makes you want to go back, and it makes you want to go back to those belief systems, those patterns, those relationships, those ways of being.

We want to go back because we don't know what's ahead.

Now, if I had been able to come to myself as this version 2023, gone to Kira in 2017 and said to her, hey, this is actually what your future looks like. It's extraordinary in so many amazing ways. And you go through a shit ton of pain, and you did it without caffeine you actually felt through all the pain, you actually dealt with all of it. And you became more powerful and stronger than you ever were.

You just got to give it up.

Now, if I could have done that, too, if I had seen that vision in 2017, it would have been so much easier for me to give up that behavior of that give up that addiction.

Right?

Think about it. If you are getting pulled back into a relationship that isn't serving you and you broke free, imagine yourself coming to you five years from now and letting you know the vision that's ahead.

Hey, sister, there's so much good ahead. You just got to stay the course and trust. Would you be able to stay.

There's an interesting line. A sentence from one of my favorite books. Oh, it's like the best book ever. It's called A Million Years and a Thousand Miles. Or maybe it's a thousand miles in a million years. I never get it right. Donald Miller wrote it. If you have not read that book, please just go buy it on Amazon. It will make you cry and laugh. And I think I need to reread it, actually. It's so good. But he has a sentence in there that really sticks true to this. And you don't have to be in an abusive relationship to relate to this. It's just. It's just the principle here. It said most people leave abusive relationships. Like I think he said, 80% go back. Even when they have family who will support them leaving. And that piece seems important. Even when they have the support to. To stay out, they go back. And he said the reason why go back is because they knew that abuse, it was familiar, and anything outside of it was unfamiliar and unknown, and they would rather live what is familiar and known, even if it's unhealthy and painful. I want you to take that and look at what you have been struggling to let go of, to be free from.

Why do you keep going back to it? Because it is familiar and because you don't know where you're actually going.

So, all of you animal lovers, please do not hate me when I tell you this story. Okay? We have fish. And the fish tank needed to be.

Cleaned so bad and every day. Oh, dragon eyes. That's what they named him.

Oh, my dragon eyes. I'm so sorry I haven't cleaned your fish tank. I will do it today. And then I didn't. And I started to watch the fish just exist.

Like, it didn't swim around anymore. It just, like, existed. And I cleaned the fish tank this morning, and when fresh New water in there.

This fish was swimming a million miles an hour and, like, up and down and around and just so happy.

And it was like, oh, my gosh.

When we are in bondage to our belief systems, to our. To our fears, to our old patterns, old ways of beings, old relationships, we.

Become the fish who just exists because the environment is not healthy.

And that means your environment in your brain. If you have belief systems that are carving you down, that environment is not clean in your brain. If you are in a toxic relationship, that environment is not clean and you.

Are stagnant, just barely alive.

Now imagine if you could receive a vision of your future that allows you to fully desert the old ways and never look back.

It'll be like the fish who has the fresh water. The environment changes, and so will you.

We are talking about external and internal environments.

It is okay for you to want to go back. It's okay. It's okay for you to want to.

Fall back into old patterns and old.

Belief systems, but know that when you're there, you'll remember why you didn't want to be there.

Imagine if the Israelites had gone back into slavery.

Do you think that they would have.

Said, oh, yeah, this is better? Love it. Love being whipped. I love having just, you know, build brick mortar walls all day long and get fed two biscuits.

I mean, I'm just.

I have no idea what it was like for them, but I would imagine something like this, right? They would actually then start romanticizing about what it was like to be in the wilderness and to have manna fall from the heavens and to have watched Moses hit a rock and water came out. Like we romanticize where we are not.

But if we have a vision of where we're going, we actually can keep moving.

So how do you get a vision?

Well, you have to ask for it.

And so this is going to be a place where I just want to hold this space with you right now. And we're going to hold the space.

That you receive a vision.

And if you don't receive it right here, right now, then I'm going to invite you to put it up to God right before you fall asleep tonight and ask that you be shown a vision in your sleep or right when.

You wake up.

A vision of your future. And you're going to ask very clearly, God, can you show me a vision of where I'm going that will help me release and then name what it is, Release. My old patterns, my old belief systems. But, like, actually name it, right? Like old Kira could have said, God, can you show me a vision of what life would look like without having a caffeine addiction?

Show me what that looks like so.

I know what I'm living into so that I can actually delete and let go of this addiction. Maybe you're in a relationship that you left and you want to go back. You can say, God, show me a vision of what my life is going.

To look like so I can fully release the past and be detached from.

This relationship that didn't serve me or.

Him or her or the whole place, right? Like, show me how to release this.

Let's say you're struggling with.

With lack.

This is such a universal conversation. You're struggling and you're afraid of not having enough money and somehow you broke free from it. And then you hit a new place in your business and you found yourself.

Back in that place of worry and stress. You're going to ask God, God, can.

You show me a vision of what life looks like ahead where I do.

Not worry about money, right? Do not have lack within me. Show me that vision so I can fully release this belief system around money and around lack and be freed. One of my favorite Florence Govellian phrases.

Are, I cast this burden on God and I go free. So you get to say, I cast this burden of lack on God and I go free. I cast this burden of resentment on.

God and I go free. I cast this burden of fear on God and I go free. Place inside whatever you are struggling with.

That you want to free yourself from the bondage of it, cast it on.

God and go free. And know that there will be times when you want to go back to be a slave. That's okay. But remember that if you feel like you want to go back to slavery, ask God for a vision so that you can move forward into it.

The only reason why we want to go back is because we don't know where we're going.

And the best way to know where you're going is to ask God to show you. It's so I want you to close your eyes.

I want you to ask God to.

Show you a vision, a vision of.

What is possible for you, what is.

Ahead of you, where are we going?

Without this old pattern, belief, relationship.

Behavior, what does the vision look like? And I'm gonna be quiet for a second, actually.

I'm gonna play you my bowl. Going to play with my bowl for.

You while you receive.

So now that you have received that vision, I want you to write it down. And if you didn't receive a vision that's okay. You're going to ask God to show it to you tonight while you sleep.

Or when you wake up.

And you're going to say that prayer over and over and over until it.

Shows up, because it will. Because when you ask, you will receive.

The clearer you are in your asking.

The clearer you are in receiving. All right, so I want you to take a nice breath in.

I want you to just feel compassion run through your body like a golden river. Having compassion for yourself, that wanting to.

Go back is okay. But then I want you to take a nice breath in, and we're going.

To release that behavior, that mindset, that pattern, that relationship, that environment. We're going to release it out through.

The soles of your feet.

All the way out, all the way out, all the way out. And now this time, I want you to breathe in. I want you to visualize this light coming through from the front heart, and it's going to blast it out through the back heart of your body, letting it go behind you. We are blasting the past out of your body to where it belongs, which.

Is in the past.

Take a nice breath in. Then I want you to visualize this beautiful pathway ahead of you opening up, pathway filled with light, A pathway filled with support. A pathway filled with so much deep love, connection, and joy.

And this is a pathway in front.

Allowing your heart to pull you forward.

So that your leg lifts up and you put one foot down.

Ah.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Releasing any noise in the mind, staying in the heart. I cast this burden on God and I am free. I cast this burden on God and I go. Freedom is your birthright. Slavery is a choice. And you get to choose. You get to choose. And whenever you're stuck, you just get to ask God to show you the vision that will help you release the old and step into the new. Ah. All right.

My dear friend, I'm so grateful that.

You spent some time with me. I want you to know that you are loved just as you are. You are perfect exactly as you are. With all your mistakes, with all your weaknesses, with all your struggles that you are seen, you are held, you are known by God, that everything is is exactly as it needs to be. And there's so much good ahead. I will see you next time on the Sacred Writing Podcast.