Leo Bottary explains why most people listen just to respond, turning conversations into verbal tennis matches. Real listening means asking questions to understand the other person's perspective, not to debate them.
Hi, this is Leo Bottari with the What Anyone Can Do Minute, and today I'd like to talk a little bit about listening for understanding. You know, we think we listen to people, and oftentimes what happens? They're talking and we're formulating our own response as they're halfway through whatever it is they're trying to tell us. We're not really listening so much to what they want to say. We are often just trying to engage in some kind of a verbal tennis match. That oftentimes doesn't create a lot of understanding at all. So, as best you can, be thinking about, "How can I, as a listener, do a better job of asking really great questions?" for starters, and be thinking about that. And really listening in a way that informs my understanding of where that person's coming from. Not about debating or disagreeing or anything like that, but just to understand it. And the more we actually were able to have conversation in this world where we actually listen for understanding, I think the better off we would be.
