What's the Real Opposite of Depression and Anxiety?

Foreign. Welcome to the let's Talk about it podcast, where we are taking the fear and frustration out of asking for help when it comes to your emotional and mental health and giving you what you need to think about things a bit differently. I'm Laurie Streeter, licensed therapist and certified hypnotherapist. And with each episode, I'll bring you thoughts and techniques or a guest to help you find your breakthroughs and live a healthier, happier life. Are you ready? Let's talk about it. Welcome back to another episode of let's Talk About It. I'm Laurie Streeter, licensed therapist, and I'm coming up on, like, not coming up. It's not like tomorrow, but pretty soon. I think if I did the math, in the next couple years, I'll have been a therapist, a licensed therapist for, like, 15 years. And that's a really long time, at least to me. So are there people that have been doing this longer than me? Of course. But 15 years is a long time to be in the world of mental health and anxiety and depression and trauma and residential therapy and outpatient therapy and private practice and working with people and kids and adults and elderly people and families and everything that comes with being a therapist. And it is something that I love to the ends of the earth. I absolutely 100% love what I do. And there is something that happens pretty much every time I meet with an initial client, with a new client, either in the first couple sessions or somewhere along the way. And a lot of times when people come to me, what are they saying? I'm anxious. I'm. I'm depressed. I'm stuck. I'm having a hard time with xyz.

Right.

We know what's wrong. We can identify the things in our lives that are causing us pain, the things in our lives that we want to go away, that we don't like, or, I don't like this, but I don't know what to do about it. And something that happens a lot is helping my clients. And this is what we're going to do today. This is. This is really what I want you to think about, because not a lot of people look at it like, this is figuring out what the opposite of how you're feeling is. It's being able to identify, I don't like this, but what do I like? How would I rather my life look? How would I rather feel if I don't like how I'm feeling right now, if I'm anxious, if I'm struggling with anxiety? Or what would the opposite of that life look like? If I'm depressed, what's the other end of that spectrum? And I'm going to give you some ideas, I'm going to give you some questions to ask yourself. But I want to explain this exactly how I talk to a client about this, because these are the actual conversations when I get on and I record this podcast. They're pretty much conversations that I have with my clients or internally with myself, but they show up somehow in my life. And this is pretty much how it goes with my clients. So these are things that you can think about and ask yourself and journal about and process and reflect on and maybe ask me about. If you want to reach out to me, that's totally fine. So I want to talk about the opposite of anxiety and the opposite of depression, because being able to identify what they are in terms of your life will help give you an idea of how to get there.

Right?

We have to have some kind of target to figure out how we're going to hit it. But we also have to have some kind of tool to figure out how we're going to hit whatever the target is. So let's take them separately. Although some of the same questions you can ask on both of them. So let's start with depression, because this comes up a lot. When someone comes to me and they're struggling with symptoms of depression or they've been diagnosed with depression, or I've diagnosed them with a depressive disorder. We look at depression as chronic sadness, right? This blanket idea that depression means sadness. It means lack of motivation. It means I can't do anything. This kind of like, blah, melancholic kind of feeling or life that someone is living. So if depression means sadness, let's boil it down to sadness, because this is, again, what I hear a lot. Then the opposite of depression is happiness, right? I mean, what's the opposite of being sad? Well, it's happy. That makes sense then. That's what a lot of people think. If I wasn't depressed, I would be happy. If I wasn't sad, I would feel happier. But I will tell you with things I've read studies I've seen, like, anecdotal studies from other therapists. And in 15 years of doing this, the opposite of depression isn't necessarily feeling happy. It is feeling connected. And like, there is a sense of purpose and intention. When we are struggling with depressive symptoms, the symptoms are, are disruption in sleep, lack of motivation, fatigue, all of those things that obviously classify depression. So when we look at what the opposite is, we Think it's happiness, but it's really this sense of purpose, this feeling that I'm connected to something other than myself, something bigger than myself. And I don't necessarily mean this in a religious sense, unless that's what does it for you, that's fine. But being able to wake up and say, ah, this is the reason I woke up today. Or when you're doing something like washing the dishes or something very menial, to be able to have a moment of gratitude and say, huh, I'm really grateful that I have dishes to wash right now or a house to wash these dishes in. There's this sense of being connected to something outside of yourself. So if you are struggling with depression, if you're struggling with depressive symptoms, the things that you can ask yourself is, what does that look like for me? What do my symptoms look like? And then what are the opposite of those symptoms? Because lack of motivation. The opposite of that is feeling motivated.

Right.

Going back to purpose. A lot of times when we're depressed, we aren't social, we don't go out and do things, we withdraw. And the opposite of that is what? It's connecting with other people so you don't have to go to parties and mixers and be some crazy, extroverted person if that's not your style. But a lot of times that symptom of withdraw, the opposite of that is willing to connect and stay connected to others again, people outside of yourself. So being able to identify, what am I struggling with when I look at depression? In terms of depression, what does that look like and what's the opposite of that? Maybe it's happiness for you, but happiness means a lot of things. So boil it down. And a lot of times what I see is when people struggle with depression or there are symptoms of depression, they are lacking this sense of connectedness and purpose and intentionality in their life, which is causing them to feel more depressed. So that's the opposite of depression in that sense.

Right?

Now let's look at anxiety. The symptoms of depression and anxiety often overlap. And I've talked about this in other podcasts, and you can look it up and you can look at the symptoms. But if someone's talking to me about anxiety and they're saying, I don't want to feel anxious anymore, right. A lot of times what do we identify? Anxiety is this frantic, panicky, out of control, fearful state, this chronic stress overwhelm. All of the things that we think about when we think of anxiety. So what's the opposite of anxiety? Well, we would probably say the opposite of anxiety is feeling calm, feeling at peace, which isn't wrong. Just like the opposite of depression. If we think of depression as sadness, then the opposite of that is happiness. That's not wrong. But there's something deeper there. So the opposite of anxiety, if we're thinking, if I'm anxious, I'd rather be calm and peaceful, that's not wrong. However, when we look at it deeper, how do you feel when you're anxious? I can tell you when my clients are struggling with anxiety, there is an extreme feeling of lack of control, of overwhelm, of there's too much going on, there's too much in my brain, there's too many thoughts, there's too much going on externally. There's too many things happening in my life. There's too many things that I can't control. There's too many things I have to do right. There's too much this feeling of franticness and panic. So the opposite of anxiety, for a lot of my clients, when we dig into this, is a feeling of control. And I don't mean swinging it completely in the opposite direction and feeling like you have to be able to control everything in your life. But the opposite of anxiety, when we look at it in terms of, wow, if I felt less anxious, that would mean that I would feel more in control of my life. And that looks like getting the help you need. That looks like doing things in your day that bring you back to a sense of control and feeling empowered in your own life. That's routine. It's habits. It's choosing things. When you have a choice of what you want to do, instead of feeling like life or something outside of you has chosen it for you. So when we look at anxiety, this opposite of anxiety, again, blanket anxiety, opposite of anxiety, must be calm and peaceful and serenity. And all of the things we think of when we think of the opposite of anxiety. But for a lot of people, that opposite end looks more like feeling way more in control of their life than they do in that more anxious moment. So these are things I want you to think about. Whether you have a depressive disorder, an anxiety disorder, you struggle with symptoms of it. Think about where you are right now, what your symptoms look like, what does that other end of that spectrum look like, feel like? What would life be? How would life be different if I wasn't feeling stuck, overwhelmed, depressed, sad, unmotivated, whatever it might be for you and go beyond, well, I would just be happy or I would just be calm, because again, that stuff isn't wrong, but there's a deeper something to it. It's just very powerful to think about and be able to identify. If I don't like this right now, this feeling, this diagnosis, these symptoms, whatever it might be, there's something so powerful to being able to say, this is how I would rather it be. Right, here's my target, and here's some things, whether you know what to do or you need to have a therapist or somebody help you figure out what it is. Here's some things I can do so that I can figure out how to get closer to that target. But you need to be able to figure out where you're going in complete contrast to where you are right now, being able to identify, here's where I'm at, here's where I'm going, or here's what I'd rather life look like or how I'd rather feel. There is, I'm telling you, there is something very, very powerful to figuring out what point B looks like so that you can say to someone, if you aren't sure, here's where I want to be, here's how I want my life to look, here's how I want to feel, here's what I don't like about it, but here's how I'd rather it be. And what can you teach me to get there? What do I need to do to get there, or what do I need to do to get closer? Because even if you get close, you're still further away from the feelings of anxiety and depression or whatever it is that you're feeling in that moment. Right. Even if we can just take steps toward that target, you're still closer than you were yesterday. Just some things to think about. These are, again, conversations that I have a lot with my clients because they are very, very good at identifying or what they don't like and what the struggle is and being able to put words and verbalize what is going on that is causing them pain. And we need to be able to identify where we want to go, what the opposite end of that spectrum looks like, so that we can figure out how we're going to get there, what those tools look like, how we can get them close, how we can get them moving down that spectrum, away from the feelings that they don't like that they would rather not be feeling in that moment or in that month or at this point in their life. If you have questions or thoughts about this, reach out, send me a DM on Instagram or however you would like to Reach me and I will do my best to answer questions or would just love to hear your thoughts because this can just be a powerful exercise, but it's something ongoing. Anytime I'm struggling with something, I try to spend a little bit of time saying, where am I at? What's going on? What are all the things contributing to what I don't like and what don't I like? And then what? How do I. How would I rather this look right now? Where do I want to be headed? How would I rather feel? And then I can figure out what I'm going to do to get there and what I need to get there. And is there anything outside of myself, people, tools, techniques, books, whatever it might be to help me get out of however I don't like, however to get out of this feeling right now.

Right?

How am I going to do that? So it's something I do, it's something I teach my clients. It's something you can do if you're struggling right now or if you've never thought about it like this. The other thing you can do is text me. Get on my text list, Send the Word Podcast. That's it. Just the word podcast to 630-228-1002 to get on my text list. I'll put you right on. I send a text every morning, Monday through Friday, because I try to take the weekend and I send a tip, a thought, a question, something thought provoking like what I just discussed today to get you thinking about things differently, to get you asking yourself these kinds of questions so that you can think in different directions. Because when we ask ourselves different questions, we get different answers. And in order to be the next version of ourselves, the next level of ourselves, to live happier and healthier, we need to be looking at things probably a little differently. And they can be really helpful because it's just a little food for your brain every morning or whenever you get to it. So send the word podcast to 630-228-1002 and join me over there. I will send you a tip, a thought, some kind of text every morning, Monday through Friday. And again, just keep jogging your mind to think about this stuff a little differently. I will talk to you soon. See you in the next episode. Thank you so much for spending this time with me today. If you loved this episode, it would mean so much if you would share it with someone who you think would love it too. And don't forget to leave a review with your thoughts, what resonated or even what you'd like to hear more of. Because I promise you, if something's on your mind, it's on other people's minds, too. I appreciate your help in getting these messages on mental health out into the world. And until next time, cheers to living a healthier, happier life.