Boost Your Business with Self-Awareness and Emotional Intelligence with Ron Stotts

Have you ever wondered why some leaders seem to effortlessly inspire their teams, drive innovation, and consistently hit their targets while others struggle with high turnover, low morale, and stagnant growth? The secret isn't just in their strategies or their business acumen. There is a deeper, more fundamental issue at play here. When done well, it creates absolute magic. But when it's executed poorly, it's costing businesses millions in lost productivity and in lost profits. And that's what we're talking about today on Experience Leadership.

Welcome to Experience Leadership, a podcast that challenges small business owners and entrepreneurs just like you to dare to be the exception. Join our host, customer experience expert Marc Haine, as he uncovers relevant and timely content to help you script and direct your business and teams to create jaw-dropping experiences your customers and staff deserve. Here is the host of Experience Leadership, author of Lights! Camera! Action!, customer experience expert Marc Haine.

Welcome to this episode. I am your host, customer and employee experience strategist Marc Haine. And today, my guest is renowned executive transformational coach, Dr. Ron Stotz. And today, we will be exploring the essential journey of self-awareness and emotional intelligence required to ensure that your business and your teams are not just surviving, but they're thriving. So, stay with us. If you're here live with us today, feel free to type in a question in the comments. And we'll address them head-on right here, right now. If you're tuning into the replay, first off, I'm sorry you weren't able to be with us live. But go ahead and hammer out your questions or comments and Ron and I will respond to them. I know that as a young manager, many, many, many, many years ago, I struggled with not only trying to figure out my management style, and developing kind of a leader's mindset, my lack of leadership skills caused by the fact that I was promoted, not trained, and having to manage my former coworkers, I, looking back, had a huge skills gap. I struggled to recognize my strengths and my weaknesses, and I lacked the emotional intelligence to be able to see what I needed to do to get better. And so, that brings me to our Question of the Day. As a leader, have you ever felt like no matter how hard you work, you just can't find that magic button that would create the supportive, productive, and happy work environment? I'd love to get your feedback on that. Go ahead and share your experience on social media. Share this, a link to this episode. Hashtag it #ExperienceLeadership and make sure that you comment. And would love for you to be part of this conversation. As I mentioned, my guest for this episode is a master in the art of conscious leadership. Dr. Ron Stotz is a 3-time bestselling author with a PhD in psychology and a doctor of chiropractic. With over 45 years of experience in teaching meditation, Ron has explored the depth of ancient wisdom and the latest in psychological and neurological studies. He has dedicated his career to guiding entrepreneurs and executives towards the highest levels of self-awareness and emotional intelligence. Dr. Stotz is renowned for his ability to transform leaders into visionaries who not only achieve great business success but also create supportive and thriving work environments. Dr. Ron Stotz, welcome to the show!

Oh, thank you very much. That was quite a lead-in there.

Maybe you could tell us a little bit about how you serve your clients.

Well, they mostly come when they're— unfortunately, when there's a crisis or a difficult time or they're running up against something they don't know how to deal with. I'd love to promote myself as, come and create your most inspiring life, but nobody would come. It's like, what is your pain? And then we can take care of that. And that's what catches their interest. And so what I do is really, they're always— the chronic problem is that they're looking outside of themselves for solutions that can only be found within. And they really don't know how. You know, they've since that first when they were born, they started looking outside for love and acceptance from others. And that becomes, you know, their whole enculturation period is consumed by looking outside of who I should be, how I should be, how I should feel. You know, what I should do with my life. And so when they come to me, they've kind of reached that point of they can't go any further doing that. And so we go on that inner journey. You know, one of my mentors, Joseph Campbell, you know, talked about you've got to enter that cave within that you've, you know, to really find the treasure that you seek. That treasure is really yourself. That treasure is, is that unconditional love that every child wanted and every adult still wants.

Hmm.

So, you know, what people come to me with is really finding out how to access those parts of themselves that they didn't know they had, that make them complete, that make them authentic, that make them whole, that allows them to really accept and love themselves in, in that way that they enjoy their life so much more completely.

It's brilliant.

So the journey really is about becoming self-aware, and in that self-awareness, you of course get in touch with your Your emotions, your feelings, and all the different perspectives of being compassionate and empathetic initially with yourself. But then that, of course, resonates and is mirrored in your relationships with others. You become more compassionate and caring for them. So people really, you know, even within a couple of months, they really find themselves being more self-aware, being more emotionally intelligent on levels not of an intellectual awareness of emotion, but on a feeling level, on a really compassionate, deep level that allows them to integrate it into all aspects of their life.

Yes. It's interesting because I could definitely see from what you're talking about how that spins off into leadership roles where we have middle managers, frontline managers, even CEOs who are driven by certain motivations that they can't even define. But before we get into kind of the steps on how we can fix that, I think it's first we need to understand how to recognize it. So, could we start off by defining the prevalent problem that you're seeing in organizational leadership when it comes down to this idea of a lack of awareness?

Well, I kind of give you a blanket sense that most people are really leading from their ego. They're leading from their own personal limitations, challenges, perspectives, and they really don't have a sense of the greater perspective of of who they're leading. You know, I remember back when I was helping AT&T through their transition back in the '80s from monopoly to a for-profit organization. You know, it was just a top-down authoritative leadership stance that didn't really support or allow or encourage people in the management levels and other levels of leadership to come up with new ideas and new thinking. You know, oftentimes there's these kind of urban legends within that organization and others where, well, if you step out of that, you know, box, you step out of what's safe, then you're going to be talked about for the rest of your life and limited. So it's really, yeah, it's a matter of finding that, you know, recognizing that you're not communicating as supportively as you can, recognizing that You're reacting rather than acting in positive ways. It's recognizing that you're having your disconnection within yourself or your level of connection and love for yourself is being mirrored in your disconnection and relationships with others. And that plays out, of course, in your personal life, but in your professional life just as well.

Yeah.

You know, so yeah.

Having grown up as a, you know, as a baby boomer growing up in the workplace and, you know, I think my first job was like 1978. where it was very much a carrot-sticking leadership approach to everything. In fact, I was actually chastised when I got promoted that I wasn't tough enough on people. And when I asked what that meant, it's because you don't yell and scream at people like you're supposed to. But a lot of that leadership kind of habit has kind of evolved over the years. And so, why do you believe now that leaders have a real struggle with this idea of self-awareness and emotional intelligence?

Well, I think back in the '50s, leadership was defined by that authoritative, top-down, you're the boss and everybody's supposed to do what you want them to do. And if they don't, then, you know, out they go. You know, but the culture has changed. We've become, you know, on a cultural level, we've become more sensitive and self-aware. You know, the '60s and '70s began that shift, and it's just continued. You know, you get Goleman writing his book Emotional Intelligence back in the mid-'90s, and, you know, now he's got a new book out that really shows all the research that's been done on that. And lo and behold, if you want to really be more successful, more productive, more profitable, you have to be more emotionally intelligent. You have to be more emotionally aware and really work with your people, support your people. And really learn to bring out the best in them. And yeah, there's so many leaders just didn't recognize before the value that everybody can bring to the work environment. And so that transition's going on, and it's a critical one. I mean, research clearly shows that if you are coming from that more self-aware, emotionally intelligent place, that your organization is going to increase its profits and productivity. By at least 40%. I've got clients that have literally doubled the value of their organizations, and I'm talking about 9-figure businesses and that kind of thing also, within a year because of that internal shift within them, that different come from, that more inviting, bring everybody into it so they feel like they're part of something of value, so they're cooperating and collaborating with each other.

Yeah, you've painted a picture kind of at this level. A closer level towards operations and through the effect that leaders have Are there any signs that one may be lacking in this self-awareness, emotional intelligence, this idea that, you know, you mentioned something about that people had more to do. I firmly believe that we actually limit people with job descriptions because we can't really see the magic that they bring to the forefront. But are there any signs that you see in leadership that people need to know and kind of check a box to say, oh, maybe I am lacking?

Well, I think communication is a big one. You know, are people really hearing you, listening to you, responding to you?

Put out memos every single day. And every time I see people in the lunchroom, I make sure to yell at them.

Yeah. And are you really communicating what the project is, what you need from them, what they need to do so that they can— and are you listening to them? Communication is also a big part of that, is listening. Are you actually listening to them, or are you just listening so that you can talk back to them?

Right.

So, it's lack of cooperation. If you see a lack of cooperation where people aren't getting things done, or they're not on the same page with you, those are all indicators that you're not communicating clearly. So, I mean, I can safely say that every challenge that any leader has come to me, and I've worked with thousands of them, Every time, if we look within, they recognize they're responsible for the problem. They are the solution to the problem. So you can really go across the board, whether it's communication, coordination, collaboration. You know, if you want to make more money, if you want to be more successful, if you want to become a conscious leader and have a good time, you know, that's the way to go these days. And people expect it. I mean, you've got your Gen Zers coming up. They're not going to take all that old crap. They're going to look for where is the most supportive environment where people are connecting and helping one another.

I love what you said, this idea of leaders kind of reflecting into themselves to find out that they are the problem. I find all too often many managers are just finger-pointing and they're blaming everything else. The employees are lazy because they don't want to work the hours. My employees are completely unhealthy because they're always calling in sick. They're not taking initiative. And there's so many different aspects that the leaders are pointing fingers to. And so, what I'd like to know or have a discussion about is how do we define how one looks at their leadership style so that they can see whether or not they're the problem? And we'll get to that right after this. When the spotlight shines on your business, are customers applauding or yawning? In other words, how is your business performing? Make your business a star with a new book, Lights! Camera! Action!, Business Operational Excellence Through the Lens of Live Theater by Marc Haine. Marc uses his business and acting experience to help you see your business like a live show so you can create a performance your customers will never forget.

Buy Lights!

Camera!

Action!

today at your favorite online retailer or directly at marchaine.com. So, you were talking about Having people look inwards. To me, that smacks that for somebody to work with you, they need to have a sense of humility that they are now needing to open up to it. In my experience, when I see different types of leaders and I see all this finger pointing and I see everything that is going wrong that they're perceiving wrong, they're blaming everything but themselves. So, what's the key to the audience tuning in today that they can look at and say, you know what, maybe I am the problem.

It's true for your entire life. Whatever you're struggling with, whatever you're stressing over, is really just an indicator of what is ready to be healed within yourself. So if you're not getting as much out of your employees as you would like, that's just really an indicator that you're not supporting them. You're not making them feel like they're a valued part of something. They're not going to give their all if they don't feel like they're a key in valued part of not only the organization, but any aspect of the work that they're doing. And so, yeah, you really just have to begin to recognize, you know, I'm a sailor, and there's this little thread on the forward sail that we call the— do we call that? It's just an indicator of how the wind is changing. You know, it's the telltale, is the term we use for that. And it tells me, do I need to head up into the wind a bit more, fall off the wind a bit more? Those indicators are what people ignore. They ignore their feelings, which are indicators. They ignore the stresses and the difficulties in their life, which are indicators. And they do, they blame others, they look outside for solutions. And it's unfortunate, they have to get to a level of frustration with that entire process before, you know, they have the humility. You know, I had a fellow, he's got 5 9-figure businesses. And the only reason he came to me was, you know, the love of his life, who had worked with me a couple of years before, left him. And as she was kind of going out the door, it was like, you know, call Ron. And I'll tell you, when I was first talking to him, I was like, do I really want to step into this? But, you know, so amazingly, within, you know, within a month, within 2 months, He had completely shifted. He had fallen in love with himself. He had changed, you know, his whole— redesigning his tactics and redesigning his, you know, businesses. And he fell in love with life, you know. And he still had this pain that his love of life had left him. But I also knew that if he kept making this shift and opening up and connecting and feeling more comfortable with himself and life, that she would more than likely come back. And of course she did, and they got married and are living happily ever after. But, you know, he more than doubled— he's got 5 9-figure businesses. He more than doubled the value of 3 of those within a year strictly because— I mean, I used to row crew in college, and it's like, if I'm in my position and rowing and not paying attention, if I'm not in alignment with everybody else in the boat, That boat's not going forward. You know, we all have to work as a crew to move it forward. And, you know, we were national champions. And so, it was all really, we were all in alignment and focused on the same thing, doing the same thing, and in alignment in support of that, that allowed us to be a winner. And so, as you get yourself initially, but then you get your teams and your organizations in alignment, they have a higher purpose. They have a vision of what they're doing. They feel like they're important and valued part of something. They feel like they're collaborating and cooperating together. That brings them into that alignment and gives them purpose and direction. And that's, you know, it doesn't take rocket scientists to figure out you're going to be more productive and make more money. And everybody's going to be happier. That work-life balance all of a sudden isn't an issue for you. You know, and of course, all these people who go through this work, Yes, they're more successful, and that happens really quite quickly. But all of a sudden they discover, gee, my partner is, is a much better person. My children are acting much nicer.

Wow.

In other words, their entire life changes because they've changed. They've taken responsibility for their life. They're not looking outside for everybody else to give them what they need so they feel better. They've really become a whole authentic person. that not only cares about themselves and takes care of themselves and kind to themselves, but really sees and wants to take care of others.

Right.

You know, my, my whole goal is how do we create a more conscious and caring world? And I think it's the highest level leaders are the ones that can do that because they can have the greatest impact, not only on an organizational level, but on a societal level. And that's a lasting impact.

What I found interesting about what you just said, Ron, is that, you know, as much as in your life you might want other people to change, they're not going to change. However, you just said that, you know, once you start working on yourself, all of a sudden your relationships got better. All of a sudden people around you changed. So I would think that one of the cautionaries is you're not doing this to help other people change. You're doing this solely for yourself.

Yeah. Yeah. The world is— all sorts of things are going to come into your life. And what determines how you're going to be at the effect of those is your level of consciousness. How aware of your own thinking, your feelings, and your awareness are you in at any, any given moment?

Mm-hmm.

The more conscious you are, that determines how you're going to see and experience and react to everything that comes into your life. And if you're in a good place, then you recognize, oh, these things aren't challenges, they aren't difficulties, they're opportunities. They're really just those indicators that I mentioned earlier, indicators of what— there's something in me that's ready to be healed. And that if I know how to look deeper and access that and heal that, then I can access that very valuable part of me that I need to take my life up to the next level.

Fabulous.

And it works every time. Every time.

For those people who are tuned in listening to this, if anybody is tuned in wanting to ask questions, please feel free to drop questions in the comment box. Because you might have questions for Dr. Ron as well. But before we go any further, I think just in case this is resonating with people, how can people get in touch with you?

Probably just my website, doc— excuse me, ronstotz.com. All the information's there. So yeah.

So the link is in the show notes. So feel free to reach out to Ron if you, if you figure this is something that you need help with. This idea of becoming more self-aware, I mean, it's not just a switch all of a sudden that you'll say, okay, just become more self-aware and it'll just happen. Can you explain what this process involves?

Well, it's a bit of a journey that begins with you recognizing that you're up in your head. A lot of people, you know, a lot of high-level leaders are very successful because they have a high IQ. And that high IQ will get you into the right schools, it'll get you, you know, into the right job. But, you know, that doesn't— isn't enough anymore. Now you have to have that self-awareness and emotional intelligence to really keep you going. You know, I think it was recent research shows that CEOs were recommending 3 years ago, about 30% of CEOs recommended that leaders really needed to go through a transformative experience to become the quality leaders that they needed. And now that's those CEOs, and now it's 90% of them are recognizing You've got to become more self-aware. You've got to become emotionally intelligent. IQ will get you the job, but you're losing the job. And a lot of people are being fired because they don't have the emotional intelligence to really maintain and support the community that they're in, the organization that they're in.

So because we're talking in huge, broad strokes here, I know that part of the work that you're doing is that you talk a little bit about this idea of kind of the neurological connection and how effectively that you're talking about rewiring the brain for something that you call whole brain thinking. Can you talk a little bit about that?

Yeah. I mean, the chronic problem is the noisy mind. I mean, pretty much everybody I talk to coming to me or looking, exploring, doing the work, they recognize quite early on that their mind is very noisy. And research shows that people are oftentimes thinking the same thing every day, day in, day out. And they just recycle those thoughts. And of course, that creates a neurological pattern, neurological pathways. So you have to begin to stop. You have to begin to slow that mind down. And to stay up in your head as much as most people do, they also recognize they're not breathing. And so a lot of times it's just a matter of getting them to breathe and look deeper at what they're, you know, what they're feeling, look deeper at what's going on in their life. And as they breathe and look deeper, they become more self-aware just in that moment of what they're feeling and needing and wanting to create in their life. And so it's, you know, it's just getting out of that noisy mind. I mean, quite literally what happens is, as you begin to heal your emotional past and become You begin to really reconnect. The left brain has this really intellectual ability to be specific and linear and logical, but the right brain has this incredible awareness. It just sees everything. It's aware of everything. So you really want to, you know, rather than have those separate, you want them to connect. You want to see your higher purpose. You want to see your bigger vision. You want to see what it is you're creating. But you also want that left brain to have a linear, logical, optimal path to the success in that. And then, you know, the forebrain begins to— as you begin to get that whole brain thinking, you also access your intuition, your creativity, your imagination, and then much, much more.

Hmm.

But as your mind— and as people's going through this work, their mind gets quieter, it gets more focused. They also Begin to— the forebrain begins to develop. Everybody has one and uses it, don't get me wrong, but they quite literally— the forebrain is really designed to be the conscious CEO of your life. And most people, the amygdala, which is the emotional center, fear-oriented part of the brain, that's where they make all their decisions from, is that responsive emotional place. So as you quiet your mind, That forebrain literally begins to blossom and can't blossom. It can't really come into life in a noisy brain. So as you quiet your mind, you integrate your mind, you begin to access that forebrain, you begin to access entirely new perspectives, new levels of thinking, new levels of being. And you also begin to access higher frequencies and better thinking. You know, you see things from a different perspective. Things become opportunities rather than challenges. And, you know, people going through, you know, my entire program— that takes about a year— they're literally getting to a place where they are quieting their mind and trusting that if I can just— I have a— I need a solution, an image, a challenge, you know, I have some challenge.

Mm-hmm.

A design I need, or whatever. They will automatically just quiet their mind and put out that need, that want, that whatever it is they're looking for, and just stay in that quiet place and watch it come in. You know, I have a hobby of creating Japanese gardens, and I had a client, a CEO in San Francisco. This was a ways back in the dot-com period, and I kind of had a side job of creating Japanese gardens. And he found out about it and wanted to create one for his wife. And of course, it had to be a million-dollar Japanese garden, bigger, better, all of that. And I didn't have time because I'm working with all my clients and stuff. So I finally, because of his insistence, said I would. And I just went up behind my home in Mill Valley and sat quietly, put out what I was looking for, the impact I wanted to have. Supporting of the couple that were getting it and watched this incredible, you know, image come in. And 3 months later it was created. We won national, international awards for design and technology and stuff. And, and, you know, you can— in the rapid change and increased complexity of today's business world, you have to be ready. You have to make decisions immediately. You have to respond to everything that's going on. You know, you can't— you're in this river of change that you have to be in touch with and responsive to rather than go, well, I'll check and see what we did 5 years ago. Well, that might have worked before, but it doesn't work any longer. You have to be present enough to really optimize the opportunities that are coming into your life, into your work to be successful.

I love the— from what you were talking about, the intentionality of what what it takes to make it happen. Being able to quiet your mind. I mean, we're in the digital age now where it just seems so— we're just slammed with input nonstop. Our children are being slammed with input nonstop, and we're seeing it's really hindering our, our level of creativity. And I would probably argue that that creativity was something that made us more innovative back in the '70s, '80s, and '90s than probably we're seeing today. Would that be a fair assessment?

Well, the creative department back in the '50s and '60s would have been in the basement in a little closet room. And now the CEO recognizes creativity as their greatest key.

Yeah.

But it's still being limited. I mean, I'm in an incredibly creative organization that I went in and did a couple presentations for. They make movies for kids and things. You might know them. But they sell a lot of cars and other toys as a result of their movies. I'm watching the high-pressure situation that all these creative people are in and knowing that it diminishes their ability to be creative considerably. And so, you know, in my presentation, they began to recognize how much they could unlock their creativity if certain things began to change. And those certain things needed to start with leadership. And as the leadership began to change, they saw the opportunity that it really brought out. so much in people and brought opportunity out. Unfortunately, they changed leadership and it went back into that old style. And they're still making money, but it's not nearly as enjoyable or as creative as it might have been.

Right. So, I mean, we've talked about this. For the people listening at home, is there anything that they could do right now to help tap into some of these ideas? Because this is what you call Big Mind, right? This is your theory of Big Mind?

Well, Big Mind is something you graduate into, but just really just learning to quiet your mind and focus your mind. So whenever something comes up that you're a little uncertain to or challenged around, the first thing you want to do is breathe. And you take several gentle, relaxing breaths, and then you begin to look at your situation. What am I feeling? What's going on? What are other people's needs in this situation? As I'm breathing and looking deeper, of course, I'm being more present and aware. And as I get into that place of curiosity and awareness, I also see, well, this would be my next best step. Might not be the solution, but it's at least I know what my next best step is. And you, of course, take that, you proceed. It's called the STOP process. You stop for a moment, take a few breaths, observe what's going on, and then you proceed. And if you do that, of course, the If you continue to do that day in, day out, and you begin to recognize, oh, I'm becoming more mindful. And in time, you recognize, oh, that is the path to living a mindful life, which really just means a more aware, conscious, successful life.

Fantastic. Ron, why don't you talk a little bit about your book? I know that you have a number of books out there talking about this idea of Overscheduled by Success. Could you talk a little bit about what's in this book, what people can expect if they pick up a copy?

Yeah. I find that a lot of very successful people also have this pet project that they'd really like to do or have done. And it's always sort of sidelined because they're in the busyness of what they've already created and are in the middle of doing. And that, to me, was really the trigger. It's like, so, If you're a good CEO, if you're a conscious CEO, you really should just be supporting others in developing their leadership. So you should be doing less and less because if you're doing a good job as a leader, you're really— everybody else is doing that job. So what I began to recognize is that busyness came out of fear. And as they began to, you know, if they work with me basically and we'd Move into and through that fear, and all of a sudden they'd have more time, they'd have more creativity, they'd have higher levels of confidence and ability. And all of a sudden, that pet project that they never thought they'd get to, you know, a book, an organization, another company, whatever it might be, became something that they were excited about, passionate about, and able to, to create.

Mm-hmm.

You know, that's a side note maybe, but Key is, is that people think they know what they want. You know, I've had people come to me and, you know, they're multi-billionaires, millionaires, and thinking, well, if I just have enough money, then I'll be okay and people love me, or whatever the variation of that is. And of course, they always get to this place of, well, that wasn't it. And so it's doing this inner journey that you begin to heal and your mind gets quiet enough so that you can begin to actually see Well, what is it that I really want to do? What is the purpose that I have? And even what's my highest intention or what's my greatest aspiration? What do I really want to do? What, what would I have to breathe into to become the person who could create that? Once you see that, once you really have that purpose, that sense of direction, again, as a boater, it's like all of a sudden you have a compass heading that you're confident in your life. Once you have that, then it doesn't matter whether things get a little foggy. It doesn't matter whether you get lost a little bit. You know how to come back onto your path and keep on going. And so life is very exciting from that place.

I love—

Go ahead.

I do love your metaphor of the sailing with the compass and kind of like your aspect there, because I think it's very relevant. to kind of how we kind of drive our lives. I think that all too often as leaders, middle managers, frontline managers, that we are heads down doing the work because it has to get done. But what you're suggesting is that there might be this— this is an alternate way of being at work.

70%— there's really a hierarchy of leadership. And what you're really talking about is mid-level leaders who are achievers or experts. And they are. They've got to have their head down. They've got to be getting it done. They've got to get their teams in alignment and accomplish things. But it's really 70% of leaders never go beyond that mid-level of leadership. Only about 10% go into the higher post-conventional levels of leadership. And it really all comes from people not taking the time to get to know themselves, to become more self-aware, emotionally intelligent, I have so many people come to me, well, I'd really like to be the CEO, or I'd like to be this or that, whether they're a C-suite or something else. And it's like that whole idea of the ladder of success is out the window.

Yeah.

It totally is out the window because within months and certainly within a year, I see people developing into the high-level conscious leader where they're making contributions that are being recognized and appreciated and they're being given these new positions and the raises that go along with those and, and the success that comes along, not only for themselves but their organization with that, really makes it undeniable that, uh, you know, you don't have to wait for the right person to notice you. You don't have to climb that ladder. You can, you can create your own life just by becoming authentically an empowered you.

Love that. For people who— I know a lot of business owners who get information like this and they're like, yeah, that's the way I want to be. So I just— that's what we're going to do the next 30 days. We're going to change something. So I'd like to get into some pitfalls and some cautionaries right after this.

Attention meeting and event planners. Is your company or association planning a live or virtual conference, seminar, staff retreat? Are you looking for a fresh, energetic perspective on what it takes to put on a jaw-dropping experience for your customers or staff? Book customer experience expert Marc Haine for your next group event. Past participants have said, Marc kept us in stitches while teaching us how important and powerful actually designing our customer experience can be. Read more testimonials and find out how Marc can serve you and your group at marchaine.com. That's marchaine.com.

Welcome back. I hope you are getting tons of value from today's episode. As you can tell, Ron and I are on a mission to support businesses just like yours. So, if you belong to an organization that could use our help, or you or someone you know, I should say, are planning a leadership retreat, a conference, feel free to drop us a line. Our contact info is in the show notes. We'd love to explore how we could be of service to you and your people. Ron, for businesses and leaders wanting to instigate this change, what do we have to be cautious of? What are some of the pitfalls that we might fall into?

Well, I see a lot of people out there teaching you how to kind of fake it, how to act emotionally intelligent, how to act like you're compassionate and caring. And that'll actually short-term work. But as soon as push comes to shove or a difficult situation comes up, You're going to find yourself falling back into the old patterns. And people, you know, it won't take long before they recognize that you're just faking it and you're not being authentic, and they don't feel safe and they don't perform as well. And so it's really a matter of transformation. That's, you know, yes, I'm an executive coach, but I'm a transformational executive coach. I'm not giving you information so that you can act like I'm really helping you develop and become that authentic whole human being that is the authentic leader that's going to create the results that you want. And you can do that from a place of just absolute confidence and clarity so that, you know, that's a whole different life for yourself. And it's really a tremendous adventure. You know, initially people are a little frightened. You know, it's like, oh, I've got to look, go somewhere I've never been inside myself. It becomes very short, very quickly, this incredible adventure of getting to know yourself. And yeah, everybody really enjoys it. So yeah.

I can understand that, you know, for somebody who's been a certain way for 30, 40 years, that what you're asking them to do is going to feel grossly uncomfortable because, you know, they've been celebrated for being a strong leader, celebrated for getting things done. Now all of a sudden, If we are guided towards kind of there's something missing, because I guess that's the feeling that we're going to have, is not whether or not people are performing or not, but there's something missing in what I'm doing. So going out into that exploration, I can imagine it's kind of like stirring a pot and, you know, all that sediment's coming from the bottom. Is that fair?

I would say that's fair. You know, for me, I kind of was forced into it after I got out of the Marine Corps. So it was, It was either, either jump in or jump out. And, uh, you know, so I jumped into it and explored it quite thoroughly. Unfortunately, there weren't a lot of people to help back then.

Right.

So, you know, now it's a fun adventure. Then it was a scary expedition into the land of the unknown. But, uh, yeah, it's, it's a matter of, are you willing? Are you interested in being curious? Are you interested in feeling more complete? Are you interested in really recognizing that all of your problems are not only challenges, but they're opportunities.

Mm-hmm.

You know, it's just a matter of you're going to change your perspective on who you are, what you're capable of, considerably. And that happens immediately. You know, it's like, you know, that's— I mean, you know, let's just switch to marriage. You know, I mean, what is it, like 50% of marriages don't work? Well, it's just because they're not willing to to work together, and they don't have a bigger vision. They aren't willing to explore their feelings. They aren't willing to, you know, discover and really co-create their life together. And of course, that affects the kids. You know, classic psychology is, you know, everything the father didn't deal with, the kids will have to deal with, their kids will have to deal with. And it's like, wow, you know, it's like What if, what if we're going to be responsible and heal ourselves so that we're not passing all that along to our kids and our grandkids and so on? And not only, you know, take responsibility for that, but know that it's going to change our life dramatically.

Hmm.

You know, I mean, your health, your— all aspects of your life are going to change. You know, you're going to live longer, you're going to live a healthier life, you're going to live a more successful life. You're going to have more joy in your life. You're going to have more deeper connection with yourself, but also with others in your life. All the things that people want, and they're really, you know, within a couple of months, all the blocks to that are gone, quite literally.

Amazing.

I've been doing this, been doing this a long time, so I get feedback 30, 40 years later from people, and it's still how blown away they are of how it impacted their life, and now of course their children's lives and And so on. And so it's, you know, it's a decision to become you. It's a decision.

It's so magical to have somebody like you as a guide to help make that happen. Could you remind everybody one more time how they can get a hold of you if this is resonating with them?

Just ronstotts.com. And, you know, I love to get on a call with people and just like, well, okay, so what do you— what's your biggest challenge? What's your dream come true? What is it you need to shift so that you can create create that? Who do you need to become so that you can, you can have all that you want, that success that you want? And it's really so simple. You know, it's like, you know, I remember I wasn't very good mechanical when I was a kid. I could wash the car really nice and make it look shiny, but the neighbor kid, he, he knew engines and everything else. And I got kind of enrolled by him to change the spark plug wires and a bunch of different things in my mom's car. And of course It wouldn't start, you know, when I got done. And he came over and he just— I had rebuilt the carburetor and a couple things, but all he did was turn this little screw on the carburetor that really regulated the air-gas connection. And it worked great, you know. And that's the beauty of, you know, having done all I've done. You know, when you're wanting to go on this journey, well, I'm just a guide who's been on this journey quite a few times. can make it safe and supportive for you. And so, but it really is, it's just a tuning, a retuning of yourself. And it's just, it's the biggest, it's the greatest gift you could ever give yourself, your family, and your organization.

I love that.

I love that you called it a gift as well. As we wrap up, do you have any last thoughts about what we've been talking about today?

It really comes down to the spiritual journey, the personal growth journey, whatever you want, is really about breathing and letting go, breathing and becoming. And people oftentimes, well, letting go of what? Well, letting go of all the things that you're protecting your heart with, you know, all that armor that you put around your heart to protect yourself. I completely understand. It was probably the right choice when you were growing up, but now it's killing you. And if you want to live fully, you have to open up your heart. You have to open up your mind. You have to be willing to be you so that you can really enjoy the life that you're put here to create and live.

I love that. Ron, thank you so much. I really appreciate you being here, sharing your knowledge, your obvious passion, and your expertise. Thank you so much for playing with me today.

Well, my pleasure. And thank you, everyone.

If you have any questions about today's episode or you'd like a complimentary 30-minute brainstorm session with you and your team, feel free to book yourself on my online calendar. The link is down below. It's the one that's marked meetwith.marchaine.com. As always, I am at your service. And of course, if you want to connect with Ron, his contact information is in the show notes as well. And if you haven't done so yet, why don't you go ahead and subscribe to this feed? Follow me on social media. That way, you'll get content constantly and ongoing. Hopefully, content that helps you put on that show-stopping, jaw-dropping experience that your customers and your employees deserve. My name is Marc Haine. Thank you so much for joining me today. I hope you stay safe, stay healthy, and I hope you dare to be the exception.

Thank you for joining us this week on Experience Leadership. Make sure you visit markhaine.com for a full directory of available episodes. While you're at it, if you found today's content valuable, please share it and tell your friends about the show. As Marc says, knowledge is power, but only if you share it. Be sure to tune in each week for the newest episode. Please stay safe, stay Stay healthy and— Dare to be the exception.