Emotional Intelligence – Trivial or missing piece to your success? with Markus Neukum

Leadership coach Markus Neukomm breaks down emotional intelligence into five components: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. A 2-million-worker study found only 36% of people have self-awareness. Low-EQ leaders show three signs: blame, excuses, and anxiety, which drive turnover and disengagement.
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People don't quit their jobs. They quit their bosses. That has been a running cliché since the '80s. Yet, there's every indication that this is true, especially today. With disengagement at an all-time high and employee turnover costing companies more than ever, what can leaders do to stifle the exodus flow and make employee engagement the rule And not the exception. And that's what we're talking about today on Experience Leadership.
Welcome to Experience Leadership, a podcast that challenges small business owners and entrepreneurs just like you to dare to be the exception. Join our host, Customer Experience Expert Marc Haine, as he uncovers relevant and timely content To help you script and direct your business and teams to create jaw-dropping experiences your customers and staff deserve. Here is the host of Experience Leadership, author of Lights! Camera! Action!, customer experience expert Marc Haine.
Welcome to this episode. I really appreciate you joining us for today's episode. I know how important your time is. And I'm hoping this episode is going to be worth every minute. My guest for this episode is leadership expert Markus Neukomm. And today, we will be talking about how business operators and managers can become more impactful in their leadership roles by leveraging emotional intelligence. So, stay with us and we will uncover how you as a leader can be more impactful in your role and what you can do to tap into Your innate humanity by becoming more emotionally intelligent. My one ask for you is if you know somebody who could use this information in today's episode, please go ahead and share a link. Make sure that you share it because knowledge is power, but only if we share it. Disengagement in our workplaces is at an all-time low. According to a recent Gallup poll, companies in North America are doing a pretty poor job with engagement, especially with our younger workforce. The workforce we need in order to sustain our businesses and our viability well into the future. When every indication shows that managers and leaders are the driving force to tipping the scales to job satisfaction and retention, well, that could be and will be our Question of the Day. What are you doing As a leader to reprogram yourself to be more emotionally intelligent and tap into the relational needs your team is screaming for. I'd love for you to be part of this conversation. Go ahead and share this episode on a social media platform that you prefer and make sure that you hashtag it #ExperienceLeadership and throw your comments and your reactions into the chat while you're at it. I am really thrilled to have today's guest along for the ride. Marcus Newcomb is an inspiring and results-driven leader, executive coach, business strategist, and CEO of Marcus Newcomb International with extensive experience as a senior executive. He feels that creating sought-after leaders with above-average levels of critical thinking, self-belief, and a sheer determination can make a huge difference in our workplaces today. He believes that as a leader, You may be surprised to discover that the number one challenge you are facing today has been staring you in the face for years. Markus, welcome to the show!
Thank you so much, Marc, for having me.
Before we get into today's topic, could you just tell us a little bit about how you serve your clients?
I help my clients become more effective leaders. My goal is For them to become better at communication in terms of their needs, and especially with those they work for them and they work with. So that's in a nutshell what I'm doing.
Wonderful. So are you really working with like the C-suite leaders? Are you working with middle managers? How do you drive your business model?
The majority I work with C-suite leaders and I have a hard project, and that's women leaders. So, in women leaders, I definitely work throughout the whole scale from, let's say, mid-managers to C-suite level.
Wonderful.
But I just realized, Marc, that working with C-suite leaders is so crucial because, you know, leadership comes from the top, right?
Absolutely. Everything starts at the top, doesn't it? Hey, so, we're talking today about— we're taking a little bit of a twist today because I've talked about employee engagement, retention, and attraction in many different forms on this show. But today, we're really talking a little bit about the role of emotional intelligence within the confines of being able to engage and keep people on. I mean, when you see that graph that I started with, I mean, that statistic is absolutely shocking. Why do you think that this topic is so important today?
I would say that the whole pandemic very much helped to that. You see, I would say we had this disengagement problem for quite some time. However, I would say once employees realized there is more to life than just work, I would say what really happened is, and as you said it before, employees leave the companies to get away from their managers. I don't think they're leaving their jobs. They're really leaving their managers. And let's be honest, the last thing an organization wants is to be dealing with right now or ever is attrition. So, high employee turnover is costly in the best of times. Right now, what organizations are doing is they're focusing on streamlining operations, which directly impacts profitability. And so few actually think about the real problem that's behind it. So I would just say so many employees simply had it.
Yeah. You know, you go from here to here to here.
Yeah.
Before we get too deep into our conversation, could we please define what emotional intelligence is?
Emotional intelligence is basically understanding your own emotions, is learning to deal with your emotions. And helping others to deal with yourself and with them. I would actually like to show you emotional intelligence in a little bit of a different way. As we know, it comprises of 5 different aspects. But I don't want to talk about the aspects. I actually want to show scenarios. And I want to quickly show how high EQ people react versus low EQ people. Because you see, let's be honest, we heard all so much about emotional intelligence, but still not much has changed. Okay. So let me give you a scenario for self-awareness. You and your colleague were on the same promotion, but they got it instead of you. High EQ, you reflect, you realize that if you're being honest with yourself, you weren't working as hard as your coworker, and their promotion might be really well deserved. That's high EQ. Low EQ, you may fire off an angry email to your boss demanding an explanation or even threatening to quit. So that's self-awareness number 1. Self-regulation. Imagine you're in a meeting and a boss criticizes you in front of your coworkers. High EQ, you maintain composure, then politely excuse yourself to process your emotions in a safe environment. Low EQ, you may become defensive and storm out of the office. Which brings us to number 3, motivation. And, you know, I always like to choose a little bit between, or to differ between work and life because, you know, we have both. So let's imagine you passed an exam and posted about it on social media. High EQ, you are proud of yourself for the goal that you achieved and You basically appreciate any support that you get. Low EQ, you may question your success or worth because your post didn't get as many likes or love, right? Which brings us to number 4, empathy. Imagine your roommate tells you that it hurts his or her feelings when you forgot to take out the trash, which you agreed to. High EQ, you explain why you dropped the ball. And tell them you understand why they're hurt. Low EQ, you find it difficult to understand why they're so upset and feel attacked by their criticism. And lastly, social skills. The scenario is you're on a date and it doesn't seem to go so well. High EQ, you ask open-ended questions, maintain good eye contact, and Very much you practice active listening. Low EQ, you may actually stop paying attention and decide there must be something wrong with your date. So I'm sure you agree that if we look at these 5 with the examples, we see these things day in, day out at our workplaces as well as in our lives.
Sure. So how much of what we're talking about is inward-facing versus outward-facing?
May I ask you to rephrase this question?
Sure.
Because I don't really understand you now. Sure.
So, how much of this is an internal driver versus being a reflection of being us trying to reflect what we're trying to do on the outside? So, for instance, just before we got on the call, I mentioned to you about a manager I had way back in the late '70s and how he taught me a really good lesson of how not to be a leader because His thing was he thought he was powerful. He thought he was in control. But really, when you're thinking about it, we know that people act a certain way because maybe they're feeling insecure, maybe they're feeling inferior. How in tune do leaders need to be between what they want to project and what they're reflecting on the inside?
I would say very much. And usually, I can give you a kind of different answer. Quite often, the whole conversation about emotional intelligence is driven by outside scenarios. Either I don't get the results I want, and I realize I have to change, or as you explained it, you had this experience, and you said, I don't want to end up like that. So, there must be a different way, right? But what I highly recommend to the leaders, especially to the ones listening to us, It's actually thinking about, gosh, why do I have to get to the point where I lose my best people first? Why not actually start an intrinsic process and say, it must be worth it to really start studying this emotional intelligence because it really is a key.
To your point, when you were talking about the 5 elements, a lot of what leaders, in my experience, tend to do is they tend to be pointing at other people for the problems. They're pointing to the new generation not being engaged because they're lazy and all they want to do is play video games and listen to and watch YouTube. And so there's an awful lot of this going on. And, you know, that I love that quote about when you're pointing at one person, you got 3 fingers pointing at yourself. So it takes a level of kind of self-awareness to be able to understand that you have this flaw, that you are kind of blaming everybody but yourself. I mean, when it comes down to people understanding how they feel, I mean, aren't they connected? Can't they, can't they recognize how they're feeling?
It's a very interesting question you ask. And you see, when I did my research some time ago, I came across a shocking number and it actually came from Travis Bradbury, the famous emotional intelligence guru. He conducted the research with 2 million workers, which is quite representative. And what was so shocking, Marc, is they found out that only 36% are actually aware of what they are feeling and how they are feeling. Imagine that, 36%. And I believe they didn't even dare to go a step further and ask how well can they read somebody else's feelings.
Right.
Wow.
So, when you think about that, that's 1 in 3 people. Like, if you're in a room with 3 people, only 1 person statistically will be engaged in how they— in understanding how they feel. It's really interesting because as I kind of evolved in leadership over the years, I had never been trained in leadership. It was something that I got promoted and then I got promoted again and kind of— and I learned through making mistakes. And one of the things that I realized a lot of times, especially when it came down to conflict, is a lot of conflict really revolved around The fact that at some point somebody's feelings were hurt. And this is something that we stop somewhere around after we get into high school or something. We stop talking about our feelings. How does one then turn around and get more in tune with that? I mean, if, again, if we're in this delusional state where we're always blaming people from outside, what is the mechanism that's going to help me turn it around so I can actually investigate myself? I asked very simple questions, by the way, Markus, in case you—
Yeah, I can tell. I can tell. And you see, this is a question I always ponder because I don't think there is one way. If I reflect on my previous clients and current clients, I don't think there was one determinator throughout the whole roster of people. As it is with us humans, we have to have enough pain, we have to suffer that we actually even start thinking like, goodness me, could something be wrong with my approach? Because, you know, finger-pointing, right? So, I believe that is literally the first step for someone to realize Something is wrong and I might be, you know, just might be, for the people listening right now, just might be a little part of the problem. And then actually have the desire to go deeper and especially wanting to change how the situation is.
Makes perfect sense. And in past episodes, we talked about the value of having coaches. And this is one of the ways I think that people can get a reflection is by using a coach, by using a third party to be able to help that. Because again, it takes a lot of intentionality to pause in the middle of a crisis to say, how am I feeling about this and why am I reacting the way I'm reacting? Right at the top of the show, I mentioned engagement rates. Aside from employee engagement rates, are there any other indicators that you think leaders may see that may disconnect themselves from their teams? Like, are there other— aside from that engagement piece, is there anything else that if a leader was aware of, he could go, oh, okay, there's a sign. that I'm disengaged or that my team is disengaged because of my reaction?
I actually see 3 signs. And that's something which I've seen over my 20 years of doing what I'm doing. There's a lot of blame, there's a lot of excuse, and there's a lot of anxiety. So, these are the 3 determinators which I observe all the time. And what's really interesting, it is based on negative emotions and perceptions. Most likely, you'll be able to observe behavioral issues with yourself and with your employees. And the one which is very evident is poor communication. And you see, like, if we look where that ends, it's reduced productivity, which I'm sure that our listeners and viewers totally know what I'm talking about, lower performance. And as we said, the number 3 is definitely the high attrition.
Yeah. And so, these are— and part of the challenge I think that we have as business owners is that we look at stuff and we're always looking at kind of lag measures, right? We're looking at the high attrition or the lack of engagement. And we're pulling out our hair going, I don't understand why people just don't do what they're supposed to be doing. And I don't know why they're not taking more initiative and all. But that is actually an indicator. Those are symptoms of a bigger problem. That the fact that people aren't being engaged or aren't stepping up and taking initiative is really the kind of gushing wound that resulted from something else.
And you see what's really— what is really interesting, Marc, is if I look why people knock at my door and want help, I don't think I remember one incident where they came and said, I want to grow my emotional intelligence level. Never. So, they came to me either with performance issues or behavioral issues. And there is this one person that just comes to mind, a young manager, a little bit younger than me, and he was sent by the head of HR. He reached out to me and said, Mr. Newcomb, we have this really talented guy. He's excellent at what he's doing. Nevertheless, we will fire him if you can't help him. And wow, I was a little bit surprised and asked him, what's going on? And he said, you should see, he doesn't seem to have empathy at all. Employees are either complaining a lot or they actually have resigned already, either silently, but even worse, the best actually have resigned and left the company. And I was so taken by this opportunity to have actually invited that guy for the lunch because I wanted to experience him in real life. And it was interesting. I gave him some feedback, let's say mid-lunch. And I said to him, look, you are aware of that if I can't help you and if we can't work together, you will lose your job. And he said, yes, I am. And then I actually started mirroring a little bit what I experienced with him and what I learned before. And after that lunch, I went to the office, called that HR manager and said, yeah, I actually believe we can bring this guy around. And we did. He became one of the best people leaders this company has ever seen because he realized, gosh, the problem is me. And let's be honest, that is the hardest thing for us managers to admit, look into the mirror and say, it is me. But it's the best news. We don't have to wait to get better employees. We don't have to wait to get a better boss. It is us. And you see, that's why I am so passionate about this topic, because I don't have to talk to a wife and the husband. I can talk to the husband or to the wife, and the situation changes. So, I just wanted to share with you that experience.
It is magical. You mentioned that the employee ended up being one of their best leaders later on. And I would argue not only did you train, not only did we take the time to train this person to be more empathetic and to have more emotional intelligence, we took the time to train. We took the time to intervene because it is so easy so quickly to turn around and say, so-and-so is not doing their job. Just fire them. And we give up on people. And to me, that's such a big challenge, right? And I have a similar story.
It's normal today, right?
Yeah, it's like it's an expendable commodity, right? That is like, it's a person. I don't like her. I'm going to fire her. And I have a similar story of a young server who started up with me and the first probation, first 3. And she was a Type A personality. She was great with her customers, but with her coworkers, she was domineering. And we sat down, we talked about it, and she worked on it. And I was so happy when I came to 3 months, less a day, and said, congratulations, you passed probation. And she was ecstatic. Wow. Amazing. And she ended up staying with the company for over 10 years. But it just was this idea that you address what the issues are, you understand where people are coming from, and then you take the investment time of investing your time with them. And magical things will happen. And it's so phenomenal when I hear your story matching up so well with my story.
It is brilliant.
It really is. And I can't fight that enough with owner-operators about the value of time, the value of training, and how we can turn people around. But I'd like us to tap into some really new strategies that leaders can take today. Well, not new. But Strategies that leaders can take today to boost their level of emotional intelligence. And we'll get to that right after this. When the spotlight shines on your business, are customers applauding or yawning?
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I am speaking with leadership expert Markus Neukomm. Markus, can we talk a little bit about how the demands of leadership has changed since the pandemic? Has it changed significantly, do you think?
It has.
In what sense?
Who changed and what changed is The mindset of employees. I've been in business for 20 years, and I talk to C-suite leaders and middle managers day in, day out. And what they tell me is there has been an awakening taking place in the employee ship. It's almost like the pandemic has provided them with an out, with a timeout, really, to reflect. And Employees, whether they actually realize it or not, I believe an emancipation has taken place. Before, it was like, I tell you, you do. And the question was only, how high shall I jump? And now, people suddenly start questioning, like, why? What for? And you see, I actually like to interject a little example, which I had actually many years ago.
Yeah.
I was called by the HR from a police commando, and they had the lowest feedback ratings ever. And when I got there, you know, I was about to talk about feedback. And I said to myself, no, they don't have a feedback problem. They have something totally different. And I actually looked at the ages, and I realized more than half of the whole commando was below 35 years old, I believe. And when I started my presentation, I told them, guys, the question is not when— sorry, is not if, the question is when you as a management have to change. And that was almost like a foreboding in terms of what's coming now. Because I'm pretty sure those managers, they are prepared now after the pandemic because they learned what it's all about.
Yeah.
But there are so many managers right now, they're absolutely taken by surprise. Remember those people standing in front of a tsunami? This beautiful wave came towards them, and they suddenly realized, gosh, this is not a joke. It's not going to stop just in front of me. It's taking me with them. And you see, when you ask me, what can someone do? I really came to the point, Marc, that after 20 years of working with leaders, I don't think it is actually very easily possible to do it on your own. I believe the development of emotional intelligence is really something one should do with a trusted advisor, with a coach, because the reflection, the mirroring is extremely important. So, yeah.
Well, that and mastermind groups. Mastermind groups are a really great way. We have in Canada, we have Tech Canada. In the United States, there's Vistage. These are great organizations to get together with CEO peers or management peers from different industries so that we are able then to have outside forces, to your point, reflect and mirror kind of what we're experiencing. And only then can we actually look at it. Because as long as we're stuck in our little cubicles and our little world, I have a belief system that all of us are surrounded with bubbles. And my bubble is purple. And there are some things that will meld very well with my bubble and other things that will clash. And if we understand it, if we know it, if there's some way of reflecting that back, then my goodness, the magic can happen, right?
Yeah, great.
When we get emotional intelligence right, aside from the fact that we might have happier people, are there any other spin-off benefits to one's leadership effectiveness? When we're on point?
I would say all the negatives which we've talked about before, high attrition suddenly becomes in people staying in the company. Low performance suddenly becomes high performance. Negative culture suddenly becomes a culture everybody wants to work in. And what is really interesting, the managers especially who work on their emotional intelligence, They get less stressed. And what's interesting, it improves their sleep, which is a huge problem today, as we both know.
Yeah. Is there anything that emotional intelligence needs to be balanced with? Because I can't imagine that necessarily emotional intelligence is the magic bullet for all our ailments. Is there other things that we need to include along with emotional intelligence as we're trying to develop ourselves?
I've given that question quite some thought. And I came up with 3 things which really help. One of them is practice mindfulness. And mindfulness, personally, I'm an avid meditator. And I can tell you since I started my day with meditation, my life entirely changed.
Hmm.
So, this is something which I highly recommend to my clients to have like a 5-minute meditation. This really, really helps in terms of mindfulness. The second one is learn to accept feedback, and he said, without becoming defensive. And the third one is, and that's something I believe quite many managers and leaders who listen to us most likely do already, is use one-on-ones and downtime for yourself. And You see, in the end, I really am a proponent of emotional intelligence is really the key. It is not a fad. It is not a nice-to-have. I believe it is really a key. So even if someone doesn't do anything else, if they start with emotional intelligence, I can almost promise their lives will change.
It's kind of like the beginning of a snowball, right, going down a hill. Right? If that emotional intelligence is the beginning, is the foundation to it, and then you just let it go, all sorts of good things will surround it. This is fascinating, Markus. If people are listening to this and saying, you know, you're right, I need to do a check-in, I need to maybe connect with somebody, how can people get a hold of you if they want to pick your brain or do some work with you?
Yeah, I would love if someone would like to do that. So what they can do is they can go on my website. It's Markus Newcomb. That's M-A-R-K-U-S-N-E-W-C-O-M-B. K-U-S-N-E-U-K-O-M dot com, or they can connect with me on LinkedIn. Just go on LinkedIn and put in M-A-R-K-U-S-N-E-U-K-O-M Marcus Newcomb. I'm the only one with Marcus Newcomb, and I would love if someone would like to connect. And if they get to my website, what they can do is they'll find on the about page they'll find a button. where they can register for a free 20-minute inspiration consulting with me, which is basically a friendly conversation to see where they're at. And yeah, maybe to see how they can learn, develop, and apply their emotional intelligence.
Love it.
I'll be very happy to do that.
Love it. I think that's— and what a great investment of time as well. Hey, I think that we are pretty much sold on the benefits of emotional intelligence. When somebody is looking at making the change? What improvements can they make today and work on today to improve the emotional intelligence and make themselves a more effective leader? How do they hold up that mirror?
Right. I would say, start observing. Because you see, people are our mirrors. Most likely, we don't want them. But especially in that situation, we should very much welcome those mirrors. And I always tell my clients is start having conversations with your peers, especially if you're in leadership and management. Start talking openly with your trusted advisors in the company who know you. Start talking with people who you trust in your private life. And yeah, dare to ask questions to your employees as well. Because, you know, all the answers are there. And I need to know what I'm dealing with, right?
Yeah, but it takes a lot of humility to be able to do that though as a leader, right? And I think when you look at the kind of baby boomers and the Gen Xs, we're shaking the tree of kind of how they were brought up in leadership. And for somebody to turn around and say, it's okay for me to be vulnerable. It's okay for me to go to my staff and say, I don't have all the answers. It can be a real challenge.
Yeah.
And it might be actually shocking for employees as well.
It's true. Yeah.
Because, you know, so many people rely on a boss who knows everything. It's almost like how we relied as kids on our parents to know everything.
Right.
I remember, I don't know if you remember, when I realized my parents don't know everything. That was earth-shattering for me at first.
Well, that was earth-shattering for me as well. I remember being a young leader going, oh, I'm looking up at my boss. It's like he's got all the answers. And it's like, I can't wait until I know all the answers. And then I got higher up. And it's like I had another boss in front of me. And then I get to this thing now, I'm 61 years old. It's like, when am I ever gonna have all the answers?
That's exactly it. You see, this actually just reminds me of something. When I studied the work of Travis Bradbury, he once said that the higher up you go, do you think that emotional intelligence level increases or decreases?
I would hope it would increase, but Chances are it probably doesn't, does it?
It decreases. Yeah, it stops at mid-level manager. Think about that. The higher up you go— and you see now why I love to work with C-suite people. Yeah, yeah, because they are depending on that fact, literally.
Now, when we're talking about emotional intelligence, I do know that there's some personalities out there who will think about this idea and think, you know what, I cannot rob myself of my authority. What we're talking about here, we're not talking about weakening our stance as a leader or compromising our standards, are we?
No, it's actually the opposite. And you see, without being too testy, very often the so-called perceived authority is rather a pseudo-authority. And you mentioned vulnerability before. I remember when I had a boss who dared to be vulnerable. When I had a boss who dared to say, I don't know, I need help. I need support. That actually raised his level of authority in everyone's eyes. And he actually is my role model still. And when I work with my employees, my staff, this is what I always do. I remember him thinking, my authority level actually rises into a true authority and not into a pseudo or hierarchy-founded authority.
It's almost like we push people from the formal authority to the moral authority. We build more trust, and we start tapping now into kind of more of a soulful kind of parameter of leadership.
Yeah. And you see what's really interesting, if someone really has to execute his authority in that way, most of the times when I look back to the people I worked with, they either had low self-confidence, Low self-esteem, or, and that's actually the most challenging one, they suffered from imposter syndrome. And I can tell you, Marc, I have never seen as much imposter syndrome since I work with C-suite people because they have so little feedback. And they sit in their office in the evenings and say, goodness me, I am having these 1,500 employees. who I'm responsible for, how can I even do it?
Yeah. And again, I think it's that whole idea of those expectations as people grow into their leadership roles that it's like, I'm now jumping into this position where I'm supposed to have all the answers. But, you know, I was just talking to a client, like, literally a day before yesterday about the importance of going from transactional leadership to relational leadership, where it's no longer this thing of Do this work, I'm gonna pay you. You're gonna do X number of hours, I'm gonna pay you, so on. It's more now, it's more about this thing that we're engaging people's hands, their minds, and their heart. And in order to do that, we have to kind of become more of their coach rather than their manager. Is this all part and parcel of emotional intelligence and becoming more effective?
I believe it totally is. And you see what's really interesting to see, there are people who separate between management and leadership.
Mm-hmm.
I'm a proponent of saying you have to be as well as, because otherwise you'll fail. And what is really interesting, if someone starts working on emotional intelligence, I believe the self-reflection is literally the part where they start looking at themselves, start seeing how they interact with other people, how other people interact with them. And it is literally, as you said, it's this little piece of snow, which starts rolling down and becomes bigger and bigger and bigger. And the thing which I love the most is when emotional intelligence literally becomes an avalanche. Literally an avalanche. That's the most beautiful thing.
Yes.
I'd love to talk to you about some cautionaries about leading in this new era, leveraging emotional intelligence. And we'll get to that right after this.
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Welcome back! As you can tell, Marc Haine and I are passionate about helping entrepreneurs and business managers just like you. If you belong to an industry association or an organization that is planning a conference, a leadership retreat, and you feel that we could Maybe be of service, why don't you drop us a line or do a connection request? Our details are in the show notes. We would love to hear from you. And to Marcus's point, we are here to support you. Marcus, this has been such a great discussion. When it comes down to this idea of, you know, people wanting to adopt some new behaviors and some new, new ways of being, are there any cautionaries we should be aware of as people want to make kind of this transition or this— Yeah, there indeed are.
Because you see what's really interesting, when you embark on that journey, you might suddenly become, how can I put that, like overzealous. So, there's a danger of actually losing your cool. And that is not a good thing. Because, you know, you feel like you have it. And then you suddenly realize, oh gosh, I'm not there yet. So, don't lose your cool. I have a 3-step thing which really helps. It's called STOP. It's stop walking, stop talking, pause, and count to 3 before responding. The second one is DROP. Take a deep breath to oxygenate your blood and especially your brain. And the third one is ROLL. Assess the situation and especially start considering the other person's point of view. And in the end, choose how to respond instead of blindly reacting as we so often do. So that's the first one, lose your cool. The second one is, especially if you start embarking on the emotional intelligence journey, you feel like a novice. So don't let failure get you down. Learn from the mistakes and the disappointments because you will make mistakes, you will be disappointed. That's a clear thing. So, keep your eye on the long-term prize, not the quick win. And the other thing which I often observe is shying away from conflict. It's very important that we are dealing with the issue as they arise because, you know, it will save you both time and money managing your team and getting issues resolved. And as we said before, it fosters trust at your workplace. And I believe it's an important currency, trust. And one more I'd like to add is saying yes to everything. You might be tempted to saying yes to everything. It's a warning. Being emotionally intelligent does not mean you are a people pleaser or a yes woman or a yes man. If you don't agree, say so. Literally say so. So these are the cautionary things which I experience day in, day out. I love it.
And to your point about just say so, we're not saying you need to rob yourself of your voice. We're not saying you have to lower your standards. We're saying that we have to be more proactive maybe in addressing how we're feeling and making sure that everybody's on the same page. This has been such a great conversation, as I knew it would be, Markus. Do you have any last thoughts about what we've talked about today as we wrap up our episode today?
Remember, the great thing is about emotional intelligence, it's a skill that can be learned and developed. Yes, very few are blessed with coming to this world with a high level of emotional intelligence. But unless IQ, which actually remains more or less with you at a level, EQ can be learned. Emotional intelligence can be learned and developed. And Look, I'd like to address our viewers and listeners. As leaders, your employees look to you to establish important parts of your team's culture, from communication habits to the willingness to take ownership of your own mistakes. You are a role model. And what I'd like to do is I would like to finalize once again with those 3 steps. Practice mindfulness to develop self-awareness. The second one, learn to accept feedback without becoming defensive. And the third one, use one-on-ones and downtime with your clients and with your employees to develop empathy and start mentoring employees.
Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. I want to thank you so much for sharing your passion and your expertise with us today. Could you just remind everybody one more time how they can get Yeah, my pleasure.
Either coming to my website, which is markusneukom.com, M-A-R-K-U-S-N-E-U-K-O-M.com, or simply connect with me on LinkedIn, LinkedIn Marcus Neukom. And it's my pleasure. And as I said, I would love to have that 20-minute free inspiration call with you where we can talk about how you can learn how to develop and apply That emotional intelligence.
Love it! That's so great, Markus. Thank you so much for being my guest today. It is just as enthralling and insightful as I knew it would be. Thank you for joining me today.
Thank you so much for having me, Marc.
Why don't you let me know if this was of value to you? As always, my offer stands. If you would like 30 minutes of my time to brainstorm your business or your business challenges with you and your team, Feel free to book yourself on my online calendar. The link is down below in the show notes. It's the one marked meetwith.marchaine.com. It would be my absolute honor for me to be of service to you. And while you're at it, why don't you go ahead and leave a comment or review about this episode? I'd love to get your feedback. Was this of value to you? At the same token, do you have any topics you'd like me to address? address on this show. I'd love to hear from you. Thank you so much for joining me today. My name is Marc Haine. I hope that you stay safe, you stay healthy, and you dare to be the exception.
Thank you for joining us this week on Experience Leadership. Make sure you visit marchaine.com for a full directory of available While you're at it, if you found today's content valuable, please share it and tell your friends about the show. As Marc says, knowledge is power, but only if you share it. Be sure to tune in each week for the newest episode. Please stay safe, stay healthy, and dare to be the exception. Thank you.










