From Self-Sabotage to Superconscious Leadership

Have you ever felt like you're doing everything right in your business but something's not right? You're still not growing the way that you should. Like there's something invisible slowing you down no matter how hard you push. I have to tell you, that's not a marketing problem. That's not a hiring problem. That's not a cost problem. It's an inner block. And that's what we're talking about today on Marc Haine Live. Welcome to this episode of Marc Haine Live. Of course, this is where small business owners and entrepreneurs pick up some core skill sets to create the show-stopping, jaw-dropping experience that your customers and your employees You deserve. I am your host, Customer and Employee Experience Strategist Marc Haine. And today, my guest is the Superpower Activator, Victoria Shakour. And in this episode, we're going to be lifting the hood on the subconscious blocks that are quietly derailing your decisions, draining your energy, and keeping your business stuck in first gear. So, stay with us. And if you know anybody who could use this information, please be generous and share a link to this episode. And if you haven't done so yet, please do make sure that you subscribe to the podcast. That way, you'll get notifications each and every week when I bring you fresh new content like today's content because it's going to be exciting. We got lots of good stuff for you. You know, I know that you have built a business. You've hired people. You've launched offers. And yet, something still feels stuck. You compensate by raising prices. You scale your team. But nothing seems to work. Did you know that there is something that shapes every decision that you make every minute of every day? And that brings us to our Question of the Day. So, what self-talk or limiting identity, like things like, oh, I'm not worthy of this, or I don't deserve recognition. What kind of talk like that is secretly steering your business decisions so that instead of expansion, you're staying in the safe lane. You're staying in the slow lane of your development. If this question hits close to home, then you are in the right place. I encourage you to drop comments and questions below in the comments. And if you're really— if this really resonates with you, go ahead and share this episode on your favorite social media platform. Hashtag it #ExperienceLeadership and be part of this conversation. I read all the comments. So, as I mentioned, today's guest is Victoria Shakour, otherwise known as the Superpower Activator. Where's your cape, Victoria? Victoria is a mindset coach, an intuitive healer, and transformation strategist who specializes in helping high-achieving women break free from their subconscious sabotaging identities so that they can lead and scale with clarity and purpose. A mother, A grandmother. She started really, really young. She's a spiritual student and a survivor of deep trauma. Victoria brings hard-earned wisdom, soft presence, and razor-sharp insight into every conversation. She's twice certified in mindset coaching and has led workshops in her community, hosted a radio show, authored books, and is deeply passionate about helping women detach from limiting self-beliefs. so their higher selves could step in and rule the world. Victoria, welcome to the show. It's so great to have you.

Thank you, Marc.

I'm so happy to be here.

Thank you so much.

I'm so honored to be of service to your audience.

I love it. Thanks so much. And you use the magic word, service. That's one of my core virtues and my core value. Let's start off. First of all, maybe you can dig in a little bit into who your clients are and how you serve them.

So yeah, sure.

My clients are high-powered, what I call high-powered professional women.

And the reason being is because I was one of them. And what I do is just guide them to support and guide them. To going from just functioning, from burnt out. And you know how CEOs and entrepreneurs, these women are feeling, they're feeling burnt out, overwhelmed, stuck. And so I take them from feeling like that to moving with precision. Calm precision is what I say, and clarity. So when their mind feels like there's 47 tabs open with no music, I'm the calm cursor.

It comes in and guides them to be calm about things and get things done in less time because they know what to focus on, take aligned actions, and then get things done.

Nice, nice. I, you know, and it's not just women that that happens to. Like, I have 47 tabs going in my brain at any one time. Walk into a room and then completely forget why the heck am I here? There's a reason. I just can't remember it.

Uh-oh!

So, I know, right? So today, we are talking about a challenge that most people don't even realize that they have. Can you talk a little bit about that? What it looks like?

So yeah, one of the challenges that people have, well, there's 2.

There's negative programming as well as, um, as well as some childhood traumas that we walk around with and carry with us since childhood. And what happened was because of these traumas and negative programming, we created identities that to either protect ourselves from these traumas or chaos or programming, Or to make sense of it.

And so whether the trauma was personal or whether it was observing, we created an identity to deal with it as children. And so trauma doesn't always have to be personal. And the programming usually is.

Trauma doesn't necessarily have to be personal.

You can witness trauma.

Sure.

And code up an identity to make sense of that and to protect your heart from it.

The thing is, as we get older, we forgot that we did that.

That's how powerful we are.

It's really a testament of how powerful we are as divine beings, because we even do it as adults, but it just doesn't affect us as much as it does in childhood because we're closer to source in our childhood than we are as an adult because we get programmed as we get older.

So, yeah.

So, would it be fair to say that as children, we lack control over kind of the inputs. Whereas adults, sometimes we can just use logic to help offset them. But sometimes, even that logic is skewed, isn't it?

Yes. We usually do. We use logic, but what it's called is perspective, right? We call it perspective, how we're looking at things. And really, when you go deeper though, is what story are you making up about that?

Mm-hmm.

What feeling is that conjuring up within you?

And a lot of times that's relating back to the identity that you created. in your childhood. So that identity is actually communicating with you unbeknownst to you.

Could you give an example of what that would look like?

So it may look like, for instance, somebody gives you a compliment and you say, you know, oh, you really look nice today. Oh, this old dress, you know, or I didn't even put any makeup on.

It's like you want to You want to give an excuse as to why you don't deserve that compliment. And so that to me speaks the language of undeserving.

So to me, that's—

when I hear that, I hear an identity playing out saying, I'm undeserving of that.

Hmm.

Anything good, anything that's going to make me feel good, or, or what have you.

Another way that that plays out is if you're constantly busy and you just don't know how to relax, or you feel like, you know, I don't— I'm not supposed to take time off or just sit for a minute, constantly being busy.

Well, that tells me, okay, this person either grew up in a household where it's very chaotic, or they had a programming either from a teacher or a parent, could have been from somebody. Mm-hmm.

that says, what are you doing? What are you doing sitting there? Go over here and do this and do that. And so now it's a programming of, no, I can't do that. I got to keep busy. So it looks real normal just looking at it.

It looks normal.

But sure, yeah, it's a programming that's being played out.

Well, you just spoke right to my heart because I was brought up by— so I'm first-generation Canadian, and so my parents came from Europe. My father was very strict about our time. And I remember when you said that, I remember a specific time when we must have been 7 or 8 years old. And we got caught watching a cartoon. It was a half-hour cartoon.

Oh!

And my father gave us the whole lecture about, that's a half hour you'll never get back. You just wasted that 30 minutes and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And today, I have a really hard time. I can't, if I'm not doing something, I have like a really lousy day. If I'm not productive, I don't feel like I've had a good day. So, you've just spoken to exactly the buzzing, the little bugs in my brain. So, there you go.

And it's only a problem, Marc, when it's affecting you, when it starts to affect your friendships, your life, your personal life, your health. Because these things actually spill over into your health.

And but it affects you spiritually before it affects you physically.

Yeah. So, when it comes down to these mindsets, because half the time we don't know. We said it at the top of the show. You don't know that you have a problem. Are there any signals that that are there that we should be aware of either in the business or our personal relationships that somebody that we're sabotaging our identity and that's kind of like driving it but we don't see it?

Yeah.

And that's so correct because we can't see ourselves, right? I'm looking straight ahead. I can't see me, right? So, we can only see ourselves through actions or through other people's feedback a lot of times. If we are conscious or observant of our actions or our thoughts. And that takes practice sometimes. For a lot of us, it takes practice because we're not thinking about how I'm thinking about this or how I'm feeling about that. We just— this is how I feel, and so we act on it, right? And so to know To become more aware is to be able to take a few seconds. It only takes a few seconds. For instance, if somebody asks you a question, we feel like we gotta answer that question right away. No, it's breathe from your abdomen because that gives oxygen to the brain. It allows you to communicate with the body. Your body is communicating with you all the time. And then you— then the answers come because your divinity It's communicating with you from that. So you just breathe and then answer the question. When you get in the habit of doing that, you will see just from that simple but powerful action, you'll start to see that you start becoming aware of your thoughts and your actions just from that simple action.

But in order to be that intentional, We have to understand that we have a challenge. And so, are there any signs that we have a challenge? Like how is this issue manifesting itself in our businesses or in our personal life?

So, it can show up as feeling burnt out, feeling stuck, feeling overwhelmed, frustrated. Um, it shows up all these different ways. And to go back to your initial question, it's not that you need to be fixed. That is where I'm sort of a rebel in the self-help industry because I don't come from that premise. That, that never sat well with me, you know.

Mm-hmm.

Um, and not that I'm a religious person, but I do believe in a creator source. And so that's what I say, divine source.

Mm-hmm.

And that divine source is perfect, right? So it's perfect in the way that we are because we have all of these different things. And so it's not that you need to be fixed, it's just that there are certain identities playing out along with your own conscious awareness or your own, what they say, ego, right?

Mm-hmm.

It's just playing out in your life. Why? For you to function being a physical being.

Right.

That's all it is. Now, you forgot how powerful you are as a divine being. You forgot about the other part of you. And so they— it feels like you're fighting yourself. And then you have, um, these teachings that come out and say, well, you have to go, you know, uh, and get rid of your ego, and you have to do these— no, it's all— everything about you has its purpose. everything, and you are everything. So when recognizing that, when a person comes to me, the first thing I tell them is, listen, you don't need to be fixed. And you can just see the relief right then just from that. And that comes from my own personal experience. That's what I was told. You don't need to be fixed.

Yeah.

When I first went for help. You don't need fixing at all. There's nothing wrong with you. It's just that you've experienced some things. Some things got coded up because we're made up of codes, and it's playing out in your life unbeknownst to you because you forgot.

Yeah.

And so it's playing out as burnt out, overwhelmed, tired, frustrated, um, feeling stuck, feeling undeserving, shy.

Can you walk us through a moment where someone might be feeling, I'm failing and I don't know what to do about it. But really, that is just a story that is running through them, right?

Mm-hmm.

So, how do we recognize that? Because typically, when we blame stuff, I really like the analogy. And I've said on this show many times to people who are watching it, I really love the analogy that when you point your finger at something, you're pointing 3 And so, we tend to blame symptoms of stuff. How do we start to uncover that this is a story that we're telling ourselves?

Yeah. To be honest with you, that's a challenge because we can't see ourselves. So, we don't know that this is something playing out until someone tells you or until it really becomes a problem. And so the first thing a person says, because we are divine beings and we do sort of know, right? We deep down inside, we know something's happening with us, but we don't know what it is or we don't know how to express it. And so the first thing we want to do is we want to go talk to therapists because that's what we know. And so it's only when it becomes a problem that we really know. It takes practice in practicing sitting with yourself to start to remember your awareness, to be awareness. So for instance, I had a client, um, I won't say her name. She was a professional bookkeeper making a healthy 6-figure income, and she loved helping business owners but kept attracting clients who drained her and complaining, nitpicking, making her question her career choice. And so by the time she came to me, she was about ready to quit. Through our program, we uncovered a sabotaging identity rooted in unworthiness and the belief that she didn't deserve appreciation.

Hmm.

Within 2 weeks, Jenny experienced breakthroughs in her thought patterns because she had this pattern playing over and over again. And this is why she was attracting those clients. And that's why I go back to when I said sometimes we don't really see— we see ourselves through the feedback of others a lot of times, but we don't know that that's feedback. We, we just deal with it and we're just living our lives, right? But within 2 weeks, you know, she experienced some breakthroughs in her patterns. 4 weeks later, she was in love with her Nice. Because it boils down to self-love as well, in her own words. Okay. And so the deep self-acceptance opened a floodgate of awareness and joy for her. She began attracting her ideal clients and rediscovered excitement for her business. So she said that it was magical, but it wasn't magical. It wasn't magic.

Right.

Um, they were just natural outcomes of aligning her conscious, her subconscious, and superconscious minds. We, we have 3 consciousness that is in operation, and when they all are working in unison and in harmony, and then things start happening, our desires start happening with us seemingly to be magical. And you do walk around sort of like a magician.

That sounds great. I actually want to dig a little bit deeper into all that because I think we've defined the problem really well and talked a little bit about the consequences. But now, I'd like to get into the solutions. And we'll get to that right after this.

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Welcome back. Welcome back. I am speaking Speaking with mindset coach and the Superpower Activator, Victoria Shakur. It is so interesting because you mentioned this 3 minds. Can we dig a little bit deeper into what that looks like?

Yeah. So, your sub— we'll start with your conscious mind. So, your conscious mind is that conscience, right? Because you're Conscious is not necessarily in your brain, or what we call your mind. It's in the unified field. All of your thoughts come from the unified field. However, in order to experience being physical, you needed your conscious mind to make you aware that you are physical. You are aware that what my mom told me is that my name is Marc, so I'm known as Marc. You too? Wow, that's my name. Yeah, so yeah, you can, you can call yourself whatever you want. But yeah, so that's how— that's your conscious mind though.

You're—

I'm conscious that I'm talking to you and that I'm on this show. I'm conscious of that, right?

Okay.

However, there are things that is happening around us that we're not conscious of. Which is called your subconscious mind, or some people may say your unconscious mind. Uh, I'm not sure if I like either one of those terms, but I haven't thought of anything else yet to replace it. But your subconscious mind takes in everything going on around you that you're not paying attention to. You have no clue what's going on. It's taking in the colors of the wall and little nuances. um, inflections of a person's voice. It's taking in all this data unbeknownst to you.

Mm-hmm.

However, you kind of do know though as well. This is a paradox. And your superconscious mind is that part of you that is connected to your divinity.

And so your superconscious mind just wants to experience being physical.

Your superconscious mind is that part of you that is the God particle that you can have, be, and do anything that you want once you remember who you are. Living superconsciously, meaning living creatively because you are a creator.

Mm-hmm.

So what I do is, is support and guide you to start living from that. And then, uh, your conscious mind is, um, that part of you I mean, your unconscious mind, that part of you is just there to take in data. It's taking in all the data, it's running things, it's running this system that we call a body. It's running all of those things and making sure everything works right.

So it agrees with you 100% of the time.

You are never wrong with your subconscious mind, ever. It agrees with you. Whatever you want, it goes, yeah. Whatever. You're not good at that? That's right.

So that's your unconscious mind.

And its main job is to protect the body. That is its main job, is to protect the body. So when we create these identities to make sense of things, to protect our hearts and things as children, your subconscious mind is the one that is doing that, is doing that job that you created that identity to do.

Gotcha.

I hope that makes sense.

And so, when people get stuck in kind of— because we talked about the trauma. We talked about the subconscious. Now, we have the superconscious. When people get stuck, what's going on in there? Is it just that the subconscious mind comes to the surface and just takes over? Is it the superconscious that's saying, hey, this is your programming, so you have no choice but to act this way? What's going on?

So they're not in harmony. And so what's happening is it feels like stuck.

So that's the only expression that we have where we have these different expressions for what's happening.

But what's happening is the superconscious mind, that identity that was created, for instance, if Um, let's say— I'll give you an example. Let's say you was in a classroom as a child and you raised your hand for help and, uh, or to answer a question, and then the teacher kind of said some sly stuff to you, right? Some slick stuff that embarrassed you, and your classmates laughed at you, right? So you coded up in order to deal with that because you couldn't just run out the room or anything.

You had to deal with that. Right.

And so you created an identity that asking for help is hurtful.

Right.

So I have to do things myself. I have to figure things out myself. So as you were getting older, that was playing out in your life. And now you're trying to have a business, let's say, and you are wanting to be successful and you need to delegate certain things because you need help. Your subconscious mind goes, well, we survived that, so let's do that. But to you, it feels like you're fighting yourself. Something's blocking you. You see—

You know you have to delegate, but you can't delegate.

You know you have to delegate, but you— and you do, but then it's Pain, and it's that whole cycle again. Because now that person messes up, which is what you was looking for them to do, or criticize you because you're this person that asked for help and why couldn't you do this yourself? Things like that. It's because the subconscious was familiar with that. So it's just playing out.

So how much of this condition is the I word versus the feel word? People tie identity to it like, oh, I'm such an idiot, as opposed to, oh, I'm feeling like such an idiot. Or, I'm, you know, nobody wants to listen to me versus I feel like nobody wants to. How does that identity kind of shift our perception? What can we do to kind of conquer where we're at?

So, It's not about conquering where you're at, because then now you're fighting yourself again.

Ah.

It's about recognizing, it's about recognizing why you're feeling like that or why you're having these thoughts or these thought patterns. Oh, each time I do this, I have these thoughts. Every time this come up, I have these thoughts. Or why don't I feel like I wanna Delegate and get the help that I need? Why can't I find leadership in people? I can't find the right person to help me out with this. So it's sitting back and asking those questions and then not being afraid to go and talk to somebody about these things. But that goes back to that identity, right? So it takes a while for people to—

Yeah.

get the courage. Having that particular identity is a really challenging identity to have because you know you should reach out, but you have the identity in your subconscious that's going, yeah, reach out and get help. But you know that asking for help is painful, right? And this has been the program that's been going on.

Yeah.

And so it's just in casual conversation, You know, yeah, I know I experienced that. And, you know, it seems every time I just can't find the right help, you know. And then having somebody to say that to that may can say something that will trigger you to start to give these things some thoughts. That's usually how it happens. Or somebody might say, you know, you know what, you should talk to a coach.

Hmm.

Because a lot of times a person will say, I should talk to a therapist. Because that's what they know.

Right.

Well, and a lot of times, I think there's so many different stigmas about asking for help sometimes. Again, based on our programming and what our past has programmed us to feel. A lot of things, I'm the butt end of a baby boomer. So, baby boomers, it was like, just suck it up and just get it over. Just keep on going, right? It wasn't— there was no medium by which I was expected or I could turn around and say, you know what? I think I'm having a really tough time with that. Can I bend your ear for 5 minutes? It was like, no, just suck it up and just get on with it, right? And so now, it seems like we have in our corporate cultures now, we have more of this focus on mindful well-being and being able to create an environment where people feel free to share. But when we still have all this programming, how does one bring awareness to our sabotaging identity without the shame or self-judgment? Because first and foremost, when we go to somebody to do something, our first perception could be, oh, they're going to think less of me.

That's the programming.

I know.

That's the program. And how do we recognize it and how do we overcome it? Yeah. The only way to, the only way to overcome that is to have that, is to talk with somebody. The challenge is going to talk to somebody. That's the challenge.

Right.

And so, and until a person is absolutely ready for that, they will either learn, like you said, to just deal with it. Because what happened with the— in the baby boomer, um, time, uh, what happened when the self-help industry was coming about, what the— what happened was there's this— the underlying message was that you need to be fixed. And so it created all these people running around looking for somebody to fix them. And it's still happening to this day. And so, these— and so, when it comes, women are more apt to reach out for that help than men. It's just the way it is. Well, and however—

sorry, the outfall to that is we're seeing higher levels of like suicide in men between the ages of 50 and 75, right? So, we're not given the tools to deal with it early on. And the outfall to it, especially as we get into retirement age, is— I mean, the outfall could be drastic.

It can be very, very drastic. And so, while I focus on helping professional women, I am getting men that are coming to me and saying, hey, what about me? You know, it's not that I won't work with them. I will not ever turn them away. But I am getting more and more of that, which is, which is really good to see.

Mm-hmm.

Um, but it's just, uh, my, one of my superpowers is that, uh, people feel comfortable, men and women feel comfortable talking with me. And so I'm, they are, they open up to me and so I am able to assist them in these things. But overall, um, it, it comes to, it has to get, what happens is it gets to a point where it's affecting them, health, their health, their mental stability, and their finances. And when it starts affecting one of those things or all 3, that's when, that's when they say, okay, I need to go and talk to somebody.

Right.

So it's just a level of where, what we say your rock bottom is. You know, especially for men. And that's when they start to go and talk to somebody about these things.

I would assume as well that relationships would be affected by this as well. Relationships with spouses, with kids, with community, that sort of thing. Employees.

Yeah. Yeah. And a lot of times we don't— you know, it's a paradox because when you're in a relationship, That is actually the most potent time when you actually learn about yourself is through relationships, especially intimate relationships.

Yeah.

Well, I learned a lot about myself.

I learned a lot about myself when I got married, like for the last 35 years.

Yeah.

You, my wife will always tell me what, what's going on.

Yeah. So to that point, to that point, and I was gonna say, if you are the type of person that At least take a moment to reflect on things and think about things. You're not argumentative. You don't have these identities playing out just all the time. Some people are just very scattered and whatever. But yeah, but you do learn a lot about yourself when you're in relationships. Yeah.

This is just a fascinating conversation, Victoria. If this is resonating with the audience, How can they get in touch with you if they want your help?

So they can get in touch with me a couple of ways. They can get in touch with me through my website, which is what I prefer them to do. And the reason being is because they can see the testimonies on the website for their edification. And then the phone number and the email is on there as well. And also they can get in touch with me via email. And there's my phone number.

Terrific! And we'll put all those links in the show notes as well, just to make sure people can get in touch with you. You mentioned the superconscious. You mentioned this idea about superconscious living. What does superconscious living look like day to day for a business leader?

Okay. So, superconscious living is living Creatively. It's when you're able to infuse your left brain and right brain is in harmony together. And so it's— you're living intuitively. For instance, when someone comes, um, and want to do a deal with you and you're tapped in intuitively, you know if you should do business with this person or not. We say something just tells you, you can just feel it. That's your superconscious in harmony with all the other consciousness coming together to one consciousness and living intuitively. So that's one way how that looks. Another way how that looks is things tend to happen for you Without you doing very much. Um, it's, it's— now I'll give you an example. So when I went to, I went to purchase a car and I said, you know, I want a car. I want it really nice, like a really nice car. I didn't say the name of it, the color or nothing. I just said I want a really nice car. So about a month or two later, a friend of mine called and said, hey, you still in the market for a car? I said, yeah. Said, a friend is going to come pick you up and you're going to meet this person and they're going to get you into the car that you want. Great. We drove, got there, I showed my ID and that was it. I didn't show any proof of income. I didn't show anything else, just my driver's license. So when you're living super consciously, things like that happens and these inmates start to happen often, and you're— it almost feels like you're kind of cheating. You're kind of cheating life a little bit because you're like, wow, I just, you know, I— it's just things like that. It's hard to explain it because you're so in tune with all of your conscious being of who you are and living from your intuition, not so much from your thoughts, but from your, your divinity within you, what we call your intuition.

Mm-hmm.

That you just know the moves to make, you know decisions to make, you move with precision and you get things done. And then people go, well, how in the world You've got this business and that business going on. And how are you having time to go golfing or go and do this and go and do that? It's living super consciously. You know, living from your creativity.

It's so amazing because part of this idea is that you will also take risks that you would not necessarily do. Like, is it that luck? favors the bold or do the bold just get lucky, right? And so, part of it like I have a lady who is one of my clients and we actually call her the luck pusher because she thinks and does things that normal people say, I wouldn't have done that. Because normal people would feel stupid asking a certain question. But she does it in such a way that she doesn't feel stupid asking the question. And the flip side to that is she gets All these things. She gets the connections. She gets the friends. She gets the relationships, which ultimately serve in her favor.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's a great example. And my acronym for luck is Labor Under Correct Knowledge.

Oh.

And so, we call it luck. I don't necessarily agree. With, um, with luck because it's— it makes it mystical and, you know, but I guess we don't have another word to describe what that really is. But what it is is living super consciously. It's just living—

Okay.

From your creative being, your creative true self. And if no one has never taught you that, there's really no way to really know that and learn that. We do it— we may do it naturally. Um, one of the things, let me say this, is not focusing on what needs to be fixed or what's wrong. It's focusing on the end result that you want. When you start focusing on the end results of what you want, there is no other choice but to live superconsciously. From your creativity.

So, it shows that dreams do come true if you— I mean, we see people like people talk about vision boards. They talk about journaling. And they, because of that, they account for their success because of those habits. But essentially, these are just tools to create the superconsciousness.

They're just tools. They're just tools to remind you really. You really don't need all of those. And then you do need some of those. We're a paradox. So we all have— we have to remember that we are a paradox. And so we live from both sides of the coin.

That's the character trait of Victoria.

Yeah, probably. But yeah, we live from— I always say we live from both sides of the coin, right? So you are everything.

For people who are tuning in thinking that this is woo-woo and they're a little bit skeptical, What's the smallest commitment leaders can make right now to see some meaningful improvement?

Yeah, focus on the end result. Focus on your end result of what you are creating if you are creating something. And most CEOs and owners of companies, you are creators. If no one ever told you, I'm here to tell you. You are a creator. You created the company. You're creating how this company is being ran, how it's going to expand, and all these things is coming from your creative mind. However, you're muddying it up with all these other things, these things that you're carrying within you. So learning to be more aware of that and focusing on creating is where your happiness lies.

Yeah.

And everything, all these problems that seem to be big problems or whatever, you'll see them start to just fall away. The right people will pop up that will, that where you need help, you will start to get the help from that. It's, it's really just that simple. And I always say the most simplest things are the most powerful things in the world. We make things complicated because of all of these programs. programmings that we've been— that's been programmed within us. And so, yeah.

I love that.

I would say that would be the most simplest thing.

Okay. I'd like to get into some cautionaries and pitfalls. One of my challenges when I bring new content forward is that there are some people on the planet who will see something and then all of a sudden becomes the policy of the month. And it's like, oh, that's what we're going to start working on. And because of that, put a band-aid instead of really committing to a change. So, I'd like to get to cautionaries and pitfalls. And we'll get to that right after this.

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Welcome back. I hope you're getting tons of value from today's episode. As you can tell, Victoria and I are on a mission to support leaders just like you. So, if you belong to an organization that could use our help, or you or someone you know might be planning a leadership retreat or a conference, drop us a line. We'd love to explore how we could be of service to you and your people. So Victoria, what are common mistakes or traps that people fall into when trying to, I don't know, mindset hack in order to get to the level that we've been talking about today? Oh, by the way, I only ask small questions.

No, it's a good question. And I want to be as clear as I can answering this. What are some of the pitfalls that people fall into?

Yeah, when trying to change, like understanding that they have some mindset challenges, and they're like, okay, from now on I'm gonna— and, and they kind of trip over because they're trying to do it probably the wrong way.

Yeah. So what I found in, in my own personal experience, and as well as working with people, the pitfalls that they run into is the most common thing, uh, that most of us was taught to do. And that is, well, you know, that's just the way I am. That's the way my family has always done it. You know, that's the way— that's how my family is. And so it's— it's a— I see it as a way out of Really just dealing with what you just discovered because you don't know what to do with it. And so, well, my whole family's just like this. It's just the way we are. That's one of the pitfalls. And in attempting to do something about it, a lot of times people will— sorry about that. People will—

Of course.

They will attempt to go and talk to a friend, or they will, uh, go and they'll read something online or something. Oh, I'll do that, that's the answer right there. And then that might work for a minute, and then they still feeling unfulfilled. And so then they'll go and try this, they'll go and, you know, all these different modalities— to a psychic, tarot card reader. Like, I know I did all that. Just call the courier. Trying to figure out what's going on with me. What's going on with me? So yeah, they would do that. Try to meditate and things like that, or let me try something new. Sometimes they may just not do anything at all and just be stuck there.

So how does somebody find help? I mean, obviously you're here talking to us today so people can pick up the phone and call you. But how do people, when they recognize that they have some challenges, how do they find somebody like you? What questions should they be asking? How do they whittle through the noise to find somebody who can actually help them?

Yeah, so the one thing that if you're going to Reach out for help. You know, start small. Like, don't— do yourself a favor and start small. You know, you might pick up a book about it, right? Start writing down these thoughts. Start just writing down, you know, your thoughts. What are you thinking about? Take the time out for yourself. This is just a small step because this is what I did, and I took the time and sat down and really And really was like, wow. So that's my thought about that. And be honest with you. Be honest with yourself and really write down like, well, what am I thinking about this? Well, how do I feel about this? Well, why do I feel about this?

Right.

Why do I feel that way? Start there first. Be with you is what I always say. You should be your own best company. So be with you and start right there and then say, well, okay, all right, so I got these thoughts, I have these feelings, I've been doing this for a while, I see a pattern here, I need some help. Well, who do I go to? How do I help? Who helps me with this? Because most people just know to call a therapist, right? Because that's all we know. Even though coaching is huge, it's still not as well known as a therapist. So you may ask a friend, you may see within your, within your company at work or something like that, somebody might mention coaching, or some companies have business coaches that come in that you can sit them, take them aside, say, hey, you know, do you know a coach that that helps with this or that.

Right.

And they can refer you to somebody and you can just start there. Um, have your questions already prepared, like the questions that you want to ask them to be sure. Are you— have— are you certified? How long have you been doing this? Um, did you go and get help for yourself? Because just because a person is a coach don't mean they're not human anymore. You know what I mean? We still have stuff that we work through as well. And so, um, who did you go to? You know, do you have a coach that you go to still? Um, so I will ask these type of questions of that person and, um, and see if they are a right fit for, for you. Yeah.

And to your, and to your point, all the coaches aren't the same. You have different coaches to do different aspects of your business and/or your life, right? You're not endorsing just find the first coach and say, okay, coach me.

Right.

Even like football teams have different coaches to coach different aspects of the game. So, we need to look specifically for— so in your case, in this case, we're talking about if we're negative self-talk, if it's kind of polluting, we're recognizing we've done the internalization where We've defined, yeah, this is— I think I got to figure out why I keep thinking this way. Then you're looking for a mindset coach. You're looking for somebody who can help shake that up. And that's specifically what you're going to be shopping for.

Right. And even if you don't know it's a mindset coach, if somebody would come to me and they wanted to, like, I'm having these problems with my abdomen, with my stomach, you know, I poop uncontrollably or something like that. Well, I'm a mindset coach. I'm a mindset coach. So I'm going to say, oh, well, I know someone who can help you with that. So an honest, you know, person, an honest coach is not going to take you on knowing that's not their lane, or they shouldn't anyway.

So, so you would— that's why you wouldn't turn around and say, that's because your mind is full of poop.

Exactly. Putting it nicely. You put it nicely.

And that potty mouth of yours has got to go.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's awesome. Hey Victoria, this has been a really— yeah, yeah. This has been a great conversation. Could you remind everybody one more time how they can get a hold of you? You didn't mention. You said your website. But can you mention what your website is?

Yeah, so my website is umasteryllc.com. umasteryllc.com. All in the name, right?

Lovely! As we wrap up, do you have any last thoughts about what we've been talking about today?

Yeah, so I would say There's no one-size-fits-all method to healing.

Sure.

Okay? There's no one-size-fits-all method to healing. This is what's been happening in my observation in the self-help industry. Everybody's different. You and I can witness the same trauma and feel it 100 different ways than the other person. Um, so facing those wounds can be scary. While I've come far in my own healing journey, I continue to live and learn from this service daily.

Okay.

Yeah. My intent is to meet you where you're at on your journey and help empower you to trust your own divine inner wisdom. Uh, if it, you know, Take it. Be kind to yourself. All right? Be kind to yourself. In every negative programming, struggle, trauma, therein is where your superpowers are activated. Believe it or not, therein is where your superpower is activated. And one of the remarkable surprises that I totally did not expect was a profound overstanding of the human consciousness. And who I became through the process. All right. I love the person I am today.

And you can love yourself too.

And I can help you with that.

Victoria, thank you so much. I really appreciate you being here and sharing your knowledge. It's been absolutely brilliant. Thanks for joining me today.

Thank you for having me, Marc.

I enjoyed myself as well.

And who knows, maybe we'll do it again.

Yeah, you never know.

Thank you again.

I appreciate you.

Enjoy the rest of your day.

Thank you. If you've got any questions about today's episode, or maybe you're thinking to yourself, hey, we could really use a complimentary 30-minute brainstorming session with Marc. Or maybe, I need to call Victoria. Well, good news. You can snag a spot on my calendar. Just hit up the link below, the one that's marked meetwith.marchaine.com. If you need to get hold of Victoria, her contact information is in the show notes down below. You could check her out from our website or through email. As always, I am at your service. And if you haven't done so yet, please make sure you subscribe to this feed and follow me on social media. I'm constantly posting different things that come to mind, different ideas and thoughts about how to make your business better, how to make you better as a leader. And information that you could share with the world. So, thank you very much for being here. It's so great having you along for the ride. My name is Marc Haine. I hope you stay safe, stay healthy, and I hope you dare to be the exception. Bye for now!