How to Actually Overcome Your Limitations to Make Amazing Gains in Business

I have to be honest. Last week, I had a really, really tough time with my business. Or rather, how I thought of my business. I keep wondering if there's anything I'm doing that's holding me back. And that's what we're talking about today on Marc Haine Live. Welcome to this episode. This is where small business owners and entrepreneurs can pick up core skill sets to help them create those jaw-dropping, show-stopping experiences that their customers and their employees deserve. I am your host, Service Expert and Master of Experiences Marc Haine. And it is so great to have you here with me today. I hope you get lots out of today's topic. My guest for this episode is internationally recognized business mindset expert Alicia Kramer.

Hi Marc!

And we will be discussing how to identify self-defeating patterns and create new mindset behaviors to more easily achieve our goals. If you stay with us, you will get a few tips and takeaways on how to recondition your subconscious mind for greater levels of success. But before we jump into our topic today, I'd love for you to be part of this conversation, whatever that means to you. Having the conversation, taking difficult subjects and being open and honest with them and transparent is a great way to overcome become a lot of what hinders us. You can go ahead and subscribe to this program. If you go ahead and ring the bell, you will get notified whenever I bring you a fresh new episode. And so, that is in your best benefit. And of course, share this episode with somebody you know who could use this information. That is a true sign of leadership when you see that somebody has a need and you openly share what you know with them. Believe it or not, everyone has old mental conditioning that adversely affects their results in business. And I hate to say it, if it's affecting your business, it's probably affecting your happiness and your fulfillment in life. So that brings us to our Question of the Day. If you could paint a picture of your perfect life, a life where you wake up every day contented and energized and motivated, what would that look like for you? As I mentioned, I'd love for you to be part of this conversation. So, go ahead, share this episode on your favorite platform. But make sure that you hashtag it #ExperienceLeadership and we will have the conversation. Take this offline and be able to have this conversation online. As I mentioned, my guest today is internationally recognized business mindset expert Alicia Kramer. Alicia is a renowned mindset expert, an author, a coach, a consultant, and a serial entrepreneur. Having worked with hundreds of private clients for well over a decade, Alicia has an intimate understanding of the mindset pitfalls that affect entrepreneurs. Her clients include successful business professionals, executives and entrepreneurs who are driven to take their personal and their professional success to the next level. She is the author of Outside the Box Entrepreneur and her newest book, Uncensored, Untamed, Unleashed. Welcome to the show, Alicia! It is so great to have you.

Thank you, Marc. I'm really looking forward to being here with you.

Before we dive deep into today's topic, could you just tell us a little bit about what you do, how you serve your clients?

Well, let's start with the basics. When anyone is seeking out help, it's usually because things are not going particularly well. So, uh, it's safe to say that in many cases when clients, uh, contact me to work with me privately one-on-one, they have been bumping up against fears, self-doubt, insecurities. Maybe they have a specific goal that for whatever reason they just cannot seem to achieve. They know that they have more potential, and they know that there is something within them that is causing them to get in their own way. So, when I'm working with a client, I'm helping to identify what are those beliefs, what are those expectations, what is the discrepancy in their self-image, who they've been, who they perceive themselves to be, and who they want to become. Because when we have those types of discrepancies, when we have conflicting beliefs, We are going to continue to bump up against internal obstacles that create procrastination and stress. And I mean, you name it, right? We've all experienced these things. No one is exempt. Some people certainly have more challenges than others. But I'm telling you, I'm working with people who in many cases are extremely successful. They have so much going for them. And not just financially successful, not just status level success. But they have the husband, the wife, the kids, the beautiful home, the nice cars. They've got the stuff. But something is off inside. And it doesn't have to be that way.

Yeah, why do you think that we're seeing lots of talk in the media about the Great Resignation? We're talking a lot of things about burnout. and about just mindset issues that people seem to be having now. Why do you think this is such an important topic for today's climate?

Well, it's always been an important topic and it always will be an important topic because our inner reality is what determines our outer reality. And I mean, let's be real. It is conditioned into us. that when we achieve the goal, when we have the thing, then we'll be happy.

Right.

And that is just simply not the way it works. If you're absolutely miserable, you have low self-esteem, low self-confidence, fear of failure. You know, you're constantly feeling like people are judging you. You're insecure, whatever the case is. And now you have $10 million in the bank and a Lamborghini in your driveway. Those feelings don't just go away. You might be able to sort of talk yourself out of it from time to time. But the reality is, and I say this all the time, no amount of money affords you the luxury of just getting rid of all of your mental and emotional stuff. You've got to do the work to heal those things, to clean that stuff up. And so, when people are saying to themselves, oh, I'm just gonna quit my corporate job and I'm gonna go start my own business. But they have not done the inner work to build up their level of belief in themselves, their self-confidence, their self-worth, their self-discipline. We're talking about core traits. Being in business is not just hang up your shingle and all of a sudden, the clients and customers just start rolling in. It's a whole new game that you have to learn how to play. And you're going to encounter all of that unresolved stuff.

It's interesting because essentially what we are telling the audience right now is that they have baggage that is really holding them back. I mean, I joke with people that when they point and blame at someone or something for our challenges, they're actually doing themselves a disservice. I mean, they'll go out there and go, ah, the customers aren't coming out. Or, the staff don't know what they're supposed to do and they never fulfill it. Or, the weather's affecting my business. And so, my big joke is whenever we point at something, we're actually pointing one finger at what we think is the problem and we're pointing 3 fingers at ourselves. How difficult is it for people to reconcile that they may be the source of their own problems?

So, wisdom comes from experience. And if we look at our younger self, I'm talking young, young like kid young, right?

Yeah.

It is very common to point the finger, to blame, to not want to take personal responsibility. And over time, school of hard knocks teaches us, you know, hey, I'm at cause here. Some people are still holding on to that blame, the being the victim. And it's extremely limiting. So when we can get to the place within ourselves where we can acknowledge and admit, you know what, it is what it is, but no one's going to come in and save me. So if anything is going to change, it has to start with me. That's the beginning. Because now when we take responsibility, we become empowered. You can't change the fact that it's pouring rain or that the vendor didn't deliver what you needed on time. But what are you going to do about it? Because being in that victim mindset is only going to keep you stuck. And in many cases, it's going to be the beginning of a lot of negative momentum. So, if you can, I always say, put on your big boy pants. Put on your big girl pants. What are you gonna do about it? And that is definitely a mindset thing. So, we're talking here about taking personal responsibility and then the ability to be willing and able to do whatever you need to do to make it right.

At the beginning, I was talking about this. And this was the word that you gave in the information you sent me. But this idea of mental conditioning. How easy is it for people to blame the fact, or are they even cognizant that the stuff that happened when they were little, the things that helped make them the person they are today, those situations actually are the thinking processes they're using now that they're adults?

So, a lot of people have a very basic understanding. They understand that mom and dad always talked that way about money. So I can see that that's my belief about money. But what a lot of people don't realize is just how deep the conditioning actually runs. So we see young children developing rapidly. They are learning from everything that they see, everything that they hear. Well, what's happening there? So, from the time that we are born until we're about 7, 8 years old, our subconscious mind is absorbing at an exponential rate. We are learning rapidly, and we're not learning from higher wisdom per se, right? We're not downloading divine information, right? It's stuff that we're seeing. Things that we're hearing. And so now we have all of this data already conditioned into our subconscious mind. And then we finally start to develop this critical faculty of mind. That's where we can say, wait a second, I think that person's full of BS. And we can discard some of that information. But up to that point, we were just taking it all in. The good, the bad, the conflicting, all of it, right? And now, so even after that critical faculty is developed, we're still absorbing, right? We're still highly influenced. But we go in and out of states of heightened suggestibility. So now, we're adults. We're business owners. I want to achieve this goal for myself, this new financial goal. I want to create this thriving business. But you have all of these beliefs in your subconscious mind, all the things that you've heard. You know, wanting money is greedy. It's bad. Those sleazy salespeople. You know, oh, that the guy down the road, you know, he owns a business. He's a real a-hole. You know, like we hear all these things and we're interpreting all of them through our lens, through our perception. And now, here we are. We don't want to be the greedy salesperson. We don't want to be the a-hole business owner. And we don't even realize that our mind is trying to protect us by creating procrastination and self-sabotaging tendencies that slow down our success. Now, when we can start to identify what those beliefs and those patterns and those old stories are, now we can see them through the lens of our current wisdom. And when you can see it for what it really is, I say it's like shining the light of truth. When you shine the light of truth on an old limiting belief, an old disempowering pattern, now your mind starts to release its hold on that.

Gotcha.

So, there's a couple of different things going on because, you know, on the one hand, it's beliefs. And that's where we definitely need to, you know, look at those things, see them. We also have fears. That's a whole nother way that the mind is operating and trying to protect us. We have habits. That's another process that takes place at the subconscious level of the mind. And we can all see how limiting beliefs, negative habits, fears, doubts, insecurities, all that stuff. Those things are affecting us in many different areas of our life and business.

Yeah, it's really interesting. One of the things that popped up as you were talking about this, especially about being young. I'd once I was once told, and I don't know if this is true, that there are 3 definitive milestones in our lives that help define who we are as adults. One is when we are 3 years old. Something happens to us and we realize something's wrong. Then, somewhere around puberty, we realize there's something happens to us and we realize that we don't fit in. And then, somewhere in our early 20s, we realize we're alone. Does that have any validity to what you're talking about today?

Well, we do go through some physiological changes in our life. So, let's look at it this way. When you are going through, say, puberty, there's a lot of things that the body, the physical body is experiencing. And a lot of people don't realize that the subconscious mind is very much entangled with our physical body.

Okay.

So, people think of the mind, they think of the brain. But the mind is so much more than just the physical brain. That's an organ in our body. It does a lot of cool stuff, just like the heart is an organ in the body. It does a lot of cool stuff. But here's the interesting thing that I'm going to say newer science, but really, it's been an ongoing science has found that we store our trauma, the memories. We store it in our cellular memory. We store it in our heart. We store it all over, not just in the brain. Okay?

Hmm.

So now, if we're willing to say, okay, there is something going on here, a connection between my mind and my body. That's why a lot of people talk about the mind-body connection. So, if the body is going through certain things, it will influence and affect the mind. That's why if you're hungry, you get grumpy. If you're tired, your mind is not able to be as efficient and clear and focused, right? The body directly influences the mind. But when we're talking about anchoring in limiting beliefs, disempowering patterns and programs, it's a slightly different process that's taking place. So let's look at trauma, for instance. We've all had a shocker, right? And when something like that happens, even if it's something that's, let's say, Not highly, hugely detrimental, but maybe it was jarring to you. So you found out that your friend in, you know, your friend for the past 10 years has been saying awful, terrible things about you, and you are shocked, you are hurt. When that happens, there is a physical reaction to that event, and the stronger the emotional charge on that experience, the deeper that gets anchored in at the mental-emotional level. That then becomes a pattern, if you will, that plays out where maybe now you have trust issues. And so, 5 years later after that incident, you can't figure out why. But for some reason, you just cannot trust your CMO. There's just something about it. You just can't trust them. And you're trying to figure it out. You're trying to let it go. You're trying to work your push through it. But that nagging feeling will not go away. And if we look at it, and we can actually see that it directly correlates with now this, this really deep-rooted trust issue. And that trust issue is linked to that highly emotionally charged experience. And it actually physically gets anchored in as a density energy that That they can see with, with technology. And now if we can see that, we can do some various different techniques to properly release and let that go so that now you're able to, you know, some people may say a healing. You could say you resolve the issue. I like to say, you know, you shift it. There's a lot of different terminology that can be used, but the The principles are the same, right? The— at the core of it, it's the same. You experienced something that was jarring, traumatic, highly emotionally charged. It gets anchored in at the subconscious level of the mind. And now, it is going to continue to create problems for you anytime you bump up against something that is firing to that pattern, that belief in your brain. So there's so much complexity. And yet, if we really just break it down to the basics here, just really simplify it, you've got a belief, it's not serving you. Let's properly release and let it go so that you can create new empowering beliefs that support you.

How does one come to that realization? Because we all, like you mentioned, we all are brought up with a kind of what our definition of normal is. So, how can somebody shake themselves out to realize that maybe they have some of these limiting beliefs?

So, it's funny because when we start to shift some of these things, It can create almost an unhealthy desire to start fixing everything that's wrong with us. Okay? And so, what I always tell my clients is, don't go looking for stuff to fix.

Wow!

You will never run out of stuff to fix. It's the wrong place to focus. So, better is to be focused on your goals, what you want to be experiencing, how you want to feel, what you want to be creating. Focus on the goals because in pursuit of achieving that goal, you're going to bump up against your limiting beliefs. And when you bump up against the limiting beliefs, That is when we address it. And once you shift whatever that obstacle is, you pivot your focus again and you get focused, refocused on your goal.

Perfect.

So, to answer your question, I'll just say if someone right now knows that they're bumping up against something, that's the time when you Address it. You've got plenty of limiting beliefs. If they're not active right now, if they're not adversely affecting you right now, don't worry about it. When it's time to release and let it go, it'll come up.

It's really interesting because like you said, we might not be aware of it until there's a problem. And then, you might look at yourself and go, why am I such an introvert? Why can't I talk to strangers? Why can't I be more outgoing? Or whatever. And so, the minute that you have that, that is a really great opportunity to be present to what you're thinking and then start asking those questions. Are there any myths that we should be aware of when it comes down to limiting beliefs?

Well, we are full of wacky beliefs.

So, that's a technical term, right? Wacky is the technical term.

Yes, that's a technical term. Wacky beliefs. So, here's the thing. There are a lot of people out there right now talking about mindset, talking about all sorts of things. Like you look at the Law of Attraction, which became like a big phenomenon, right? And the challenge is that When you only have half the story, that creates problems. So when someone says, you know, the law of attraction doesn't work, well, you don't understand. It's a law. It works. Gravity works 100% of the time. The law of attraction works 100% of the time. Just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it's not working. It just means your understanding of it is incomplete. So when we're talking about limiting beliefs, beliefs are just that. They're just beliefs. Now, if we can say that it is our perception that determines whether or not that belief is good or bad, that puts a slightly different spin on it. So if someone Says I am a workaholic. I am absolutely passionate about my business. I love working twelve hours a day, and that is serving them. They are full of life. They are full of enthusiasm. That belief could be considered a positive belief for that individual. But now let's say someone else has the same quote. Same belief, I'm a workaholic, I am working 12+ hours a day, I am physically exhausted, I don't have time to take care of myself, I am neglecting my family, then you could say that same belief now is a negative belief for this other individual. So when we're talking about limiting beliefs. It is a very individual thing. What is limiting you? What is holding you back? Because not every belief is black and white, good or bad. So be honest with yourself about where your holding yourself back, where you're bumping up against things. So for instance, there are a lot of people who have these diagnoses— ADD, ADHD, right? Now, once somebody puts that label on you, What beliefs have you anchored into that? For some people, they may say, oh, that holds me back. I can't focus. Therefore, I can't be as successful as I want to be. Well, what if we let go of all of the stuff that we've been told about it? Everybody else's perceptions, everyone else's opinions. And let's look at your strengths. Now, here's the thing. There are plenty of people who are not diagnosed who have very similar symptoms and behaviors, and they are utilizing their strengths in ways that propel them to incredible success. So we just have to be willing to challenge What our beliefs are. And sometimes we don't have to completely eliminate a belief. Sometimes we just need to tweak it, right? Sometimes there's a little bit of, a little bit of something that is creating a challenge for us. And if we reframe that, we can actually thrive with the beliefs that are already programmed into us. We just needed to make a couple of small tweaks. so that it wasn't holding us back anymore.

Right, right. It's so interesting. I have a sneaking suspicion that we could go on for hours uncovering all this. But I'd like to jump into some questions that the people watching have. We have a few questions. But also, I'd like to look at the idea of tying beliefs to expectations. And we'll do that right after this.

When the spotlight shines on your business, are customers applauding or yawning? In other words, how is your business performing? Make your business a star with a new book, Lights! Camera! Action!, Business Operational Excellence Through the Lens of Live Theater by Marc Haine. Marc uses his business and acting experience to help you see your business like a live show so you can create a performance your customers will never forget. Buy Lights! Camera! Action! today at your favorite online retailer or directly at marchaine.com.

Wow! I am so blown away by today's topic. And I'm speaking with the fabulous Alicia Craig. about how our subconscious mind and our old mental conditioning effects are here and are now. Alicia, you yourself have lived through adversity and challenges yourself. Can you tell us a little bit about what you realized as you were coming up into this realm?

I will try to keep my backstory brief because it's pretty much a lifetime worth. So, I grew up in a very dysfunctional home with alcoholic, workaholic parents. Had a lot of self-esteem issues, a lot of self-worth issues, a lot of self-confidence issues. Started drinking at a very young age. That later became a problem for me as an early adult. Always wanted to be a business owner. I started my first multi-level marketing business when I was 18. Didn't go particularly well. I started an online store in my early 20s. And that was back before Shopify and all of the e-commerce options that there are today where you actually had to contact manufacturers and set up dropshipping with them manually. I had no business skills. No, really. I mean, my mindset was absolutely awful, right? Back in those days, you were so frequently sold, oh, you just have, you know, you put a product online and you become a millionaire, right? So, I'm thinking, oh, there's an easy button, you know. And there was no easy button. I ended up filing bankruptcy. When I was 22 years old on my first real business, it was devastating. Tons of limiting beliefs, tons of self-confidence issues. 25, I was out with some girlfriends, was physically and sexually assaulted, experienced post-traumatic stress disorder. And that became the kick in the ass that I needed to finally pull my head out of my you know what and really do some some deep. Inner work. And that is what got me onto, uh, hypnosis and EFT and mindset work and a lot of deep spiritual work. And it was an incredibly transformational journey for me, and it didn't happen overnight, but it did happen very, very quickly and in really, really significant, profound ways. And I was able to really build up a new self-image and work on developing my self-esteem, my self-worth. And because it was so transformational, that's why I just wanted to help other people. So in 2006, I started a little EFT practice, had some clients, tiny little bit of success, still didn't have the business acumen side of things down. And was managing a cell phone store to supplement my income. Found out I was pregnant at 28 and decided, that's it, I'm going to do it right this time. So I got my certification as a hypnotherapist, opened a brick-and-mortar hypnotherapy practice, and just continued to really work on my inner game as well as my business skills. And that is what got me to where I am today.

Wonderful! Could you just define for the audience what EFT stands for?

Yes, EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Techniques. It is a process where you are tapping on a series of energy meridian points on the face and upper body. And it is basically what it says. You're getting emotional freedom. You're healing past traumas. You're overcoming the negative emotional charge associated with limiting beliefs and things like that.

Wonderful! Great! Patrick has a question for us. He says, is it possible to override a disappointment that happened years ago and which still keeps coming back to hold you back? Interesting.

It is absolutely possible. So, I know this firsthand. I mentioned I overcame the trauma associated with bankruptcy and the trauma associated with being physically and sexually assaulted. It is 100% possible. Absolutely without question. There may be some work involved. But if you're committed, you can do it.

Is there something that somebody like Patrick in this particular circumstance could do to start seeing some relief from that? Recognize because obviously, it sounds like that he's got a recognition of what a problem is, is there like a step he can take to start moving himself forward at this junction?

So, one of the things that we just talked about, EFT, short for Emotional Freedom Techniques, also referred to as tapping, can be a very, very helpful modality for working through all of the negative associations that are stored in the subconscious mind associated with that experience. I have some, not a lot of free EFT videos on my YouTube channel. I do have a lot in my Inner Game Academy. But you can find all sorts of free videos on YouTube from a variety of different professionals. That is something I would definitely recommend trying out. Um, the other part is you can start to recondition yourself by reframing it in your mind. So now if you remember it the way that you have remembered it up to this point with the negative feelings and all of that stuff, one of the techniques that we use when we're, we're doing hypnotherapy, for instance, Yes. Is you can get yourself very, very comfortable if you're doing this, obviously, yourself and not with a practitioner. But this is very safe. So anyone can do this on any challenges that they might be experiencing that are similar. So just relax as much as you can. And now you're remembering that experience, maybe kind of imagine that you've got a split screen in your mind. So it's off to the left. And you're seeing that image. And now just imagine that you have like an eraser and you're just erasing the screen. And as you do that, allow yourself to just release and let go of those negative feelings. And now look to the screen on the right half and imagine yourself now. feeling like that experience no longer affects you. You're, you're confident, you're, you're empowered, you're succeeding in life and business, whatever it is that's unique for you, whatever your heart is sort of saying, this is how I want to feel, this is how I would prefer to perceive this past experience, because we're not forgetting that it happened. I still have full recognition of the traumas that I had experienced. I remember that they happened. But notice, there's no emotional charge on it. I can talk about it without crying, without, you know, having some type of fear-based response. That's emotional freedom.

Hmm.

And so, you can recondition your mind by training your mind to have this new Preferred experience. So we're not pretending that it didn't happen. We're just empowering ourselves to have a different response to it. And isn't it nice to know that you may have had challenging experiences in the past, but now they no longer adversely affect you, and you're focused on your future, you're focused on your empowerment, you're focused on what you're creating for yourself?

It's pretty amazing because it's what you're basically saying is that you're working yourself into an experience where what happened is just the fact of what happened. And you're kind of moving the emotion out of it and just recognizing that's just something that happened.

Yes, it's the emotional response that is what's typically tripping us up.

Yes.

You can watch a scary movie and it doesn't have any emotional effect on you. You're just observing it. You're just seeing it. It's just sort of there. It doesn't, you know, it's a non-issue. Or you could watch that scary movie and you could feel terror. You could feel fear. And now you're laying in bed trying to fall asleep with all of these uncomfortable thoughts and feelings circulating in your head.

Right?

So, how the emotions affect us is what's typically the tripping point, if you will. That's what we're bumping up against. And that's why the work that I'm doing with my clients is usually about releasing the negative emotional charge, that triggered feeling. Because when we can eliminate that negative feeling, from the memory or the belief, it no longer has its hold on us.

Love it! Yeah, that makes perfect, perfect sense. Paul has a question as well. Paul is saying, how can we accept the defects we need to fix? That's a challenging question.

So, it's an interesting question. So, how are we defining defects? So, a defect could be You know, I was burned in a fire and I have, you know, very visible scar on my face. And now, when anyone looks at me, I feel mortified and I don't want to go out in public and I don't want to network and I don't want to ever do anything on video. I don't want people to take photographs of me, right? You could say that's a defect. And it's something that maybe could be fixed over time with corrective procedures. But let's just say that it's not something that you're just simply able to wash away. It's just a fact of life. Well, how you perceive that is where the power is. Because if you can get to the place within yourself where it is what it is, but what do I want? What do I want to create for myself? How do I want to feel? How do I want to feel in spite of this? If you can create that type of mental conditioning. And the reason that this comes up for me is just a couple weeks ago for my podcast, The Mind of Business Success, I interviewed a beautiful woman who is an international motivational speaker who was burned as a little girl and has tremendous scarring. And her face is, you could say, somewhat disfigured even after a lot of surgery. And she decided that that is going to be her message. That you are beautiful no matter what. You can do anything no matter what. And she goes out and she inspires people because of that. So all of this is really coming back to what are our beliefs? What is our mindset? It is what it is. What happened happened. We are who we are. You know, maybe you're not as tall as you want to be. Maybe you're not as, you know, You lost your hair, you're gray, whatever. It is what it is, right? How do you prefer to feel in spite of that? Do you prefer to feel confident? It's like all of us have probably experienced this, right? There's the not so attractive man who for some reason, he is just so confident. He is so confident with the ladies. And you see, His wife, his girlfriend, whatever. She's gorgeous. And you're thinking to yourself, how did that happen? Right? It's inside. It's the inner game. And that makes such a huge difference in our life. Likewise, you'll see beautiful, beautiful women, you know, who are struggling with their self-image. It's all in between the ears. It's all that mind stuff.

This is absolutely fascinating. For the people who are tuning into this, how can somebody get in contact with you if they need your help?

Go to aliciakramer.com. You can book a consultation. You can learn more about me. I've got some free hypnosis audios. My Business Success Course Hypnosis Audio Program is free. There's information about my Inner Game Academy. So, head over there and just poke around and reach out if there is anything that I can do to support you.

Terrific! And you yourself have a podcast, right?

I do. I do. It's called The Mind of Business Success Podcast. And there is a link to it on my website as well.

Love it! And we'll make sure to put it in the show notes as well. Talking a lot of beliefs, we're talking about all this stuff. But then, expectations comes to the forefront. How does beliefs and expectations tie in together?

So really, our expectations are based on our beliefs. So if you think about it, and this is a really good exercise. So if you're setting a new goal for yourself, be really honest with yourself. Really honest. What do I expect is going to happen? Do I expect I'm going to achieve my goal? Do I expect I'm going to fail? Do I expect it to be hard? Do I expect it to be easy? And now, you can sort of reverse engineer. Because if you identify, oh, I expect that this is going to be really hard. I expect this is going to be a failure just like all of those other past attempts. Well, now, you can see what the beliefs are that are creating that expectation. Our expectations in many cases become self-fulfilling prophecies. So, if you can see with clarity, with honesty, being objective, I expect it to be this certain way. Now, look at what's underneath that. What do I believe about this? What is my old story? Right? There maybe is some self-image stuff there. It's always hard for me. That's a belief that's tied into your self-image. Well, now you can you can do something about it. Whereas before, it's just going to continue to run as sort of that operating system that keeps recreating more of the same, more of the same, more of the same.

And it also— the expectations of negativity also predominate. Like, I'm going to try this. I've done this 100 times. Or businesses. And business is one thing that drives me absolutely crazy when it comes to change is This is the way we've always done it. We've tried other ways but it never works.

Limiting belief.

Limiting belief. Tag! Tag! I love that before we got on the call, I was telling you something and right away you said, limiting belief, which is awesome because now it's like maybe that's going to become my mantra every time I believe something. I'll say, I'll test myself with that.

Call yourself out.

Call myself out. I imagine that people are listening to this and they're like getting excited of fact that whatever is holding them back, they're recognizing that things are holding them back and that they want to do something about it. So, what I'd like to do after the break is I'd like to talk about some cautionaries. What should people be aware of as they try to tackle this idea of fixing themselves or recognizing that they have these limiting beliefs that are holding them back? And we'll get to that right after this.

When you're delivering an important speech to a huge audience, it's easy to lose your place or go way over time. Give yourself an advantage with the Pro Speaker Presentation Speech Timer app. No more checking your watch or calling for time. The Pro Speaker Presentation Speech Timer app keeps you on track with easy-to-see timers, even changing color for visual prompts during your speech. And you can set audio cues to practice or set it to vibrate so you don't You don't even have to look. Be the pro you know you are. Download the app at speakerpresentationtimer.com.

I am so thrilled, Alicia, to be talking with you. I mean, I've never had a mindset expert on this show before. And I'm getting so much out of this. And judging from the comments that we're getting in the comment box, the audience is also getting a lot from this. As I mentioned, there are people who might be looking at this going, it's time for me to change. Now's the time. And they figure that they're going to read books. They're going to watch videos. Are there any cautionaries that we should be aware of as people are trying to address some of these challenges?

You're gonna bump up against your resistance. Oh, talk about that. Yeah, so let's be real. And a lot of people don't talk about this. They have really good headlines, a really great promise, this irresistible offer. I'm gonna take this course, I'm gonna read this book, I'm gonna go to this seminar, and it's gonna change my life. And it's not that the information isn't good. In many cases, it's fantastic. But what is not being taken into account is that your old beliefs, your old self-image That stuff is is really deeply ingrained in you, and our mind and body is really designed to keep us in homeostasis, to keep us alive, to keep us safe, to keep us the same. Now, you and I, from our conscious perspective, we understand that some of these old things. Not so good, right? I don't want to be this way anymore. It's hurting me. And yet the subconscious mind says, "Oh, but you see, at least we're safe and alive and comfortable. Let's not rock the boat here." And so anytime we are stepping outside of that old conditioning. We're going to experience some resistance, some pushback. Our fears are going to come up. Oh, oh, what did I do? Oh, I shouldn't have invested that money. I'm never going to change anyway. Nothing. Look at— there's so much evidence. Look at that. I'm not generating any sales today, right? It— the mind is going to throw up all of this fear, all of this resistance. We're going to start to create unnecessary obstacles. We're going to be interrupted by things that seem out of our control. We're going to get tired or sick or something, right? Everybody manifests their resistance in the way that has historically worked really well for them. Mind is like, oh, I know what to do to get you to stop. So, we have to see this objectively when it happens. Don't get mad at yourself. That's the wrong way, right? We're taught, oh, tough love, tough love, right? And isn't that the way that some of us were parented? And really, when someone is forcing on us, what do we do? We resist.

We fight.

When you are forcing on yourself You're going to have the same response. So you're you're going to be much better off recognizing it. It you know it is what it is. We've got some old resistance. We've got some fear. It's just some some stuff coming up. My mind's giving me a little bit of pushback. Be easier about it. Be easier about it because now you can sort of hit the reset button on that emotion instead of. Spiraling into the same old patterns that cause you to retreat, to give up, to stop. And you can continue to persist, to persevere in spite of that resistance, in spite of those obstacles. So the one thing that I want to make sure that I'm leaving everybody with is do the work, stay consistent, keep going for it. Don't give up on your goals and your dreams. You can absolutely achieve it. And you will likely experience some resistance. That's natural. It's normal. It's okay. It doesn't mean that you're failing. It's just part of this process. And at some point, you're going to rewrite that conditioning. And when you do, it's going to get easier and easier, easier and easier, better and better. You've just got to stay the course.

It's interesting because what you're saying is basically as you're getting ready to make changes, To be aware that you're going to have these conflicts. Be aware. It's kind of sort of like when I quit smoking. I knew I would have withdrawal. I knew I would have cravings. I mean, it was the 7th time I was quitting smoking. So, I had all these experiences. And the one thing that I really focused on was my mantra of why was I quitting. And I literally had a full package of cigarettes unwrapped in my pocket with a sticky note on it that said, First of all, I said, you lose. And then, my mantra every time I took it out was if I was dying for a cigarette, I would look at it and go, if I open this packet, by the end of the day, I will have finished it. By the end of the week, I will have a carton and this will kill me. And that was really because I went into this. This is what made the 7th time so much different was I already went in knowing everything I was going to tell myself. And so, what you're suggesting is Basically, as we're making these changes, we should do likewise.

Yeah. We can bypass a lot of that resistance by acknowledging what I'm doing here is different. It's different than the way that I've been before. And it's going to come with a few challenges. But it's absolutely worth it. It is absolutely worth it. Because you really do have those 2 different options. You can continue doing things the way that you've always done. And you know where that's getting you, right?

The same thing that you've always gotten.

Exactly. Or you can start to do things this new way that is going to get you to where you want to be. And I would rather deal with a little bit of resistance Every now and again. It's just like people who struggle to lose weight, right? Oh, it's too hard. Well, guess what? You're miserable every day of your life anyway. Wouldn't you rather just get through that initial resistance and be living with that beautiful healthy body that you truly desire?

I love it. Alicia, this has been absolutely amazing. I can't believe how quickly this time has gone by. Do you have any last thoughts about what we're talking about today?

I just want to encourage people to say yes to your heart's desires. If you've been feeling a desire for something for a long time and you have not broken, broken through your resistance yet, I'm just here to remind you it absolutely is 100% possible. Yeah, it's going to take a little bit of work, but it's absolutely possible and it's absolutely worth it.

Alicia? Thank you so much. I want to thank you for sharing your passion, your expertise with us today. Could you just remind everybody one more time how they can get a hold of you?

aliciakramer.com.

Excellent! And the spelling is on the screen, folks. Check her out. Alicia, thank you again for all this. This has been more than I could have possibly asked for.

Oh, thank you so much, Marc.

Why don't you let me know if this was of value to you? As always, my offer stands. If you would like 30 minutes of my time to brainstorm your business with you and your team, or if you are a member of an association and you think that what I talk about on this podcast might be worthwhile, feel free to reach out to myself or to reach out to Alicia to maybe book for an upcoming conference that you might have. Feel free to book yourself on my online calendar. The link is in the show notes. It would be my honor to be of service to you. I want to thank everybody who brought in their comments today. Thank you so much for being part of this conversation. I loved every minute of it. Why don't you go ahead and leave me a comment or review about this episode? I'd love to get your feedback whether or not this was of value to you. I'd love to see it in the comment box. Maybe even share this episode on social media on your favorite platform. My name is Marc Haine. Thank you so much for being with us. I hope you stay safe. Stay healthy and dare to be the exception.