Leading with Humility: Unlocking the Secrets of Successful Small Business and Team Leadership with M

There are so many people problems that leaders have to face. From labor shortages, to lack of engagement, to unprecedented labor turnover. But would it surprise you to learn that a lot of the issues can be solved if we work on one thing? Just one. Ourselves. And that's what we're talking about today on Experience Leadership.

Welcome to Experience Leadership, a podcast that challenges small business owners and entrepreneurs just like you to dare to be the exception. Join our host, customer experience expert Marc Haine, as he uncovers relevant and timely content to help you script and direct your business and teams to create jaw-dropping experiences Your customers and staff deserve. Here is the host of Experience Leadership, author of Lights! Camera! Action!, customer experience expert Marc Haine.

Welcome to this episode. Today, we will dive into the transformative power of humility in small business and team leadership. We will explore how humble leadership can unlock the secrets to success, creating thriving work environments, and driving exceptional business outcomes. So, I hope you'll stick with me. There's lots of great content today. Please feel free to be part of this conversation. If you are here live with me, feel free to drop comments and questions and I'll try to address them as we go here live. Put your comments and questions in the comment box and I will make a point to address it. If you'd like the content today and you would like something more, maybe more profound or deeper, I do offer a 30-minute complimentary coaching session where I can go and we can discuss the challenges you have. So, go ahead and book a time that works for you on my online calendar at meetwith.marchaine.com. In my 25 years plus as a business and hospitality specialist, I consistently see a significant costly business problem that if not addressed really contributes to one's employee attraction, retention, and engagement efforts. And that is humility or lack of humility in leadership. It is eroding our company culture and talent retention efforts. And when leaders lack humility, it creates a really toxic work environment. This is where we see low employee morale, high turnover rates, and difficulty in attracting and retaining our top talent. So, I would like to know from you our Question of the Day. Have you ever put your humility to the test? And if you did, what did you find out? I'd love to hear your thoughts. Why don't you go ahead and share this episode on your favorite platform and hashtag the post with #ExperienceLeadership. I'd love for you to be part of this conversation. My first experience with leadership humility was when I was 17 years old. Like a lot of young workers, my first job was in fast food. And unfortunately, this was 1977, 1978. So, we were really in the carrot and sticking world. Meaning that, you know, if you did well, you got the carrot. If you didn't do well, you got the stick. And, you know, my supervisor, my manager's theory on leadership was, you know, if I want your opinion, I'll tell you what it is. And in that time, 17 years old, it was my first actual quote unquote real job. I had a supervisor, his name was Danny. I talk a little bit about him in my book, Lights, Camera, Action. But Danny was a supervisor, so he was a floor supervisor, and I was brand spanking new. I had been a cook for a while and I was learning how to do the cash control and that sort of thing and to actually serve customers. Being an introvert, it was probably the worst experience of my life having to serve customers. I was so afraid if I made a mistake, they would yell at me. But, you know, I learned the technology really well and I understood the components of what needed to happen in the place. And Danny one day was training a brand new employee and he was training her on the whole cash control system and he was teaching something that I thought was a little bit odd. It was a way to void sales when a customer was unhappy. Now, this is typically a management-only privilege, if you will. It's something that managers need to know so that if somebody messes up an order, if the customer is not happy, they can make sure that they can correct it and move forward with the customer to make sure the customer is well served. So, Danny was standing there serving this young lady. And I'm just overhearing it and I had to stop him. And I said, but Danny, what you're training there, that's a manager-only function. And he looked at me and no word of a lie, he looked straight in my eyes and he says, who's wearing the tie? That was my first experience with a leader who lacked humility in every sense of the word. So today, I'd like to uncover the secrets of fostering a humble company culture that drives team collaboration innovation, and employee engagement. And I hate to say it. The reason why I'm doing this show is because I was just in a store and I saw a manager talking with another employee. And I thought, my goodness, if this person could have a semblance of humility, that would be great. And my daughter just recently experienced as a server, she just experienced the lack of humility her management team had. when they decided to unilaterally pull a new policy and affect their whole team to the point where 11 out of 17 employees ended up quitting because the new policy was so skewed against the rights and the efforts of the serving staff. So I know that this is an issue and a lot of people will say, ah, you know, I'm a manager, I have all the humility in the world. Well, the minute you say that, I hate to say it, you're lacking humility. So today, I'd like to explore the role of humility in overcoming challenges and learning from failures and achieving significant milestones in our small business journey and in our team leadership. So to kick things off, let's start maybe by understanding what humility means in the context of leadership. You know, humility goes beyond modesty or lack of arrogance. It's about recognizing our limitations, valuing the perspective and contributions of others, and embracing a growth mindset. This is something that, as you'll learn through this episode, this is something that is really an intentional virtue. It's intentional skill building that managers need to do in order to move forward. Humble leaders understand that they don't have all the answers. They actively seek feedback and insights from their team members. And they certainly don't shut them down when anybody stands up and speaks out. When I step into a business that needs to be saved as a hospitality specialist, that's essentially what I did. I would go into businesses that can no longer compete in their marketplace. And I would kind of go in there to work on the culture, work on the systems, the processes, the policies, the The service offerings and so on. But whenever I've stepped into these businesses that needed to be saved, there is a pervasive disease in the air. One of the things that I constantly see as a consultant walking into a business and I talk to managers and business owners and they're constantly pointing their fingers at their staff. They don't do what I tell them. I've told them a million times and they still don't do it. It's my staff is, oh, my staff sucks. They'll even blame the generations, right? These kids today, they are so lazy. Nobody wants to work. And they'll even blame the economy and the environment. You know, there's a labor shortage. There's not enough people to do the work. That's why we're so short-staffed. Now, I'm not saying that none of it is true, but there is something to be said for the adage that people don't quit their jobs, they quit their bosses. And if you're thinking, but Marc, I'm not the problem, then my friend, it's time to take a dose of humility. One of the challenges in identifying the problem of humility though is that there are numerous symptoms associated with humility values. Since these symptoms are immediate problem, we focus on solving them instead of digging deeper to recognize that one's own lack of leadership humility may be the root of the problem. I've mentioned some of the symptoms early on. Things like decreased motivation and engagement within the team, high employee turnover, and the inability to attract really good people. And by the way, if you're tuning into this live, go ahead and post questions and comments. I'll keep my eye out on the chat window and I'd love to answer your questions live if you have any questions at all. So, I think one of the things that we need to do is we need to be looking at the symptoms and we need to be digging deeper. So for instance, if you have attendance issues, if you have engagement issues, if people are constantly being late, we need to start asking a lot of really fine-tuned questions to figure out what the problem is. It's one thing to turn around and say, you know what? I'm going to be put on— I'm going to create a policy that everybody must come to work engaged. We need to be looking at the symptoms. And we need to be asking ourselves some questions. And really, at the end of the day, if we take on this adage that people will quit because of the way we behave, then why don't we start with ourselves? And so, one of the questions I might ask myself is, do I lack self-awareness? And so, this is a really tough question because to answer the question, well, you have to have a little bit of self-awareness. One of the very first things we need to do is we need to start self-reflection. We need to start looking at ourselves first. And of course, the key challenge with that is that it takes humility to be self-reflective. It takes the humility to say that maybe there is something wrong with me and I'm willing to take a look at it. And so one key thing to figure out is whether or not you are looking at what you're doing and saying, I have all the answers, or I am the boss. That typically is one of the big challenges is the people who turn around and say, you know what? You have to listen to me. I'm your boss. There's a big challenge with that because what that particular manager is doing, that manager has lost or perceived that they've lost their authority and they're trying to reestablish it. And so, this idea of being open and being self-reflective, can you look at certain things? And that's going to be the challenge throughout this episode, by the way. The challenge throughout this episode is going to be looking at these key things and saying, does this apply to me? And if so, to what degree does it? Like from 1 to 10, am I a 10 on this? Do I really need a lot of help or am I pretty easy and it's pretty good? I'm at a good solid 5. I know I need improvement but I'm not perfect. And the other part of it is, do you bounce back on the ideas and feedback of other people? One key to figuring that out though is whether or not when somebody gives you advice, if your first thing is to shut it down, is to shut people down, your first interaction is, I'm the boss, how dare they tell me anything, then chances are you might have a challenge with this idea of receiving feedback and ideas from other people. One test to see if you are resistant might be to see if you've ever said to anybody, Look, it's my way or the highway. That's a brilliant way to shut down those around you and maintain the status quo. What a great way to make absolutely sure that you're not gonna grow, absolutely sure that you keep your team stagnant is you do it my way or no way at all. Take the door. Leaders who lack humility may be resistant to the feedback, dismissive of criticism, and closed off to new ideas. And this again tends to happen all the time when I go into these problem properties. And I start talking to the staff. It's like, well, I keep bringing ideas up all the time but they don't listen to me. And then, when I bring the idea that the employee has given me and talk to the manager, to the owner, they go, oh, that's a great idea. And it's like, why is it a great idea if it comes from me but it was a bad idea if it came from your dishwasher, from your housekeeper, from your sales clerk? Honestly, this hinders personal and professional growth and leads to huge stagnation and a lot of missed opportunities. One of the things that I encourage managers to do all the time is to be open to listening to your frontline staff. They know things. They see things time and time again. They see it when a customer rolls their eyes or walks out unhappy or takes advantage of stuff. They see it. And so, you should as a leader be using their eyes, their presence to help you increase your perception. But you have to be open to it. Another sign that you may be lacking in humility is you have a difficult time admitting your mistakes. Humble leaders are willing to admit when they make errors or when their strategies or decisions are not working. They take responsibility for their actions and seek to rectify those situations. And I hate to say it, but by admitting that you made a mistake or that you're not perfect helps you build trust with your team. So in contrast, leaders lacking humility may refuse to acknowledge their mistakes. They may shift the blame onto others or attempt to cover up failures. This can undermine transparency. It can erode trust. It can inhibit a culture of learning, and it can definitely hold back innovation and growth. You know, I loved it years back. A manager was telling me, when you're pointing at somebody, You're pointing one finger at one person and then 3 fingers at yourself. So it's an interesting thing. One finger to the person, 3 fingers are pointing to yourself. So I started doing what's called the Disney point, where I point with 2 fingers. That way now I can just split the blame. This idea of blaming is really the challenge. I think as managers, we need to look at ourselves first. And when an employee doesn't get something, instead of blaming, oh, I don't understand why they don't want— they don't get it. You should be maybe self-reflective and turning around to yourself and saying, was there something I could do to clarify the details better so that they can get it? And then of course, another question you can ask yourself, and that does require a lot of self-awareness, is asking yourself if you lack empathy. If you're constantly rolling your eyes and saying you don't get how they're feeling, you blow them off. If your thought process is, you know what? You come in here, you do your work, I pay you, that's great. Anything else is just fodder. Then it's time to maybe look at your empathy. Humility fosters empathy by enabling leaders to recognize and appreciate the perspective, needs, and contributions of the people around you. And I would probably argue that if you're in a customer-facing business, if you don't have empathy, you can't be delivering really great customer experiences. You can be doing customer service but you're really not focused on that customer experience side. And when leaders lack humility, they may become self-centered, dismissive of other people's opinions, and unwilling to consider alternative viewpoints. They look at everything as being an attack. And it's almost like their ego is so tied to it. It's like, how dare you talk to me? I'm your boss. Again, if I want your opinion, I'll tell you what it is. And this really creates a really toxic work environment. And the trust just hits rock bottom and nobody wants to come forward to collaborate and teamwork goes down the toilet. So, I'd like to delve into what you can do to become more intentional with your self-reflection and some things that you can do to find out where you really stand on this. And we'll get to that right after this. When the spotlight shines on your business, are customers applauding or yawning? In other words, how is your business performing? Make your business a star with a new book, Lights!

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today at your favorite online retailer or directly at marchaine.com. As we've learned Leaders without humility can hinder organizational growth, limit collaboration, and create a negative work culture. Humility is really crucial for effective leadership as it fosters that self-awareness, the empathy, the accountability, continuous learning, and meaningful connections with team members. Having the superpower of self-reflection, I think, really is the key. It's really the key to figuring out where you stand today. So, if you're open to it, There are 6 discovery steps that you can take to uncover where you stand in humility. And I would encourage you to grab a pen and paper and just give yourself a rating from 1 to 5, where 1 is you need a lot of help and 5 is you are the master of the universe. You don't need to work on this at all. And you might start seeing again, as a humble leader, you might start seeing, oh, here are a few things maybe that I can work on. Number 1, seek feedback from others and not just your bosses. I mean, actively solicit feedback from your team members, from your peers, your superiors about your— look for things about leadership style, communication approach, openness to different perspectives. This is a real challenge because if, I hate to say it, if you are in a low-trust environment and you go up to people and say, I'd like you to tell me what you think of me. You can pretty much bank that you're going to have a lot of bum kissing. If trust is low, if people don't know what you're doing, then you're going to have to somehow build up that level of trust in order to get really candid feedback. So, I would encourage that. Another way you could do it is you could do anonymous surveys with your staff members. If trust is really low and you don't think you're going to get honest feedback, Again, you have to be prepared for the answers, right? Encourage honest and constructive feedback. But you have to be prepared to listen without becoming defensive. You have to pay attention to any recurring themes or patterns that emerge from the feedback. Now, it's easy to get hurt, right? And as a leader, I know that we are human beings. We're just as able to get hurt by what people say about us. But if we can park that for a second, if we could park the hurt and say, I am doing this because I really truly want to know what people are feeling and what they're thinking about me as their leader. And then if you go through it and look for emerging patterns, are people saying the same thing? Are people saying things like, when I ask for your time, you're always too busy for me? Or when I come to you with a problem, you shut me down really quick and you basically tell me to do just You know what? Go out and do your job. If you're seeing that there's some consistent flow there, then you really truly have a problem. But I would strongly recommend that if you get any kind of feedback, you need to internalize it. And you need to realize, I'm the one at fault. Number 2, reflect on your past actions. Take time really to reflect on the past decisions you've made and interactions as a leader. Consider situations where you may have acted arrogantly. You've disregarded others. You've blown off their input or failed to admit mistakes. The honest self-reflection can help you identify instances where humility may have been lacking and allow you to learn from those experiences. I have to tell you, when I did a self-reflection exercise, there was one time when I was committed to being home for supper at 5 o'clock with my wife. I had told her and we had planned supper. I knew that she was making supper and I worked an hour away from home. And so I was getting about 3 o'clock, I was wrapping the day up and getting ready so that at 4 o'clock I could be out the door and be home for 5 o'clock. And at about 3:20, one of the employees called in sick and it's like, okay, well I can just adjust the schedule. No big deal. But then somebody else called in sick and then a third person called in sick and I started Well, to be honest, I had a temper tantrum, pure and simple. I had an absolute temper tantrum. I was so mad. I felt like I was being punished. I thought they were doing this to me. And really, I just had 3 sick employees, right? By 7 o'clock that night, we had gone through the rush. Everything was fine. We had a great shift. Everything was wonderful. It was about 7, 7:30, and I was getting ready to go home. And I stopped myself and I thought to myself, why did I act that way? What was it about the fact that 3 people called in sick that made me just lose? I just lost it. And I realized at that point, the reason why I'm okay now at 7:30, but I wasn't okay at 3:30, was because at 3:30 I was just harping on the problem. And that's what caused me to get my hackles up and get me all aggravated and everything else. I was harping on— I wasn't dealing with the problem. For me, that was a huge learning curve. For me, it was like, oh, well, this is interesting that now I know that this is one of my hot buttons that I have to really watch when I feel like I'm being slighted and I start harping on the problem. I have to constantly ask myself, am I dealing with the problem or am I harping on the problem? And that was a huge growth moment for me. So that was number 2. Number 3 is assess your response to criticism. Examine how you typically respond when faced with criticisms or differing opinions? Do you become defensive or dismissive? Are you open to considering other alternative viewpoints? This is huge. A leader with low humility tends to react negatively to criticism and may feel threatened by it. This is what I talked about earlier about this idea that our ego gets attached to it. So evaluating your reactions can provide insight into your humility levels and give you an insight into Maybe there's something I need to work on. Maybe I need to work on how I react when somebody comes to me and tells me something. I do know that one of my hot buttons is when somebody accuses me of not being upfront or honest. When somebody accuses me of being manipulative. I take a lot of pride in the fact that I think I'm really open and approachable. And when somebody comes to me and accuses me of being dishonest, my hackles go up. That is a hot button for me. And so I always need to be coming face-to-face with that and thinking to myself, what is the perception of the other person? What is this person perceiving and what are they trying to communicate to me? By doing that, I'm able to park the feeling that I get, this negative aggressive feeling, and I'm able to deal with the person one-on-one and be able to then change up my responses. And then of course, number 4 is evaluate your listening skills. It's really important to pay attention to your listening habits and how you engage in conversations. Humble leaders actively listen to others. They seek to understand their perspectives and they create an environment where the people feel like they're being heard. If you look back and you find that you dominate a lot of conversations or you interrupt others or you dismiss their ideas, it may indicate that you have some work to do. And I knew when it came down to listening, I remember having in my office, Employees would constantly come in and say, Marc, can I talk to you? And it's like, yeah, yeah, you can talk to me. And I'd be there on my computer and listening. Yeah, yeah, go on. And I'm still typing my email or whatever. And I realized I was doing this. And so one day I decided, and I think it was, I was probably reading a Stephen Covey book and he said something to the effect of, the problem that somebody brings to you has to be as important to you as that person is to you. And I thought, wow, that's a really good way of looking at it. So I was in this situation where I'm sitting on my computer just typing away and this Employee wants to talk to me. And I just realized, what am I telling them? I'm telling them that I'm too busy for them. And in fact, just the other day I was sitting, I was talking to my mom and I was searching for something. And my mom is sitting next to me and she's talking to me and she stops. She goes, are you doing some work? Do you need me to stop talking? And I just thought, oh my goodness, I've done it again. Right? I was looking up something that we were talking about something. So, I was looking, I took out my phone just Without even thinking about it. But then looking at it from the perspective of my mother, it's like, oh, well, here you are. You're thinking I'm not listening to you or I'm not paying attention to you. So I think we really have to be really critical of the way that we intentionally listen to others. Number 5 is we have to assess our decision-making processes. Consider how you make decisions as a leader. Are you typically, do you typically see a problem and decide, okay, I'm just gonna I'm just gonna write a policy. We're just gonna do it. Or do you involve other people in the decision-making process? Are you open to suggestions and willing to reconsider your initial position if you end up having a conversation with somebody and they might turn around and go, but Marc, that might not work because here's why. Again, a leader with humility will take that into account. A leader with no humility will say, I'm the boss, just do what I say. So, leaders with humility are inclusive and they do value the input of others. Recognizing that they don't have all the answers. I know that I had one debate with an owner of a hotel. I was going through and I was trying to help them problem solve their property. And I was sitting down with the dishwasher and talking a little bit about their thought processes and so on. And the owner came to me and he said, oh, I understand that you're interviewing people and that you interviewed the dishwasher. And I said, yeah, I sat down with the dishwasher. And he says, the only thing a dishwasher can tell me is When they get paid and what time they can go for a smoke break. And so of course I had to point out, I said, don't you think that a dishwasher who works 8 hours a day, 5 days a week has some knowledge about the challenges he faces, the obstacles, some of the, what are the bottlenecks that he sees? What is working? Do the chemicals and the stuff that he's using to do the dishwasher, are they effective? Is the machine working in the orders that it should be? Are there any hiccups that you don't think that dishwasher can bring that forward? A leader with humility will listen to the feedback and be open to that feedback because that's the eyes and ears of the operation. So, we have to assess whether your decision-making approach reflects humility or if you tend to rely solely on your judgment. I have 30 years experience so I know it all. I had one manager actually wrote a Twitter post And I did make a quote and I said, a man who thinks he knows it all is as ignorant as his thoughts, because I don't think any one of us knows it all. And then finally, number 6, I think we have to monitor our language and our behavior. We have to pay attention to how we speak and behave towards others. A lot of my examples today have been my own self-reflected thoughts, but are you respectful and appreciative of people's contributions? Do you acknowledge That somebody was generous enough to give you advice or to give you some insight? And do you acknowledge and admit when you yourself are wrong? So consider whether your language and behavior reflects humility or if you tend to display arrogance and dismissiveness, because that is really, I think, the opposite of humility. I want you to look for and recognize your hot buttons. Have you ever, have you ever said to somebody, you have to listen to me? I'm your boss. Because that is a pure sign that the ego is hurt. I don't feel I am in control. So, I'm going to remind you that I'm your boss. And to be absolutely honest, in my 35 years, I've never ever had to tell anybody that I was their boss. So, the goal here is to continuously strive for improvement and self-awareness as a leader. We have to do this. Being open to feedback, engaging in a self-reflective and consciously practicing humility can help you become a more effective and humble leader over time. It's not something you can change like this. So, I do want to get into some actionable steps that you can take to build your humility muscle. And we'll get to that right after this.

Attention meeting and event planners! Is your company or association planning a live or virtual conference, seminar, staff retreat? Are you looking for a fresh, energetic perspective on what it takes to put on a jaw-dropping experience for your customers or staff? Book customer experience expert Marc Haine for your next group event. Past participants have said, Marc kept us in stitches while teaching us how important and powerful actually designing our customer experience can be. Read more testimonials And find out how Marc can serve you and your group at marchaine.com. That's marchaine.com.

As you can see, I am super passionate about serving business owners and managers just like you. See, 2-finger point. If you are listening to this and you're thinking, good golly, Marc, I need to train my leaders. Feel free to jump onto a quick discovery call. My contact info is in the show notes. And of course, if you belong to an association or you want to do some intact leadership training, that sort of thing, and you need a keynote speaker or a trainer, please do reach out. Let's explore how maybe we can work together. If you've come this far and think, this is really fine, Marc. Now I know I'm not perfect. How can I develop my humility muscle? Well, I'd say, well done! You've done a great job with the toughest component, self-reflection. If you've got this far and you think, you know what? Yeah, I'm not perfect. I need a little bit of help. That's what I'm here for. So, why don't we peel back the onion a little bit and uncover what we can do to become, well, a more humble leader? Let's uncover some steps to developing humility so that you can apply it as soon as we get off this call. So, I will tell you that there's 8 points. The very first one is embrace a growth mindset. Embrace a growth mindset. By adopting a mindset that values continuous learning and personal growth, you recognize that you don't have all the answers and that there's always room for improvement. Embrace challenges, seek feedback, and view failures as an opportunity for learning and development. We actually have a episode that is all about this idea about failing forward. I think as leaders, we're afraid to fail because then it'll make us lose face with our team. But again, I think as human beings, we can tell people, I made a mistake. We need to figure this out. Can you help me? And you will not only elicit a lot of humility by doing that, you will also build a ton of trust because basically, you're saying you're as good as everybody else on your team. who also makes mistakes. And if we're not yelling and screaming and stamping our feet, then we're doing well. And I do remember at one hotel I was in, the bookkeeper one day, we had an issue and it was an unfortunate circumstance. And I knew that if anything else, it told us we had to change something so that this issue never happened again. And I remember passing by her office and she was talking to her bookkeeping assistant. And she says, yeah, I don't know why he takes it so calmly. And so, I knew they were talking. I said, are you talking about the incident?

Yeah, yeah.

You know what I mean? It doesn't even seem like you're mad. And I said, okay, hold on a second. And so, I just stood there and I went, and I literally jumped up and down and stomped my feet. I said, does that help anything? Being mad again to my temper tantrum story earlier is all about harping on the problem, not dealing with the problem. At that point, we had had an issue. It's like, okay, now we know we have this liability. We need to make absolutely sure that this never happens again. What do we need to do to make sure it never happens again? And then, we move forward. Well, if I'm not focused on learning and developing, then I'm just going to keep everything the same and just write another damn policy, right? Thou shalt not and post it. But that's not going to solve the problem. So, it's really important to understand, are you taking the opportunity to learn from incidences, learn from mistakes, learn from your day-to-day to say, what can I do to get better the next time? In Japan, they have that word Kaizen, which is daily incremental steps to get better, right? So, are you focused on that? Number 2, develop self-awareness. And again, this is— we talked about self-reflective. So, take the time for self-reflection to gain a deeper understanding of your strength, your weaknesses, and your biases. I believe that we all have this bubble around us. And all our bubbles are different colors. And sometimes when the bubbles collide, they clash. Sometimes they meld nicely together, but sometimes they clash. So, reflect on your values, reflect on your motivations, and reflect on the impact your actions have on other people. Engage in a practice like maybe journaling or meditation that promotes self-awareness and introspection. I know some people go, oh my God, meditation. That's so woo-woo. I'm saying, sit down quietly. Think about an incident. Think about your role within that incident. What could you do to learn from it so that you can move forward? What is it that you could do to say, what role do I have in this incident? The minute you start doing that, you're well on your way to developing that humility muscle. Number 3, practice active listening. Commit to being a better listener. When engaging in conversations, give your full attention to the speaker, maintain eye contact, and avoid interrupting. Talk yourself out of it. Oh yeah, I'm just gonna let them speak. I'm just gonna let— I'm not gonna interrupt. Stephen Covey in his 7 Habits of Highly Effective People said that most people listen to respond, not listen to hear, which I thought was really, really interesting because of course, that's our nature, right? We're in the middle of a conversation. Oh, oh, oh, I have an idea I wanna share. And we end up kind of fighting that battle between getting our voice heard and listening to the other person. But if we show genuine interest in other people's perspectives and we ask clarifying questions to make sure we understand, then we validate the other person as important to us. And if we can practice empathic, empathetic, I should say empathetic listening, we put ourselves in other people's shoes. And we seek to understand their emotions and their experiences. Being able to turn around and saying, they're telling me something. There's emotion tied to it. Why are they feeling that way? And then number 4, seek and value diverse perspectives. I can't tell you this enough. One of the things I love doing right now is I am part of Jane Atkinson's crew. Jane Atkinson is a world-class speaking coach. She's got the Wealthy Speaker School, and I've been honored to join her team. And I get to talk to many different people about their speaking journey, about some of their experiences. And it just absolutely gets me so excited when I can listen to different viewpoints and different ways that people attack issues within businesses, within their bubbles. And it's so enlightening. I learn so much. by talking to people about what they talk about and what they're teaching. So this idea about actively seeking out diverse viewpoints and surrounding yourself with individuals who can challenge your thinking, I think is really, really important. In my book, I talk about this one business that I had applied for. This was earlier on. I applied to be their food and beverage manager, and it was for a pub brand. And I went into the office and it seemed like everybody in the office, all the men were 6-foot-something. They looked like they were models. They looked like they just got off like a rugby court and they were all like tall, well-dressed, you know, chiseled chins and, you know, they just looked like— and here I was, you know, and it was so funny because I got welcomed at the front desk and they invited me to come down to the office with them. And here I am, 5'10, just chasing after this guy who's 6'6, you know, built like a tank, just barreling down the corridor. And I'm thinking to myself, One of these things is not like the others. One of these things isn't the same. And I thought, I am not a good fit for this culture. But what happened with that business was they had all these— they had too many like minds together. They had this groupthink. And I hate to say it, but 5 years after I applied for them, they actually had to shut down. They were being sued in so many different realms. For things like sexual harassment, sexual exploitation, and whatever. Because of course, these gorgeous men would hire these gorgeous females and all sorts of stuff started happening. Well, if you have more diverse culture within your organization, you have people who can call you out maybe for a behavior, for a thought pattern or whatever that somebody can say, hey, you know what? We have to be really careful when we talk like this. Right? I think it's really important that we encourage open and honest discussions within our teams and our organization. And again, Being able to turn to somebody and say, here's an idea. What do you think? And then just let them talk. Get their ideas. Clarify their ideas. Clarify the framing and the context in which they're giving you that information. You can create an inclusive environment where everyone feels comfortable expressing their opinions knowing that their ideas are valued and respected. And unfortunately, in today's world, I'm still walking into businesses where people just say, you know what? It's just not worth it. It's just not worth putting myself out there and just getting shot down. Number 5 of things that you could do. Admit mistakes and failures and take responsibility. This is something when you make a mistake, you have to. And again, you have to make— this is a conscious decision that you're going to make. You're going to turn around and acknowledge when you make mistakes and you take responsibilities for them. When you turn around and say, You know what, guys? I'm terribly sorry. This was my issue. We did this. We had this procedure, whatever. And I just realized how horribly wrong it is. Can you guys help me? Can we put our heads together and figure out how we can fix this? When you make errors or poor judgments, it's important to openly admit them. Apologize if necessary and focus on finding the solution. But do it together. By modeling accountability, you set an example for the whole team And create an environment that encourages learning from failures. If every time somebody makes a mistake, you jump down their throat and you threaten to fire them, they are never ever going to admit mistakes. And I hate to say it, if that's the way you treat them, chances are when you make a mistake, you're gonna save face by not admitting it at all. And I don't think that's a good way to go. Number 6, I think it's really important to foster a culture of psychological safety. It's important to create an environment where individuals feel safe to take risks. They want to share their ideas. They want to speak up without fear of judgment or retaliation. They want to encourage open dialogue and respect different people's perspectives and appreciate dissenting opinions. If you turn around and say, that's really great. I love the direction that you're coming at this. Thank you so much for the pushback. Here's our objective. And then you focus maybe on the objective, on the outcomes, and so on. And you can even question them. So, with that idea in mind, With this being our objective, how can we meld that to make our objective happen? And a funny thing will happen. People will turn around and go, you know what? Now that I think about it, I guess it won't. Thank you very much, Anna. You taught me so much about how to approach my team with kindness and humility. Anna, thank you so much for that comment. I appreciate that. I loved working with Anna and I worked together for a little while. And she had come in with a previous leadership that was rather toxic. To the point that Anna was never happy when she came to work. Every day, it would seem like every time the manager came in, she had to brace herself for what is the next. It was like getting hit by a 2x4 every single time, being criticized for everything, shot down for any ideas, and so on. So, I'm guessing, Anna, this is really resonating with you today. So, thank you for your comment.

Yeah.

One of the things that I think is really important to do as we move forward is this idea of celebrate learnings and growth. I think it's just like you would admit to your staff that you made a mistake. You can also celebrate when what you tried with them worked. You can celebrate the fact that you had a success. And so, when you turn around and say, you know what, guys? 2 weeks ago, we came together and we brainstormed this idea. And I just wanted to let you know, you know what? Our costs just dropped by 2%. And because of that, our customer satisfaction, our NPR, Net Promotion Score, just went through the roof. And so, I just want to thank all you guys for supporting me on this and making it happen. How cool would that be? Honestly, I mean, people will be kicking their heels up walking out of your office. So, it's important to celebrate learnings and growth and reward individuals who demonstrate humility and collaborative behavior. That's the other part of it. You're looking at yourself, but you can model that. And you can go out into your world, into your bubble, and you can celebrate when you see other people doing it as well. Which actually brings us to number 7, which is practice gratitude and appreciation. Cultivate a habit of expressing gratitude and recognizing the contributions of others. Regularly acknowledge and appreciate the efforts and achievements of your team members as you see things happen. And it's not a thing where you smack Daniel on the back. Hey Daniel, great job today. Thanks so much. No, it has to be really specific. It has to be, hey Susan, I just noticed how you dealt with that one particular customer. I just want to say, I want to acknowledge you, number one, for the kindness that you gave. And number two, I really, really want to acknowledge you for the time you took to make sure that customer walked out of here happy. Thank you so much. From there, you can celebrate the collective successes and highlight the roles other people played in achieving them. In some of our places that we've worked in, we had kind of like a superstar wall. Where whenever somebody did something nice for somebody else, they would write a star and they would write, Candace, thank you so much for helping me with my client. It was great. I think when we turn around and say, oh, thank you, Anna. This was absolutely one of the best episodes. Oh, Anna, thank you so much. Out of 147, this one was the best. Thanks. By showing gratitude, you reinforce the importance of teamwork, And you build stronger relationships. And again, if you can model it, if you model it with your members, I've been in backroom conversations with leaders who are a manager, a supervisor, or whatever walks in and goes, oh my God, Daniel really sucks. I don't know why we keep this person around. And it's like, well, wait a second. You're the department head and you've just said this now with all the supervisors in the room. How are the supervisors going to leave this room and treat Daniel now that you've said that? Right? I think we have to be very cautious in how we talk about other people, even in the privacy of the back office. It's one thing to turn around and go, I'm a little bit challenged with Daniel. I haven't been able to figure out how to get through to him. Then, you incite conversations with your team to be able to say, well, I noticed that Daniel is a little bit introverted and a little shy to speak up. Have you tried This or this. Much better than going in there and going, again, harping on the problem. My goodness, I don't know what's wrong with Daniel. Told him 100 times. So I think if you can turn around and acknowledge, and then of course, the people who give you the idea, it's like, oh, thank you so much. Maybe I'll give that a try. I have a theory that what gets recognized and rewarded gets repeated. What gets recognized and rewarded gets repeated. That means it's easy to get good behavior to repeat itself time and time again if we take the moment to recognize it and to reward it by acknowledging, by saying thank you, whatever it takes. And then finally, the last one is to lead with humility. Lead by example and consistently demonstrate humble behavior in your actions and your interactions. Treat everybody with respect regardless of their position or their background. Avoid boasting or seeking personal recognition. I laughed one day when I was sitting down with my supervisor. I was leaving the casino and I was having lunch with my supervisor and we were eating and he noticed on my arm I had a Timex. And he looked at me and goes, Marc, you have a Timex? I go, yeah, it works great. He goes, but you're the department, you're a director of food and beverage. You're in charge of all this. He says, you should be wearing a Rolex. And I said, why? Does a Rolex keep better time? But for him, it was a prestige thing. And I said, the only reason why a prestige thing like that would be valuable is because you want people to see it. And that's not my shtick at the end of the day. I don't need to be boastful about what I've accomplished. I don't need to brag about my stuff to my staff. You hear these horror stories about these minimum wage employees who are working minimum wage and their hours get cut, but yet The owner pulls up in a Mercedes or a Rolls-Royce or a Porsche. They can afford $100,000 cars, but they're cutting their minimum wage employees' hours to save money. I would think instead of kind of looking at that aspect of looking at how great I am, focus on empowering and uplifting other people. Give them credit where credit is due and create opportunities for other people to shine. I really do believe that The true test of us as leaders is not the level that we get to. It's the level that we bring our staff up to. And as I wrap up, I find that managers who lack humility are trying to cover up their own insecurities. We've been programmed that the manager, we should have all the answers. But we are human beings. And one of the best pieces of advice I can give anyone is if you are looking to make a change, it is to give yourself grace first. Change is hard. And as an imperfect human being, we will fail. We will fall down. So, if you're trying to change, if you look at this and you say, you know what, Marc? I'm going to apply some of these discussion points. Discuss it with your team. Tell them what you're going to be working on. Some of them might roll their eyes and go, oh, we've heard it all before. But if you help them to communicate with you, tell them that you're working on this. Ask them for their help. And ask them for their grace. I suggest one of the best things you could do is say, I wanna make this change. And so, if you see me revert to my old habits, could you do me a favor? Could you just say one word? And I suggest to come up with a goofy word that they can use if you fall backwards and you fall back into your habits. A word that is non-threatening and nonjudgmental. I love the word pineapple. So, if your staff come up to you, if you're talking to them and Your behavior's starting to shake back a little bit, behavior that you've already strategized with them you wanna change. And they look at you and they go, pineapple. It's nonjudgmental, it's non-threatening. You can just stop for a second and take a deep breath and go, you're right. And then you can just move on. It could be any goofy word. It doesn't have to be pineapple, just so you know. Also, if you start to feel defensive or resistant or your hot button is being pushed, distance yourself and ask you why you feel that way. This would be a perfect use of journaling exercise, just like I did when I had my temper tantrum. Pull yourself out of it. Ask yourself, why are you feeling that way? Because really, at the end of the day, as human beings, we have feelings. And one of the things we never talk about as adults is my feelings are hurt. And so what does that look like for you? At the end of the day, remember that building humility is a continuous journey. It requires conscious, intentional effort. And self-reflection. It is not something you're going to get perfect the first time around. But by actively practicing and developing, leaders can develop their humility, create a positive work culture, and foster really strong relationships that are going to be built on trust and collaboration. I hope that this was of value to you today. This has been a passion point for me. As I mentioned, it's triggered because of some things I've seen recently. And I just thought, you know what? We need to talk about humility more. But if you have some questions about our topic today, or you'd like to brainstorm some aspect of your business, feel free to click the calendar link in the show notes and book a complimentary 30-minute session with me. I live to serve. So, if I can serve you, please go ahead and do that. The link is down below. It's the one that's marked meetwith.marchaine.com. And And please, if you enjoyed this episode, feel free to subscribe to this podcast and share this episode with your network, especially if you know somebody who could use it. Bottom line though, applying what we learned today will be magic for your business. Even bigger if you apply these concepts to all your stakeholders, that you model it, your employees, your suppliers, anyone you do business with in any capacity, you will rock your world with the most amazing loyal brand ambassadors. Thank you for joining me today. My name is Marc Haine. I hope that you stay safe, stay healthy, and I hope you dare to be the exception. Thanks for joining me.

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