Making Friends with Workplace Stress

If you have a tree sapling in the ground and it is protected from all the elements, it has no reason to develop a strong root system, no reason to grow big and strong. But exposed to the wind and the rain, the sleet and the snow, it will dig its roots deep. It will bend. It will sway. And it will get stronger. Can the same be said for you? And that's coming up next on Marc Haine Live. Welcome to this episode. This is where small business owners and entrepreneurs pick up core skill sets to help them work on their business, not just in the business. I am your host, Service Expert and Master of Experiences Marc Haine. Thank you for tuning in. My guest for this episode is Stress Mastery Educator Tilde Veron. We will be talking about stress, how we define stress, how we deal with stress, and how we leverage stress to make us better leaders. But we'll get to that in just a moment. In the meantime, I would love it if you would become part of this conversation. You can start off by subscribing to this program. And of course, if you ring the bell, ding! You will get notified whenever I bring you some fresh new content. And while you're at it, it's really important that when you have information and you know that people can use it, go ahead and share this podcast if you know that there's somebody out there who could benefit from it. I came across a quote this morning. Boy, that made it sound like all happenstance. I came across a quote this morning. It's like it just popped up. No, I came across a quote this morning because I Googled quotes about stress. And I came across a quote by Hans Selye. It's not stress that kills you. It's our reaction to it. So that brings us to our Question of the Day. How does stress manifest itself in you? And how do you go ahead and deal with it? I'd love it if you would share your response. Share this episode on social media. Use the hashtag #ExperienceLeadership so that I can be absolutely sure that I can find your comments and make you part of this conversation as well. I would love to hear what your feedback is. You know, I am so lucky to have Inner Mastery Specialist and Stress Master Educator Tilde Verhoorn here with us today. Tilde is an inspirational speaker and a business coach. She has spoken to audiences ranging from little nonprofit presentations to huge Fortune 500 companies. She helps with issues such as loss of engagement, ineffective communication, and of course, stress. Tilde integrates the knowledge gained by starting and running 3 successful companies, having a degree in pharmacy, and achieving expertise in the famed Demartini Method of human behavioral work. Tilde, welcome to the show. It's so great to have you.

Hi Marc. I'm so happy to be here.

You look so fantastic. I love your background as well.

Thank you. And I love that analogy of the tree and how it grows with the storm and the wind. Great analogy.

Yes. Yeah. Well, we all have stress, right? And that's what I want to uncover a little bit today. But before we get into today's topic, could you dig a little bit deeper into what you do for your clients?

Yes. What I do for my clients is most importantly, my goal is helping them achieve their highest potential, helping them unfold their magnificence, if you will. And in doing so, not only they feel more inspired, empowered to be more effective in their personal and professional lives, but they can do the same thing for their teams, their staff. So the engagement increases, the communication gets better, and everybody becomes more fulfilled and engaged and connected. And they understand the interdependency of each other and connect in a way to make life personally and professionally the best for themselves and each other.

I love that. I love the fact that you have this thing that it's not just about one particular person and what they're going through or what they need to do. But it's all that people are part of kind of this connection with each other. And that we are interdependent with them as well. Yeah.

Yes, very important for us all to remember.

Yeah, we could do a whole episode just on that topic. But today, we're talking about stress and how we can make friends with and leverage stress. But I think before we can even do that, I think we have to define exactly what stress is. I think there's lots of myths out there.

Yes, and that's such a good thing that we do that. When I do my talks and I've spoken to thousands and thousands of people, Marc, when I ask what is stress, Everybody gives a different answer. You know, some say it is overwhelm, it's anxiety, it's losing control, so many different things. And when I looked at all these definitions, they're all right. And these are all the experiences that we have. Yet when we define stress as when demands exceed capacity, we experience stress.

Yeah.

So, those demands can be external or internal. So can be the capacity, internal or external. So, when demands exceed capacity, we experience stress.

Wow!

That's probably the clearest definition I've ever heard of the word stress. I mean, we hear words like anxiety, or panic attacks, and breakdowns. How do those particular circumstances relate to stress?

Yes, they are all byproducts of stress. They are our reaction to stress because every person is unique in the way they react to stress, respond to stress depending on their genetic disposition, their upbringing, their beliefs, their values. And what stresses me may not stress you. And all life experiences add to it. So from that, we have certain different reactions as to, you know, the flight and fight, freeze, and befriend. And all these are different reactions we can have. Some people become depressed. Some people become over—

Overwhelmed. Yeah.

Some people get to burnout if they don't increase their capacity. So these are all byproducts of stress, but it's really where on the stress chart we are and what is our capacity. And depending on the gap between the demands and the capacity, our load of stress, also the expression of our body, of our mental health, changes from that we are receiving or perceiving really.

Yeah.

Because stress is also the perception. We're not perceiving the reality as it is. We are perceiving reality as we are.

Yes, yes. I have a theory that all of us have our bubbles and we see the world through our bubbles. My bubble is purple. So, it's not uncommon for me to see lots of purple in my world. But I think where we come out with is we as leaders especially, I think when we communicate with people, we have to realize that everybody is in their own little bubble and that they will perceive stuff differently. When we talk about stress, I mean, obviously this podcast is developed and serves owners, entrepreneurs, managers, leaders of all sorts. Is stress relegated to those with the responsibility of leadership?

Yes, that's an interesting question. It all depends how we define leadership, right? To me, we all lead in a way. We're all leaders. And we can step and take that responsibility of leadership or not. I love it.

That is such a cop-out. No, because we have— I mean, there's so many different stress. And really, at the end of the day, as I was saying it, I realized how silly the question actually was. Because you have people who are stressed about their financial situations at home. People are stressed with their children and so on. And they're not necessarily in a leadership position. But as leaders, how aware do we need to be of the people around us and the stress that they're feeling?

It's very important, especially right now in the workspace, that there's so many changes happening. So for leaders, managing their stress is even more important than before, if there is such thing. Because the way we lead is impacted by our stress, our decision-making, our ability to create, our ability to connect and to have clear communication, our ability to delegate, our ability to give enough work or less work to determine the deadlines for others and to be aware of where we are and where they are so we can connect in one place and be on the same page and move forward from there. And being the workspace right now, being some are in the workplace, some are hybrid, some are totally online, and all different ways of doing work is adding to our stress. So, as leaders, the more we manage our stress, the better managers and leaders we become.

Yes.

And also, we can be the stressors as leaders. So, that's something we need to watch out. Yes.

You know, it's so funny because when I train supervisors and when I train leaders, I tell them job number one is as a leader, you're supposed to absorb stress. Not create the stress. And that doesn't mean that we don't delegate and we don't put people under pressure to perform. It just means that we have to pick and choose. And we have to be very intentional with our dealings with the people around us.

Yes, that's very important. And the more we are aware of our own stress, the better we can manage it. And the better we can be aware of others' stress. And instead of judging, criticizing, minimizing, maximizing, we meet each other in our hearts. We accept each other as we are, which allows us to use our strengths in a better way. So, it makes us better managers.

I hope that people who watch this show have over the 82 episodes figured out that a lot of what we do is we have to lead with love and kindness first. Right? Because I think that's an important component.

That's a very important component. And that's why I get very excited with all the work you do, Marc. And I am totally in alignment with that. The love and care and kindness needs to be there. And it is our essence. So when we manage our stress better, we can return to love, care, kindness, generosity a lot easier because We're open.

Yes, yeah. I'd love to unpack some of the information you gave me about stress load, stress lenses, and stress signature. And we'll get to that right after this. So, stay tuned.

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Welcome back. I am speaking with the Fabulous, Tilde Varon, about stress. Tilde, I started this broadcast talking about the plight of this little tree. That if it's not challenged, it just doesn't grow. It's weak. It's not very strong. How necessary is stress in helping us as human beings grow?

It is necessary. So, there's good stress and there's bad stress. When we don't have any stress, we do not grow. And people get bored. They get complacent. And for us to grow, we need some stress. But I call it, let's stretch ourselves, but don't snap ourselves. And that's where the demand and capacity gap comes in. There are things in life, there are demands in life, as we've probably all experienced that we can do something about, but there are demands that we cannot do anything about it. There are certain things, circumstances that show up like COVID that showed up or different circumstances in our lives, health things that show up that we cannot take it away, but we can always do something about our capacity.

Yes.

By expanding our capacity, we can control our stress load, the gap between the demands and capacity. And when we do that, we need to watch. Like, stress is good. We need to get out of our comfort zone to grow and to really understand our own strengths Our own capacity, our own creativity that we have within us that we may not otherwise find out. Yet we need to take time to recharge. We need to take time to relax, to rest so we can go on. So everything in life is—

Balance.

Curves, right? Oscillation. We don't want anything to go up and down and up and down, or we don't want it to be a straight line. We want everything in oscillation.

Mm-hmm.

A little stress, we go up, then we get to rest. We go up again. So that's why the heartbeat, the ocean waves, these are all in oscillation. So it brings rhythm to life. When we build that awareness for ourselves, then we know when stress is too much that we need to stop and recharge.

That is excellent. So, you mentioned the word stress load. Do you have an official definition of that terminology?

Yes. The gap between demands and capacity is our stress load. The bigger the load, The bigger the reaction. The smaller the load, the less the reaction and our ability to recharge and increase our capacity.

Yeah, it's interesting because I was just talking to somebody recently about how they had a neighbor who had a child that was sick. And she was always going. They always had to be going to the hospital all the time and dealing with that. And she goes, this poor family. I don't know how they handle that stress. And what was interesting was the neighbor came over and talked to the mother about their child going off to college. And she says, you know, I don't know how you do it that your child's going to be going away. And I don't know how you're going to deal with that. And she's— so, you have 2 different people. One's going, your kid's sick. And the other one's like, your kid's moving out.

And both of them had these definitions.

Yes.

in their mind of, oh, I don't know how I can handle that.

Exactly. Yes, it's our perception that creates our reality, right? So, whatever we are perceiving as threat and it's hard to us, we see it as, oh my God, that's so stressful. And you're right. And I say the same thing about a candle is a candle. I love candles. So, for me, I meditate, right? I light the candle, I meditate, I like the scent of the candles. And to me, when you say candle, I relax. I think of all meditation and tranquility, serenity. But ask a person that their house has been burnt down by a candle.

Yeah.

They're looking at the same thing and they're seeing horror, trauma, terrified. And we're both looking at the same thing, but we're perceiving it differently because our experience have been different.

And I'm guessing that's the stress lens that you mentioned.

Yes, exactly. So our experiences in life and our predispositions, our genetic disposition, values, beliefs, they all create that lens, how we receive it. And if we are aware of it, we don't make each other wrong. We just build compassion to understand each other. So I don't go going around, What do you mean candles are bad and horrible? Candles are wonderful. And now we are minimizing that person's experience instead of, oh, I hear you. I'm sorry you had to go through that. And then we bring our experience. Now we can introduce a different perspective. That's when we can start connect and start having the conversations Sometimes difficult conversations that leads us where we need to go and connect us.

Yeah, yeah. No, it's so— and again, this is where leaders need to be empathetic on certain things. Like something, how many times has somebody turned around or a leader turned around getting all stressed out because somebody didn't perform something or somebody made a mistake and they look at it and they just go, I don't understand it. It's common sense.

Yes.

And yet, it's common sense for you. But it might not be common sense unless you train that person in that capacity to be able to live up to what your expectation is.

Yes. And that person that's saying, how? I don't understand, is already stressed. So, they can't understand. Now, they're trapped in their own thinking and they're not seeing the other person or connecting. So, if they were, okay, this is irritating me. This is frustrating me. What is going on with me? Exactly. Yes, I love that. And exactly. Instead, now, if she could take a deep breath and do some of the stress management practices that she needs to do, then she will connect to the answer, to the other person and say, what was challenging for you on this? What is going on? Can I support you? How can I support you? Do you want me to go over the directions again? What was confusing for you?

Yeah. What help do you need?

Did you have the data you needed? Yes. What help do you need? Exactly.

Yeah.

But when we just react and we are not aware of our own stress, we just react. And now we have also stress is contagious, right? So, the other person is stressed. I'm more stressed. Now, everybody's having a monologue. Nobody's having a dialogue. We are not hearing each other. We are not seeing each other. And we are expecting to work together to get the results that we want. And then, we don't understand why we didn't get there.

Yeah, I came up with a theory years ago that one of the reasons why we lose our temper and we get super stressed about stuff is because we're harping on the problem. We're not dealing with the problem. And I realized that one day when I was dealing with— I had to deal with a theft issue in the hotel. And we looked at the situation. For me, it was a question of, okay, it happened. No use harping on that. What can we do to change it? What do we need to put in place to make sure we don't get robbed again? And what are the processes and so on? And it was so funny because I passed the finance manager's office and she was talking to her And she goes, I can't believe he's not freaking out. It's like, but what will freaking out do? I actually went in our office and I jumped up and down and go, so how is this going to help? And I start going, oh, right? And I said, how will that help me? How will this help the situation?

It's done.

We lost some money. But we now learned a very important lesson. And that lesson cost us that money.

Nice.

So now, we can put processes and procedures in place. And for them, it was super stressful. It's like, oh my God, we have to tell the owners we lost money. It's no different than the roads in British Columbia flooding out or a snowstorm wipes out a shipment of dog food. And now Costco can't get dog food, whatever it is, right?

Yes, yes.

All these different things. It's outside our capacity to do anything about it.

Yes. And that's why we need to increase our capacity. And when we do that, we can deal with what is in front of us because we can also go to our frontal cortex, to our executive brain, where creativity, clarity, innovation, reinvention, whatever we need for that moment is already there. But when we are reacting, when we are harping on things, not dealing with them, we are in our amygdala, if you will. And amygdala is all about survival, where our executive brain is thrive— thrival. And so, how do we get from surviving to thriving is our ability to move from amygdala to executive brain so we can deal with it. And, when we expand our capacity, we have the ability to conquer what is in front of us because we just became bigger than the problem.

Love it.

And, I love that you said harping and dealing. Yes. And, a lot of the time, people Yeah. Are just because they don't have any other way, they don't know what to do, they just start harping and become a victim of the situation. And if they had the practices of stress mastery and they did that, like mindfulness, meditation, exercise, many different things that we can talk about, then they'll be able to deal with it.

Love it. And then, last on your list of 3 was this idea of stress signature.

Yes.

And so, this one's got me perplexed.

So, each person's signature is unique to them, right? I couldn't do your signature. You couldn't do my signature. Our stress signature is very unique to us as well. So, the way stress shows in your body, in your thoughts, in your actions is unique to you. The more you know about your own stress signature, the more self-awareness you have, the better you can deal with it and master it. So how would you know what your stress signature is? So think of a moment where you were very stressed. What Happens in your body. For some people, they get sweaty palms. They get a migraine headache. They get a palpitation. They get tension in their stomach or their intestinal discomfort. Yes, like this guy there. He's totally exhausted. And everyone Stress shows in different ways. Once you know how stress shows in your body, then you know that's the time you need to do something about it.

Yeah.

And, that is the stress signature. What are the thoughts that come to my mind? What is the action I do? I may get impulsive or some people drink, some people gamble, Some people shop, right? And these are coping skills, but they're not healthy coping skills. Then there are healthy coping skills like being mindful, taking a deep breath, exercising, journaling, doing gratitude, going in nature, taking a walk, playing with your pets, playing your musical instruments, singing, dancing. There are other very healthy ways you can cope with it. And that by knowing your own stress signature, you'll know when to implement those.

Fantastic! This has been such a whirlwind of information, Tilde. If people wanted to get in contact with you, if this is resonating with people, how can they reach you?

Yes, they can go to my website. Tildet.com. Once you get my first name, all the stress is over. It's still— you get it? T-I-L-D-E-T. Once you get it, then life becomes easy. Your capacity has grown.

That's awesome. So they can reach you on your website. Are you on LinkedIn as well?

I'm on LinkedIn as Tildet Varon and on Facebook as well and Instagram.

Great. We'll make sure to get that in the show notes.

Yeah. Yes. So those are the places they can find me at. And what I also wanted to tell people is I use this analogy, Marc. We all have the cell phones, right? And I don't know about you, but a lot of the times, especially when I'm on the road running around or going from meeting to meeting, I get concerned about the battery on my phone. I'm like, how much battery do I have? Do I have enough? And if it's 80%. Oh, I'm safe. When it's down to 50, 40, 30, I start looking for a charger. 10%. Oh my God, will I make it? Where is my charger? So my question to you is, how many times a day do you stop and check your own battery? And by checking your own battery, You will make sure your capacity is always in a place where you can handle whatever life is bringing you. And that is very important. And that's what I call recharging yourself, right? So there are 5 essentials that help us to deal with stress. That is eating well, hydrating, Moving and recharging, sleeping well, and socially connecting. And the recharge part can be done in different ways. And it is very important that we keep our batteries in full as much as possible.

That's so great. What a great analogy. for that as well. I think we've talked a lot now about kind of being aware and being intentionally aware of what's going on with our bodies. Are there significant stress warning signs that people should be aware of?

Yes, yes, there are. Anger, hostility, perfectionism. Do you suffer from that? I don't know. I did. I know when that starts coming in, I know that It is time for me to do something. And disappointment, burnout, tension in the body, time urgency, feeling underachievement. These are all stress warning signs. These are the signs where we need to stop and say, okay, it's time to recharge. My battery is low right now. I'm getting angrier. That person cut me off on the highway. I started, you know, getting excited. Excited. That means there's something going on for me. Or I'm getting more and more perfectionist right now. I'm looking at every detail. I'm looking at everything. I'm not taking action. Or time urgency. I'm eating very fast. I'm talking very fast. I'm moving very fast. Oh, there's not enough time in the world. I don't know how I'm going to get anything done and what's going to be happening. And take a deep breath.

Okay. Thank you for just mentioning everything that goes on in my world.

And mine as well. Because we are human beings, right? But the more we are aware of that, the better we can take care of that.

Right. It's almost like a snowball rolling down a mountain, isn't it? It's because if you have that stress and you create more stress by behaving like those ways.

Yes.

But you create more stress when you get angry and you blow up at your partner, or at your spouse, or at your children. Or you You create more stress when you figure out that, you know what? I just have to work longer and more hours and that sort of thing. You're creating, you're just compounding that level of stress or diverting it. It could even be diverting it. Maybe you're dealing with the stress that's in front of you right now. But you're creating other stresses that might come out of it as well.

Yes. And sometimes, we use that stress as a distraction not to deal with the other real stress. that's going on in our lives at that moment. Yes.

Yeah. In your experience now, Facebook, social media, we're hearing lots of things now with the stress that's created with teenagers and their self-image. And people have imposter syndrome. And now, they have comparititis where they're comparing their lives to the people's lives who are posting on social media. And comparing themselves to that.

Yes.

What do you suggest about that?

Well, it is a big challenge, especially for the teenagers, especially with what has been going on in the past 2 years that we're losing that social connection more and more. And then they're becoming more connected to this fake or facade of the expression of our lives, not the real lives. So, they don't understand that what they're seeing in social media may not be the real expression of their lives. So, they're comparing themselves and we are all doing that. So, the more we connect to ourselves, the more we do things that helps us to ground ourselves and be in our physical body, because part of it is— Yeah. We're in this digital world in our heads so much, our heads and our hearts are separated. And whenever that separation happens, we are going to have some kind of dis-ease that will show itself.

That's a great word, dis-ease. That was like fireworks just went out. When you said that. I'd love to talk about how we can create more positive change with stress as our friend. And I'd like to do that right after this.

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If stress is inevitable, how can we leverage it for it to be more positive? To leverage it to be a positive experience?

By first changing our perception of and our conversation around stress. When we say, "Oh, stress is so bad for you." Oh, stress—that's terrible. And stress causes you diabetes and heart attacks and da da da and da da da. And stress—you should really do something. It's awful versus being grateful about. Stress is your friend whispering in your ear, hey, it's time for you to increase your capacity. Hey, it's time for you to recharge. Hey, you're not going in the right direction. If you want to live more fulfilled, on purpose, more satisfied in life, then right now is the moment that you do something about it. So the stress is really a feedback mechanism.

Yeah.

So if we look, change our lens, if you will, of the way we look at stress and see it, it's just a feedback mechanism telling us that we are going away from our living authentically, going away from being aligned with our values. And then we can start understanding that stress is there to help us, not to hurt us. But that is, again, our self-talk. If we can say, oh, it's hurting me, then there's nothing we can do about it. But if we can say, wow, this is a friend holding my hand and telling me where I chose the wrong path and I need to get back to be aligned with who I am, to be more of who I am, and to increase my capacity. Then, stress can be our friend and is our friend. It's how we perceive it. And that's where it all starts.

Yeah, it's really interesting, the whole component of again, being intentionally aware of what's going on and getting ourselves like you said, we have the lizard brain. And once we get into the lizard brain, we can't think logically. We can't be creative. We can't think differently. And so, being intentional and realize, hey, wait a second. I'm getting mad because now I'm feeding my little lizard in my brain. And being that aware, people can shake themselves out. I'm trying to remember the lady's name. I just watched something about her 5-second rule where she does a 5-second countdown before she reacts to something.

Hmm.

And she literally goes into her brain like a rocket taking off. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. And that's her pause to take a look at something and keep herself intentional on what she's thinking and how she's thinking, which I think is a fantastic tool.

Yes.

You mentioned some ways that people can deal with the stress in their lives. I'd like to review that one more time because I don't want people just to go through it that this was part of the conversation and then they forget about it. So, I'd like to make a point of what are the steps that people can do when they feel the pressure on their shoulders. They feel that they have all this stuff happening to them. What can they do to alleviate some of the stress?

Yes, I think there are things like taking a deep breath, taking a pause, being mindful in the moment. There are things we can do. But more importantly is having a consistent Everyday practice that builds our capacity. Because all of a sudden, we cannot go from a feeling of anxiousness or depression, oh, I'm okay now. Oh, I'm not. Oh, oh, oh. You know? It's not realistic. Yes, that 6-minute— 6-second rule would work because the way we react to something will pass. The emotion will pass.

Yeah.

And if we took a pause, if we did some deep breathing or some— there are many different breathing techniques. Or if we just focused on our gratitude and just focused on one thing that makes us grateful or whatever is triggering us at that moment, that means we're perceiving what is in front of us as a threat. And we're just seeing how it's hurting us. Maybe we can start doing some exercise saying, how is this helping me? How is this helping me? Will change the way we are receiving the circumstance. But most importantly is having a consistent practice so that we get the muscles stronger. You can't just go and lift a 50-pound weight if you haven't worked your way through. So you start with 2 pounds and you get the muscles stronger. You go to 5 pounds. It's the same thing. So whatever works for you, this is where it's also unique. Something that works for me doesn't mean it's going to work for you. And the belief out there is there's one-size-fits-all cure to stress. No, there is your way to cure your stress. For you, what makes you feel grounded, centered, happy, relaxed? Fulfilled. That's what you do, but it needs to be consistent. So for me, it's meditation, it's mindfulness, it's being in nature. But others could be, you know, and some of the other— all of the above I do, but needs to be consistent. Maybe you want to sing, maybe you exercise, maybe you love helping others, being kind to others, writing thank you notes. Making a difference, journaling. These are— there are many different things that will help us deal with our stress. And I don't know if I— I will share this with you, Marc, and I know you know it, but the audience doesn't. But I just went through a big stressful period myself.

Yeah.

And I'm not saying this to make anyone feel sorry for me, but I'm saying this to make a point. You know, I was diagnosed with cancer this July. And I just finished my 12th round of chemotherapy, which made me believe more than ever stronger. These practices is what made me come through. With purpose, with satisfaction, which helped me tap into my own strength and wisdom to get me through this journey. That doesn't mean it was easy, but it was easier. And I knew where to tap within me to draw what I needed to move forward. That's why it's really important. And I stand here very strongly to encourage everyone to have A practice. Whatever it is for you, do it daily. Do it consistently. And trust that that is what is going to give you what you need when crisis hits, whether it's financial, health, relationship, whatever it may be. For all of us, we have different things that show us, but it requires the same thing. Where do we surrender to? Where do we draw that belief, that strength to go through it is our executive brain. And that is through the practice.

I love it. How important— we've talked about coaching and mentoring on this show many times. How important is it to talk to people?

I feel it's very important. Because sometimes our self-talk, we cannot break certain patterns on our own. Because we don't have— we are in it. We are not on it. We don't have the bird's-eye view or we're not even hearing what we're Mm-hmm. Because we're repeating the same thing. So when we talk to someone, they catch us, they see us, they hear us, and they can ask the right questions to make us realize what do we need to be able to come back, to be able to break the pattern and create a different behavior. to bring different results. Ultimately, our thoughts will create the emotions, will create the action, and will create the results. So, how do we change those actions? How do we make our life differently? It can be done easier at times with someone else's help.

Yes. So amazing. My worry whenever I do these shows where we're introducing kind of these that some people would look at the concept of it and go, oh, okay, I gotta change something really quick now. I gotta do something. And I'm always afraid of the people who like to band-aid something. That this becomes the magic button for the month, or for the week, or whatever. Are there any cautionaries you think as people want to start instigating some of these practices to be able to handle stress better?

I love that question. Yes, a lot of the times, As a society, we became the do society. How many things can I do to manage my stress? One, two, three, twenty-five, fifty. Oh, okay. I'm gonna breathe. Breathe. Okay. Now let me journal. I journaled. Where's my gratitude? Oh, I did gratitude. It didn't work. Oh, okay. Now next run. Run with a massage. No, this is not working. I'll go for the massage. And it's like do do do do do. And all we need is be. So instead of taking on all these things, because we cannot change everything at once, work one thing at a time. Because we also became a multitasking society, right? In this part of the world. And we're so proud. Oh, I can talk. I can clean. I can cook. I can wink. I can be on Zoom. I can be petting. So, all of a sudden, the mind is confused. One thing at a time. One practice, do it, make it become a habit. And once it's a habit, then if you want to add on, add on.

Love it. Love it. This has been so great today. Thank you so much. Do you have any last thoughts about what we're talking about?

Yes, the most important for all of us, Marc, to remember is we matter. You matter. And if we don't understand how much we matter, we cannot understand how much others matter.

Yes. And you know, when you said that, when you said that, you know, you matter, It just tells me that the fact that we matter means we have influence over other people. We have a legacy. We have an ability to be with people because we matter. Yes. And I love that. I love that. I love that as a closing thought to this audience. I love this idea that you can look in the mirror and you can see yourself and know that you matter. No matter how desperate or stressed out or whatever you are, you're able to go in front of that mirror, look yourself in the eye, and say, I matter. I love that.

Yes, yes.

Tilde, could you remind everybody one more time how they can get a hold of you?

Yes, my website is www.tildet.com. And on LinkedIn, Tilde Love it!

Hilde, thank you so much. I really appreciate you coming out and sharing this with us. It's been brilliant. Thank you!

Thank you, Marc!

Why don't you let me know if this was of value to you? As always, my offer stands. If you would like 30 minutes to brainstorm your business, your practices, anything that you think would benefit your business, go ahead and book yourself on my online calendar. This link is in the show notes. This is absolutely no hooks. There's nothing going on. This is just you and me talking through whatever it is that you have a challenge with. If I don't have the answers, I have resources I can pass you to. It's important to alleviate your stress. And as Tilde was saying, we need to talk to people. We need to talk to people who are in the know, who are outside the jar. Because as I've always said on this show, we cannot see the label from inside the jar. As always, I am at your service. And if you haven't done so yet, please go ahead and subscribe to this podcast. It's your way of being able to get first dibs whenever I bring you fresh content that will help you work on your business, not just In your business. My name is Marc Haine. I hope you stay safe, stay healthy, and dare to be the exception.