True love shows in what you do when nobody's looking. A man removes his wedding ring around an attractive waitress, or you gossip about a colleague behind their back. These small hidden actions, Marc Haine explains using Stephen Covey's trust bank account idea, determine whether people actually trust you.
Love is what you do when someone is not looking. And I think if you really let that statement sit, just really let that statement sit, like love— I'm gonna say it again for impact and importance. Love is not what you do when someone is looking. Love is what you do when someone is not looking. I was at dinner with a couple of trainers and speakers. I'll never forget, there was a very, I would say, objectively attractive waitress. And one guy in the group took his wedding ring off and put it in his pocket. Now, I'm not saying— I'm putting mine back on because I'm not saying that seeing someone attractive or saying someone's good-looking is bad. I want to be very prescribed. But those little things you do when someone's not looking, like your analogy of someone gossiping, oh, they won't get it, when they're not looking, that will blur the lines into destroying culture. And the consequences gossip because that's always the fastest vehicle for killing culture and start dismembering the team emotionally little by little. It may not happen overnight. But when it happens, it's going to happen fast.
And at the core of all that is trustworthiness and trust as a core. Because I love Stephen Covey's trust bank account analogy. And when you do little things like that, who talks about it afterwards? And what message are you giving to the world? Right. Right? And so, that becomes a question of if he's willing to do that, do I trust him on more important things?
