Let's normalize THIS in the bridal beauty industry

Whether you're a bridal hairstylist or a bridal makeup artist, I know you felt the pressures of your inbox. Or maybe you felt the pressures of never being able to take a break when you're working a wedding. Hey, I'm Marissa Grace. I've worked with hundreds of brides and I grew my bridal business to over half a million dollars in just under three years. So let's get into some unrealistic expectations that we put on ourselves because they're becoming the norm and it doesn't need to be the norm inside of our industry. And I know you're going to relate to some of these, so let's start normalizing these things inside of our industry. So first thing I think that we need to normalize is that just because we're online doesn't mean that we need to be inside of our inbox. So, meaning if we are posting on Instagram stories, do you ever go and post something on Instagram stories or go to post something on your feed and you stop yourself, you hit pause and you're like, let me make sure that I responded to XYZ in my inbox. Let me make sure that I don't have anybody in my DMs that's asking or needing something from me. But before I post this and show up online, we almost pause and stop ourselves sometimes from showing up just because we feel a pressure of needing to respond to everybody immediately inside of our inbox or they're going to be mad at us or they're going to be triple double emailing us because we didn't respond right away, or that we're a bad bridal professional because we're not in our inbox 24 7. And what I feel like is this is breeding an absolutely unrealistic expectation that we need to constantly be online and constantly be in communication with our brides. When that couldn't be further from the truth, we need to ask ourselves, is what they're asking an actual emergency or can this wait? So there is nothing that is an actual emergency unless they are canceling their wedding or they're rescheduling. Right. So what is an actual emergency to you that you need to respond to your bride right away? Right. I used to believe this as well. I used to stop myself from showing up until I responded to everybody in my inbox, until I decided that I'm the CEO here. I. I'm the CEO. These are my inbox hours, and these are the hours that I'm not in my inbox. And I'm allowed to show up on social media anytime I want, even if you are emailing me at the same time. So for you, I want you to normalize that you are the CEO here. You are the CEO. You're calling the shots. You're the one who says, I'm in my inbox on these hours, and I'm not in my inbox on these hours. And you're allowed to still be online and still have a life outside of responding to everybody's emails. The second thing that I think we need to start normalizing inside of our industry is being allowed to sit down, take a break, and not being asked to fix something immediately. So have you ever been working a wedding and maybe you're running early, or maybe somebody decided not to get their hair makeup done, but there's somewhere where you have good 15 to 30 minutes that you can actually take a break? So you decide to sit down in a chair. You're like, let me actually grab a snack, because I was actually about to rip because I'm so hungry right now. You're like, let me hydrate. Like, let me get some water. Let me go to the bathroom. But the second your butt hits the chair, an alarm goes off. Every single bridesmaid. Bridesmaid number two over there comes over to you, and she's like, can you fix this immediately? And you're like. You're like, let me do it. And it's almost this expectation that we have to keep. Go, go, go, go, go. And we don't give ourselves breaks throughout the day. You have a mouthful of food and somebody's walking towards you, and they're like, can you fix this piece right here and make it tighter? Or you're sitting down, and the bride nervously comes over to you and is like, are we running behind? And she looks nervous because you're sitting down, so she thinks that everything's going to be running behind. And you're like, ma', am, I made the schedule. I think that I know that we're running on bed. We're. I could almost sit here for a little bit, right? And you're just like, I just want to take a couple of minutes. Am I allowed to sit down? So what I actually realized is this is putting our clients in the driver's seat when again, we're the CEO here. We made the schedule. We know we're running on time, so. So unless you're running behind. No, I wouldn't say that you should sit down and have a break. However, you're allowed to take A break if you're running early. So what I would recommend you do is turn your chair around and don't make eye contact with anybody. But no, for real, what I want you to do is normalize knowing every single job that you're working, that you're like an employee. If you are working four hours, they build in a 15 to 30 minute break for all those four hours worked. If you're working an eight hour shift, you get an hour break. So if you're out here working six hours in a row, you're allowed to give yourself a 15 minute break. Okay? Next thing I think that we should normalize inside of our industry is going on vacation and allowing ourselves to go on vacation without the anxiety of leaving our clients deserted or not being in our inbox. So imagine you're prepping to go away on vacation. You're getting all your clothes ready, you're getting all your hair ready, you got all your Amazon orders coming in. You're setting yourself up to go on this amazing vacation. And then it hits you on, oh my God, I'm not going to be in my inbox for seven days. Oh my God. I should set aside time every single day to make sure that I'm checking in, make sure that I'm responding to X, Y and Z, make sure that I'm making this timeline or make sure I'm inside and I'm catering to my clients. Let me remind you, I firmly believe you did not get into this industry to be able to not take more vacations. You likely got in because you wanted the freedom to be able to go on vacations whenever you want. And my girl, I beg you to do it. Leave the laptop at home and don't check your inbox for those full seven days. You deserve it. You need that break. And you are a better CEO and a better business owner when you take a full break. So here's what you're not going to do. Here's how you're going to make yourself feel better and actually set yourself up to go on vacation without totally leaving your inbox, right? So here's some things that you can do that I used to do in my bridal business all the time. Before you go on vacation, you're going to check in with your clients about two to three weeks before you're going to send a mass email to every single one of your booked brides and you're going to say, hey, I, I'm going on vacation from X date to X date. I won't be in my inbox and here's the thing that's going to make them love you 15 times more. You're going to ask them is there anything I can help you with right now? And they're going to come back and whatever was on their mind that they may have emailed you with within that week that you're going to be on vacation, you're going to cover it now. So you're going to get that all out of the way and you're going to maybe work on a timeline with them. But anybody new that's coming in your inbox, you're going to set up a Gmail away message. So anybody coming in your inbox is going to get that Gmail away notification that you are on vacation. But here's the other thing that you're going to do that's going to wow them even more in that Gmail out of office message. What you're going to put inside of there is other ways that you can serve them. So you're going to put a link to a frequently asked question page on your website. You're going to put a link to your Instagram stories and say hang out with me while I'm on vacation. Maybe you can even write out some frequently asked questions that you always answer when people are inquiring with you for your services. Because what's this going to do? This is going to help self service them without you even being there. So what I need you to start normalizing is you are not a bad business owner if you're going on vacation and you're not in your inbox at the same time. It's actually better for you and better for your clients when you show up. Recharge and refresh and ready to get back to work when you take a full 7, 14, 21 days off. However long you need. Next, let's normalize not knowing how to do a certain look and it not meaning anything about us as a stylist or as a makeup artist. The way I used to beat myself up black and blue and bully myself if I I did not know how to do a hairstyle that a bridesmaid or a bride showed me, I would be like I am a bad hairstylist. I shouldn't even have graduated. I am terrible. I'm a failure. Fire me. Yes, we had some NTBs and it would be a full on breakdown of I don't deserve to be here. I'm not good. But what this was was setting myself up for the most unrealistic expectations. It is so unrealistic for me to know every single hairstyle in the world and on every single hair type. Because here's what it really came down to. I thought if I was telling a client that I didn't know how to do a hairstyle, that they would perceive me as not being good at my job and that they would already have something in their mind that I'm not going to create a good hairstyle on them. But that is simply not true. Because you need to understand you are a good hairstylist, you are a good makeup artist, even if you don't know how to do every single look on every single skin type or hair type. That's when I took the control back. And what I did was I made sure I knew how to do signature looks. I knew how to do my signature styles on every single hair type versus a wide range of styles on everyone. Right? Empower yourself knowing that you're so damn good at your signature looks and you don't need to know every single style. What I want you to do is start normalizing, saying to bridesmaids or brides, I don't know how to do that hairstyle, but here's something that I can do instead. If you're a for it, let's go for that. Next thing I think we should start normalizing in our industry is moms going to salons instead of getting services with us. Okay, so tell me I'm not the only one who has had a momzilla. Okay? They are the one. We don't have bridezillas. We have mom zillas. So instead of pressuring them to get ready with us and be there, why not say, hey, if your mom is that nervous, I am totally okay. And it's not going to hurt my feelings if she decides to go to the salon and get a blowout instead. If that's going to make her feel the most comfortable and confident. So that's what I want you to normalize saying to your bride. If you are busing it out at the trial and they're both there and you're like, mom is so nervous to get her makeup done. Actually, let me normalize saying to your bride, I would feel more comfortable and confident if she felt more comfortable and confident. And how I think that's going to happen is if maybe she does her makeup by herself, or maybe she goes to the salon and gets a blowout with her girl that she's been going to for 20 plus years. I think she's not going to feel good about herself if she gets her Hair done with me. Next thing, I want you to start normalizing it in our industry that I just think we all need to start understanding that we are able to turn brides away if they have red flags, even if we are available. Maybe she's triple emailing you. Maybe she's asking you that she needs a phone call after you've already had a one to two hour phone call with her. Maybe she's just giving you vibes that 12 months from now she's going to be a problem and you guys just aren't vibing. So that doesn't mean that just because you are available, you need to take that booking. Because here's what's going to happen. You're going to take that booking maybe because you're like, I need the money right now. And then three days later, after she signs the contract, your angel dream bride that you could have literally that has a dream wedding venue you want to work at, the dream wedding vendor team that you want to work with, she's going to inquire with you and be like, hey, I am so down to work with you. Please send me the contract. I want to send my deposit today. That's what's going to happen. So what I want you to understand is you need to power back and take your power back into the CEO role and say, if she's giving me some red flags where I don't feel like we're going to be a good fit together, why waste our time? Right? So it's wasting your time as well as wasting that bride's time because she could be vibing with somebody else. So instead, what I think you should do is always remember, your dream bride is out there waiting for you to show up and she could be the next person in line. Just because you're turning away a booking doesn't mean you're actually turning away money because somebody else is going to come in and inquire with you and take that date who could be a way better fit for you. So normalize that it's okay to turn a bride down, just like they turn us down sometimes and keep it moving. Next, can we normalize in our industry packing up without every single bridesmaid running over like it's an emergency? Bro, is it just me or is the sound of your zipper shutting like a mating call for every single bridesmaid in the room to see, stop what they're doing and head over to you and be like, I need a recurl. She needs something fixed that you literally just put away. I Swear. Sometimes it's like that. Tell me in the comments if that's ever happened to you. All jokes aside, I'm so serious right now. We need to normalize. Not feeling like we need to pull everything back out. When you know that girl does not need something touched up. If you feel in your heart that she does not need that recurl, don't pull out your iron again, okay? Or if you feel in your heart she does not need her lip touch job, don't pull back out everything in your kit, okay? Don't feel the pressure that just because she's asking for it, you need to give it to them, Right? So instead, what I want you to do is before you pack everything up, go around to every single bridesmaid, make sure you talk to every single bridesmaid and make sure you say, hey, do you need a touch up? Hey, do you need a touch up? Do you need anything fixed? Because I'm packing up and make sure you're setting the tone of like, hey, I'm packing up. Once it's packed up. This is final call. This is final call. So what I want you to normalize is packing up without the pressure and normalize saying, hey, I'm so sorry. I did final touch ups and I'm heading out for the day. This is the biggest one that we need to normalize in our industry. We need to normalize. Hair falling out, hair falling flat. On a 90 degree humid day where she had a beachfront ceremony with hurricane wind warnings. There is nothing, my friend, that you could do unless you were there by her side all day long. But likely the chance is that you're not. So inside of my membership, Bridal hair Society, I had one of the girls, she sent in some photos of our clients. She was like kind of beating herself up a little bit and felt really upset that in the photos the hair fell flat. And I was like looking at the photos and they were photos of the bride when she was eating dinner. So in my mind, at that point of the night, it's normal for hair to fall a little bit. It's normal for the hair to relax, especially if somebody, if it's an outdoor ceremony, if everything's outside, if it's a hot day, and she told me it was a hot, humid day and everything was outside and the bride wore her hair down. And it's at that point Mother nature has taken the wheel and there's nothing that you could have done in that moment unless you were there physically touching her up. So what I need you to Understand is same thing with makeup, especially if you're doing more of those clean girl looks, that's a higher maintenance style. If you're doing a down style, it's a higher maintenance style. So ask yourself, are there certain ways that you could protect against the humidity that you can make a glam wave last longer? Yes, but is it 100% proof? No, it's not. Unless you are there. And if there's anybody telling you that they're wrong because weather plays a major role and a major factor inside of your makeup artistry and your hair styling. Do not bully yourself. Do not beat yourself up for what you cannot control. And what we can't control is what your bride does after you leave and also what mother nature is doing doing that day so she can maintain the style. And you did your absolute best. But the weather said bet imma it up. You gotta let it go. Because all your bride is gonna remember in that moment is the happiness of her wedding day. Not like, oh my God, how does my hair look? So normalize knowing you cannot control mother nature and you cannot control what your bride does after you leave. Now, I need to know which one of these resonated with you, so comment down below which one resonated with you and tag me over on social media media in your story if you love this style of video at Marissa Grace artistry and I'll see you guys in the next one. Bye.