EP 182: Is Your Business Demanding More Than Your Family Can Afford To Lose?

Welcome to the making of a dm. Is your business demanding more than your family can afford to lose? Today's show is going to be deep. This will be a little bit shorter show than normal, but it would be maybe the most profound show I've shared with you in a long time. I believe it's going to really hit and help you in many ways and forever. So with that said, let's get started.

I'm here to help and teach him what I know and how I did it to discover freedom. There ain't no question mark. Kevin's when he stepped into doubt, he's closing deals. Time to tell him what the DM stand for. I'm a deal maker. A deal maker. But I'm not just a deal maker. I'm a dream maker.

Hey there, it's your boy, Mark Evans, dm. Welcome to another making of the dm. That's right, you are the deal maker, dream maker of your life. It's a beautiful day today. I'm literally in the car heading back on 71 North. I just got done golfing with my father and it's his 65th birthday today as I'm recording this and we are in a awesome time of the year. Fall is here, the trees are changing collar. I love it. And I was thinking about something very special I'm going to share with you guys today. It's going to hit you maybe a little hard. It's not meant to hurt you, it's meant to help you. And we'll talk about some ideas, tactical strategies so you can actually implement it and enjoy the results of what we're going to talk about today. Before I do so, I want to let you know September has been our biggest downloadable months ever on the podcast show. So thank you guys for that. That means you're sharing it. Sharing is caring. So I do appreciate you sharing it. I don't run ads or anything on the show. I appreciate you letting other people know. Like I said, you know, if you're listening to the show and something resonates with you, at that top right button, there's a button that says share this episode, share it, send it via text to a friend or two friends or 10 friends or on your social media and let them know, like, hey, dude, you know, listen to minute 12 to 22. This is huge. And let me help you bridge the gap. Let me help you connect with your friends deeper. There's nothing more powerful than a buddy thinking about you when they're listening to content and thinking it could help them or Assist them based off of the conversations you guys have had. It's a great way to accelerate results and build credibility and trust and relationship deeper and with your buddies. So I want to talk about something today, very important. You know, I don't know how long the show will go. 10 minutes, 20 minutes, 50 minutes, whatever it needs to be. But I see a lot of great people. Great people. I've been in business now 28 and a half years and I've seen a lot of things in this game. I've helped a lot of entrepreneurs. I've been the crazy entrepreneur I still am sometimes, as we all are. But there's something I'm not willing to do and I see a lot of people doing it. They're sacrificing their family's life to make a buck. I don't want you to do that. And what I'm asking is, is your business demanding more than your kids can afford to lose? Today's my dad's birth. I'm busy, you're busy, we're all busy. But my dad will only be 65 one time and that's today. I dropped everything to go hang out and golf with him because let's say if he lives to 85, I only have 20 more birthday sessions with him, 20 more summers, 20 more Christmases, 20 more winters, 20 like you get my point. That's assuming he makes it that long. I hope he makes it longer, but none of us know. And I have kids. I have a 9 year old and a 5 year old. I couldn't imagine not being around for my children and justifying it, saying I'm going to make my business better, I'm going to crush it and I'm going to do a deal. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you shouldn't be working. I'm not saying there's once in a while there's inconveniences. But a lot of you are doing this as your normal. There's nothing normal with not seeing, seeing your kids take their first step. There's nothing normal about not being there when your kids have these big moments at their sporting events. I've shared this in the past, but it's worth sharing again. I grew up small town, Ohio. My mom and dad worked their tail off to get what we have today. You know, it was really tough just to put food on the table. I grew up in the trailer court till I was 10. My parents still live in the house that I from 10 on. I say that because every single sporting event. Every football game I played, I knew I could walk out that tunnel and look up and see my mom and dad in there. No matter what. No matter what. And I remember this guy in my team and his parents were never there. They were the richest people in the town, but they were never at a sporting event. I don't think I ever saw him once, actually ever in multiple years. They're chasing the money, building the business. And this is the kicker. And I know you might be saying this as well, but I'm doing it for the family. No, you're not. You're doing it for you. You're using the family thing to justify why you're not showing up to these events, these special moments. And again, I get it. A lot of this I don't want to do, but I know these moments are very temporary. Your kids. My son's 9 years old. If he lives at home until he's 18. I got 9 more Christmases with him. I got 9 more birthdays with him at home. You realize if you have children and you listen to my voice, you're going to know your children ideally more as adults than children. Meaning they live till, you know, if you live and they're 60 years old, from 19 to 60, right, that's like almost. What's that, 39 years, right? Something like that. 40 years, give or take 41. But they were only in the house for 18 years. 19 years. We are so blessed to be able to do what we get to do. But a lot of us have created this environment, that work grind, you know, stay up late. I'm all about some of these things, but I'm also about awareness in seasons. This is a seasonal business, seasonal life. If you have young children, there's nothing more special and more important than those little kids ever. If you have parents that are still around and you're lucky if they are still around, and grandparents that are still around, very lucky. And they have these family reunions, these get togethers, these special events. It's not always convenient. Very rarely is. It's not easy to get to them sometimes, depending where you're located at. But I want to bring awareness to this and bring conscious effort to get you to spend more time with your family. There's no business deal that's more important than your kids winning touchdown at whatever age they are. There's nothing more important than seeing your child get on the gymnastics floor and like overcome or accomplish something they've been working really hard for. And then for them to look up and see mommy and Daddy in the stands cheering them on. I want to ask you, why are you really doing this? Why did you really create a business? Are you creating a business or did you just create a job and you're trying to justify it as a business to make it sound cool? I don't want your business to hijack your child's childhood. Right? And I know some of you are trading late nights though. I don't want you trading your kids laughter for those late nights at work or away. Don't trade them. It's not worth it. The trade off is not worth it. And I don't care how you're trying to justify it or figure this out. And it's hard, I get it. But everything I'm sharing with you, it has a massive positive. The world needs you as a great father or a great mother, depending who's listening. They need you to be there for your child. They need you to be there for your parents. We are leaders here. We lead, we don't complain, we show up. I'll give you an example. Today, all day is dedicated to my pops. I'm leaving. I just left. It's later in the day. I dropped my kids off at school at the place where they go to their class. I just got done golfing with my dad. I'm heading to pick him up, then I'll have dinner with him and then we'll hang out, watch a movie. Why? Because I leave tomorrow morning for a one day. I'm going to dinner in Atlanta with 16 top tier business guys. And again, I'm not saying something opposite what I'm telling you. I'm selling, I'm sharing with you my schedule in the next three days. I'm taking an early flight in the morning. I've already talked to the kids about, by the way. I communicate this to my wife and my children. I explained to them what I'm doing, why I'm doing it, are they cool with it? Are they going to miss me? Of course they're going to miss me. I'm going to miss them. But here's the deal. I very rarely go without them. It just so happens this is a very quick in and out. I get there at 2, I'm back home by 10am the next day. And then as soon as I land, my wife and my kids will be picking me up at the airport. And then I got to drive 3 hours to go to my dad's surprise birthday party. And then once I get back there, we drive home another three hours. I'll be home by 9 o' clock at night on Saturday. So long. Two days. I'm not complaining. I'm sharing. It's not convenient. I got a lot of meetings. I got a lot of things to do. But you know what? I'll schedule my calls during the drive. I'll schedule my meetings when I'm sitting at the airport waiting for my wife to pick me up. I'm not going to be on the phone when my kids are in the car with me for three hours. I'm not saying do that, but sometimes, maybe it's an hour in the car while you're on the phone, while they play, and then the other two hours you hang out and play with them as well. But again, this is stuff you have to start learning to understand how to time block. The reason is, like I shared at the beginning of this, there's a lot of you working way too hard for way too little and literally sacrificing your family's time and then justifying it because you make a couple extra bucks or you close one extra deal. I want you to put pressure on becoming more streamlined, more focused on how to do more with you doing less, how to be present when you need to be present with your family. There's a lot of heartache, heartburn in the industry, in all businesses right now, just with the world, what's going on. And I know it because I talk to a lot of you guys. But I want you to understand this. There's nothing more important than the fam. The deal. If you don't do a deal today, there's a deal tomorrow. That's just how it is. But your kid's birthday is only one time. Oh, I'll make it up to them. I'll take them on a cool trip. Well, do both. It's inconvenient, it's not easy, and it's very rarely do like it got to be damn near impossible. Right, I get it. So I'm just sharing this with you because I am family first. A lot of people come to me. They're talking about priorities and balance and all that stuff. I'm not focused on balance. I'm focused on priorities. My priority is direct family. There's ways to make money without working. I'm shooting a podcast, for God's sakes. Driving down the road at 75 miles per hour, you could be in a studio. I'm typically in the office, as you know, but today I had to edit. Are you editing? Because you're being conscious of what's going on, right? I got to hang out with my dad. Got to give him his gift, got to give him a hug, tell him I love him. What if this is his last birthday? I talked about this in the past, about when I gave my dad his dream car. How dumb dumb I was by not giving it to him sooner. See, the thing is, I could have given it to him many years sooner, right? But I justified it all in my head, oh, this 80 grand, 100 grand, whatever it was, I could do this, I could do that, and it's an investment. And. But I could buy three. You know, I could leverage it and I could buy $400,000 of properties, and I'll buy it next year for them. What if next year doesn't come? How would I feel? You'll have that weight on your shoulders for life. But if you lose a deal or miss a deal or lose 5 grand, 10 grand, 100 grand, today, you've done forgot about it tomor. That's not what will happen when it becomes a family member. I want you to get really focused on time management, understanding what you're doing with your time. Most of you fuck around. Straight up, I don't know what the hell you guys do all day. The majority of people listening to my voice. I genuinely don't know what you do all day with your time. You're on TikTok, you're on Instagram, you're on Facebook, you're doing all these things. I get it. But are you consuming so much that you're never taking action? The problem with consumption, I.e. you consume too many people, too much information, and it puts you in a holding pattern because you're like, well, Mark didn't say that. Mark wouldn't have done that. Steve said this, Jeff said that, Grant said this, blah, blah, blah. Like, you never make a move, you're indecisive, which is a move. And decisions killing dreams everywhere. But yet you sit in your office, you consume this shit. Your kids are playing. Daddy, Daddy, come out. One more minute, son. Daddy, Daddy. I said one more minute. What do you think that does to them? Your daughter, Daddy, let's play Barbies. Daddy, can I do your hair? She ain't saying that to me. Obviously, I ain't got no hair to do. But the point is, you're looking at your phone picture, they're looking at you. And whatever's on that phone is more important than your child. This person you supposedly care so much about, you literally will die for this shit. And yet every day, phone call, text, email at a time. Daddy. Hey, Daddy. Let's play. One more minute. I got a call. One more minute. Hey, let me take this call and I'll come out. I'll meet you in 10 minutes. Daddy. Daddy. And then the day goes by, and then the months go by, then the years go by. What do you think this does to them emotionally, mentally? I'm talking to men here because I can. I understand men. You're their. You're their father. You're their biggest hero in the world as a man. And yet whatever's on that screen is more important than the most important thing in your life. What kind of boys is she going to get involved with? What kind of. Kind of girls is my son going to get involved with if I'm treating them, their number one person in their life besides their mother like that? I want you to take a deep thought on this and ask yourself if what you're building is literally going to serve what you're truly trying to accomplish. I want you to pay attention when your kids walk in the room and they're like, dad, mom, put the fucking phone down. There's nothing, zilch, zero, more important. And listen, if you're at home all day and it's happening all the time and you're like, dude, I just need my space. That's on you, not them. You're putting yourself in that environment. You're allowing that to happen. Get in your room, get in your office, for God's sakes. I have a tree house at my house in Ohio. I have a dedicated office in my house in Florida. Get a dedicated space. It's okay to work. I'm not saying not to work. I'm just saying I see a lot of you guys just fucking walking around like zombies. And yet you're not getting any closer. You're actually getting further away from what you're really trying to do. And I know you're not doing it on purpose. I know you're a great human being. I'm not trying to beat you up here today. I'm trying to wake people up to reality of what we're doing this for. What's the most important thing, why we're doing this, why you're investing this time right now listening to my voice. And if you're still listening, I believe this is resonating with you because it's just awareness. Be aware. You know, I always amazed when I go to a restaurant or I see people, like, they put their kids in a seat, they grab a phone or iPad and they stick it right in the kid's Face while they eat dead. That's disgusting. It's horrible. Terrible, terrible move. The dinner is a sacred place. Sitting down at dinner is a very sacred thing. Like, I have some of my best memories of my life. Listening to my mom and dad, understanding what my grandma and grandpa saying, sitting around, like, creating these moments and memories. Yes, there's a lot of boringness. This is why a lot of parents do it. Because. Because kids are like a bored or they're crying or they're screaming. Well, let them. Let them figure it out. Sort it out. You can ask my children if you ever see them at an event or whatever. There is zero phones or anything like that while we're at dinner, Zilch. That includes me. That includes my wife. That includes everybody. We were at one time at dinner. And again, this was not meant. I'm not knocking it. I'm just sharing with you. But my sister in law, or maybe, yeah, my sister in law gave my daughter a phone. We were meeting some people at dinner at a nice little restaurant, and I look over because they're like eight people over from me, and I see Dre on the phone. I'm like, yo, no. Like, what are you doing? Like, I create a scene. I'm like, this is 100% not allowed ever around me. If you don't set the example and lead by example, everyone else would just allow it to go on as they all did, and they weren't doing it. The truth is, no one's ever told them. They're not even aware they're doing it. They're like, oh, she's having fun. She's playing a video game. She's at dinner with her family. This is sacred. This is literally. These phones are meant to consume you. It's consuming adults. Can you imagine as a little child having full access anytime, anywhere? Ugh. But I digress. I want us to all be better human beings. I want us to look at our kids knowing that, man, we are doing it for them. We are doing it for our family. We're doing it for a spouse. You know, me and my wife, last night, we went out to dinner at crew in Cleveland area, up in Cleveland area. So great little restaurant. And we're hanging out and talking. You know, we got two hours by ourself just conversating. Have a great dinner. What are we up to? What's our big plans? What's our big dreams? Where are we lacking? Where's the opportunities? Where's the obstacles? What do you need from me? These are conversations you should have once a Week with your spouse. See, a lot of people wonder why, you know, like they get separated, right? You know, maybe you're the person listening and growing. Maybe you're not good at communicating this to your spouse. But you need to get better. Maybe just start writing them letters, handwritten. Or type it up and send it in an email. Talk to them. Open up the door, open up the conversation. We're leaders here. We gotta lead. We can't sit back and wait and hope things get better over time. They never get better over time. Something bad never gets better over time. It's bad, it just gets worse. And the last thing I want is people in my world, great human beings that have great relationships today, but they fall apart in the future because they lost track of what they're really doing. I know you're measuring success to get against other people. I know you're like, dude, I want to make millions, I want to make billions. I want to do this, I want to do. You can do all these things, but the question is when? How is it the season you're in if you have young children? See, don't compare to someone like a Warren Buffett that's old, about to die, literally. I'm not. You know, it is what it is. He's old. Don't compare to him. Oh, he sits in an office for eight hours and reads. Well, that's him. That's not you. You're 32. Young kids, hard working, big goals, big dreams, big plans. Be conscious. You know, it always amazes me about the Warren Buffett conversation is you realize this guy literally has a girlfriend and he's still married, right? I think she's passed away since. But she was married. He was married and she moved to California and he moved his girlfriend in with him. You know that, right? They forget to tell you this kind of stuff. Stuff in the story. They're good at painting stories for you, these American people. I get it. It doesn't go good with the narrative, but that's the truth. You don't have to believe me. Go look it up. But when you look at this stuff, stop comparing yourself to people that are so far down the rabbit hole. Look at people that are comparable to you. Right? I can't. A 60 year old guy can't go to a 22 year old kid and. And have a 22 year old kid, tell him how to lose weight and get physically fit. You know, it's. It's different when you're 22. Verse 60. It's different. Period. Right? Not to say he Couldn't assist or help. But it's like, dude, I'm looking for the 50, 60 year old guy that's fit if I'm 60 years old, trying to get in shape, right? So what are you building? Why are you building it? Are you truly building it the way you see it? Are you playing scared? Are you making a lot of money or a little money? Now listen, after you listen to the show, I'm not saying go disseminate everything you do. I'm not saying burn everything down. I'm just saying be aware when your daughter or son or spouse comes up and talks to you. Remember, be present. That's a gift. That is a gift. In today's world, being present is a gift. And I want nothing but the best for you. I want your children to flourish, I want your spouse to flourish. I want your family entire, everything you touch to flourish. But if we're not talking about this stuff, I can show you how to make money. I can show how to do all these cool things. But this is what we talk about all the time in the DealMaker alliance, the DMA community. We're talking about real stuff, real guides, real things happening on a daily basis. We're all dealing with it. This is aware. This is a wake up call and an awareness conversation that we all need to have. You got time, make the most of it. While you're here, be conscious. Some of you are working way too hard for way too little. I saw this guy, he was actually came out and did an inspection on one of my properties. He was literally the most inefficient inspector I've ever seen in my life. He had two tape measures. One of them, 100 footer, all wound up, another one 30 footer, he's putting the 100 footer down, then he's pulling out the 30 footer. I'm like, dude, you know they have like lasers, you know how they have, they have measuring wheels like. He's so inefficient. What took him two and a half hours should have took him an hour. Where are you inefficient in your life? Where are you not effective with your efforts? Are you just talking to people to talk? You know, I see these guys like talking for hours on the phone about nothing, about dick. If you can't accomplish a great conversation in 30 minutes or less, you're doing it wrong. I'm saying or less if you're having 20 meetings a day just because maybe we reiterate what we maneuver, what this business or what this life looks like, no one needs to have that many meetings. No one.

One.

So I'm thinking about you guys. I just felt this on my heart to share with you. Like I said, I just left my pops super honored to be his son. We only have a very short amount of time on planet Earth and I would hate. That's why I want to share this with you. I would hate for us to have a bunch of money in the bank to be on our deathbed, wishing I spent more time with my kids, wishing I went to my dad's 65th birthday party on Saturday day, wishing I was there for my sister at her wedding. Or wishing, you know, like, I know we all talk about, like, dude, you know, don't be the guy sitting on the rocket chair wishing, wishing shoulda, coulda. Most of the time they're talking about business and making money and growing. This is about family. This is about real life. This is about the emotional side of the game we're all playing. Get in it, enjoy it. And let me know if this show hits. And if so, shoot me a message at arkevans DM on Instagram. Give me a shout out. Say podcast family. Podcast family on instagram @Markevans DM. I appreciate you guys being here. Share the show, let your friends know what's up. Join the Dealmaker alliance if you dare. We have a lot of cool people in there and I can't wait to tell you what we're up to over there. And remember, make today count.

I'm Mark Evans Diem. I'm here to help and teach him what I know and how I did it to discover freedom. There ain't no question. Mark Kevin's when he stepping the doubt, he's closing deals. Time to tell him what the DM stand for. I'm a deal maker. A deal maker. But I'm not just a deal maker. I'm a dream maker. The journey's where it's at. It's all about the process. Time to get over to the DM project from a small town in Ohio so I know how it is. Can I come from a lot of money. I remember as a kid, wanted to make a honey rack. Didn't see no one making more than that. Graduated high school with a 1.8. But they should have held me back. All my principals and teachers are alive just to witness this. I'm my own boss. I'm out here running two eight figure businesses. I can walk away from it all and I'll be good. But I've been called to help people just like y' all learn the game, it's time to ball. Everybody chasing the money, but I'm not chasing the money. I'm out here chasing the purpose. Yo, I've been working my whole life. What got us where we at? Is it going to get us where we want to go? It's time to be push. Time to learn, time to grow. I'm over Gavin's dm. I'm here to help and teach him what I, what I know and how I did it to discover freedom. There ain't no question mark. Kevin's when he stepping the doubt, he's closing deals. Time to tell him what the DM stand for. I'm a deal maker, a deal maker. But I'm not just a deal maker. I'm a dream maker. The journey's where it's at. It's all about the process. Time to get over to the DM project.

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