EP 196: Feeling Defeated? Here's What I Do To Get Out As Fast As Possible ...

Welcome to the Making of a dm. Are you feeling defeated today? Oh, this is one you might want to listen to when you feel defeated. I'm about to break it down and share great insights with you on this show. So with that said, let's get started.

What I know and how I did it to discover freedom. No question. Mark Kevin's, when he stepping it down, he's closing deals. Time to tell him what the DM stand for. I'm a deal maker. A deal maker. But I'm not just a deal maker. I'm a dream maker.

Hey there, it's your boy, Mark Evans, dm. Welcome to another Making of the DM podcast show. That's right, you are the deal maker and dream maker of your life. As I'm sitting over here in Parkland, Florida, I am amped up and excited to talk to you about today's show because it's absolutely massive that you understand what one goes through as a true entrepreneur, not an Internet entrepreneur that talks about all the cool things and the social media posts and maybe even follow me. You're like, dude, this guy's got it all figured out. Listen, we all feel defeated sometimes, sometimes more than others, and that's not what we want in this game. We have to stay focused. We have to understand that this game is a game and you're not alone. So as I before I get started here today, I just want to say thank you to everyone that shared the show last week and the week prior. These shows are actually starting to really crank up on social media and the downloads are going up, straight up. So I like that. I appreciate that. That means we're making an impact in other people's life and business. If you have not listened to any of the shows in the past, welcome. Please make sure you put this and download this every. Every week. Every Wednesday, I like to drop a show to you. This is free information. This is why a lot of people don't execute it. Because it's free, but it's free. I'm here for you. I hope you're listening to this and having a great day and we're going to get started here. So feeling defeated, sitting there writing my notes down before the show and it's like, do you today, do you feel like your team's beat up? You feel like your marketing's not working, clients aren't coming in fast enough, revenue's down, teams fragmented, you're getting ripped off all over the place. Your family's life is feeling it as well. You're sitting there you're feeling like, man, I got to figure this out. I'm better than this. You start beating yourself up, what you've done wrong, what you've done wrong, where you messed up, what you should have done here, what you should have done there. I understand that. That's why I talk about thought auditing. Write those thoughts down, get them out of your head, get them on paper. But more importantly, let's talk about what you've done. Right? You've made it to this point. Yes, things have broken. Yes. You've lost some money. Yes, the team is beat up. Yes, the family life's being affected. But we can do something about it if we understand what's going on, if we're aware. Here's what I'd like you to do. Slow down. Get your arms around the real situation. I always talk about the mitt. What's the most important thing today? Not 100 most important things, but the most important thing of the day. Ask yourself what's working? What's not working? Then get your arms around it. And then. Then. This is where magic happens. Ask for help. Get your team on a zoom. Get your team in person. Say, guys, here's the problem. I need your help. The company needs your help. I'm lost. I'm stuck. I'm confused. This is what true entrepreneurship's about. We don't quit. We get pissed. We get overwhelmed, we get frustrated. Yes. And we want to quit 100 times a day. Right. But the thing is, is feeling defeated is simply a feeling. It's not the reality. When you get defeated is when you throw in the towel, you quit. And I'm not saying you might not want to quit on a couple things here, but quit on the things that are not serving you. Like beating yourself up. Yes. You made a bad investment. Acknowledge it. Figure out how to make it better next time, and don't make the same mistake, but move on. You're capable of accomplishing so much more if you let go of the negativity to yourself. And the truth is, a lot of people that I roll with are very positive, but silently, we're negative to ourself. You're better than that. Why didn't you see that? Damn it. That guy ripped you off. I saw that a mile away. I should have listened to my gut. Right? I get it. I'm you. I understand. But what we need to do is get that handy dandy pen and paper, go in silent for an hour, and write down your thoughts. What's holding you back? What's not working on one side and then right on the other side. What is working? Because there's a lot of stuff that is working. We just don't focus on what's working because we're used to solving problems and our brain seeks the problems to find solutions. But when we get stuck in the defeated mindset, we can't come to a solution. We get stuck in thought. Truthfully, most of you are over educating, listening to too many people, therefore not able to make a decision. So you're stuck. You're stuck on execution. And execution will drive you through the defeated moments. Right? It's kind of like going to the gym, man. I'm 60 pounds overweight. Today's not going to mean anything. Yes, it will. It will build your confidence up, it'll create momentum moving forward. Show up to the gym, that's the hardest part. Sitting down for an hour by yourself is hard because you've got so much chaos going on. Money's not in the bank, people are calling you. You're checking email 24 7. You're checking your social media 24. 7. Get off that shit. It ain't serving you. It's. Nothing's going to change in an hour on social media or email or your phone. Put it down, put it in a different room. Pen and paper. Silence. Write what's working, what's not. Accounting's not communicating with admin. Admin and communication with accounting. If it got better, we. We solve this problem. That is, it's called forecasting. Maybe that's why you're having a money problem in your company, because you're not forecasting accordingly. And if you have better forecasting, you would understand who to hire, who to fire, where to allocate funds, where to pull funds from, where to slow down, where to speed up, I. E. What levers to pull. As a business owner, I might be talking a foreign language to you already. I'm not trying to talk over you. I'm trying to change your language so you understand that you're not alone. I've been that person. Actually, last week I was feeling defeated, overwhelmed, frustrated, ready to throw in the towel, which will never happen. But I know it's a real feeling. And what I do is I get pissed and then I sit in silence and I write down what's making me mad, what's holding me back, what's holding the team back, accounting, not communicating. We have a big event coming up, so there's going to be extra stress, extra stress, not just on me, but also the team, what I'm paying Attention to when all this stress is on the team is you start discovering weak points inside the system. Bad communication, bad insights, by the way. Me too. Maybe I'm not being a good leader on communicating certain things. By the way. It always stops with us as the leader.

Always.

Shit rolls to us, it's always our fault. Recasting the vision, saying it more often, getting the team in a group manner every single day. That's what I do, by the way. I load up the team I meet every single day until things are resolved, until things are moving forward. Guys, we got it. I don't care if it takes one day, two days, or 20 days. It's got to be done. It's accountability. It lets them know that we're a team. I don't care if there's two people in that call, by the way, me and someone else. That's the size of my team. It is what it is. But it could be the marketing department not communicating with the sales department, not communicating with accounting, not communicating with admin, not communicating with onboarding, not communicating with event management. There's a lot of moving pieces in my world, and you can't get to that level if you're not dealing with the things I'm talking about. You're stuck at small because you're not willing to go through what I'm talking about. This is very important. It's the only way to get to the next level. Better communication with a vision. You have to understand, what are you doing this for? What's the team doing this for? How you can communicate as a collective, how you can compound your efforts. Don't be the team members that everyone's got to be on the same call all the time. Why? You're the accounting. You got accounting. Good. You know my rules. You know the accounting rules. Go do it. I'm over here building the sales guys. Good. Now you're building the marketing team. Good. They all got to communicate effectively, but at the end of the day, divide and conquer. This is your job as a leader. And it's okay if I'm talking over your head, because this is where you're going. If you're following me, you're going to grow. This is pure execution. It's hard when you're executing. You're out of a. You're a fish out of water. It's scary, it's overwhelming, it's frustrating. People don't respond as fast as you want. People don't get things done as fast as you want. Things are changing. That's good. You Ever do leg exercises and two days later you can barely walk because your ass is hurting, Your legs are hurting, everything's hurting. It's because things are changing. They're growing, getting stronger. Do you think they're getting stronger or weaker? The pain is letting you know what you did two days prior. It's starting to work. See, we get to be an entrepreneur. We get to. We don't have to. No one here has to do what you're doing. You get to. It's a blessing, it's a gift. Because if you push forward and accomplish the things I'm talking about, your future self will appreciate you so much more. You're going to show up in a different light. You're going to have a team guiding and helping and growing. What you do say, I always think about this. A lot of people are like, mark, my sales isn't working. Okay, cool. What's your sales funnel? What are you selling? More importantly, who's selling for you? Cause if it's just you, that's a problem. You can't be the only salesperson to grow the company where you're going. Cause now when you're selling, you're not paying attention to business development. You're not paying attention to your marketing at a high level. You're not paying attention to accounting. You're not able to forge relationship capital with future partners. You just don't have time. I get it. I was this guy for years. My first eight years, I was the sales guy and I loved it. But I always had an assistant. And I always knew if I'm not marketing, I'm not in business. You always have to be marketing, by the way. I'm not saying you have to have a big budget. It could be for free right now. Maybe you're just using social media. Social media is a marketing tool. If you're a creator and you market, it's a tool. If you're a consumer and all you do is watch what everybody else is doing, you're screwed because you think everything you're doing is wrong. You think everybody has it easy. You think everybody has it figured out. You're in trouble because no one has this shit figured out. It's a constant battle for everybody, small and big and medium and everything in between. I don't care if you're making $10 million a year, $10 million a day, a million dollars a minute. It doesn't matter your struggles in the process. It's part of the game. You're like, man, I didn't sign up for that. But it's the truth. There's some good days in entrepreneurship, but entrepreneurship is about pushing the boundaries in your brain. This is why thought auditing. I wrote the book about it in Magician vs. Mule. Your thoughts, where are they coming from? Oh, man, this is hard. This is hard. Do you remember, depending how long you've been in business, do you remember when it's hard just to have a conversation, a sales conversation? Now, it's easy, it's normal, it's on the regular. It's not a big deal. Do you remember when you had to have that accounting conversation? Do you remember when you had to do negotiations on a contract? Do you remember when you had to call your first lawyer? It was scary, but now it's normal. What you're working towards is very important. When you start getting fatigued out and start feeling defeated, it's because you haven't clarified your vision big enough to give yourself some grace in the journey and the process. You have unrealistic expectations. All of us want it done today. Or like I say to now, but why? Where did that come from? Why now? The journey is where the opportunity lies for individuals. Listening to my voice, that's what's going to grow you. I could give you a million dollars today. That's not going to help you. The truth is it probably would hurt you more than help you. Yeah, Mark, it's easy for you to say. Well, I'm telling you, I know what it takes to get to where I'm at. And if someone just handed me a million dollars when I didn't understand how to facilitate a million dollars, I would have been reckless with it. I'd have blown it. It'll ruin me. Just like it does for the majority of the people that win the lottery. If you don't know how to make it and earn it, you're not able to keep it and grow it. Don't get fooled by all this glitzy stuff online. Shut that shit off. Shut it off. It's all a bag of lies. I got these dickheads that owe me money all over the Internet. You would think they. They got jets, they got these cool cars, they got this amazing stuff going on. They all owe everyone money. I know. And they're not paying anybody back. Some of them, unfortunately, going to jail. Shame on them. Shame on me. Shame on me for getting sucked into that. It happens. I'm not going to beat myself up over it. Yes, it sucks. Yes, I'm mad. But I made a. I'm a big boy. I made a decision just like You. That's how we learn. It won't happen again. See, everyone loves the memes. To make a thousands, you have to lose hundreds. To make millions, you have to lose hundreds of thousands. To make billions, you got to lose millions. 1. I should be a billionaire soon. It's way easier said than done. See, the thing is, it's not about how, it's not about losing. It's about what do you do when you lose momentum? What do you do when you have a bad deal happen? What do you do? Do you go deep in a tunnel? Do you beat yourself up? Do you become negative? Do you become vulnerable? Do you become scared? Are you making moves out of desperation at that point? Or do you learn from it, address it and go make money? Go serve the community. Do you know how many people need what you have to offer? But you're not marketing enough and or at all. You're not selling people because you're embarrassed to sell or you're afraid to sell, or you're afraid to build a team to sell you at big scale. Why? What are you afraid of? It's okay. What are you afraid of? Being judged, Made fun of. Failing in front of people. Just so you know that anybody, the only person that ever make fun of you for failing in front of the world are the people below you. Anyways that would never do anything with you. So it doesn't matter. Someone that's above you or going forward, one, they don't have time to look and watch what you're up to. They'll support you if they're in your community and ecosystem. They'll guide you, they'll lift you up and you gotta ask for help to the right people. You do know the majority of the world is against you, right? Well you, I mean that's a scam. I mean why would you ever pay for help yet at the same time they have a thousand dollar iPhone and they get the new one every year. Every time a new phone comes out, they get the new phone. They have a PS5 or I don't even know what the shit is. All the video games, all this stuff, they're distracted. You're not. Invest in the best help you can get with where you're at and where you're going. Constantly evolving that hire coaches, hire mentors, go to one on one meetings, go to events that you can connect with high level people. Get uncomfortable, get in the right rooms, be vulnerable. Not whiny vulnerable. Hey guys. I say I'm a business owner, but the truth is I work for myself. I'm an employee. I'm a slave to the business. The business owns me. I don't own the business. You guys all own businesses. I need help. I need clarity. I need you to give me the real truth of what this shit should look like. What did you do? What was your process? We all have different processes. We all see it differently. That's called life. Instead of stop walking around with your chest up like you're a big swing and ding a ling and I'll get this shit figured out. And secretly you're about to lose everything. Your parents, your kids. You can't do anything because you're so stressed out, so overwhelmed, so over. Everything's overwhelming. I've been there. You're losing if you do that. Have real conversations with real people if you want real change. That's how this game of life works. I see way too many people, unfortunately, everywhere, acting like they have this shit figured out. I know for a fact I've lent money. As I speak to you right now, you're listening to my voice. These guys have my money. They're on three week vacations. They're hanging out with their family. They're talking about all this amazing stuff they're doing. These guys don't have a pot to piss in and they're doing this shit on my money, other people's money. I see them, I'm watching, I'm working. I'm paying attention though secretly they call me, dude, I'm in trouble. Well, no shit. Taking three week vacation without a business figured out. Of course you're in trouble. What were you thinking? Well, I told my wife I was going to do a vacation with her. I don't care what you told your wife. Tell her things didn't work out as planned. We have to readjust, period. That's what I've done. It's called communicating with your spouse. Stop being a p ssy. You have to step the game up if you want true success in the game of life and business. I'm not trying to be hard on you. I'm trying to be real. Ultra real. This game takes fortitude. You have to drill down and push. Push. When you want to quit pushing, push twice as hard. It's the only way to get to the other side because your brain's playing tricks on you. You're consuming whatever you consume to avoid reality. Don't do that. God is giving you a gift. He's saying, figure this out. You're capable of it. Don't run from it. I know you want to, but don't lean into the pain. Lean into the struggle. Ask for help. You got this. You got this feeling defeated. Never again will you be defeated. I play rules in my head. I see all the people said, mark, you can't do that. Mark, go get a real job. Mark, you're stupid. Mark, you're going to go broke. Mark, you're blah, blah, Mark, I got this. When I start feeling defeated, I start getting very, very, very quiet. I shut the noise off. I've lived in chaos. I've been in chaos as a child. I know what it takes. True entrepreneurship is controlling chaos. That's how you get paid. There's no day the same, a lot of craziness, but it's how you deal with it, how you consume it, how you can connect with it, how you relate to it. Who, what are you doing? Who are you doing it with? Get in a group, get in a team. There's so many great people listening to my voice right now. I'm honored to be here. I want to be here to help you. I know what happens on the other side of this game. And the truth is it just keeps getting bigger, more rewarding. Yes, stress comes with that. You don't have to, but it's what we do. Start learning how to deal with it and control it. I control stress. Stress doesn't control me. I sleep like a baby at night. I really do compartmentalize. I wake up at 4:30, boom, I'm at it. I have a routine. We all have our routines. Yours might be at night, yours might be in the afternoon. I don't care when it is. Just get a solid routine that gets you productive. Get you some silent time for yourself. Cast your bigger vision. Understand where you're going. It's okay if it's a little foggy today. It will get clear as you get closer to it, but keep reaching, making it bigger, bigger, bigger. And then you'll realize that what you're dealing with today is what you were dreaming about five years ago. I wish this day would come. What's here now? What? What are you going to do? Well, if you're rolling with me, you're not going to quit. You're going to lean into it. You're going to get around amazing people. You're going to slow things down and you're going to ask yourself what's working and what's not working. I'm going to bring the team in as a collective. I'm going to bring my community that I roll with as a collective, and I'm going To figure this shit out. That's what I'm going to do. The world needs you. There's one in eight billion of you. One, not two. One in eight billion people. You're unique. Yes. You. The little snotty nose, bratty kid that everyone said that could never make anything turn into anything. That's you. Show them who's boss. Show them what your vision really is. Don't talk to him about it. Show them. Show them.

Prove it.

With results. Data, not drama. I don't care if you had a good childhood, bad childhood or anything in between. Go show them. That was a child. You're an adult now. You have something to prove to yourself. Do you have what it really takes to be an entrepreneur? I hope the answer is yes. Because if you are a true entrepreneur, this is what is needed to happen in the day of life. As an entrepreneur. This is what we do. It's not easy. Hiring, firing, low money, lots of money. Oh shit. Taxes. Oh shit. I gotta call this guy. Oh my God. This broke. Oh crap. I forgot this. Oh my God. My team's quitting. This is happening. It's endless. But what do you do as where you're at? Are you. Do you have a business or do you have a business owned you? Or do you own the business? Be honest with yourself. Start figuring that. Get around people that understand this game. We talk about this in the DM Alliance. It's $1,000 a month. That's it. $1,000 a month. I bring in high level people from all over the country. Not just me, but big players. 100 millionaires, billionaires and beyond into the group to talk about how to build real organizations, how to manage. This conversation, I'm talking about today. Even at a higher level, this is a constant thing. Not a one time podcast show thing. It's a constant thing. I know because I am you. You can learn more about it@dealmakeralliance.com again dealmakeralliance.com join. Get in a room. Connect. Let's crush it together. Stay focused. Feeling defeated. Do something about it. Stop soaking in the sorrows. You can't do anything about the past. I can only do things with right now. And that's it. Get your arms around it. Get focused and crush it. So with that said.

I'm here to help and teach him what I know and how I did it to discover freedom. There ain't no question mark. Kevin's when you step into doubt, he's closing deals. Time to tell him what the DM stand for. I'm A deal maker. A deal maker. But I'm not just a deal maker. I'm a dream maker. The journey's where it's at. It's all about the process. Time to get over to the DM project from a small town down in Ohio so I know how it is. Can I come from a lot of money. I remember as a kid wanted to make a honey breath Ain't seen no one making more than that. Graduated high school with a 1.8 but it should have held me back. I hope my principals and teachers are alive just to witness this. I'm a own boss. I'm out here running two way figure businesses. I can walk away from it all and I'll be good. But I've been called to help people just like y' all learn the game. It's time to ball everybody to chasing the money. But I'm not chasing the money. I'm out here chasing the purpose. Yo I've been working my whole life. What got us where we at? Is it gonna get us where we wanna go? It's time to push. Time to learn, time to grow. I'm more Kevin's DM I'm here to help and teach him what I know and how I did it to discover freedom There ain't no question mark. Kevin's when he stepping the doubt, he's closing deals Time to tell him what the DM stand for how much A deal maker, a deal maker. But I'm not just a deal maker I'm a dream maker. The journey's where it's at. It's all about the process. Come to get over to the DM project I'm working here. I'm deal maker. Deal maker Deal maker Maker Deal maker. Deal maker. Deal maker project.

This is the podcastfactory.

Com.