018: Manifesting better relationships and dissolving limiting beliefs

Hi everybody, how are you all? I hope everyone is good. Thank you so, so much for joining me once again. I hope you've all successfully managed to get through January. Yippee! And I've got rid of my sore throat. Well, just about anyway, so The last few episodes, if you've listened, oh my God, my throat, it sounds so bad. I'm thinking about even re-recording the episodes. So embarrassing. But anyway, I've got over it. I saw on Instagram this week that a few of you have been doing Dry January as well. So I hope you've managed to hit your goal of not drinking throughout. I'm on day 25 of my 75-day challenge. So I'm a third of the way there, but what a difference it's made to me. Like I've lost just under 10 pounds, like 9.8 pounds, I think it is so far. And I feel so much stronger from training every single day, and I just feel like emotionally and mentally powerful from eating better. Like, I'm not having Domino's pizzas and Papa John's and stuff all the time because I was having them like twice a week, and Chinese and Indians and things like that. And I haven't had any caffeine as well, so I'm just like naturally high on life. But I don't think I've ever gone so long without a takeaway, so I'm dead proud of myself. Like, I hope you're all still aiming for the sky as well with your vision boards. Like your goals for 2022. So one of the things that I wanted to start doing properly this year and that I put on my vision board for this year is yoga. So in that first lockdown back in March 2020, you know, when all the gyms were closed, Boris said that we were only allowed outside for 30 minutes a day. What a joke. I joined like an online fitness video membership and I was doing yoga every morning before I had me breakfast. And I felt really, really good for doing it. And I was like, absolute bendy Wendy. But my mobility and my flexibility was better then than it ever has been in me entire life. And I think the breathing exercises obviously really made me feel like I was getting in a meditation just before work. And it just felt like I was meditating at the same time as exercising. And I just loved the fact that I could do that in me own time. So once the gyms reopened and life went you know, semi back to normal, I just kind of let it all slip and I didn't keep it up at all. But last week, my PT Josie, uh, she started teaching a power stretch class, which is kind of a yoga style class with stretching and things like that, on a Friday night up in Corbridge. Now Corbridge is a little village in the middle of nowhere. Seriously, like, I didn't even know this place existed. I drove in, it was like Emmerdale, it's like 20 minutes outside of Newcastle. I'm absolutely shook. I'm still going to go back. Um, anyway, she's putting on this amazing class, and she went around saging the place first, and we all started by, you know, connecting to the breath, doing some yoga poses and some ab work. And then we ended the session with this like 10-minute or so lay-down meditation. And you know when you just feel like you've had such, ah, like a weight lifted off your shoulders? I just felt so zen as I was driving home. So I've just basically decided to sign up to it every Friday. It's something for me. Like I say, it's my time to get away from my crazy home life. It just takes some time out for me to chill, relax, breathe, and it'll also feel like I've had a proper workout because it was really powerful on the abs. Like, some of the moves I couldn't even hold for too long because, I don't know, I just felt like me abs were going to explode and pop. But the next day after as well, I was laughing at something and it physically hurt to laugh. So I really feel like I've had a really good workout as well, so I'm definitely going to keep that up. And I know that we spoke last week about removing blockages, you know, to allow your manifestations to actually happen. And as a bit of homework and research for myself, I recently signed up to this 3-week money manifestation course just to basically see if I could really push myself and, you you know, potentially double or even triple my income in 2022. So a few of you have messaged me this week about the episode last week about asking what your limiting beliefs and blockages might be. But that's pretty hard for me to answer for you on your behalf because I don't really know the struggles that you've been through in your life. Do you know what I mean? Like, I don't know your particular upbringing. Do you know what I mean? So the first session of this Money Manifestation Shop workshop, sorry, shop, was coincidentally all about removing those limiting beliefs. And I didn't realize when I started it how emotional I would get within the first hour. So I thought it would be something that I could share with you so that you understand a bit more about what limiting beliefs and blockages actually are. So as always, feel free, you can do this at home as well after listening to this, but we were all asked to sit and journal for maybe 5 minutes about what was the role of money in your childhood. So we were made to think about things like, did you have enough to get by? What did your parents always say about money? What was their attitudes to money? What kind of felt awkward and uncomfortable for you around money? And then after the 5 minutes, I just had tears. Like, all these memories came flooding back to us about being younger, just memories about money basically. I'll share a couple of them with you now because I think it'll give you a better understanding of the kind of things that you need to work through yourself to remove those blocks. So one of my first memories that came to mind was in year 1 at school, or reception or whatever you call it these days. I was like 5-year-old basically. I'd gone in and it was the day that we were going to have the big, you know, school year photo where everyone goes on the field, you all get put in like 3 or 4 rows, the teacher stands at the end, that thing. So every single person in that photo is in a burgundy sweatshirt. Me? I was in a burgundy bobble knit jumper that I'm pretty sure me mam either made herself or me nan did. Someone did, or it was passed down, God knows. But thinking back to that day, I remember our headteacher— I mean, she was a bit of a bitch anyway— but I remember her pulling me to one side and saying, 'Can your mother not afford school uniform or something?' before taking me from the center of the middle row and placing me at the very end next to the teacher. And the teacher kind of did her best to stand in front of us to hide the fact that I was the odd one out in the photo. Now, that kind of just stuck with me all these years, and I've never really associated it with money, but that's probably my first ever memory of my limiting beliefs around money. So as well as that, I used to get free school meals, and I've spoke about this in a past episode, I know, about how I came from nothing to where I am now. But me mam quit her job to basically full-time take care of me after me dad walked out. And those free school meals were hard for me. If anyone at school saw you with your free school meal card, you would get names shouted at ya, you'd get tormented, you'd get kicked, you'd get bullied. And I went through that until I was 16. People at secondary school would have, you know, like fancy planners in class and jotters and things, and they would be using sticky-back plastic to, I don't know, like jazz up their books and things like that. And they would be going skating or bowling at weekends, they would be meeting up to go for food on nights. But I couldn't do any of that because my mum couldn't afford to keep paying for us, do you know what I mean? Like, I think I used to get a pound a week off me nana. I mean, look, I'm talking like, what, 25 years ago? So a pound was still all right. I think it went up to £2 when I got into my teens, but it's still not like enough to like pay for food and pay for bowling and skating like all my friends' mums were paying for. But I remember as well, we went to France on a school trip and my mum scraped money together to make sure that I could go. She always made sure that I didn't go without, you know what I mean? But I remember her sitting there crying when I got home she'd paid for me camera to be developed and there wasn't a single photo of me on the roll. So most of the photos were just blurry and taken from the inside of the bus. You were unable to make out and even tell what each photo was actually of. And I think this obviously just made her think like, I've spent all this money and I've got nothing to show for it, do you know what I mean? So me mam always said the standard, you know, money doesn't grow on trees, or 'Shut that door, you weren't born in a barn,' because the heating was escaping. 'We can't afford that.' 'Stop wasting your money.' You know, all negative connotations that I now associate with a severe lack of money in my life. And it's a lot more in depth, but I'll kind of leave it at that as those examples. I just wanted to give you some examples of some of the things that I was working through so that you can look into your own life and do that bit of work for yourself. So every single day what I've been doing is I've been thinking about each limiting belief that I have from being a child and being raised that way. And then I've been thinking about what evidence is there that these beliefs are not real. Now, I spoke with Johnny about this the other day, me fiancé, and he thinks that's why I'm kind of obsessed with free things. Like, I know this is gonna sound really, really random, but if someone has furniture or anything similar on Facebook and they're giving it away for free, I just feel like I'm running around the house with a tape measure to see where it could fit, despite not even needing it in me life. Like, if I see something whilst out and about, or I find something whilst on a walk, for example, I'll even bring it home until he bins it. You know, stupid little things like, you know, like tennis balls, keyrings, just random crap I find on me walks. And I've always wondered why I do it, and he thinks that's why. It's kind of made me realize that I I actually don't need any of this. Like, I have everything I need in my beautiful home right now. Both mine and me mam's lives are so different now, but I definitely think I've held on to some of the feelings and the resentments, you know, like I needed to speak with her to release these limiting blocks and beliefs. And for years, I always thought that the only way that I could raise my income was through working meself into the ground. Do you know what I mean? But I've made money in the past few years in loads of different ways. Like in the first episode, I talked about winning Tipping Point. I've had inheritance, I've had checks in the mail for tax rebates, I've had bank errors in my favor, I've had PPI claims. Do you know what I mean? Like friends and family have given me money, like for doing things for them. Do you know what I mean? You can always, always make money. And I need to learn that it's safe for me to earn money and it's possible for me to earn it in so many different routes than just my standard NHS job where I literally slog myself for 40 hours a week for terrible pay. Not gonna lie. But in the last year, obviously I launched Canny Crystals. I launched that on my birthday last year, March 30th, and I now have 70,000 followers on TikTok. I have 3,500 people listening to this podcast a week. I've had over 2,000 orders. The business is going from strength to strength. It's more than doubling my income on a monthly basis. And I'm forever appreciative and grateful. So to release these limiting beliefs and blocks, I had a conversation with my mum earlier this week, and admittedly it obviously got her quite upset because she didn't realize how much of my childhood that I just kept in my head, do you know what I mean, and not spoken to anyone about since it happened. Um, but everything started to make sense the more that we spoke. So both me and my mum are terrible for buying people things that we barely know. So someone I'll have met once or twice at the gym or at work will say it's their birthday, and then I'll walk with a cake and cards and balloons, like totally over the top. But I think that's all just because we never had money before, and we know how isolated we were because of that. So it's almost like we're attempting to buy the friendship, which is really fucking sad, I know. But it's really opened my eyes as to why we're the way we are. I'm actually like tearful, like, reading this out right now and talking to youse about it. But yeah, um, my mom does exactly the same. Like, my mom works maybe 5 miles from our house. There's been times where I've said to my mom, why are you leaving an hour early before you do to go to work? She was going out of her way 15 miles in the opposite direction to pick up one of her colleagues to take them to work just because the colleague didn't like getting the bus. That really upset me, and I just said like, "Mum, they're literally walking all over you because you're too kind." Like, my mum is too kind. She's the epitome of kindness. And people will walk all over you unless you put your foot down, unless you say something. And I think since then, like, that went on for about 2 years, and it really upset me that someone was taking advantage of my mum like that. And my mum would buy them Christmas presents and birthday presents and not get a thing in return. And I'm not saying that people give to receive, because I don't, you know what I mean? And my mom doesn't and stuff. We're just kind, we're just kind-hearted people. But it would be nice to be appreciated. And I said, when was the last time that person said thanks and stuff like that? And she said, I'm gonna have to knock it on the head. And I was like, yeah, you bloody are. But anyway, I think my mom initially found all of this talk that I had with her about my limiting beliefs, I think she initially found it all hard to take. But the more I spoke to her about it, the more upset she got. So I just think that she clearly felt the same way that I did about it all, and it was kind of releasing for her as well. So I'll sometimes buy things that I don't need just because I have the money sitting there in my bank, almost like I feel like I need to spend it quick before it disappears, which isn't the case at all. And I mean, I look back at some of my purchases last year— I spent £200 on a Ninja air fryer. I mean, don't get us wrong, I use it more than I use the oven itself now, but did I need it? No. Did I buy it out of boredom and just for the sake of a lavish purchase? Abso-fucking-lutely. We live in a 3-storey townhouse, okay? I hate plugging the hoover in downstairs, doing the whole house, you get right to the top floor and the cable won't bloody reach into the bedrooms on the top floor. So last year I bought a bloody new Shark cordless hoover. Like, yes, it's easier than plugging it in and running around the house, but did I really need to spend that much on a new Hoover? No. Did I buy it out of boredom and all for the sake of a lavish purchase? Absolutely. Can you see where I'm coming from? I buy out of boredom. I buy because I'm scared that money is just going to grow legs and walk out of my account. And they are my limiting beliefs and blocks that I have been working on and that I'm dissolving and getting rid of. So I kinda felt bad when I came off the phone to me mam, so much so that I rang a flower shop local to her and got them to deliver some flowers to her house to say sorry for getting her so upset. But even that itself was ironically me buying for the sake of buying and attempting to buy me mam's friendship back. Of course she loves us unconditionally, of course she's always there as a friend as well as a mother, but I just felt like I needed to say sorry and send her token of me love. Which is nice in a way, but it's ironically what's holding me back from making more money. So if you get a chance, try journaling and ask yourself some questions about your limiting beliefs. Just really search your mind for past memories on where these all stem from. And then once you journal them out, write down under each one why you know that that statement isn't true in your life today. And then when you're ready, let them go. You can let them go by having the conversation like I did with my mom You can talk to someone about them if it relates to someone. You can set fire to that page of your journal, burn your thoughts up, get rid of them. Anything that symbolizes getting rid of, even just tearing up that page, tearing it up into tiny little bits and binning the bits of paper to get them out of your life. Just this morning, I watched a documentary on Netflix. Some of you might have seen it. It's called Minimalism, a documentary about the important things. And it really helped open my eyes to see what's truly important in life and why kind of decluttering your life of things that you don't bring your happiness or joy can truly make way for other new experiences and things to come in your life in their place. It also goes into like how when things are minimal, you've got a lot less stress and anxiety about situations because you're not thinking about as many things. Have a watch if you're interested. It's basically like It's a similar concept to Spark and Joy, you know, the following up to, um, what's it called, Tidying Up with Marie Kondo, for those of you that have seen either of them before. It's very, very good though, and it talks about how living a minimal life can really, really help you, and not, not to basically aspire to be a Kardashian or Beyoncé— as much as I love Beyoncé— but not to aspire to be her, do you know what I mean? And you've got to realize that life is real life. It's not Beyoncé for everyone. It's not always a Beyoncé day for everyone. Sound like freaking Molly Mae now, don't I? I'll probably get pulled for this podcast. Um, but anyway, watching that has really, really helped me with overcoming me blockages and limiting beliefs. But hopefully it does the same for you if you give it a watch. Okay, and breathe. So that's roughly where we are, 17 minutes 30 of chit-chat, and I haven't even spoke about the freaking main topic of this week's episode yet. This is going gonna be a long one then, isn't it? Someone last week who I met was talking about the podcast and she asked if I had guests on. And when I told her not just yet, but I'm working on it, she was like, oh my God, you talk on your own for 30 minutes an episode? Are there never uncomfortable silences? I was like, girl, do you even know me? I'm mid-working out in the gym and I'm still talking 110 miles an hour. Anyway, right, focus, Martin, focus. Right, this week I had a message. I'm gonna get this up from someone. Chloe, I think it was Chloe. Chloe, there we go. I had a message from someone called Chloe. Hi Chloe, um, asking about how to use the law of attraction and manifesting to help build a loving relationship when you're having difficulties. So not just attracting your partner, but how to settle out those difficulties, which is a really, really good question. So I know I've spoken in the past about moving circumstances in your life to allow the universe to give you more. So for example, living your life as though you were already in a relationship, yada yada. But just for the benefit of you, Chloe, and anybody else that for that matter, let's delve into and expand on manifesting relationships in a bit more detail, talking about what to do when we run into those difficult patches. Okay, marriage counselor head on, here we go. As we all know by now, we are creators of our universe, and every wish that we want to create will manifest in our lives in some shape or form. All of our wishes, our thoughts, our feelings, they're really important too because they'll all manifest, okay? So thoughts create the words that we speak, the feelings that we feel, and our actions. And our actions are particularly powerful because at the end of the day, they're our thoughts that have caused us to act. Now, we may not even realize what our innermost thoughts are, but we can see what we've been thinking by looking at the actions that we've taken. So when we want to attract something into our life, we need to make sure that our actions don't contradict our desires. And I've said this so many times before in past episodes, haven't I? Act one way if you want that in your life. Don't act in a totally different way, do you know what I mean? If you want money, act like you've already got it. You've got to fake it till you make it, so they say. So there's a story of exactly this in the book The Secret, and it's a story of a woman who wanted to attract her perfect partner in her life. So she'd done all the right things. She got clear about what she wanted, like what she wanted him to be like. She made a detailed list of all of his qualities. She was visualizing this man in her life. Despite doing everything, there was still no sign of him. And then one day, as she arrived home, She was parking her car in the middle of her garage, and she gasped as she realised that her actions were contradicting her desires and what she truly wanted in life. So she said to herself, if her car was in the middle of the garage, there was no room for her perfect partner's car. Her actions were powerfully saying to the Universe that she didn't believe that she was going to receive what she had asked for. So she immediately cleaned up her garage and she parked her car to one side. She left space for her perfect partner's car on the other side. She then went into her bedroom. She opened up her wardrobe. It was jammed full of clothes. There was no room for her perfect partner's clothes, so she moved some of her clothes to make space. She had also been sleeping in the middle of her bed, and she began sleeping on her side, you know, leaving space for her partner. And this woman relayed her story to someone over dinner one night. And sitting next to her at the table was her perfect partner. I know I spoke about on another episode about my friend Georgia who was unemployed. I can't remember what episode it is, go back and have a listen. But she was unemployed and I said to her, I was like, "You're just sitting around slobbing all day. You're basically hunting for jobs. You're making yourself feel desperate and that's where you're going wrong." So she started setting her alarm earlier in the morning. She started visiting a coffee shop in the morning. She was taking her laptop. She was dressing the part as if she was going to work. She was feeling motivated and things like that. She was going to the same coffee shop every day, and all of a sudden the woman who owns the coffee shop offered her a job because she was going to expand the cafe next door. You know what I mean? It's example after example. It's all the same. It's your actions contradicting your desires, basically. But inside relationships, it's important to first understand who's coming into the relationship. And not just your partner. So you need to understand yourself first. Just think, like, how can you ever expect anyone else to enjoy your company if you don't enjoy your own company? You've got to get really, really clear. It's like, what is it that RuPaul always says? If you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else? Can I get an amen up in here? That was such a crap impression, I'm really, really sorry. But just ask yourself, Do you really treat yourself the way that you want other people to treat you? When you don't treat yourself the way that you want others to treat you, you can never change the way that things are in your life. Your actions are your powerful thoughts. So if you don't treat yourself with love and respect, you're just basically emitting that signal to the universe saying, "You're not important enough. You're not worthy enough. You're not deserving enough." And that signal will continue to be broadcast and you will experience more situations of people not treating you well. You have got to begin to treat yourself with love and respect. You've got to emit that signal and on that frequency, okay? Then the Law of Attraction will move the entire universe and your life will be full of people who love and respect you. Many people have sacrificed themselves for others, but thinking that when they sacrifice themselves, they're being a good person. I'm one of them. I do exactly that. Believe me, that's all I used to do, but it's wrong. To sacrifice yourself can only come from thoughts of absolute lack because it's saying, "There's not enough for everyone, so I'll go without instead," because that's what a sacrifice is. You're giving up something to give to another person, and those feelings are the ones that don't feel good and will eventually lead you to resentment. There's abundance in the universe for every single person, and it's each person's responsibility to summon their own desires. So your job is you. Don't focus on anyone else. Many of us have been taught to put others first, and by doing that, we're actually putting ourselves last. And as a consequence, we've attracted feelings of being unworthy and undeserving. And as those feelings have been lodged within us since birth, basically, we've then continued to attract more life situations that had us feel more unworthy and not enough. You've got to change that thinking. There's only you that can do it. Unless you fill yourself up first, you have nothing to give anybody. It is so important that you tend to you first. Attend to your own joy first. Okay, that's what I'm trying to say. People are responsible for their own joy. When you attend to your joy and do what makes you feel good, you are a joy to be around and you are a shining example to every other person in your life. So when you feel bad about yourself, on the flip side, You are blocking all of the love, all of the good that the Universe has for you, and when you feel bad about yourself, it feels as though you're sucking the life out of yourself. When you don't feel good about you, you're on a frequency that's attracting more people, more situations, and more circumstances that will continue to make you feel bad about you. You have got to change your focus. You've got to begin thinking about all the things that are wonderful and amazing and magnificent about yourself. Look for the positives in yourself, okay? As you focus on these things, the Law of Attraction will then show you more great things about you as a person. You attract what you think about. I've said it once, I'll say it again, every friggin' episode if I have to. Louder for the people at the back. So in relationships, we're so used to complaining about other people. So for instance, I don't know, my colleagues are so lazy, my husband makes me so mad, my children are so difficult. It's always focusing on that other person, but for relationships to work, we need to focus on what we appreciate about the other person, not what we're complaining about. So when we're complaining about those things, we're only getting more of those things because we're being passionate about complaining. Even if you're having a really, really hard time in a relationship and things aren't working, you're not getting along, someone's in your face, you still can turn that relationship around. So this is exactly what I want you to do, Chloe, okay? You said that you've come into a time of hardship in your relationship. So what I want you to do for the next 30 days— I know this might sound like a bit of a chore, 30 days, but it's for the lifetime, do you know what I mean? For a happy lifetime. So for the next 30 days, I want you to sit down and write all the things that you appreciate about your other half, okay? Just a couple of things a day, you know, a couple of little things. Think about all the reasons that you love them, why you love their sense of humor, how you appreciate how supportive they are, you know, things like that, things that make you love that person. And what you'll find is that when you focus on appreciating and acknowledging their strengths, that's what you'll get more of in return, okay? The problems will fade away. You will tip the balance on the scales from bad to good, okay? Your joy lies within you, remember that. All your joy is on the frequency of love, the highest and the most powerful frequency of all. As we know by now, you can't hold love in your hand, you can only feel it in your heart. It's a state of being, okay? You can see evidence of love being expressed through people, but love is a feeling. You're the only one that can radiate and emit that feeling of love. Your ability to generate feelings of love is unlimited, and when you love you, You're in complete and utter harmony with the universe. Love everything that you can. Love everyone that you can. Focus only on things that you love. Feel that love inside you, and you will experience that love and joy coming back to you multiplied. So as you give out and radiate love, you know by now it'll appear as though the entire universe is doing everything for you and moving every joyful thing to you and moving every good person to you. So I hope that helps you a little there, Chloe, and let us know how you get on with it all. Drop us a message. The last thing that I just wanted to briefly mention is that this coming— when is it— 5:45 AM on Tuesday the 1st of February, it's the next new moon of the year. So this next new moon is all about getting back on track. Mercury is coming back out of retrograde on the 4th as well. Hooray! So things will feel as though they're going to go back to normal for us all, okay? So it's the perfect time for you to think about your commitments. Have you fell off the bandwagon in January? Okay, how do you feel? Trapped or blocked? Now is the best time to work out why and how you can overcome whatever's in your way. Also, as we know, February is the month of love with Valentine's Day being on the 14th, so this is also the perfect time to maybe use that new moon cycle to attract the love into your life. Okay, so write down your intentions the night before on Monday the 31st of January Meditate on them, power them up using crystals, shove them up your bum, whatever feels right for you, okay? Make the most of this new moon. I'll obviously, as always, be putting a video or two on TikTok and Instagram explaining what I'll be doing as well as what this means for your star sign, okay? So make sure to follow me on there and watch out over the next couple of days for these videos. I hope that you've enjoyed this episode. It's been a little bit longer than usual, do apologize, I do ramble. Um, let us know And I know you will anyway. You can contact me, follow me on TikTok @canny_crystals and Instagram @canny_crystals. Yeah, I forgot that. Alternatively, you can follow my personal, which is @marttweedy. All of the links are in my show notes below. Let us know what you want to hear from this podcast. Drop me a message. Please don't forget to like, rate, and review this podcast. It really, really helps me out so, so much. You can even now rate and review on Spotify as well, if you didn't already know. If you haven't listened to the back of the last 2 episodes, please go and do it because it really would help me out and I'd love you forever. And finally, don't forget to visit my website, cannycrystals.co.uk, for all your spiritual needs. So thank you so, so much for listening to me once again, and I'll hopefully see you all again next week. Have a super beautiful week, everyone. Enjoy manifesting on the new moon. Bye!