030: The power of gratitude

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Hi guys. Hello everyone and welcome back to Cani Crystals the podcast. Many thanks for coming back and tuning in again. Um, first things first, last week I had a really, really sore throat. This week it hasn't completely gone away. Um, however, there's a weird story about this, and I mean, I'm not going to bore you with the ins and outs of like every single detail, but I recorded the podcast on Tuesday. By Wednesday, my sore throat had got really, really bad, and I was like, okay, maybe this isn't because I was just screaming on Little Mix. Um, so anyway, I thought nothing of it. Thursday I was going to go and visit my mom, and before I did that I thought, I'm going to take a coronavirus test. I took a coronavirus test and it came up positive, bearing in mind I haven't even had it that long ago. So I was like, oh my God, what is going on? So anyway, I took that test, that test was positive. The next night I had cold sweats, I had a fever, like I was struggling around in bed, proper thrashing around. And I said to my partner Johnny, I was like, oh my God, I've actually got coronavirus again. We were due to go and see Dua Lipa on the Saturday night in Newcastle, and I just felt absolutely horrific. I had about 2 hours sleep that night, but when I woke up, I felt fresh as a daisy, and I don't understand that. So anyway, I tested again the Saturday morning, and my test was negative, and I just I don't understand how I've had it and got rid of it within 48 hours unless the test was wrong. Anyway, the people that I was around, like Jude, my life coach, and stuff like that, I basically told all the people like that I'd been around, oh, by the way, I think I've got coronavirus. And they all tested and they've all been negative, and Johnny was negative. And I was like, are these tests even like real? Like, I don't understand. Anyway, Getting on with the show. I hope that you've all had an amazing, high-vibing week because I definitely have. I definitely don't have coronavirus. Hooray! Um, I hope that all your manifestations are on the way.

Woohoo!

Tomorrow night as well, Saturday the 30th of April, we are going to see the new moon in Taurus, which will be the perfect time for you all to manifest on the new cycle, obviously, and let the universe know what it is that you want in your life. It's also in conjunction with a solar eclipse as well, so that's when the moon comes in between the sun and the earth. Earth and casts a shadow across the Earth. So it's all really good, all really high energy. It's going to be amazing. Manifest if you can. Um, but yeah, I've had a bit of a weird week manifesting myself, actually. Um, I may as well tell you all about it because nobody else in my actual real life cares. Um, so obviously if you listen to this podcast, um, in order, you'll know that last week was my first week after leaving the NHS full-time. And it was almost like, kind of like the universe was testing me. So in the whole year that I've been open as Canny Crystals, I've only ever had one single day where I've made absolutely no sales. That's one single day, and that was back in April last year, so it was when I was just starting out. Every single other day since then, I've had at least one sale every single day. And I know that might sound like, well, I'm privileged. I know I'm privileged because I know there's like small businesses out there that don't get sales for weeks on end and stuff like that. So I am really, really privileged and I am really honored. But I think because now I've been getting those, I've been expecting it, if that makes sense. Anyway, I finished the NHS on the Friday. 2 days later was Easter Sunday and I went all day without a single sale. Now obviously, my last day being the Friday, this was like 2 days after finishing the NHS, I had no sales. All that was going through my mind was anxiety, panic, and you know, thoughts of like, "Oh my God, I've just quit my job and now I'm not getting any sales." And I just think that I moved into a mind state of like desperation and scarcity within minutes. And the next day I woke up and I just had a blanket of like sheer anxiety over myself as to why I've not hit me goals. I was checking me website to make sure it was still online, like just little things to be like, oh my God, why aren't people checking out? And I looked and I'd had like about 400 people on my website and I was like, why has no one bought anything? And I was just questioning everything, why I had no income for that day. I was just desperately trying to figure out where I'd gone wrong. And that day, I think that was the Monday, I had one order and it was for two crystal chip bracelets. So that amounted to £8. Not that I wasn't being grateful or anything, but £8 when I usually turn over in excess of £250-£300 a day was a bit worrying for me. And that fueled my anxiety even more. I ended up going into a downward spiral and going inwards on myself. I canceled plans that I had with friends and I was like, I need to concentrate on my business. I need to like stop playing on my PlayStation. I need to cancel the gym tonight, that kind of thing. And all I was thinking is I need to focus on my job. Like, this is my livelihood now. And then the day after that, again, the Tuesday, I had absolutely no sales at all. And all I was thinking is, what is happening? Why me? Why now? Like I say, it was almost like the universe was testing my resilience and testing how I would cope getting these no sales. So anyway, I went to my life coaching appointment with Jude. And I told her about the trouble that I was having and how it had really set my limiting, like, self-beliefs off again of not being good enough, not earning enough to keep me family afloat, and she really helped me get back on track. So Jude gave me some really good advice. She told me to go home, tidy around the house, like, top to bottom, mainly because I enjoy tidying and cleaning. Sad, I know, yep. She told me to put on me happy playlist, to go for a nice walk somewhere with the dog, just anything that she could think of that would help me to raise my vibrations. And believe me, like, I did exactly that. I cleaned the house top to bottom. I went round with incense and sage, just saging the place. I got my wealth bowl from my wealth corner. If you're into feng shui and you've listened to past episodes, you'll know exactly what I'm on about. I got my wealth bowl and I just like touched it and cleansed it and moved it around, that kind of thing, to re-energize it. Um, what else did I do? I sat in the garden in the sun to meditate. I had a lovely hot bath to relax. Um, like I said, I took JJ out for a lovely walk, and I had subliminal affirmations playing away in my headphones. Just anything that I could do to get that desperation out of my head. And trust me, when you're money-oriented like I am, it's really, really hard to not think about money, especially when you're self-employed and you know that this is your only source of income. That's what was worrying me. So anyway, while I was in the bath, I looked at the money that I had in my savings account, in my investments, and I looked at how much my monthly bills were for things like me mortgage, me food, the gas and electric, you know, like standard living things without any luxuries. And I just said to myself out loud, why are you worried? You've got enough here to see you by for months. Even if you don't get any more sales ever. And that's not gonna happen, this was just a one-off. But if I wasn't to get any more sales from now, like forever, I've got enough to see me by for months to be able to find another job or to be able to come up with a new concept that'll sell, do you know what I mean? And I think the switch in me brain finally turned and made me realise I wasn't showing gratitude or being grateful for anything that I had in my life. All I was doing was want, want, want. I want money, I need money, I'm desperate for money. I need this, I need that, and I wasn't actually being grateful for the money that I already had sat there in savings and investments. So yeah, so I was in fact showing greed and desperation of wanting more, and all that was doing is only creating more of my financial situation feeling desperate and needy. So I told myself that I was going to start The Magic again, and you'll have heard me mention this in previous episodes too, but for anyone new, it's a book that you read over 28 days you do different gratitude exercises each day, blahdy blahdy blah. The very day that I started it again, for me, I think it was maybe the 7th or the 8th time that I've read through this book now, my sales hit £700 that day. So I don't believe in coincidences. I, you know, when it comes to the law of attraction and manifesting, I truly think that this energetic shift came from the fact that I'd started to show sincere gratitude and feelings of happiness and pleasure around being grateful, and therefore the universe said, okay, here's some more to be grateful and thankful about, and it handed me £700 in a day. So I continued to use the gratitude practices in the magic, and on, I think it was day 3, I received 2 emails. So one was from a TikTok company, it's basically Sage. I don't know if you've heard of Sage, the accountancy software people, they're based in Newcastle. Um, they've got a massive following on TikTok, but they want me to record a TikTok video advert advert for them because they want like people that are not massive on TikTok but familiar faces. So they've got me to record this 30-second TikTok video advert for them. They're going to pay me for this advert. They're also going to pay for all the costs to have the advert boosted and promoted. And then the other email was from a health and wellness magazine wanting me to do an interview with them and do a 2-page spread on owning a crystal business. How mad is that? Like, I feel like— and that's going to be paid as well, obviously, and it's free advertising for me. And I feel like both of these opportunities came about because I gave up that desperation and I started to feel gratitude for what I already had. So with this in mind, I know we're 10 minutes in already, and I know we've spoke about gratitude on numerous episodes in this series, but I wanted to do a different kind of spin on this, okay? So I want to do a gratitude meditation with you all right now. So as we know, science has shown that practicing gratitude releases these hormones that have a powerful healing effect on both your mind and body. So I want to help you learn how to get into that state of mind in this meditation. So like I say, research has shown that gratitude makes us healthy and happy. It even makes our relationships more harmonious when we feel grateful and compassionate and kind. And our bodies are therefore flooded with hormones like, say, like oxytocin and serotonin. And these are the hormones of well-being, and they have a powerful healing effect on the mind and the body. And scientists have proven over the years that the brain houses what is called a negativity bias, and that means it seeks out, remembers, and holds on to all of the tough and annoying things, all of the negative factors that happen in our day-to-day lives. And it glosses over all the good things. Totally glosses them over. And this is an evolutionary survival mechanism that we've learned as human beings over time. But because of this, we forget those unexpected smiles and hugs from our kids. We forget the small moments of appreciation from friends. Even like the lovely little snuggles that we might get from our pets. All of the stuff that we just take for granted in order to overcome the brain the brain's tendency for negativity, basically. So we need to cultivate a regular practice of soaking in the good stuff and feeding those small moments of joy and happiness and really, really just like allowing them to take over our bodies without feeling self-indulgent or guilty. And by regularly doing this, it enables us to become more robust and resilient human beings. I know that I feel happier and peaceful when I practice gratitude. And I also become a source of joy for other people too. So it's not just yourself that you're making yourself feel better about, it's other people that see you. Like, people always refer to me as a sunshine yellow. And funnily enough, when I did like a personality type indicator thing in the NHS Leadership Academy, I came out as this sunshine yellow. I'm this vibrant energy. Like, I'm not being big-headed, like, people always say it of me. Like, I'm quite a lively and like outgoing person, like face to face, but when I'm on my own, I'm quite an introvert. Do you know what I'm saying? So I can kind of keep myself to myself when I'm in the house. I've got my, my like business head on most of the time, so I'm thinking about ideas and I'm in my own head. But put a microphone in front of me or put me in front of like other people and I can talk till the cows come home. So I'm always this kind of sunshine yellow person and That's because I practice gratitude frequently and people see me therefore as a source of joy. So, so yeah, take notice of your relationships with other people when you start practicing gratitude. So anyway, first things first, before we get started, just sit comfortably as you are. This isn't the meditation. I just want you to do this as a quick little check-in. So just sit comfortably as you are and for 20 to 30 seconds just check in with yourself. So take some deep breaths and just notice how you feel in different parts of your body. Give yourself a number out of 10, okay? So 1 being the worst and 10 being the best. And I want you to score yourself on how you currently feel and what your current mindset is right now at this moment in time. So I'm just gonna pause for 20 seconds to allow you to do that. So now you've got your score, just remember that, okay? So we'll come back to this after the meditation, so just keep it in mind. But we'll check to see what improvement feeling gratitude has on your body and your mind, okay? So are you ready? I'm quite excited. This is weird because I'm sat here on my own. Obviously I've just got the dog here with us, but I'd love to be able to do this with you all sat here in front of me. But hey ho, we move. Um, okay, so this meditation can really, really help you to cultivate and notice more of the good stuff so that you can attract more of it into your life, okay? So with meditations like this, they could also be done over 21 consecutive days, and that helps to create a regular habit of gratitude and kindness and compassion within yourself. So studies show that regular gratitude practice can even change the structure of your brain, and I find that really, really mad, but it's true. All just from feeling grateful, feeling thankful, and feeling blessed. So I want you to do this meditation at the end of your day. If you are doing it throughout the day, don't worry, you can still go ahead. It's just, it's something that's probably best done at the end of your day. But you can do it either lying down or even just sat exactly how you are.

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You can do it with a candle or without. You could do it with a notepad and pen, writing down your thoughts and feelings as they come up. It's whatever feels best for you, okay? There's no right or wrong way to meditate. But as I speak and as you hear my voice right now, let's just allow ourselves to soak in those feelings of gratitude right now with your eyes closed. So I just want you to connect with your breathing. And connecting with your breathing is the simplest and most powerful way to draw your attention away from your, from your mind, away from that endless chatter and constant stream of thoughts. And it just gently guides you back into your body and heart. There's no need at all for you to change your breathing pattern in any way. Just simply allow it to guide you. Follow the in-breath and out. As you follow your breath from the nostrils, you can feel it going down, filling up your chest and your tummy. Allow your breath to just guide you inward and point out any areas of your body that you might need to relax and switch off, or just any areas where you feel yourself tense or tightening up. If you do find an area that is especially tight, just place one hand on it like I'm doing right now over my heart. I place one hand on it and gently push down. You can even massage the area, but just invite yourself to let go and soften. Now gently cast your mind across your day. Like I say, if you're listening to this on a morning and not much has happened yet, maybe think back to yesterday. What happened in your day that was good? And I just want you to pick out something that you feel truly grateful for that happened in your day. Something that was good and something that you feel grateful for. It could be something tiny, just like the fact that you managed to have a soothing hot shower, or even just that you had a nice cup of tea. It might have been a smile from a stranger while you were at the shop, or even just another driver giving way to you on the road and letting you out of a junction first. It doesn't have to be a massive thing, but just something that made you feel truly grateful. So as you went about your busy day, too often we get so caught up in the stresses and strains of our lives that we forget that there is so much to be grateful for in every single day. So what are you grateful for today? What went well for you? I invite you to visit each little moment in your memory and savor the feeling of it. Think about what was good about that certain situation. How does that gratitude feel for you inside of your body? Don't forget, you can also do this as a written exercise. This is just as powerful as closing your eyes and feeling deeply each moment of gratitude. If you are writing, just allow the pen to glide over the paper while remembering each moment of gratitude that you've experienced today. And then I just want you to take 30 seconds in silence to just now connect with that gratitude. So now, when you're ready, place one hand over your heart. And just really breathe deeply into the feeling of the warmth coming from your palm and the weight of your hand. And as you remember all of the things that you feel grateful for, just bring that beautiful smile to your face and say thank you. You can say thank you out loud, or you can even just whisper it silently to yourself. You might even want to say your own name as you thank yourself. But say, "Thank you for making this possible. Thank you for inviting all of these good things into my life. Thank you for all of these positive experiences I have each and every day. Thank you for the things to be grateful for." I am so grateful. And then just continue breathing in these beautiful feelings of gratitude towards yourself and towards life. Be kind to yourself. And now for the remainder of the day, Or if you're doing this late at night for tomorrow, just feel gratitude for all the different people that you come into contact with throughout your day. Whether that be the person behind the till in the supermarket, or even just the postie delivering your mail, or it might even be your partner or your family member back at home. Show each of them some love. Even if it's just a smile or a thank you in your head or out loud. And then when you're ready, you can open your eyes. Now that was just a really, really short meditation on gratitude. Obviously there are like longer ones that you can do, but that's one that I find particularly powerful. Because it really sets you up for the next day. I like to do that, like I say, on a nighttime. You can do it any time of the day, obviously. There's no right or wrong time to meditate. There's no right or wrong way to do it. I find that one particularly powerful when I do it last thing at night because I reflect on the day that I've had. As part of the magic, I think day 2 is that you basically put a rock or a crystal or something by your bedside, and every night you hold that rock or crystal in your hand and you cast your mind over the day and you pick out the best thing that happened to you that day. And this is a very similar exercise. You're basically putting into perspective what happened throughout the day because something, something really good could happen to you. Like, for example, this morning, um, what happened to me really, really good? Oh, so this morning I woke up, um, I had a really, really positive email with some lovely feedback from a customer, and it was absolutely gorgeous. I put it on my Instagram story and a few people commented saying, how nice is that? Um, but it was a really, really gorgeous message. And then after that, I got like dragged down massively. Like, our car was supposed to be ready in the garage and wasn't, so I had to move all of my things back. Um, I stubbed my toe as I was going down the stairs on the banister, and it really hurt. Um, I burnt my mouth drinking my tea because it was hot and I was being impatient. And it wasn't until I got to the end of the day and I thought, "God, I am drained. What a crap day." And then I did this little exercise that I've just done with you there. And as I held my hand over my heart, I thought to myself, you know what, it all started with that lovely feedback that I got from that customer. And because I never truly appreciated or felt the gratitude for it and gave myself time and I just moved on throughout the day, I thought I'd had a crap day, but then casting my mind back on it, that was the best thing that happened to me that day. And I never even felt any real gratitude or like feeling blessed or honored to have like beautiful customers like that. So that's what I did last thing at night, and it really set me up for the day ahead. And then when I wake up the next day, I feel rejuvenated and refreshed, and I can go about my day giving so much gratitude, so much happiness, and just so much joy, and I will actually look at things differently because I'm then starting my next day with gratitude and it's continually flowing into the next day. So yeah, so give that a go for yourself. You might not have done it there and then as I've just read it out. If you didn't do it there and then, sorry for the 30-second silences and the sex phone voice, um, but yeah, um, give it a go yourself. You'll really, really enjoy it. And like I say, the more that you give out gratitude, the more the universe gives us something to be grateful for. Okay, just to let you know as well before I go, this is quite exciting, but keep an eye out on my Instagram and TikTok early next week. I'll be appearing as a guest on Jude's podcast to talk about how I set up Candy Crystals, uh, the importance of having a positive mindset, and how I'm working on my limiting beliefs and feelings of never being enough. And that's something that I talk about quite often in this podcast as well, but it's something that I go into a bit more depth with Jude. And because psych— psychotherapist, she obviously gives her side of the story as well. And I do think that because the episode was so long— I know I just talk for England— um, but because the episode was still so long, I'm sure it's going to be split into two parts as well. So it might be next Tuesday and the Tuesday after, but look out for it on my Instagram and TikTok. I'll be sure to like let everyone know. I'll also put my links on the socials through the week as well so you can go and check it out. But I had so much fun recording it, and it was the very first time I've ever been on a podcast as a guest as well. So that was all fun. It was weird being interviewed, and there was a bit of a slight delay as well on the questions that Jude was asking and then me answering them. So it felt like I was constantly talking over her and she was just going, "No, no, you go, you go, you go." It was really weird. But anyway, we'll see how that turns out next week. But now I know how easy it was to actually do it I have no excuses now. So depending on how quickly I can get a guest in, because I do have a few lined up, there might even be a little guest on my podcast next week, but we'll see. Expect some guests on here real soon if not anyway. But yeah, let me know what you thought of this episode. Like I say, it was a bit different. We did a bit of a meditation practice. It's a bit weird obviously doing it through a podcast, but hey, I might even start doing some YouTube videos on it.

Woo!

You can DM me on either Instagram or TikTok. Me handles are @cunnycrystals or Mart Tweedy for my personal. Both of the links are in the show notes. Let me know about anything that you'd like me to talk about next as well. I know people keep on saying, I want an episode on EFT, you talk about EFT so much and you don't really go into much detail about it. Don't worry, there is one coming. I've got one planned. If it's not next week, it'll be the week after. Uh, but yes, EFT is coming and we will do an EFT exercise together and we will get rid of all your anxiety, your limiting beliefs through EFT tapping. It's amazing once you learn it. You'll be like wondering how you went about life without it. So yeah, don't forget to drop me a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify or even Audible, because I'm on Audible now, dear. Uh, so yeah, wherever you listen from, I'd really, really appreciate it. It takes about 20 seconds to do. All you have to do is hit however many stars you want and press submit. You don't even have to write anything if you don't want to, but it really, really helps me out. So thank you so, so much from the bottom of me heart if you've done one already. I really do appreciate it. I hope that you all have a really, really beautiful weekend, whatever you get up to, and I'll see you all for another episode next week. So lots of love to you all, thank you so much for listening, and I'll see you all next Friday.

Bye!

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Wayfair, every style, every home.

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